riverfelloff

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“I get he was groomed but I cannot stand how much he talks about his ex”

HE’S NOT TALKING ABOUT HIS EX. HE’S TALKING ABOUT THE GODDESS OF OH YOU KNOW: MAGIC? THE THING THAT’S BEEN HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE SINCE HE CAN REMEMBER???

Like I don’t see people get nearly as miffed when Shadowheart goes on and on with the Sharran drivel or when Lae’zel praises Vlaakith for taking a shit. GODS FORBID Gale talks about the goddess who fucked over his life. All three of them were abused by their goddess/god-like ruler, but because Shadowheart and Lae’zel didn’t “date” their abusers it’s “different”.

Like I get this entire post is an overreaction on my part, but you don’t have to even like Gale to understand he’s not “just talking about his ex”. He’s literally talking about the goddess who presides over the thing he’s obsessed with—the thing that his mastery and talent in has defined his entire existence since he can remember.

He’s not obsessed with Mystra, he’s obsessed with magic. He’s not yapping on about Mystra, he’s yapping on about magic. It seems like he’s talking about Mystra because he literally believes Mystra to be magic itself (part of the grooming) SO OF COURSE HE’S GOING TO TALK ABOUT MYSTRA.

I’m gonna delete this later tho, I just get salty about this topic. 😭😂

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[riverfelloff]

when i say that i want a man to look at me and see a hozier song, THIS IS WHAT I MEAN.

some gale quotes because this man is a poet

one moment with you could sate me for a lifetime, and prise the fear from my heart.

i can't imagine anywhere that could turn my heart from you, cursed or otherwise. you'd always be as beautiful and as impressive.

you see me as i am and do not find me wanting. with these stars as my witness, i swear - you will always be enough for me.

godly power, perhaps i can live without, but you? you're everything.

with you, i forget my goddess. i love you.

whether i condemn this world or not: i choose you.

when you wake, it will be back at our camp, back in our small, dirty, bloody patch of existence. but stay with me now. there are endless worlds out there. countless ways to declare love. infinite ways to express it. too much for one night... but we shall try.

i don’t deserve you, truly. but i will do my utmost to earn the right.

then have me - but have the best possible version of me.

you put the stars to shame. let's sit here another while - i want to drink you in.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldurs gate gale #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate 3

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giving my enemies psychic damage by being too horny on main

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she smile cause i said her eyes crinkle and its pretty

she let me hit bc i said her smile lines made me happy

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she let me hit bc i said her smile lines made me happy

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POV: the worst throuple you know won’t stop doing Don’t Fear The Reaper at karaoke night

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Cazador: you ruined him!

Astarion: honey, I was ruined when you turned me *snap fingers, pop hip out, and flip his hair* mhm.

Gale: all we did was make him more... Cunty? Is that the word?

Tav: yep, he's that it girl.

Astarion: you know it girly pop.

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When I have to do evil things in Baldur's Gate 3 for Astarion's approval

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Literally me every night

i'm not complaining though

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astarion is just so pretty and endearing and easy to love. if i was dropped into the bg3 world and didn't die of any of the other horrifying things happening, i'd die of big heart eyes emoji disease. id get blown up bc i was too busy admiring his damn eyelashes to hear someone warn me about the trap i'm about to step in. he could hand me a poison (to coat my weapon in, obviously) and i'd be like "whatever you say, beautiful" without thinking twice and down it like a shot. my foolishness would be my downfall bc it'd make him laugh and the sound of it would eviscerate me. everyone would turn just in time to see my meatless skeleton crumpling to the ground if he gave so much as an exhale of amusement at something i'd said. if he asked for my blood, i would NOT hesitate to let this dude drain me so dry id be flat enough to fit through a mail slot. they could put a stamp on my forehead and mail me to baldurs gate to save time.

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i've taken a while off of tumblr to obsess over baldur's gate 3, in that time i have utterly fallen in love with astarion.

that being said, i have seen so many people making a cowboy!astarion and i find it so funny. does he look good in the outfit? hell yes. would he EVER ride a horse or willingly go to a farm? hell no.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldur's gate iii #astarion #cowboy astarion #astarion ancunin

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Me remembering Undertale

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OK OK OK OK OK OK

HEAR ME OUT

Spies are forever, The Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye, and all of the Solve it Squad media take place in the same universe which somehow i am just now figuring out?

hmmmm sound familiar?

oh yup there it is

which means that chimera succeeded. curt mega did not in fact win and essentially shot the love of his life in the face for nothing. if you think about the implications

as for solve it squad…

apologies for the shitty autogenerated captions but? they just? namedropped a background scientist? from pay attention!? making? saf? canon? in the solve it squad?

one could extrapolate that bc saf is canon in both, sis and wayward are also canon to each other

which means that in all three of these. there are talking dogs, werewolves, evil information mining businesses. they talk about the New Democratic Republic of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia in the history books. mayberry exists. connor creek exists. scrags could meet up with artemis and paul and tell them about the mystery the gang just solved in their tiny town. instead of apple devices there is chimera. some people from saf are probably still alive. the implications. this is so important to me for no reason.

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(None of them are sane they are all hypocrites)

This is silly but wouldn't leave my brain so now I have to curse you all with it too :)

[riverfelloff]

shout out to the spankoffski brothers 😔 they would've loved midnight goat birth

#WHY THE HELL ARE THESE MFS GIVING BIRTH RIGHT NOW #IT IS MIDNIGHT #JUST HOLD IT IN?? #<- /j #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #team starkid #npmd #peter spankoffski #joey richter #tnoy karaxis #goat bros #tinky #tinky npmd #ted spankoffski