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sasuhinamonth · 9 months

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Wide Awake At 3 A.M.

Also on AO3. Pairing: Sasuke/Hinata. Summary: Sasuke didn't believe in fate but serendipity seemed to be working overtime when she walked back into his life. Written for SasuHinaMonth 2023 on tumblr. Prompt: Day 27 | "I’ve loved you for a thousand years, I’ll love you for a thousand more.” Rated: T. Words: 9,245. Status: Complete. Author note: I love SasuHina. I don't love writing Sasuke's POV. I think I write SasuHina better from Hinata's perspective. But this had to be Sasuke's perspective so please bare with me. I did my best to make him IC/relatable, even though it's AU. Let me know if I succeeded. :) Also: The italic sections are flashbacks. But don't worry, they're not long sections. For the record: Yotsuya Uemura is a real restaurant but I've only seen it on Google so I don't know if it 100% matches how I describe it here so just pretend it does, okay? Enjoy. ^_^ Tags on AO3: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Coffee Shop AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Light Romance, Romance, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Pining, Pining Uchiha Sasuke, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sasuke has it bad, Past Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

It's late but before the cut-off time, for SasuHinaMonth 2023. Thank-you to @sasuhinamonth for the amazing fest and the chance to write for it. :) .

It was a dreary November morning when Sasuke Uchiha had realised that he was in love with Hinata Hyuuga.

The red-crowned cranes were enjoying the winter in the nearby marshes, visible to the hundreds of students at Konoha High School, the beautiful display of their black and white plumage blending in with the falling snow. The setting was perfect. It was beautiful. Sasuke liked winter best, despite being born in summer. And maybe in spite of it. It was a dreary reminder of the angsty, emo boy within. It was also the only thing worth paying attention to at the school.

Until he started paying attention to her.

She was his best friend’s girlfriend. Hinata had stalked Naruto for years, hiding behind poles and doors and teacher’s desks to avoid being seen; and everyone except for the dobe saw knew she was doing it. All throughout elementary school she was a ghost to the blond idiot; the shadow he saw in the corner of his eye that disappeared the moment he turned around. The sound of a thump, indicating she’d fainted was the only evidence she’d been there because he was too stupid to investigate further.

The three years of middle school went very much the same except Hinata didn’t hide so well anymore. Naruto finally noticed her. She would “eep” and faint again and he just chalked it up to her being the weird kid he’d never understand. He thought she was new to their school so he cut her a break. Having been Naruto’s friend since neither of them could walk, Sasuke could only roll his eyes at his obliviousness.

Then came high school and everything changed. Something had happened during the holidays because, come April, she had grown a spine. She still looked light-headed in Naruto’s presence but didn’t faint. She started talking; responding with small, stuttering sentences when he turned his bright, obnoxious personality on her. She was a person to him now. More than just weird.

Sasuke however, was content to just keep seeing her as the annoying girl who liked the even more annoying boy. Until the annoying people started dating and Naruto began including Hinata in their everyday activities, whether it had anything to do with her or not. He hated it at first but like an extra slice of tomato on his fried egg breakfast, she grew on him. She was a person and had likes and dislikes and hobbies and things that made her laugh or cry. He began to enjoy her voice and found himself looking forward to school. And like the red-crowned cranes that grazed in the freshwater marshes next door to their high school, Hinata became a thing of beauty in Sasuke’s eyes. By virtue of existing in an area that he couldn’t ignore.

And he both loved and hated her for it. Strong feelings were never a good thing, in any direction. Itachi had long since told him that their family had a history of letting emotions rule their lives. It was best to keep them away from the world - Sasuke's words, not his brother's. But there was only so much he could contain and control when it came to her.

And he was the selfish bastard who let it ruin everything.

.:.

Sasuke Uchiha was having multiple problems.

First problem: the hole-in-the-wall cafe he normally frequented at this time of night had closed down without warning for the foreseeable future. It had been the perfect place to hole up in for a few hours while he worked on his laptop, earphones in and fingers dancing over the keyboard. Quiet, no-one staring at him, and with waiters who respected his personal space. Company policy allowed him to stay and work as long as he made it worth their time. Now, he wasn't so sure about this new place.

Second problem: it had taken him the better part of two hours to find this newer restaurant his good-for-nothing friends had recommended to him over WhatsApp after he'd ranted calmly about the predicament, in true Uchiha style. He officially hated that app. His night was wasted walking up alleyways and hopping on buses, with the presumption of a second coming of the holy hole-in-the-wall cafe. Wasted.

Third problem: this new cafe was less hole-in-the-wall and cosy, and more ostentatious with fake wholesomeness. The promise had been for a quiet, out-of-the-way, old-fashioned service. The reality was anything but, at first glance. It was definitely off the beaten path, but he wouldn’t describe it as peaceful or discreet in any way. It made his eye twitch.

Fourth problem: he had nowhere else to go at such short notice and lots of work to catch up on.

The neon signs above the restaurant leered down at him and he did not want to go in there. He wanted to go home, put his feet up, drink his instant coffee and procrastinate as a form of protest. But the sensible side of him had Sasuke moving forward slowly, reminding himself that he couldn't keep putting this particular project. It needed to get done. So what if this restaurant wasn’t the cute little traditional Japanese hole-in-the-wall (or even a sushi or ramen stall) in the middle of bustling Tokyo that he had been promised? He told himself it didn't matter that it was high-end and in the middle of bustling Tokyo. He tried in vain to ignore that it was mocking him; lights blinked at him and he scowled at the ugly sight and he couldn't look more out of place in his casual, everyday clothes. He was surprised a butler-like person hadn't run out to shoo him away.

