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Context: the party of the pink bear is at a tavern looking for info. The party is in a different world from their own, so they have no basic knowledge of the lands layout or how status or politics works as of yet. The paladin approaches three stuck up nobles and imitates their snobbish way of speaking in order to be accepted as one of their own.

Noble: “Oh, how marvellous to run into someone of TASTE around these parts, wouldn’t you agree?” Paladin: “quite so, quite so, Ms…?” DM: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh shit let me just real quick, uhhh, how about Esmeralda… von…. Koppenspiel? KOPPENSPIEL yes Koppenspiel: “Esmeralda von Koppenspiel, pleasure to make your acquaintance, my dear-” Paladin (ooc): will you ever be prepared for a session? DM (ooc): for all you know, she has memory issues. … Also, no. Koppenspiel: “So where, pray tell, do you hail from, my dear? I cannot imagine you being from around such a boorish and crude place as this…” Paladin: “Oh, you’ve probably never heard of it… its a small country to the east. Anyway-” DM: Roll Deception, dude. Paladin: *crit fails, of course* DM: The funniest shit is that you have 7+ charisma modifier. Rolling at least a 13 would most often get you where you wanna go- Paladin (ooc): THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS DM: the nobles don’t believe you and look in between themselves in confusion. Koppenspiel: “… surely, you jest? There are but two kingdoms on this continent, and they are currently at war… If you do not hail from OUR land, then that must mean you are-” Paladin: “OH NO NONO no I’m not your enemy- I’m just like you, merely one look should be able to tell you that, no?” DM: … Roll for it. Paladin: *rolls 13, amazingly enough, just after the DM named that number* DM: so you’ve gained the nobles liking, but they still don’t know where you come from, and that’s sorta a big deal to them- Paladin: “My dearest von Koppenspiel. I did not wish to be rude earlier… but are you quite serious when you say you do not know there are THREE countries on this continent?” *DM and the rest of the party goes wild* DM: I’m telling you right now, dude. This is a HIGH AS FUCK deception roll. This would be like telling an Australian there’s a second fucking country on their entire continent.“ Paladin: *fucking rolls a Nat 20. Cus of course they did. and everyone fucking loses it* DM: von Koppenspiel is blushing. She cannot believe she went through her entire life not knowing of a third country. Her companions turn on her and claim to know all too well where this country is. …. *starts typing on computer* Paladin (ooc): what are you typing? DM (ooc): I’m googling if it’s possible to hack roll20 and manipulate the rolls Paladin: “you simply MUST come visit me in the summer, it is simply BEAUTIFUL then!”

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I wish I was black so I could be offended

Jess Bryce 

#Stupidquotes

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You look nice, for a Microwave

Alex Scafe

#stupidquotes

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im screaming i was playing civ V and there was a little island only 1 tile big that only had foxes on it

little fox island

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me: hello darkness my old friend

darkness: do i know u

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Re-meme’d

Me

me: *sees anything* me: me

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Re-meme’d

How far nickelodeon has fallen

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Re-meme’d

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Re-meme’d

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Lugin

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Re-meme’d

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“I spend a reasonable amount of money on Magic cards” said no Magic player ever.

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Shots Fired

Audio Mistake