ryanlty

[ryanlty]

I fell in love with you and I wasn’t able to stop ever since then.

[ryanlty]

I hope this melody brings you right back home

I pray these memories fill your mind with hope

You’ll never be alone I’m always watching over you

So don’t you ever worry cause I’m always here for you

[ryanlty]

Bob

Over 20 years had gone by

you’re tired; you’re exhausted

yet you put on a smile

telling us that we’ll be fine

to not mind

to not cry

even if we’re in a bind

Wrinkles on your face

Stiff shoulders and blurry eyesight

time waits for no one and you’re no exception

you were strong

you were healthier

how I wished those moments

could last a little longer

You’ll always be the one I look up to

you never waver

even under immense pressure

you handled your responsibilities

never wanted us to worry about liabilities

but under that strong front

is a soul that’s waiting for its time to rest

and finally be at peace

Over 20 years had gone by

you’re worn out; you’re crumbling

yet I’ve never seen a single tear

falling off from those eyes of yours

you gave your all

you provided us with everything

you will always be the strongest person I know

and I will always be proud because of you

[ryanlty]

“people go but how they left always stays”

— Rupi Kaur

[ryanlty]

“I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.”

— Unknown

[ryanlty]

“It has made me better, loving you.”

— Henry James

[ryanlty]

Did you know that the human heart remembers?

People who’ve gotten heart transplants would develop habits from the donor, or even have completely new personalities.

That’s because the heart remembers, and we’ve mistaken that our brain holds all memories and actions.

That’s why we tell others “I love you with all my heart” and not “I love you with all my brain/mind”.

That’s why if my heart were to ever be given to someone else, they would feel all the pain I’m going through right now, and they would feel all the feelings I have for you.

They’ll experience the pain of losing you, experience the pain of seeing you in another’s arms. But they won’t know why, and they won’t know who you are, yet the pain is so real, the wound is so deep, because that’s what I felt when you left me.

If my heart were to ever be given to someone else, they’d feel a sense of loss at times, even though it’s a completely working and healthy heart. They might listen to the music I loved, and be able to play instruments like I did, but they’ll also feel like a part of it was taken away. The part of me that died a little bit when you left me.

They might feel rage out of the blue, feel sad during a beautiful day with a perfect weather, they might even wake up with a panic attack after having nightmares, nightmares made out of you and someone else, unfortunately they might never know why, but they’ll feel it all.

But above it all, they’ll feel love. A love for a certain stranger. They will love you without knowing why, without knowing who you are, but they’ll love you, because I loved you with all my heart.

The heart remembers, and mine will not be an exception.

[ryanlty]

“You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[ryanlty]

To You,

I am very sorry

For disappointing you and for failing you.

Believe it or not, I loved and I still do.

But I was obsessive, needy and clingy.

You had your reasons, you were right to do so, I was toxic, I couldn’t be what you want me to be.

It hurts. And I deserved it.

Although you might never know, but this time, I’ll do it right. Even if it’s too late.

This time, no more frustrations, no more despair, disappointments, and most importantly, no more shackles.

I would give up everything for you, but this time, I won’t ever force you to take my hand.

This time, you’re free of the trouble, the trouble that is me.

There are no regrets, everything in life is an experience, whether good or bad. The good ones become memories, and the bad ones become lessons.

I’ve gained experiences, beautiful, precious memories, and most importantly, I’ve learnt lessons.

And for that, I’m very thankful.

Thank you for loving me, for letting me love you, and for me to love you from afar, now that you’re gone.

There are still so many things I wish to say to you, but I know damn well, it’s too late at this point, or rather, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Enough.

So here’s me, bottled up with countless words, feelings and emotions, but perhaps it’s for the best. Let’s keep it that way, but may these reach you.

I wish you love, I wish you happiness.

Now that you’re gone, away from me, I wish you peace, too.

With love,

R

#letter

[ryanlty]

“I wish I had done everything on Earth with you.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[ryanlty]

“Once you know a thing you can’t ever unknow it.”

— Carol Rifka Brunt

[ryanlty]

“I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[ryanlty]

“I will love you if I never see you again and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.”

— Lemony Snicket

[ryanlty]

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in you souls. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

— Unknown

[ryanlty]

“I used to imagine adventures for myself, I invented a life, so that I could at least exist somehow.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

[ryanlty]

“Come and kiss me and let’s forget.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[ryanlty]

“I’ll be here just waiting and hoping for every long dream of you to come true.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald