real-marquis-knives

[real-marquis-knives]

CUTE DATE IDEA: go to a medieval torture museum and tell each other which devices you would put each other in

[real-marquis-knives]

oh what’ve I been up to these past few weeks? well nothing much you know haha. just killing people. just murdering people. I’ve been murdering people

[real-marquis-knives]

Have you ever fired anyone before? And if so, why?

Fired anyone from what? A cannon? No, but that does sound like fun.

Ohhhh, you mean people in my employ. I don't keep organic servants, but I have been known to remove people from my military if they've been deemed detrimental to my interests.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

Magic anons a tiny kitchen knife.

Adorable! This will go nicely in my collection.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

Did you date Jonny D'ville?

Date? No. He would be ill-suited to ruling beside me.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

[real-marquis-knives]

sleeping with a knife beside me in bed, not because i’m afraid but because it is like a lover to me

[real-marquis-knives]

Oh now that's very impressive. Let me know how you did end up killing him, when it happens. Or if you need an extra pair of hands in your mission.

One knife fish, as requested

Ah, excellent. Much appreciated.

Oh, but we haven't been introduced! I am the Marquis de All the Knives, though you no doubt know that already. What can I do to repay you for the fish?

#the mailman (the mailman)

[real-marquis-knives]

Heals around it? What a curious fellow. I should like to meet him, should circumstance ever permit it. You might also try pouring acid on him, I've had good results with that.

One knife fish, as requested

Ah, excellent. Much appreciated.

Oh, but we haven't been introduced! I am the Marquis de All the Knives, though you no doubt know that already. What can I do to repay you for the fish?

#the mailman (the mailman)

[real-marquis-knives]

Step one: convince the target to trust you. This may require a disguise.

Step two: stab the target. If a simple stab wound won't incapacitate them, try poison.

Step three: burn the body.

Step four: spread the ashes to the winds.

This is my preferred method for keeping stubborn targets down. It hasn't failed me yet.

One knife fish, as requested

Ah, excellent. Much appreciated.

Oh, but we haven't been introduced! I am the Marquis de All the Knives, though you no doubt know that already. What can I do to repay you for the fish?

#the mailman (the mailman)

[real-marquis-knives]

Tips for assassinating people, or tips for not being assassinated? I can provide whichever you prefer.

One knife fish, as requested

Ah, excellent. Much appreciated.

Oh, but we haven't been introduced! I am the Marquis de All the Knives, though you no doubt know that already. What can I do to repay you for the fish?

#the mailman (the mailman)

[real-marquis-knives]

One knife fish, as requested

Ah, excellent. Much appreciated.

Oh, but we haven't been introduced! I am the Marquis de All the Knives, though you no doubt know that already. What can I do to repay you for the fish?

#holding court (asks) #the mailman (the mailman)

[real-marquis-knives]

magic anons a swordfish.

I'd prefer a knifefish, if it's all the same to you.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

Ad the age-old Knife Marquisate saying goes, never bring a gun to a knife fight.

#royal announcements (solo posts)

[real-marquis-knives]

How did you come to be a Marquis?

Well, I journeyed across the stars until I found a region occupied by scattered tribes with no central governance. The neighboring kingdoms were looking to claim their land, so I made an offer—that they would grant me official control of the region, and in return I would allow them to live as they liked largely undisturbed, and would ensure that the neighbors could not encroach on their territory. They agreed.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

Do you have an army/living guard or do you rely solely on tech for security?

I do have a standing army, but they're more for warning my neighbors off invading than for actual defense. They'd serve that function if it came to it, but I find that it generally doesn't. Also, it creates employment opportunities.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)

[real-marquis-knives]

You don’t have a nose — do you have ears?

I do not, though my humanoid body does have audio receptors.

#holding court (asks) #my subjects (anonymous)