sacrasm

[sacrasm]

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

Brother needs a hamburger. Get bro a hamburger

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

new poem called "OTZI AWAKE". it's right here so you don't have to subscribe to my substack but i'd love it if you did

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

oh wow! hey if you take pills check this out. new medicine taking meta just dropped.

according to these models, out of the 4 tested postures, the best position to digest pills is laying on your right side. standing upright has a similar time to laying in your back at twice as much as laying on the right side, and laying on the left side is the slowest by far.

laying on right side: pill dissolves in around 10 minutes.

standing: pill dissolves in 23 minutes. laying on the back has a similar time.

laying on left side: pill dissolves in up to 100 minutes.

https://doi.org/10.1063/5.0096877

definitely worth a lot more research.

if you want your medicine to kick in fast, try laying on your right side! if you want your medicine to kick in slower, try laying on your left side.

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

the answer is he would snap his geriatric back in half if he so much as bends weird

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

toads riding snake

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

guy sitting in front of me in class was vandalizing wikipedia and i kept reverting his edits as soon as he made them and he couldn't figure out why it was happening

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

There’s evidence that Palestinians in the mass graves (including babies, children, people in medical scrubs) were buried alive.

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

It is vital that we keep the efforts of so many students across the United States from going to waste. We need to keep the momentum going and ensure that news of the cruelty happening to the people of Palestine is not ignored or suppressed.

Despite what many news outlets may have you believe, what is happening in our world is not minor in the slightest. It is a genocide that is happening before our eyes, day after day. Do not forget the administrative responses these colleges have given to the act of bringing attention this inhumanity. This is history happening now, and these colleges are on the wrong side of it.

These students are calling to divest college funds from Israel. Do not let the media warp their efforts and paint them as an antisemitic mob. Do not let those opposing these demonstrations hide behind claims of antisemitism to justify their actions. This is about stopping human suffering, and to believe anything different is willful ignorance.

#clonk'd

[sacrasm]

Cal Poly Humboldt, April 24th 2024

#clonk'd