But this place was the last food establishment along the palisades of this busy Tokyo area that was still seating patrons (the rest were packed to the rafters), and if he went home now it would take over an hour. By the time he got home, Sasuke would be too exhausted to work. It would be annoying. Even more than actually stepping into this poor excuse for a hideaway. Sasuke debated the pros and cons over and over again for a moment before allowing himself to be carried by the line of people waiting to be seated. Decision reluctantly made, Sasuke hugged his four thousand yen Vaio laptop to his chest, waiting his turn to be seated. It looked like the kind of place that required an appointment and a line of lawyers to get in, but a sign to the left distinctly said otherwise. He guessed they would reach their occupancy limit soon and he’d be turned away.

Please turn me away.

It would remove any responsibility on himself to make the decision on whether or not to keep walking forward. He checked his wristwatch as the line moved forward again. It was just after midnight. He sighed, swallowing his anxiety as the hostess bowed to the middle-aged couple in front of him and then extended her arm to them to take their seats.

Last chance to make a break for it.

He really was being a drama queen, but Sasuke couldn't help it. He forced himself to calm down and accidentally caught the stare of the hostess. Her soft but excited voice called over to him a moment later and he stepped forward once more.

"Irasshaimase!"

The restaurant hostess bowed respectfully before looking at him properly. Her double-take, which she covered up with a light cough and a fake smile, made Sasuke’s eye twitch. Again.

Don’t tell me…

“Mr Uchiha?”

Don’t they teach manners in this place?

The woman's face looked flushed with excitement. She’d recognised him. Even without an entourage or sign above his head, Sasuke Uchiha was easily identifiable as such. It was why he preferred quieter places and dark corners. There it was; it was either a stomach ache or an ulcer. It churned inside of him and he winced. The Mr Uchiha title always made him think of his father. He loathed being recognised for his family. He was no longer the idiotic teenager who got off on it. Nursing heartbreak and lashing out had turned him into an arsehole who flaunted his superiority. But not anymore. The way the hostess was raking his body with her eyes was both unprofessional and unwelcome.

Someone behind Sasuke cleared their throat. He was holding up the line. Or rather, she was. Sasuke still had two choices: neither or which would have a happy ending.

What would Itachi do?

He’d be polite and suffer for a few hours to make others feel better.

Idiot.

Sasuke sighed deeply, nodded to the hostess, and grimaced at her juvenile reaction. “Table for one, please. Work table, out of the way.”

Hopefully, she got the hint he’d pay extra for it if necessary. Seemingly gathering herself and remembering she was on the clock, the hostess nodded and bowed again, extending her arm the way she’d done for the couple before him. She took the lead this time, however, making him cringe outwardly again. The table she chose was everything he’d wanted it to be and he offered her a small smile in gratitude. Thankfully, she didn’t make a big deal of it this time, giving him a much shorter once-over before politely leaving him alone.

His table was almost like a cubicle which suited him just fine. From ramen restaurants to Yakitori and Kare Raisu, he’d tried all the ones that Tokyo had to offer. All the good ones anyway. No matter the setup, privacy was always his top priority. He settled down, placing his laptop on the table and his bag on the chair next to him, leaving space for food and a drink. Already his mind was going over the project he had to finish tonight; Sasuke had a few hours before the final bus of the night would be running through these parts. But if he had any trouble, an Uber wouldn't be a problem. Not preferable, but not really a problem.

But first things first.

There were waitresses taking orders as well as a front counter but Sasuke didn't want to deal with either one of them and instead chose to use the QR code on the table to order on his phone. The first time he’d heard of this method of ordering it had kind of freaked him out initially, but since it would help him avoid having to interact with a potential fangirl masquerading as a professional waitress (for longer than necessary, anyway) or stand behind people or in front of someone with no respect for his personal space he would do it. It cut out the middleman, so to speak, and allowed him to get down to the important business of the night.

As he waited, Sasuke woke up his laptop and opened Atom. After about five minutes, and as expected, his drink came first. Sasuke always wondered about this; was the drink delivered first to keep the customer from leaving during the extended wait time for the food or so that when he did finally eat, he would feel compelled to order another drink to wash it down with? Or some combination of both?

The sounds of the restaurant blurred into the background and became white noise as Sasuke worked, glasses on and eyes glued to the CSS Script. He only knew it only took forty-five minutes for his meal to be delivered because he checked the time before and after. When the Okonomiyaki was finally placed in front of him and the aroma invaded his senses his stomach growled. Sasuke nodded to the waitress as she bowed to him, a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks before leaving with a Cheshire grin on her face. He just rolled his eyes. Sasuke had just finished cutting up his Okonomiyaki, preparing to eat it with chopsticks in one hand so he could continue working when something familiar caught his eye.

He didn't believe in fate but serendipity seemed to be working overtime tonight.

His heart was racing, belied by the calm on his face as he almost choked on his saliva. Sasuke coughed a few times before reaching to down the last of his ice water. He cleared his throat and looked back over at Hinata Hyuuga. Even after the passage of all these years, he would recognize that long dark hair of hers anywhere (even tied back in the mandatory style for workers of this restaurant). This entire time, in the corner of his eye, and in another seated area, had been an achingly familiar form; those slim but not stick-skinny hips with legs that rested with knees turned slightly inward, and breasts that screamed for attention without being obnoxiously in his face. Yes, he remembered the curves and the tones of the body that came with being from a martial arts enthusiastic family.

