real-tired-of-yalls-shit

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

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*Color*face

Since Tumblr cannot tell racism apart from sharing culture, I would like to point something out. 

This is yellowface:

This is not:

This is blackface:

This is not:

*color*face is the intentional mockery of a race by imitating an epitomized and perceived stereotype,typically for comedy purposes. *color*face is not a person sharing in a culture or doing something you assume was ‘invented’ by another race. *color*face is not an actor who happens to play a character of a different race. *color*face is not someone with a tan. *color*face is not someone cosplaying as a nonhuman.

So to recap,

Blackface:

not blackface:

Yellowface:

not yellowface:

There ya go

-Yuki

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

"Straight couples shouldn't be at pride"

Well uh…

1.) one or both of people you see as a “straight couple” could be pan/bi/poly/ace

2.) one or both of them could be trans or non binary

3.) you could be misgendering someone

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REMEMBER THEIR NAMES

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old

Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old

Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old

Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old

Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old

Kimberly Morris, 37 years old

Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old

Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old

Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old

Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old

Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old

Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old

Amanda Alvear, 25 years old

Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old

Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old

Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old

Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old

Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old

Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old

Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old

Cory James Connell, 21 years old

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old

Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old

Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old

Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old

Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old

Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old

Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old

Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old

Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old

Yilmary Rodriguez Sulivan, 24 years old

Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old

Frank Hernandez, 27 years old

Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old

Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old

Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old

Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old

This list will be updated as more victims are identified:

http://www.cityoforlando.net/blog/victims/ 

#orlando shooting

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information about this horrific shooting

what happened?

-Omar Mateen acted with TWO OTHER MEN who have not been identified or caught in shooting over 100 people at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida at 2am Sunday morning

-Omar had a 3 hour standoff with police, and was eventually shot dead

-50 were killed, 53 were injured

-this is the worst mass shooting America has seen

-this is the worst act of terrorism since 9/11

-police say Omar was organized and well prepared

-he was armed with an assault rifle, a handgun and an unspecified “device”

-this was an act of terror and hate

things to remember.

-it was latin night last night at Pulse

-the night was being hosted by trans women of color

-do not erase the fact that this was a hate crime against people in the lgbt+ community

-be respectful to the families affected by this tragedy

-some people could have been outed if they were killed or injured

-Omar’s father has stated that Omar was indeed homophobic and became angry after seeing two men kissing

-this shooting had nothing to do with religion

-here are some tweets about this tragedy from various people

-support everyone in this time of need. please

-there have been threats on other places such as the LA pride parade. please be careful.

what can i do to help?

-blood banks in Orlando are at capacity - if you wish to donate, schedule an appointment for later this week

-when the blood banks are no longer full, they will need O-, O+, and AB plasma

-donors must be over the age of 16, healthy, and weigh over 100 pounds

-oneblood has not lifted its ban on lgbt+ men giving blood

-oneblood is in need of water, juice, snacks, and fruit for those donating (drop them off here)

-here is a check-in page to help people locate friends and family

-family hotline: [phone]

-for emergency blood donations:

Orlando West Michigan Donor Center

345 W Michigan Street, Ste. 106, Orlando, FL 32806

Orlando Main Donor Center

8669 Commodity Circle,  Orlando, FL 32819

Oviedo Donor Center

1954 W. State Road 426, Oviedo, FL 32765

-bloodmobile locations:

Asbury United Methodist Church 220 West Horatio Ave. Maitland, FL 32751

St. Luke’s United Methodist Church 4851 S. Apopka Vineland Rd. Orlando, FL 32819

Metro Church 1491 East State Rd. 434 Winter Springs, FL 32708

-there is a gofundme now set up for the victims and their families

-you can donate to Orlando hospitals here

-The Center is an lgbt+ organization and is accepting donations here

-Orlando Youth Alliance is and lgbt+ organization and is accepting donations here

-how to contact representatives about gun control

if you need to talk.

-The Trevor Project: always open, for lgbt+ youth. call them at 1-866-488-7386.

-Trans Lifeline: for transgender people. call them at US: [phone] or  Canada: [phone]

-Scarleteen: text them at [phone]

to the lgbt+ community: i love you so much. i am here for you. you deserve to live. stay strong. stay safe.

