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antonio-riera
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i can't move and i can't tell my boyfriend!!! i don't know what to do!!!! i can't take it! i just can't fucking go to the store!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i knew why i wish ANY of this made sense i wish i didn't have this bullshit i wish i managed my life years ago i wish i had never sent that message so i would never drag him down with me i am a heavy weight drowning drowning drowning. silently. I CAN'T TAKE THISMAN!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! NO ONE CAN HANDLE ME BUT APPARENTLY I'M NOT EXTREME ENOUGH BUT I DON'T WANT TO UP THE ANTE?????? WHY DO I HAVE TO *DO* SOMETHING EXTREME FOR PEOPLE TO SEE HOW EXTREME MY FEELINGS ARE. I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT. I CAN'T PRETEND. I CAN'T HANDLE MY OWN FEELINGS. JUST READING MY OWN WORDS IS SO CRINGE WHO EVEN LET HER TALK??? WHO LET THAT LITTLE GIRL GROW UP???
if my child self saw me now... she wouldn't even recognize me.
i guess we justt have to wait until i stop being "sensible"
wuss
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words do not express how much what i say does not matter
even the outcasts don't want me
i belong nowhere
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it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter. clearly i have lost my mind, and evidently, it doesn't take much. to think that sanity is so fragile. or maybe our society is so much stronger. scorn and shun. scorn and shun. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET BETTER ALREADY YOUR "PAIN" IS GETTING EXPENSIVE. TIME-CONSUMING. FUCKING CONTRIBUTE ALREADY. WHERE IS YOUR CONTRIBUTION???????????????????????????????????????????
waste of space
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what if i just run away? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go? but where do i go? where do i go? where do i go?
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i feel like the only thing i'm good for is destroying anyone I care about. my poor boyfriend. i'm weighing heavily on him. i don't know if i can take it anymore. everything is so hard it's like i can't feel anymore. it's not even numbness. it's absence.
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it doesn't matter what I say. everything gets written off as emo anyway. written off. expired goods. written off.
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I wish I could do every creative thing. I want to keep an art journal, but then I want to write, but then I want to sing and play piano. Or maybe I want to teach myself guitar? But I want to knit and crochet and ooh I want to sew too. Have I mentioned that I want to bake or learn how to cook something more interesting than Kraft "mac n' cheese"? I want to become a poet, having read no poetry. I want to film artsy vlogs that romanticize my life. I want to become an anonymous, underground music-producing genius. I want to create jewelry and home decor and I want to paint murals on my walls. To make pottery by my own hands. To read every book at the local library. To become creation. To become art itself.
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nothing i do matters hey! nothing i do matters hey!
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somebody please tell me to get off of this website and actually read
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