The one he'd fantasised about like a love-sick puppy when his hormones still ruled his life.

He inhaled deeply, absentmindedly stabbing his Okonomiyaki with the end of a chopstick, then let his breath out in a shuddering sigh. The sweet, innocent face that had haunted his dreams until he'd succeeded in forcing his school memories into a mental box labelled "do not open, even in the event of an apocalypse" was turned to a customer but he could still clearly spot the trademark lavender-white Hyuuga eyes. They lit up with her smile.

Sasuke didn't care that it was unbecoming of him and continued to stare as he inattentively picked at the Okonomiyaki before grabbing a bite-sized portion of the now-diced savoury dish and shoving it in his mouth. The cursor at the end of the last line of code he typed blinked at him. He ignored it. And he paid no attention to the fact that his glasses had slid down his nose an inch; they were for reading on a computer screen and had made the near-distant objects fuzzy, which he blamed for not having noticed her sooner.

Her presence begged more questions than he was willing to ask himself. But at the very least, what the fuck was the oldest daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga doing working in the service industry? It was beneath the uptight clan. He knew Hinata was not stuck up like her father but surely there were more Hyuuga-like jobs she could do? He remembered a girl who was determined to follow her own path but constantly worried about disappointing her father. Sasuke had presumed she'd find something that filled both desires. Not that there was anything wrong with the retail and hospitality industries. He'd had his own stint in them, so he knew they weren't the jobs of losers like his own father had kept saying years ago.

I'm just very confused how she got here.

This was not a future she'd contemplated and he'd know: she'd once spent an afternoon indulging Naruto in the topic when the blond idiot was whining about having failed the standardised test to get into the university of his choice. She's humoured him with all the alternative career paths, and this wasn't one they'd decided on. But that was life, he guessed, even though it made him painfully curious as to why she wasn't working as one of the many father-approved ideas she'd mentioned as she'd apparently planned.

Sasuke’s stomach churned and did somersaults as he watched her, unable to look away.

What is she doing here?

Sasuke cleared his throat and shook his head, forcing himself to look away; though she was still there in his peripherals and his traitorous eyes desperately soaked her in, from afar. He tried to focus on his work, finishing off the black coffee he'd ordered, to wash down the Okonomiyaki he'd consumed without realising during his staring spell.

I'm as bad as those fangirls.

He tried, he really did. But nothing was working. Sasuke couldn't stop wondering about her. He hadn’t thought of Hinata in a long while. Years. No, not in a long time. He’d successfully purged her from his thoughts. From his wants. From his needs. Buried her down in his mind, underneath the childhood trauma and repressed heartbreak. It had been almost like a breakup; Sasuke had gone through a period of emotional upheaval and consumed hobbies and alcohol in order to forget her. He’d moped and sulked and all those cliche things, in his own way. She was behind him, and not in the way he wanted her to be.

Sasuke had been on the road to recovery and was able to put that part of his life into a locked box in his head.

Until now.

Maybe she didn’t remember him. Maybe he could finish his work and she’d never even seen him. One could only hope it would be that easy. But no. He couldn’t risk it. He had to leave. Sasuke almost packed up his stuff and left right then and there. He had no desire to play catch-up after all this time. To hear about how good things had been since she'd lived her life with the dobe. Jealousy burned in his gut and he grabbed the carry bag for his laptop by the straps, clenching his fist over it tightly. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to force the old but familiar feelings away. He'd done such a good job at ignoring them for so long. How could he possibly have predicted this strong of a reaction after all these years? Weren't high school love interests meant to dwindle over the years? Why the fuck did he still feel this way?

His self-flagellation was interrupted by an angelic sound. Her laughter. The melodic sound drifted over to his table and he paused. His heart was racing once more and his hands were clammy. Even now, five years later, he was still such a sucker for her. Where was the dobe? Had they married? Did he even want to know? There was a reason he didn't know. He remembered Hinata as a stuttering but determined, beautiful mess. But now, looking at her confidently interacting with strangers like she was born to it, he felt a warmth spread through his body. It wasn’t the coffee working its way through his system. This was different.

And it doesn't even matter. She wouldn't care.

Resigning himself to the inevitable, Sasuke packed up his laptop and left the restaurant without looking back. Except for that moment when he could've sworn she was looking around as if just realising she'd forgotten something. She didn't see him pause and gaze at her one last time. But those distinctive eyes seemingly searched for him anyway. In his dreams.

He hadn’t seen her since high school. He was never supposed to see her ever again.

.:.

Nobody ever accused Sasuke Uchiha of being magnanimous, sweet, or kind-hearted in any way. They didn’t confuse him for his brother no matter how much they might look alike. While Itachi was off helping the local homeless center and being the perfect Uchiha heir, Sasuke was smoking pot - or whatever had been shoved under his nose this week - and availing himself of his fangirls. Everyone came to assume he was the troubled child who acted out because he didn't get the attention from his parents that he wanted. Nobody ever accused him of being fair and altruistic to others.

Except her.

