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#12 The Message in the Hollow Oak

@1972 Dammit, we're back to "reddish-blond" again. It's like the editors keep saying "Stop trying to make 'titian' work."

Nancy of course has a flashlight in her purse so she at least doesn't have to wait in the dark. Once she is rescued she meets Eloise's detective friend Boyce Osborne or Boycey as he prefers.

The detective was of medium height. Although he was rugged looking, the man had a very kind face and Nancy thought his smile was enchanting. How different from many comic strip detectives!

Boycey tells Nancy about the mystery he and his Murder Club of detective friends recently failed to solve. It involved a "French missionary from Canada named Père François" who traveled around Illinois converting the Algonquins until they were attacked by the Iroquois in 1680. Père François was found and managed to croak out "Valuable message in hollow oak" before he died.

Boycey and his gang discovered a hollow oak with a lead plate in it that Père François engraved with an arrow. They were unable to find the next oak before having to leave.

"I'm amazed," said Nancy, "that a tree 300 years old and hollow in 1675 would have survived all this time."

So am I, frankly, but Boycey sasses that oaks are, like, totally sturdy and tons of people find 300 year old ones. Aunt Eloise asks if there would be any danger for Nancy and Boycey reluctantly mentions a scoundrel named Kit Kadle who gave the Murder Club some trouble.

The last thing he passes on is that there is an archaeological dig run by Paulson University in the hollow oak area. Then he's off:

"Wait until I tell my friends a girl found the message in the hollow oak!"

There is a lot of pre-game wrangling before Nancy sets off for Illinois. Carson won't let her go alone and Bess & George, gasp, have plans:

"I guess you forgot that our cousin, Marian Shaw, is being married next week and we're to be bridesmaids."

Finally Ned calls and at first I think this might turn out to be a scandalous Very Special Episode but he just remembers that his cousin Julie Anne Carswell is joining the Paulson dig so maybe they could travel together. Once Julie Anne confirms with the dig leader that Nancy is welcome to stay at the digs digs, our girl is off!

She and Julie Anne encounter the mysterious Kit Kadle before they even make it to the dig but it's nothing a little sightseeing and a local dinner can't fix:

"Um! It's delicious," said Julie Anne, biting into a broiled, freshly caught fish topped with buttered almonds.

The next morning they arrive at the dig and Nancy meets Julie Anne's college friends and the dig leader, Theresa Bancroft. Mystery intervenes the first night, with Nancy awakened by a goat! Eventually a local named Clem Rucker shows up to retrieve his goat and gets roped into driving Nancy and JA around to find hollow oaks. They break for lunch, of course.

"My wife Hortense," he said, "makes the best beaten biscuits you ever ate. Then she opens 'em and puts a little fishball inside."

Umm?

And then just like that Nancy, Clem and Julie Anne find the second hollow oak. In your face, Murder Club!

Later, back at the dig, Nancy is put to work and immediately finds a finger bone. Way to go, Bones of the tv show Bones! Claire Warwick, know-it-all, butts in to argue "it's obviously a metatarsal bone, not a phalange" but she is swiftly corrected by Theresa. Watch and learn, Claire.

After another night of mischief—this time an attemped break-in—Nancy and Art, who clearly is sweet on her, drive into town to call the police. Later, two troopers and an "elderly Indian" arrive at the dig. Nancy makes with the interrogation of the Indian, Robert Lightfoot. He tells her that Père François had a treasure that was stolen by river pirates after he escaped from the Iroquois; the river pirates were the ones who killed him. So Nancy decides to take a towboat trip down the river to Cave in Rock near Elizabethtown.

On the way to arrange the boat trip, Nancy stops to call Ned who surprises her by saying that he, the other boys and Bess and George are coming to visit! Nancy relates the awesome news to Art who

had become glum but replied, "At any rate I'll like Bess and George."

Nancy is all wide-eyed "whatever do you mean?" until

Suddenly [she] wondered, "Could Art be jealous of Ned?"

It takes the whole ride into Cairo to sink in that Art had heard that redheaded detectives do it undercover but our girl was ready with a plan: throw Julie Anne at him! She invites them both to join the Love Boat Muppet Babies Adventure Cruise.

After making plans for their trip with Hornbeck's towboat friend, they return to the dig. Nancy finds a crudely printed note in her room:

"You will never find the right hollow oak. I have taken the message out of it and destroyed the tree. Now the treasure it told about will be mine! Ha! Ha!"

