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Bruce, making a coffee run for his kids- And the last drink is for my teenage son. I'm sorry it's a bit long.

Bruce, reading off the text message Tim sent detailing the order- A thirty two ounce mocha with seven extra espresso-

Barista, interrupting him and already starting the drink- One Tim Drake special, you mean? Yeah. We all know it. It's part of our training for new employees at this point.

Bruce-...

Bruce-..?

Bruce- I've... I've been meaning to talk to him about his caffeine intake-

Barista- Yeah, you probably should. I mean WE would, but he's also our best tipper

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He is the world’s greatest detective, he is a billionaire, he is a bisexual disaster, he never got out of his emo phase, he is a single father with six kids, dresses up like a bat, he wants to help people, he is autistic, he is Jewish on his moms side, he has a complicated relationship with his moms side of the family, he has three parents, he has weirdest older brother, he’s the coolest guy ever, and he’s a pathetic loser and I love him

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Lucy: How's parenthood treating you?

Levy: I wasn't expecting so much crying.

Lucy: That's normal for babies!

Levy: What? The babies are fine. I was talking about Gajeel.

Gajeel, sobbing from the Yaje and Shutora's room: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

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they’re so fucking stupid and i love them for that i guess

(inspired by this post by @erzasimpbitch <3)

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Short DPXDC Prompts #594

Tim finds a strange amulet while on a mission for Bruce. Instead of putting it in storage in the Batcave, he puts the necklace on and convinces himself that it’s safer on his person. He can’t for the life of him figure out why he just can’t let the amulet leave his line of sight but he just can’t.  He figured out why a few weeks later when he woke up at least 150ft (46m) taller than he was before.  He came to two conclusions very quickly: 

1.) The amulet is absolutely magical. 2.) He was a dragon.

—— King Danny received word that an amulet from Aragon’s kingdom has found a new host. Not only that but Dora and himself were tasked to train and teach this new amulet user. Upon using a ghost portal to find the amulet wielder he came to two conclusions very quickly: 

1.) The amulet had chosen an alive human as its wearer. 2.) The amulet wearer was very hot.

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I love everything about this. I want Danny to sassily chew and pop bubblegum to interrupt annoying people at the funniest times while they try and argue why they need to see Mr Wayne right this second and why he should just let them in/tell them Mr Wayne’s schedule etc

Danny Fenton, a new receptionist at Wayne Enterprises:

Vicky Vale, knowing Danny Is Not Ready for her: So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?

Danny "Town Menace Phantom" Fenton, done with Genderbent Wes Weston: To fuck your mom.

Bruce's experienced receptionist that left for 6 seconds: okay, Danny no--

Danny, who knows something's up with the Wayne family: and your Dad, because we support the LGBTQIA community. Thank you and leave.

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Danny: we are both too sad, small, and color-scheme conforming to be near that man or any of his previously-acquired sad, (at one point) small, color-scheme conforming children!

Seeing the gaggle of Wayne wards, Danny came to a conclusion that horrified him. He turned to his clone, tucked her arms to her side, threw her onto his shoulder, and booked it out of there.

"Danny," she squawked.

"Do you want to be adopted by a billionaire?"

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DP x DC prompt. Space obsession.

~'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars~I think I saw you~

Danny has a space obsession but he doesn’t think much of it. A small flight a little beyond orbit dulls his craving for Space. Usually.

~as long as~

On a field trip to the Daily Planet Danny Fenton hears an argument between Lex and Clark about where is Conner gonna stay.

Danny*has no second thoughts*, *high 'cause objects of his obsession are extrimely near in his human form*.

Danny: Hey, I have an extra room! Do you want to stay with me? I’ll show you my space rocks collection.

Conner*tired of this shit*: Will your parents mind having a stranger staying in their home?

Danny: They will be totally fine.

Danny to Lex&Clack: I borrow this boy to keep him with me for forever. Bye.

Lex: ..They grow up so fast.

Clark: SuPeR FaSt. But where were we?

Lex&Clark: *start the fight again*.

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PSEUDO DADS WAYNE AND HOPPER/BEAT TO SHIT STEVE HARRINGTON A03 LINK

S3 AU wherein Hopper calls in a favor and Wayne ends up hiding a beaten and battered Steve Harrington in his house.

Eddie's not happy about it.

SEPERATE POST FOR ANYONE WHO JUST WANTS THE A03 LINK

First chapter has all three parts together.

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God I love Danny mentally torturing the batfamily. Thsi is beautiful. Framing this. Great work everybody, excellent job team.

Dp x Dc au: Normal is Good

Okay so hear me out— i see lots of “you can’t control Danny he’s a wild child” premises and like, I agree, I love that, but JUST hear me out. Danny who is just entranced by being treated like a NORMAL KID.

I think for best results this should be done with de-aged Danny so he’s a bit younger, but it can def work with regular Danny too.

Danny winds up running around Gotham for one reason or another doing INSANE SHIT to try and help or just survive and his family is out of the way. The explosion, Bad Fentons, etc— and one of the bats picks up Danny. This can be a dad!Jason, or dad!Dick, or classic Bruce Adoption. But they see this little shit running around and are like “no fucking way, not on my watch you little maniac”

Now, a lot of people use the “Jazz practically raised Danny” card, and I love that card and fully support it, but she was also a kid. With no other parents to consult. Who was raised by the Fentons originally and def has no clue what normal parents are like. So she probably didn’t exactly measure up to how a kid is MEANT to be raised. So Danny still had an incredibly strange childhood that just was Not Normal, but I feel like we see Danny with a deep desire to be normal. He doesn’t even really like being a superhero that much, he just wanted to be a kid.