She got in his head. Hinata Hyuuga thought that because he was Naruto’s best friend that he should be hers as well. She was adamant but gentle in her attempts to woo him into her good graces. As though friendship was the most wonderful thing in the world. He wasn't an arsehole, not really. Sasuke had a heart. He just kept it hidden away. As far as he was concerned, getting emotional was embarrassing. It was for children . So pushing her away wasn't just about avoiding spending time with the girlfriend of his best friend, who he happened to be in love with, but also to keep himself from doing anything stupid.

He thought he could do it. It only took him a year to fall in love. They had two more years of high school left together. He had to do it. His father would never understand why he had to switch schools so suddenly. He wouldn't care. It would be unthinkable. Rumours, lies, or truth, would follow him and make Fugaku look bad. He was not an understanding nor forgiving man. Sasuke had to pretend: for his own sanity. Hinata was his new best friend.

So he let her greet him at the bus stop after school. He let her hug him "hello" her breasts pressing up against him every time. And on the rainy days when he was feeling particularly friend-like about the whole thing he let her borrow his second, backup umbrella. He'd started bringing a spare one because she seemed to have no idea how to check for the weather. She'd thanked him and then started humming.

"What are you doing out here, in the rain?" He'd ask her every time.

“Waiting on Naruto-kun,” she would say, and he'd go quiet to avoid hearing her gushing about the dobe in question.

That was their routine in the rainy season, which he'd grown to love almost as much as her. Except for the one time he forgot, it seemed the gods had answered his unasked question on how to change up this habit and Sasuke genuinely forgot both umbrellas. And she remembered. She'd remembered. And it kind of killed him inside. She offered to him and he was tempted to ignore her. To start off this change with abruptness and see if he could break her into going along with it. But he couldn't.

He sighed and took the umbrella gently from her hand, making sure to avoid brushing against her hand. When she shifted her hold on it, their skin grazed and she blushed at him. He dared not look her in the eye after that. Those soft, curious eyes were boring into him and he knew what she was thinking. The poor rich boy that she wanted to be okay with her relationship with his friend; why was he so rude? What did she have to do to help him be okay with her?

He didn’t know why it mattered to her.

Sasuke didn’t bother saying, “thank-you” as he stepped out into the rain and walked away with her umbrella without looking back.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to run away. And she let him go.

.:.

That weak, love-sick part of him was back with a vengeance.

Sasuke was determined to return his life to the humdrum existence it had been before she’d walked back into it, unknowingly throwing him into emotional chaos. He couldn't go back to his usual hole-in-the-wall but there were others out there. Others he'd walked past that night due to laws involving occupancy limitations; and a festival at the time, he'd realised in hindsight, which explained a lot. There were a number of small hidey-holes he could disappear into. They matched his aesthetics better and really, it was for the best. He'd avoided her for five years, never googling either of them, and never interacting with anyone who used to know anyone he'd gone to school with. He could move on to another cafe restaurant. He tried them all.

But none of them felt right anymore.

So, Sasuke gave up, just staying at home to work and doing his best to recreate the coffee shop ambiance in his kitchen. He threw open windows and let the noise of his neighbourhood blast into his home to simulate the busy Tokyo Yotsuya Arakicho district. His favourite pastime was walking. He normally walked for miles every day. He decided to double that and start earlier. It woke him up better than coffee some days. It envigorated him in a way that sex hadn't for a while. And it gave him time to think about his day while also distracting him enough to not let his mind wander too far.

But it wasn’t the same. There was something missing. He knew what it was and now that he'd gotten a sneak peek the idea wouldn't leave him alone. It left a gaping hole in his psyche. Therefore, his resolve to avoid Yotsuya Uemura Restaurant and the serendipitous siren only lasted a week. He couldn’t help himself. Like an idiot teenager in love and doped up on hormones, he lay in bed at night remembering her smile, her laugh, and replaying every moment of his up-to-date memory of her in vivid detail. Sasuke could distract himself for a while. With both his imagination and the cold comfort of his hand. But ultimately, his own fixation was his undoing.

He couldn't go on like this without closer. There was no avoiding her now. He was going back.

.:.

She was looking at him.

I should’ve known that would eventually happen.

So why wasn't he more prepared for it? His heart skipped a beat and if he didn't have such good equilibrium he might've stumbled. The hostess was leading him to his table - which turned out to be the same one as before - and he'd searched the busy restaurant with his eyes, hoping to spot her sooner this time. He hadn't expected for their eyes to lock on one another, and especially not this early into his night. He also hadn't expected the initial shock on her face to drop into a soft smile.

He forced himself to look away as the hostess drew his attention to his table, but the weight of Hinata's stare remained. He unpacked his laptop as he'd done last time, trying very hard not to look over and give the impression he was desperately seeking her attention. He forgot to pull out his phone to make his order via the QR code and instead just slowly got comfortable; or as comfortable as he could, knowing she was still watching him. But eventually, he couldn't help himself and Sasuke looked up. She turned away immediately, clearly embarrassed at having been caught looking at him. He allowed himself a small smile at that.

And the weight of her stare left him.

He swallowed heavily as he mentally berated himself. He glanced over at her again just as she looked back for a few moments seeming to remember she had a job to do.

As do I.

One of the waitresses for his section walked by and without thinking, Sasuke raised a hand to grab her attention. “Sumimasen.”

The woman bowed to him. Hyperaware of the Hyuuga still visible from across the confines of the restaurant, he raised an eyebrow at the silent waitress who was staring at him, thoroughly nonplussed. She bowed again, said, “shou shou omachi kudasai,” and then rushed off, leaving him feeling childish.

