rufflesthefeathers

[rufflesthefeathers]

[rufflesthefeathers]

Im very good at seeing everyone’s side. I’m actually quite fascinated by hearing various opinions and perspectives and how individuals have come to hold the beliefs they have. I was that annoying two year old who started talking and never stfu, I reportedly (very annoyingly) questioned and rationalized through everything out loud. See I learned at a very young age that all people (no matter how alike or different from one’s self you may think them) do what they do for a reason. Though you may not understand the ‘why’ of a particular behavior or choice of another person, you can guarantee that there is in fact always a why. And get this! An overwhelming majority of the time that why is NOT to wrong you, to piss you off, or inconvenience you- in fact it likely that is has very little ‘if any’- to do with you.

[rufflesthefeathers]

I’m a child of divorce much like many of us are. And as a disclaimer I am all for divorce* I believe that one of the things children need most is to be able to see their parent happy and in truly healthy relationship.

I was raised in circumstances where my most influential caretakers- parents and parental figures all were polar opposites of one another. They had about as opposite views on what was important, what wasn’t important, what was right- what was wrong, what was good and what was bad, what was okay and what was not okay as any two entities could possibly have. As one would then assume I was raised constantly hearing and seeing very diverse sides to just about every issue under the sun. I was also unfortunately raised hearing how awful the other side way, and how each side loathed the other. I would hear and see the disdain from both sides whenever I reminded them of the other, or be looked down on or dismissed for trying to understand the ways of the other. I know that there is no way In hell that either diverse side of my background would have ever intentionally hurt me. I also know that they had no idea how difficult it was trying to form an identity with the vastly different dichotomy of influence. Over the years of being influenced by and exposed to vast ways of thinking and being by my biological family of origin, as well as various culturally diverse peer groups, and step families added views.. I ended up being someone who was extremely good at understanding things from a multitude of view points, and who had a genuine appreciation and found values in all those view points.

[rufflesthefeathers]

When confronted with the unknown or unfamiliar in todays world people tend to respond viciously- which I’ve never quite understood. People feel threatened by unfamiliar concepts or perspectives and typically respond by attacking or discrediting an idea all together.

[rufflesthefeathers]

I

At many points throughout growing up in the American education system (both public and private- and on both sides of the U.S.) I was flagged as “talented and gifted”, I was singled out, acknowledged and even praised for scoring extremely high in comprehension and “my ability to rapidly manipulate abstract concepts” , I was lead to believe that it was a good thing and not only that.. but that my over developed ability in this specific domain would aid me in being success in the real world. Perhaps if I had consciously directed my life in a way that would have allowed me to capitalize on this “gift” that would have been the case. That’s not the way my cards ended up getting played though. What I was told was my gift/talent has ended up being the worst possible curse- that seems to hinder me day by day in 2023.

I’m “odd”, I’m different, weird, and frustrating in a way that people tend to find extremely uncomfortable. I feel like any adult existing in the year 2023 would agree that your typical person when confronted with something they don’t understand.. is pretty uhhmm.. not open or perhaps not very welcoming to the idea of exploring further.