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

Men are using a powerful hashtag to fight back against emotional abuse

According to NCADV, 4 in 10 people have experienced some kind of coercive control from an intimate partner. Sadly, #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is raising much-needed awareness for a widespread problem.

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THE UK GOVERNMENT DOES NOT THINK WOMEN CAN RAPE MEN

This is the email I received this morning:

Firstly, they just straight up dodge the question. NO ONE mentioned women penetrating men with items. Infact, the actual petition stated that we understand this is already considered rape. They completely did not answer the question of women forcing men to penetrate.

Secondly, “reflect the seriousness of the offending”. This means that the punishments are meant to reflect how serious the crime is. You can get life for rape in England. The government made no mention of how much you get charged for forcing a man to penetrate - if your case even reaches court at all.

British men listen up, this is your own government telling you that your rape is not as serious as a woman’s rape.

Thirdly, plain as day, they state that the majority of MPs agree that only men can rape, seeing as only men can penetrate, as well as women who use objects. The government will only consider a woman a rapist if she has a part in a gang rape. The people you elected to represent your constituency do not think women have the autonomy to be able to hurt a man in this way.

THIS is why men don’t tell people when they get assaulted. Not patriarchy. Not toxic masculinity. This.

Their own fucking government plainly and simply tells them that their rape is not as serious and that their rape was not even rape. If I was told by the government that my rape was not as serious as the opposite gender and that my rape isn’t even rape, I wouldn’t fucking bother to come forwards either.

This is why you can’t trust rape stats. I personally know 3 men who have been forced to penetrate, but under British law they just don’t fucking count. We have no idea how many men are being abused and its sickening.

This is why I’m a Mens Rights Advocate. Having your rape recognised is a human right. Having your rapist brought to justice is a human right.

I signed this petition, and this time it failed. But we will continue to raise awareness and I won’t stop. The MHRM is doing all it can with our resources to change minds and change laws and we won’t give up.

If any men see this, if you have been raped, by a man or a woman PLEASE go to this website:

https://www.survivorsuk.org/resources/

I know this sounds so dark and gloomy and I know coming forward looks bleak, but please if you have been raped, come forward. Tell the police, tell your story. The more brave survivors tell their story, the more people will see how fucked up this law is and you will in turn help other survivors.

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Don't treat people like shit and play the victim when they react.

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Black Tumblr, you get what you pay for.

If you call someone a racial slur, expect the same in return.

If you call me (a)

mayo

cracker

honkey

peckerwood

whipped tub of butter

white devil

(white) demon

or any other racial slur towards whites, expect me to call you (a)

nigger/nigga

coon

jigaboo

darky

black, midnight, evil motherfucker*

boy

uppity (nigger)

cotton picker

spear chucker

nappy haired

or any other equally offensive slur.

No, I don’t care about whatever reason you think you have to justify your hatred against me. Hating me because I’m white is something I don’t have to put up with, just like someone hating you for being black is something you shouldn’t have to put up with. Stop being hateful towards people for their skin color. We’re in this together.

[*props if you get this reference]

#regardless if you think black people can be racist #this is true

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

Okay, wtf?

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YES

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Friendly reminder

Boys can get anorexia, Boys can get bulimia, Boys can have bad body image, Boys can have low self esteem, Boys can get mental illnesses, Boys can get depression, Mental Illnesses do not have a gender. Stop acting like they do.

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It's okay to not demand evidence of rape if like a person who you know and trust tells you in private or something, right?

This is my personal opinion on this, so take this as you will. Personally I say help them. If somebody decides that you are trustworthy enough for them to tell you that they were raped, you should worry about their well-being and such before you even consider the possibility that they are lying. Especially if it's somebody you know and trust confiding in you. As long as you or them weren't planning on going full mattress girl on over the incident I would leave the evidence gathering to police(as terrible at it as they can be) and worry more about your friend.I hope this helped.

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

Trans ≠ Drag

Drag ≠ Trans

This has been a PSA. Thank you. 

[real-tired-of-yalls-shit]

800 followers!

I'm honestly surprised that people are still following this blog despite my inactivity. Thanks to all my followers. I'll try to post more often again, but school work always comes first. Anyways to the one fact about me. I actually have a huge interest in psychology and sociology and might major in one if those field.