She hadn't taken his order.

It only occurred to him once he was alone again what he'd just done. He spared an unimpressed glare at the back of Hinata's head as she happily took the order of a small family. She was throwing him off. Next thing he'd know, Sasuke would be singing and dancing out his love confessions. He snorted at himself. At least now he could use the QR code instead. Maybe. He didn't make a move to grab his phone, instead frowning after the waitress who'd disappeared into the back. This was more nerve-wracking than he'd anticipated and Sasuke debated just packing up his things and walking out. He looked over and noticed Hinata had disappeared as well. He breathed a sigh of relief, despite himself. He just needed a few moments to get his act together before deciding what to do next. He opened Atom on his laptop and began the arduous process of inline coding, occasionally glancing to the side without moving his head, to see if she'd come back out onto the floor. She was still in the back, it seemed. As he typed in a few line breaks, his mind drifted to Hinata's reactions to him. Perhaps she was as curious as he was. Maybe his arrival had stirred something in her too.

He stops working when he notices her move onto the floor, now weaving her way between tables. His breath hitches when it becomes obvious she's headed directly for his table. He almost gasps out loud when she stops right in front of him. Hinata blinked a few times before addressing him.

“S-Sas–” She cut herself off and cleared her throat and then bowed slightly; not too low and not too high. “Have you decided what you w-want to order?”

Do I make you nervous?

Somehow that possibility gives him courage. Maybe it's because that's the part of his personality he likes best: making others uncomfortable. Even Hinata. He likes that he has an effect on her. How insignificant would he be if she was apathetic to his presence? Sasuke cleared his throat and ordered a black coffee and onigiri with a side of kimchi salad, tells HInata, “I don’t like beans” and silently bemoans his inability to not look like some kind of an idiot in front of her. She just smiles, all professional despite the twitch of her fingers that told him she ached to grab something. She hesitated for a moment, her eyes raking in his form and Sasuke stiffened at the perusal.

Why is she doing that?

And then it was all over and Hinata Hyuuga was moving away from his table, presumably heading out the back to pass on his order. She didn't stop or slow down.

Fuck.

There were so many questions in his head and he'd heard them all before. He can’t concentrate on his work. Sasuke stares at the screen as he waits for his food, his fingers poised over the keyboard and his eyes unmoving. He lived in a surreal world. Everything was happening so fast. But unlike the last time he came here, he had it coming. He'd hoped to get some answers but it felt too weird to try to talk to her, not just because she was actually working and it would be unprofessional of her. Sasuke blinked heavily, checked the time, and then his notes and references before returning his fingers to the letters on his keyboard. Letters, brackets, parentheses, and integers. He pursed his lips, trying to focus. He managed to get some work done in the time it took for Hinata to come back. He wasn't sure why she was serving in this section, but his brain refused to care to figure that out.

She stood in front of him, clearly unsure about how to talk to him, but she carried on nonetheless.

“Douzo.”

“Doumo.”

Sasuke . raised an eyebrow at her when she looked stunned that he'd replied. He supposed it was strange to hear him being polite. As Hinata bowed again, hesitated for a moment (again), and turned to leave, Sasuke inhaled deeply, just watching her go. He sat back and looked down at his hands, which had started shaking slightly. He fisted his trousers to stop them. This had been a mistake but there was nothing else to do right now but just eat his food. He ate his onigiri like a crazy person; with a fork. He waited for the rice and seaweed to stick better so it wasn’t messy but instead of picking it up with his hands, as it was designed to be eaten, he jammed the fork into it and dumped it on his kimchi salad. Sasuke forced himself to return to focusing on his work, digging holes in the onigiri and salad every few minutes, taking a few sips of his coffee, and scowling.

All awhile he was very aware of the lavender-white eyes watching him from the other side of Yotsuya Uemura Restaurant.

.:.

Sasuke returned to the restaurant but Hinata never came to get his order again. And for that, he was grateful. He could continue to ignore her, do his work until the late hours, reorder something to eat or drink every now and then (using the damn damned QR-code instead to avoid any more awkward moments), and pretend he was still in that hole-in-the-wall, that had started this mess by closing down in the first place. Two hours of peace. And then 3 A.M. would roll around and he’d start packing up slowly, languidly, as though his life didn't depend on leaving before she clocked out and got it into her head to come to say "hello" again. And despite his bladder kicking him from the inside because of all the coffee he'd avoid the restroom and call an Uber because Tokyo bus lines had stopped by then.

And he’d still be wide awake.

He got into this habit and it served him well for four weeks. A month of the now strangely alluring atmosphere of Yotsuya Uemura Restaurant. It still felt weird that this was the best place to go to where his brain would actually focus on work, even with her there. But he got complacent with their unspoken rule of ignoring each other. At least he presumed they had an agreement. It would be typical of her to break that non-agreement right when he'd let his guard down.

Sasuke spotted her heading toward him after his final cup of black coffee of the night. He licked his lips and put the cup down, watching her with an almost detached fascination. It was a strange but welcomed feeling. And suddenly she was standing in front of him with only the table and his belongings between them. She didn't speak immediately, licking her lips in a similar manner to what he'd just done. She started twiddling her thumbs and a rose-coloured flush spread across her cheeks as he continued to stare silently back at her.

Why is she here?