The students all deny leaving the note and Nancy offers to leave the dig and stay in Cairo to avoid bringing danger to the others. Theresa insists she stay and that her friends stay as well once they arrive. Art and Julie Anne get permission to go on the river trip with the Scoobies and then everyone gets back to work.

One of the students, Bob Snell, stands guard that night. Nancy awakes from a nightmare and decides to go for a walk and manages to stumble upon someone trying to steal the skeleton the boys had unearthed earlier. The noise awakens the others and they all discover Bob Snell is missing!

In other bad news, Mr. Drew sends word to N that ol' Boycey has discovered that one of his Murder Club pals, A.C.E. Armstrong (of course) is also missing. He hasn't been seen since he left the club trip. The dig goes on lockdown.

"May I make a suggestion?" Nancy asked. "There must be some whistles in camp."

So sad that the days when there must always be whistles just lying around are long past.

As expected, the night does bring occasion for whistle blowing. This time two men are found creepin' around Nancy's cabin & overheard planning to kidnap her. They get away but from the description given by the boy guards it's clear one of the men was Kit Kadle. 

Nance feels bad about the continued danger so she tells the others she'll leave tomorrow. Crappy Claire pipes up "no offense," but she's glad to hear it. Theresa tells her to STFU and Julie Anne reassures Nancy:

"Don't let her worry you, dear. Nobody cares for Claire..."

The next morning Art, Julie Anne and Nancy take off in a helicopter for their river trip. Art is still emo'ing around by the time they reach Cairo so Nancy suggests to Julie Anne that she try to cheer him up. Then when the rest of the gang arrives, Bess immediately sniffs out the romantic intrigue and tries to steer Art toward JA as well. Nancy takes Bess aside and basically tells her to keep her yenta mitts to herself even though Nancy was trying the same scheme. No one trusts Simple Bess!

Once everyone boards the towboat Sally O, we meet Captain Boge and the cook Mattie who "was taking a pan of hot rolls from a shiny oven" and we are treated to the first of our mandatory "ha ha, Bess loves food!" bits:

"Oh my diet!" moaned Bess.

The next day they reach Cave in Rock and the kids set out to explore while Captain Boge does some barge business. Once at the cave, Julie Anne exposits:

"I've read about this place," said Julie Anne. "Prehistoric Indians used it, too. And in 1831 the cave was the hideout for a gang of counterfeiters."

Foreshadowing?

They don't find any counterfeiters in the cave now but they do come across a damp, tattered note Nancy is able to easily decipher:

Prisoner of Kit Kadle Taking me to cellar in Elizabethtown

It's signed A.C.E—Boycey's missing friend! The Scoobies get a ride to Elizabethtown and meet the deputy and his cousin Jimmy who of course is invited along to investigate the one empty house in town. But first, food!

"Did you folks have lunch?" "A little," Nancy replied. "Jimmy," said the deputy, "go in the kitchen and fetch some apples and that bag o' doughnuts on the table."

They set off for the old Hatchett house where, surprise, Nancy and Ned find A.C.E. bound and gagged in the attic. They don't really learn anything from him other than he was waylaid by Kadle and another man who took him to the cave to meet a third man and that's when he was able to leave his SOS note.

Deputy Bag O' Doughnuts takes A.C.E. to the hospital and then he and Jimmy drive the Scoobies back to the tugboat. First stop, the galley, of course:

"Oh!" gasped Bess. It's like a beautiful dream. I had such a skimpy sandwich for lunch!"

They just make it through dessert before the next mishap.

...there was a loud crash of glass and a log whizzed through a window, sailed over their heads and landed against the far wall.

The aftermath is that Burt has a cut on his hand but everyone else is fine. So I'm imagining a small log, like a fireplace log, pitched through the window like a brick. Then I turn the page and see this illustration:

Felix Raybolt! Is Kit Kadle the Hulk?

But that's not all. The next morning the gang's gathered to check out the barges being put into place and George manages to fall in the river. She is of course "an excellent swimmer" and is able to swim to safety.

The rest of the trip is full of emo Art and nosy Bess and crazy slang from George, like "Hypers!" and "You're spoofing."

Back at the dig, Bob Snell is still missing and the Scoobies leave Art and Julie Anne behind to search for more hollow oaks but come up empty. They return to the dig where:

Everyone enjoyed Bess's delicious supper of ham patties, macaroni and cheese, and banana ice cream topped with cherries and ground walnuts.

