roadsidebrambles

[roadsidebrambles]

🦇 Reminder that the way to support artists & content creators on this site is by using the reblog function; likes don’t do anything here. It doesn’t work like instagram. Think of likes as more of a “bookmarking” function.

⚠️ By the way; reblogging is not the same as reposting. reposting is saving an image and making a post from scratch and taking it away from its original source -the source being the gifmaker, artist, graphic designer, etc. which is basically stealing- while reblogging is sharing without taking anything from the original source.

❤ These amazingly talented people spend hours making content for all of us for free. The least we can do is hit a button to spread their creations across the website to show them appreciation for their work and what they love to do, and motivates them to create more.

[roadsidebrambles]

No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.

I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—

[roadsidebrambles]

These are the actual colours I painted with, but I played around a bit with gradient maps to get a few variations... I like them all, and cannot really decide which I prefer. Ref is from this.

[roadsidebrambles]

so you dated the wrong person and learned a hard lesson. you chose the wrong major and had to start over again. you cherished a friend who backstabbed you. it sucks, but it’s also going to work out. that’s life; you learn, hurt, love, cry, laugh, and keep going. you experience setbacks and you grow and it’s all okay.

[roadsidebrambles]

[roadsidebrambles]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason:

[roadsidebrambles]

Since everyone seems to love my sex shop stories, here’s another one.

Phone calls were literally a game for us. Not all phone calls, but there was a specific brand of call where guys would creep on us. 90% of the workforce at the sex shops was women. So we’d get dudes calling jacking off or trying to get their jollies from us.

The game: make them hang up. We could have hung up. On a few occasions I did, but for the most part we made a sport out of getting creeps to go flaccid. It really depended on a caller.

You couldn’t just go in for belittling them straight off- some guys wanted that. You had to tailor your strategy to the perv. Overall it was pretty fun and it turned an aspect of the job that could’ve become a major bummer into a fun sport. We’d get excited when the phones rang.

So one day the phone rings. I pick up and it was very clearly a young teen who was putting on a deep voice. I was utterly delighted, I’d never had a crank call before. He said, “I have a dildo emergency! Can you deliver 5 boxes of dildos to my home?!”

It took everything in me not to crack in that moment. It was so funny. It was like three kids had walked through the door in a trench coat and the phrase “dildo emergency” was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard.

But I kept it together. In smooth customer service tones I replied, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear you’re having an emergency, but due to the nature of our product we do require people to come pick it up themselves.”

The caller audibly deflated. Some of the deep voice he was putting on bled away when he said plaintively, “But it’s an emergency…”

“I’m sorry, sir, rules are rules.”

He hung up. I burst out laughing and told my coworker what had happened. She said, “I will buy you lunch if you call back and pretend you can deliver something.”

This sounded like an all around win for me, and the kid hadn’t used anything to block his number. So I called back.

“Hello!” This was before caller ID was common for home phones and so he picked up in his totally normal voice, several octaves higher than before.

“Hello, I’m calling regarding your dildo emergency?”

“Oh! Hem hem,” he coughed, getting his voice back into character for me. “Yes! The emergency!”

“Well I’ve spoken to my manager and it’s your lucky day. We’ll be able to make a delivery after all. Five boxes you said? We can swing it by later, we’ll just need your name, address, and credit card number.”

He was thrown by needing to provide info and was silent for a moment then said, “Well how much is it for five boxes?”

“About five hundred dollars, sir.”

He slipped out of his character voice to exclaim, “Five hundred dollars?! What kind of dildos are they?!”

“Just standard six inches with balls, sir.”

This was his breaking point. He started wheezing with laughter trying to repeat the phrase “six inches with balls” incoherently.

“So your address and card info?”

He hung up and I broke down laughing too. We both got a kick out of it, and I won the game twice in one day.

[roadsidebrambles]

She's not wrong.

[roadsidebrambles]

[roadsidebrambles]

she young on my justice until i

[roadsidebrambles]

Ollie and Dinah

22

[roadsidebrambles]

Jordana LeSesne (1.8.7) is a Black trans woman. She is widely regarded as the top drum and bass producer in the world. Without her, we wouldn’t have electronic music as we know it today. 

She came out in 1998 and went on to get a contract with the Syfy Channel, be profiled in Rolling Stone, and have several albums chart in the Top 25.

She also mixed the original music for the FREE Cece documentary!

[roadsidebrambles]

Jeremy Miranda (American,b. 1980)

Tide Pool

Acrylic on panel

[roadsidebrambles]

you've heard of love triangles now get ready for th

[roadsidebrambles]

[roadsidebrambles]

[roadsidebrambles]

“I wish ancient people preserved their writing and artifacts better” I write in electronic signals on a piece of hardware that can’t retain its efficacy for more than a few decades.