Her shift had clearly ended; she held a bento bag over her shoulder while the standard apron uniform and her name tag were notably absent. She had to be on her way out.

So why is she here?

Maybe she thought... no, he couldn't think of a reason. Well, perhaps the kind girl he used to know actually had unfinished business with him. Whatever that might be. He debated leaving early; his eyes went to the time on his laptop, noting it was only ten minutes before 3 A.M. so it wouldn't be completely out of character. As much as he enjoyed the view, he was not enjoying the anticipation. But when she smiled at him, in that warm, soft way he remembered, Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Sasuke.”

Her voice was melodic and he found himself leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands, entranced. And no suffix? Interesting. He remembered Hinata as one who’d been a stickler for politeness. How times had changed.

He nodded shortly to her. “Hinata.”

As though that had been permission, she slid into the chair opposite him. But the bento bag remained on her shoulder. “So you do remember m-me?”

Sasuke could only nod, his confusion masked by feigned indifference.

“I wanted to come over to say ‘hi’ s-sooner,” she said, her smile now more timid as she laced her fingers together. “The timing just never seemed r-right.”

Sasuke leaned back in his chair, forcing himself to calm down. He could do this (just this once). It was like riding a bicycle. Except he'd never actually learned to do that.

I’m definitely going to have to find another coffee restaurant now.

He had no idea what possessed him to continue coming here. This was just a recipe for disaster. It was far too awkward and he had work to do. No, wait, work was over. Or just about. Now he had to go home. Still, he didn’t have time to hash things out with old friends or crushes from high school. Memories belonged in the past. But he couldn’t help himself; a part of Sasuke still needed to know. He had to know. He had to. Or so he kept telling himself. There was only pain and heartache in memories of watching Hinata being happy with Naruto. There was no ring on her finger but not every married couple did that. Or she could’ve removed a ring while working to avoid losing it. There were a million different reasons she looked single.

How does one look single, really?

“How’s the dobe?”

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Other than the obvious.

Fighting an internal battle on whether or not to slap himself, Sasuke tried to focus on pretending he wasn't fighting with himself. He didn’t really want to know how Hinata's life with Naruto was. His mouth just seemed to have a mind of its own. Sasuke could imagine all kinds of things she might say and how he might be doing. He didn't need confirmation. As she squirmed in her seat, he blinked slowly. A hard swallow was the only sign that this conversation was making him uncomfortable.

Her smile was sad. “I wouldn’t know.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened. Why wouldn’t she know? Why wouldn't she... And then suddenly his stupid mind clicked all the pieces into place. “You’re not with him anymore?”

She shook her head.

“I thought you were looking forward to the 2.5 kids with him.”

Hinata sighed and stopped fiddling with her hands. “I’ve grown up.”

He gave her a quick appraisal, without lingering on any part of her body. Hopefully, it didn’t come off as invasive or creepy. But his mind was whirring. He nodded absentmindedly, but his heart was pounding against his rib cage. Dare he ask if she’d found someone else? Dare he poke the sleeping dragon?

“Are you–”

“I’m… s-single.”

Was she blushing? Sasuke couldn’t stop the smirk from gracing his face if he tried. The muscles responsible for twisting the side of his mouth into a smirk felt stiff though. He suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted from his soul. His body was lighter and his cluttered mind cleared. He sighed in contentment. At least for that part of her revelation.

A different kind of anxiety now slammed his heart against his chest.

They sat in awkward silence as Sasuke ordered a new, different drink. The doors would be closing soon so he had to do this quickly. When the milkshake came, he took a sip and then pushed it lightly, in her direction. If he drank any more coffee there would be no going to sleep tonight but this was too sweet for his tastes, normally. He already desperately needed to use the toilets. Unfortunately, it wasn’t socially acceptable to ask complete strangers or staff to watch his stuff while he used the facilities, so Sasuke would usually be gone by now, on his way home, and to that sweet porcelain of relief.

He eyed Hinata tentatively. “You seem different from the shy girl who always followed Naruto around.”

She reached out and ran a delicate finger along the condensation on the glass tumbler that held the liquid temptation. “I’ve grown up.”

Yes. And no stuttering this time. But some things clearly still stayed the same: she still loved strawberry milkshakes. (And this one had a cinnamon stick in it to boot.) She was eyeing off his drink in a slightly ravenous way but the nervous habits he remembered from high school were also still present; she was twiddling her thumbs and clearly too polite to just take his drink. These were parts of the reason he’d fallen so heavily for her in the first place. She was adorable in her weird mix of social graces and anxiety. He knew a little about social anxiety himself. He’d never cared much for how others perceived him, but adulthood had taught him some hard-learned lessons on why it would never get him anywhere in life to carry on as though nobody else mattered.

Yet so much about Sasuke had not changed at all.

Still a selfish bastard.

He wanted and he got. At least where it was possible.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at Hinata in what he hoped was a challenging look. She sat up straighter and licked her lips before her eyes dropped to his drink in understanding. He remembered from his few years in this industry just how ragged one could feel at the end of a long shift. He hadn't had to worry about the nine-to-five bullshit for so long but some things were just unforgettable. This drink was an offer more than a challenge: was she thirsty enough to take him up on it? How much had she really changed? She'd never have taken his drink back in school. Now she had an open but silent invitation.