So he gets bat adopted, and Danny is just functioning how he did growing up with the Fentons, which is No Restrictions Do What You Want. And then his bat dad (using Jason for this) is like “No. It’s Bed Time.” And Danny. Danny is ALL for that. He’s bewildered. Mystified. He’s not grumpy about being told what to do at ALL, because he’s just so shocked.

“You’re serious? You’re fucking dead-ass serious? It’s bed time? Oh my god this is so cool. I’ve never had a bed time before! This is great!” Because this is the first time he’s EVER been treated like a normal child by a parental figure. He just got sent to bed. Wow.

Having a parent who is in charge of keeping him healthy and actually enforces Danny taking care of himself is kind of cool.

“Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you.” And they won’t try to eat him back? Fuck yeah, he’ll eat his vegetables!

“No you aren’t allowed to go out at 2 in the morning, go back to bed, you have a doctors appointment for your yearly checkup tomorrow.” oh ancients, Danny has always heard other kids complain about not being allowed out at night, but to have himself told he can’t? This is so weird. And he’s never been to a yearly check up before!

“Brush your teeth before bed” “I can’t get cavities, I’m dead!” “Ya know, for some reason I don’t believe you. When was the last time you went to the dentist? Are you sure you can’t get them?” Danny has 7 cavities.

The first time Danny gets to actually use the “my dad said No” excuse, he is ECSTATIC. Jack and Maddie have LITERALLY never told him he can’t go out somewhere. Ever. He’s in a whole new world where he doesn’t have to fight ghosts, or be a hero, or anything and he loves it. He has a normal kids room without deadly weapons in it and normal kid hobbies and a fridge full of normal food and a parent who enforces a bed time, and it’s weird as hell and it’s great. Normal is pretty damn good, he has no clue what Sam and Tucker were always complaining about. Shits sweet.

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Freak of the week

Danny, in his human form, can take one hell of a punch.

Online he's a well known stuntman, doing absolutely batshit insane stunts that would 100% kill anyone else. He makes a point of flaunting the lack of a meta gene in his genetic tests he took for his audience, and is generally known to be juuuuuust slightly unhinged.

So he's in Metropolis, getting ready to do a stupidly dangerous stunt, when a mind-controlled Superman lands in front of him.

In front of a live stream.

So he can't go Ghost like he wants.

Instead, he turns to the camera and grins, all teeth and feral.

"Who wants to watch me eat a punch from Superman and live?"

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Freak of the week

Danny, in his human form, can take one hell of a punch.

Online he's a well known stuntman, doing absolutely batshit insane stunts that would 100% kill anyone else. He makes a point of flaunting the lack of a meta gene in his genetic tests he took for his audience, and is generally known to be juuuuuust slightly unhinged.

So he's in Metropolis, getting ready to do a stupidly dangerous stunt, when a mind-controlled Superman lands in front of him.

In front of a live stream.

So he can't go Ghost like he wants.

Instead, he turns to the camera and grins, all teeth and feral.

"Who wants to watch me eat a punch from Superman and live?"

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I don’t need any more fanfic ideas I don’t need any more I don’t need any more—

(God thsi is so fucking good I am going insane)

DPxDC prompt where when Vlad removes Danny's ghost half from him following the events in TUE, he more specifically removes his Core.

The human Danny that remains is half of what he should be. Half his memories, half his personality, half his drive-- half of everything that matters to him. The other half of him remains trapped in the core, locked away and desperate to reunite with his other half.

Vlad keeps the core on him at all times, determined to keep it away from Danny. He doesn't fully understand what he's done, but he knows that the core has life in it, and that reuniting the boy with it could prove disastrous for him. Particularly when the human Danny that remains has become such a docile, acceptable model of a son.

Vlad attends a Wayne Gala in Gotham, with the core ever on his person. There's an odd sort of energy to Gotham. A weird, nasty curl of ectoplasm choking the air that he doesn't care to understand. It's just as present at the gala, and no less so when he meets Bruce Wayne and his assortment of children.

One of them appears ill. He stares at Vlad with wide eyes and an ashen face. Vlad doesn't think much of it when the young man turns and storms off, assuming he's finding a place to be sick.

He's not wrong.

~*~

Jason's not entirely sure what he feels, looking at Vlad Masters. It's like watching hands claw underneath a sheet of ice, knowing that someone beneath it is slowly drowning. He feels sick, he feels afraid-- he feels horror and anger in equal measure.

Jason shakes, stumbling away from the encounter. He's not sure where to even begin when Dick follows him, asking what's wrong.

Extra layer of disaster: Danny attends the gala also and his presence feels Hollow.

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Danny Fenton, a new receptionist at Wayne Enterprises:

Vicky Vale, knowing Danny Is Not Ready for her: So, where does Bruce Wayne leave for during his meetings? A new woman? Man? Trouble in the family?

Danny "Town Menace Phantom" Fenton, done with Genderbent Wes Weston: To fuck your mom.

Bruce's experienced receptionist that left for 6 seconds: okay, Danny no--

Danny, who knows something's up with the Wayne family: and your Dad, because we support the LGBTQIA community. Thank you and leave.

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Danny was being harassed in broad daylight.

He can’t get the guy to take a hint and frankly he’s going to be late for his new job if he can’t get through the door.

Just when he was starting to think that he would have to hit him, a hand gently rested on his shoulder.

“Hey Chum sorry it took me so long to get here but traffic was a killer! Is this man bothering you?”

Turns out His boss Bruce Wayne is actually a nice man.

Too bad Gotham gossips worst than a small town.

Seriously guys, this isn’t funny, it stopped being funny the third time he got picked out of a crowd as the “new Wayne.”

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Fanart for Dad shaped - Chapter 3: Food by Clouds (myheadinthecoudsnotcomingdown) from ao3

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