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This is simply the best thing I’ve ever seen from an NHL Brand Twitter Account™️

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the appeal of buzzfeed unsolved is that it’s not just a wacky believer and a strait-laced skeptic bc the skeptic is much weirder as a person than the believer. obviously the classic scully/mulder dynamic is very entertaining but there’s just something about a man who firmly does not believe in ghosts but does believe that it’s ok to eat a pickle floating in a pond “if it’s fresh”

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trans girls: I think I’ll call myself Samantha

trans guys, wearing Victorian boy clothes: I want to be called Duke Elliot Fernand the Fifth

nonbinary ppl: call me r̵̡̡̢̢͕̭̳̣̺̣̖̒̿̏͑̅̑͜͠o̵̢̳̠͈̮̯̤̗̳̿̀̑̍̈́͝ͅc̶̢̲͇̝̥̥͌͊̾̃̔ͅk̶̛̦̮̖̰̦̠̞̭̜̞̻̤̿̏̍̀͆̄̂̿

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u understand a lot about american suburbs by looking at the front and back of houses

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When draft horsies do that loping run reblog if you agree

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masculinity is a prison, time doesn’t exist, gender isn’t real, virginity is a construct, and Jesus wasn’t white.

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my mom: how was DnD?

me: I made out with a demon.

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the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

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it’s britney bitch

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when did “lmao” become shorthand or w/e for “i’m fucking suffering”

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mooching off the government is a good thing actually. what the fuck else are they gonna do with the money? buy more bombs?

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Bugs Bunny isn’t your conventional trickster god - he doesn’t steal or lie; rather he inflicts on us a societal hubris. He traps us in the rules, conventions and expectations we’ve made. Forcing us to go through the niceties of the barbershop or DMV at the times most inconvenient to us. If we didn’t have these rules - if it was twelve thousand years ago and all we had was a snare and a knife, Bugs would be nothing more than a mortal rabbit. But now we have built so much and he has become a god.  

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a collection of covid-19 tweets, part 4

(the tweet collection series)

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we rlly went from 20gayteen to 20biteen to 20quarantine