Hinata pulled the drink toward herself, stopping it in the middle of the table before leaning over it to take the rim of the glass between her lips. He watched in erotic fascination as she lifted the glass and pursed her lips against it. He fixated on her mouth as she gulped it down. His eyes were drawn to every distinct and enthralling move she made. Not to mention how when she’d leaned over it was too bad her uniform wasn’t more revealing but it did give his inner pervert ideas.

"Watch my stuff?" He asked and she distractedly nodded, continuing to enjoy her drink.

He decided the strawberry milkshake was a fair price to pay in return for her watching his belongings. It was her fault he wasn’t on his way home yet, after all. Sasuke didn’t like public toilets but with the very single and beautiful Hyuuga sitting in front of him, smacking her lips together after a long guzzle of her favourite drink, and her eyes fluttering closed in pleasure, he found he didn’t care about that. He was just glad he hadn't run away every chance he got, since the first time he entered Yotsuya Uemura Restaurant.

When he returned she was still sitting in her chair but had angled her body to peak at what he had on his screen, her delicate eyebrows raised; she was either surprised or impressed.

Yes, he was very glad indeed that they were both still here.

.:.

It became a habit. Sasuke would arrive around midnight, take his usual spot in the darkest corner of the brightly lit restaurant, order using the QR code, and then unpack his laptop. He would spend the first forty-five minutes sipping on his water (or black tea; either of which would later be replaced by black coffee anyway) and working on his project design and immersing himself in every edit. When the food came he would pick at it while still working and occasionally peeking over the top of his laptop as Hinata worked in the distance. The way her fringe bobbed as she smiled brightly at a customer, even if they were monopolising her time with their order. He found a new appreciation in just gazing at her.

And as was a habit, Sasuke would be finished with his food within the hour, ordering the first black coffee of the night. If he was still hungry, he’d grab a side salad or Spicy Ahi Poke around two o’clock, when his battery would start to wind him down, even with the coffee. Web coding was a far slower and more tedious skill set than most people realised. Depending on the job, it could take him months to finish, and these weren’t the cheap, easy pages of online website builders that anyone from his grandmother and borderline illiterate next-door neighbour could use to create their own site. He tested his static preview several times before deciding to stop and stretch out his tired muscles.

Then the cherry on the top: Hinata would clock off at 3 A.M. and join him at his table. A new strawberry milkshake bribe and she would heroically protect his belongings as he used the toilets and when he returned, she would regale him with stories about her family and friends while asking him questions about his own. He knew the shy, bumbling Hinata of his youth was not completely gone when he asked her more personal questions and she flushed; a lovely shade of pink he had never thought to cherish until now. Sasuke did not ask about past relationships because he was enjoying pretending she hadn’t been with anyone since Naruto. She did hint to it a few times but he shut that down quickly, not wanting to hear about her dating other men.

And in kind, it would be hypocritical of him to talk about his own sex life. Not that she would care about that.

It wasn’t the healthiest take on relationships, but it was what he had to offer.

After a week of this habit, Sasuke was disappointed to see the weekend painfully arrive. It meant her days off and he couldn’t bring himself to go to the restaurant knowing she wouldn’t be there. He almost asked her if they could meet up on the weekend but didn’t want it to feel like he was being needy. Or coming across too strong. The weekend dragged on with familial obligations and friends who were determined to get him drunk or laid. Or both. He ignored them all. Then Monday came again and Sasuke spent the day the way he spent every weekday since Hinata came back into his life; anticipating the night time.

What a boring life I lead.

He’d sunk low. Sasuke had spent years being content with his romantic isolation. No-one, no matter how many times he dated, could ever compare to the first person he’d fallen in love with. But he’d been fine with that. Until now. Now he was looking forward to being close to a beautiful woman who didn't annoy him. The very person he could never completely move on from.

Though he was scared at the thought of asking her if he was the only one feeling anything.

The second week of this habit changed everything. He was waking up with a smile on his face. He was going to bed content and peaceful. It wasn’t like Sasuke had never looked forward to things; he anticipated the weekend, the end of the night after another one of his mother’s forced family get together’s, the change in the balance of his bank account after finishing a project for a client. Even the occasional date or romp in the sheets (he used to indulge in) allowed him to release the stress of the week even though they were always temporary fixes. And of course, running. Sitting at a computer for hours didn’t do his body any good and he had gotten into the habit of jogging for over an hour every early in the mornings.

Habits.

But it was time for this new one to break. Because he hadn’t done much other than jog or work since remeeting Hinata. He needed more from her, not just the moments so late in the night that it would be inappropriate to invite her back to his apartment. And he needed to know that this was okay with her. He’d lost out years ago but there was no Naruto-dobe to get in the way this time. He wasn’t the hot-blooded and assertive type. He didn't get riled up and led on. But that was another habit he was intent on breaking - for this instance, at least.

He “hn’d” his way through his first night of the week with her before becoming more obvious. He didn't have much experience flirting anyway. When he passed the milkshake to her his fingers lingered and he stared into her eyes, delighting in the way her breath hitched and her lips parted. She would place a shaky hand on the glass tumbler, wrapping her hand around it delicately and waiting for him to let go. his fingers would deliberately brush against hers and she swallowed heavily. The dynamic had changed. She would drink with less vigour but still finish every last drop.

They shared his side of hot potato chips, which were always too much for him anyway, and he was reminded of those cartoon dogs who shared pasta. The urge to kiss Hinata would resurface whenever his mind drifted and he had to push that down. For now.

“I think it's time to leave,” she said, blushing slightly. "They're closing up now."

