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it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.

like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips

because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.

bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.

and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.

these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?

and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.

in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.

it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.

and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.

"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."

"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."

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Oddly shaped lava formations look like a mass of twisted bodies in Hawaii shot by Laszlo Kestay (1996)

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What I WISH so badly people would understand about The Last of Us is that its not about zombies. Its about people. It has always been about people. When i see people being like “why are there ‘politics’ in my zombie show” I want to rip my fucking hair out. Neither the game nor the show are about the fucking zombies. Its about Joel and Ellie. Its about Sarah. Its about Bill and Frank. Its about Riley. Its about Tess. Its about Tommy. The zombies just happen to be there. Its about the human condition and its about how humans continue to love each other and fight for survival even after enormous tragedy. Its about learning to love and care again. Its about loving someone so much you would sacrifice the entire world for them. If you cannot grasp that concept then maybe consuming media isn’t for you.

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Cinediario 2022 - febbraio

Vampyr (1932) Carl Theodor Dreyer

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The Basilica della Santissima Annunziata, Florence, Italy

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all this praise for female actors who have been hamlet onstage. well. what about the praise for ME. who has been hamlet so many times. inside my head

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the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"

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I loved the new line “you have a violent heart.”

Because it’s true, she does, and I’m glad someone said it. And I think a lot of people who love Ellie don’t like to admit this. She didn’t even like the accusation. It doesn’t vilify her, or make her a bad person. She has a darkness in her, but that doesn’t mean the light doesn’t exist. We all know it does because we’ve seen it, and we’ll continue to see it. We all are made up of both, some of us just have a little bit more of one than the other. Thats not an inherently bad thing.

Idk I just really, really loved it. I’m glad they’re exploring her darkness, I think it’s important. Maybe that’s why I loved the second game so much. It made sense to me.

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listen to me. if youre an adult you have the ability to be an unfathomably kind influence on a child. i had a good teacher who let me break down in the hallway for the whole period because he noticed me crying in class, and before that he complimented my writing skills and encouraged me to persue writing. and man ill never forget that teacher as long as i live for even the miniscule acts of kindness. be kind to kids. you never know whats going on that you cant see.

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ok but genuinely actually here’s a helpful tip for people struggling to gauge how bad their physical symptoms are: ask yourself if you would be concerned if someone else told you they were experiencing the same thing. if the answer is yes then yeah. you should apply that same care and concern for yourself. you’re a person too, if it would be a cause for concern for a friend, it should be for you too.

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i’m taking the words “fetish” and “kink” away from the internet until you people learn what sexual attraction is