They were indeed moving furniture and changing signs.

“Hn.”

Hinata was bold when it mattered; she reached over with a napkin and wiped at the side of his mouth. Her shy smile grew wider when he didn’t move away and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. His lips parted and his eyes dropped to her mouth when she licked her lips. Was the air dry for her too? He felt like a sudden heat wave had set on them both. But when she was done wiping at the sauce on his mouth the moment was over. She pulled back and averted her eyes nervously.

Maybe she’d been expecting me to kiss her?

He had no idea. But it couldn't hurt to find out. Sasuke started the habit of packing up his belongings as Hinata sighed in resignation and slowly stood.

Once upon a time, when he didn't have a choice - when his life wasn’t his to dictate - Sasuke had bemoaned his future. Now he realised he was regaining something inside himself that he’d never known was actually possible.

A future with her.

.:.

The final nail in this coffin was a wake-up call.

His friendship with Naruto was ruined. When she touched the idiot, Sasuke imagined she was touching him. When she kissed the dobe, Sasuke imagined those were his lips she worshipped. Her hands were on his, her body pressed against him; her moans, his groans, and their pleasure. Sasuke was plagued with images and what-ifs. Naruto had his future with Hinata figured out. Sasuke's life was over. It didn't matter that he loved them both, even though in different ways. It only mattered that every smile was killing him. Sasuke didn't believe in real souls, not really. But if he did have one, the other half of it was being torn away from him.

Naruto asked Hinata to marry him in the middle of the high school graduation ceremony, disrupting the flow like the baka he was. And while the principal yelled at him, the blond made a public menace of himself as the school graduates rallied to his romantic gesture.

Everyone but Sasuke. And nobody noticed.

He couldn’t handle it, seeing them together all lovey-dovey and declaring they were meant to be. The whole school cheering. The lights glared down and closed in on him as his vision blurred. It was too much, even for him, Mr. Ice-box anal arsehole with a reputation for not giving a shit. He should’ve seen it coming but until Hinata said, “yes” and let Naruto sweep her into the most affectionate and disgusting kiss that Sasuke had ever seen, he hadn’t thought it would happen. It couldn’t happen. She was better than this. The fates were kinder than this. Naruto was notoriously slow on the uptake. Surely he would be too lazy or unreliable to think of such a permanent change in his life.

But apparently not anymore. He was serious. They were engaged. They would be getting married.

And all Sasuke wanted to do was scream in frustration and rage. He was done putting up with this! It felt selfish to do but he had to. There was no emotional outburst - that would come later, in the privacy of his own home - no. He was a picture of calm as he started to back away from his cheering graduation class. He took one last look at the chaotic scene Naruto had caused, snatched up his own diploma, and turned away. He was soon to be enrolled at Tohoku University. He was moving away from this backwater town. Far away from everyone he knew. To Tokyo.

Alone.

Sasuke left all of his friends behind and cut off all contact, ignoring their attempts to find him. And hers.

And he never saw his best friend again.

.:.

She tasted like strawberries and lavender.

Sasuke finally broke his habit three weeks after their fated reunion. (Now that he was contemplating that maybe fate was a thing.) Packing his laptop away, he’d reached for a second bag that had been sitting on the chair next to him. He’d known it was likely to rain so Sasuke brought two compact umbrellas with him with plans for them both to get used. He’d contemplated just bringing one large, oversized umbrella but didn’t want to make Hinata awkward with the presumptuous closeness. She seemed skittish with surprises. So now she stood with him under the awning that decorated the front of the restaurant and he was suddenly very grateful for bad yet predictable weather.

“Sasuke?”

He looked down at the woman in his arms. Gone was the facade that this was anything other than a blossoming relationship. He'd taken her hand and stood proud as a peacock when she squeezed his hand in return. She let him pull her closer, their umbrellas overlapping above their heads as they stared into each other's eyes. She'd let him lean in closer and duck his head under her umbrella to breathe in her sudden intake of air. She was anticipating this too, he knew. This situation was familiar, though he was determined to have it play out differently. Maybe she didn’t remember that day in the rain, so long ago when he'd wanted to kiss her after she'd let him use her umbrella. She’d never tracked him down to get it back and he'd never offered it back. Or maybe he’d intimidated her too much for her to retrieve it.

“Hinata…” His free hand cupped her face and he took in every inch of her face, his eyes memorising every detail. The flush of her skin, the plumpness of her lips, the way she tilted toward him instinctively. “I want to kiss you.”

What was it his father had once said? Never ask for permission. Sasuke knew Fugaku’s approach to women was toxic. His mother’s issues were proof of that. But there was a little part of himself that had wanted to just take those succulent-looking lips between his teeth before she had the chance to pull away. However, he respected her too much for that. He needed to know she wanted this too.

Hinata smiled and nodded. “Okay. I want to kiss you, too.”

(No more stuttering.)

And that was his permission. When he lowered his mouth to hers he was already slanting his head in anticipation for the tilt of their faces as they embraced each other. Full-mouthed, energetic, uncompromising; he grasped her almost too tightly as her parted lips allowed him entry. Sasuke devoured her mouth. Their eyes closed, his body pressed so intimately against hers; the pouring rain faded into the background. There was only her. Only them. And when she moaned and returned his vigour, he finally felt like he'd come home.

.:.

#SHMonth2023 #SasuHinaMonth2023 #SasuHina #sasuhina fanfic #day 27

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