After dinner two men roll up on the dig claiming to be from the museum in Cairo and demanding Theresa hand over all the artifacts and bones. When asked for ID, they craftily evade the issue with grade school crazy talk:

"What do you mean?" the other man said haughtily. "Our word is good enough."

"Listen, lady, I could have this whole project stopped. Not one of you is from Illinois!"

It's Simple Bess who saves the day by shouting that George will "use some judo on you!" 

Apparently they thought "George" was a man and they wanted no part of a judo encounter.

And I am now so sick to death of this adventure I wish I could be knocked out in a judo encounter. This recap will never end! Things do not come to a swift conclusion but I will try to swift it up.

First, the missing Bob Snell manages to send an SOS from a ham radio; then Nancy receives a ransom note demanding the contents of the hollow oak plus five thousand dollars in return for Bob's release; the Scoobies arrange a sting at the dropoff and overcome some guards, rescuing Bob; Bob and Burt take the prisoners to the police leaving the others to continue the hurt for the hollow oak; THEY FIND THE HOLLOW OAK; Kit Kadle shows up and demands they hand over the "copper hunting horn decorated with exquisite Limoges porcelain work depicting scenes in France" that was hidden inside the oak; then the police finally appear and everyone stands around while Kadle confesses every last detail of his crimes.

Once the prisoners are taken away, the gang examines the hunting horn. Inside they find:

a solid gold chain and cross

a man's large signet ring with a religious design on it

a surveyor's kit, composed of a plumb bob, a compass and a brass tube for sighting

a message from Père François (which is in old-fashioned French but of course Nancy is able to translate it) telling of an ancient Indian burial mound east of the tree filled with fine objects

They return to the dig and tell everyone about their finds, then call home and rub Boycey's face in his failure. They also stop in and tell Clem:

"We haven't had so much goin' on around here since one o' the town girls eloped with the postmaster's son." Embarrassed by Clem's comment, Nancy and Ned smiled.

In a first, the mystery ends with a postscript mentioning the excavation of the burial mound the following summer:

"Nancy was praised for having added valuable information to the archaeological knowledge of America.

I am so sorry; if you've got to the end of this monster I totally owe you a drink. Onward to lucky 13!

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#11 The Clue of the Broken Locket

This week's mystery comes courtesy of Dad who asks if she'd like to go to a cabin on Misty Lake in Maryland to discover what frightened the caretaker, Henry Winch. Dad's client owns the cabin and rented it for two weeks to mysterious Cecily Curtis who was supposed to get the key from Winch, who, according to Carson:

"...lives year round in the rear of his small shop where he sells confectionery and fish bait!"

This "Candy and bait?! HOW DROLL." schtick is played for laughs repeatedly through the book but I swear, now? In Brooklyn? We could totally make a go of that.

Anyway, the brillionaire Henry Winch sends the cottage key to Carson with a note: "Hire somebody else. I'm scared." Carson is busy so he asks if Nancy—and Bess & George—would drive down there and get the cabin ready and meet Miss Curtis.

So, "drive down" + the whole Emerson College thing makes me think River Heights is in Massachusetts or New York State or Connecticut I guess. But then there was that time the girls flew to New York and who would fly to NY from that close? Is it like that time on House when Dr. House and Sela Ward flew to Baltimore from goddamn Princeton, NJ? Also their trek to Misty Lake is broken up by an overnight stay at a motel on the way. Wikipedia could probably tell me where River Heights is but I prefer to just speculate for the time being.

As they near Misty Lake, Bess insists they stop to eat and they choose the White Mill, serving fresh broiled lobster. Umm! They are encouraged to walk about the grounds as their lobsters are prepared and they come upon a curly haired redhead and a strangely familiar-looking young man arguing. They eavesdrop of course but Nancy tut tuts that it's lobster time and they go. After the meal ditzy Bess realizes she lost her earring so they all troop back into the woods where they suffer their first Mystery Mishap: while they dangle off a rickety bridge to retrieve the earring, the redhaired girl comes dashing into them and the bridge collapses under their weight.

They survive (apparently it was a very low bridge over a puddle or something) and Bess tries to pry some info out of the girl about her earlier argument but Redhead just says thanks and runs away. The girls make their way to Misty Lake and once in town they learn just what scared old Henry Winch:

Mrs. Hosking explained that around the turn of the century there had been a large picnic grove at the far end of the lake. An excursion launch had carried parties up to the picnic grounds.

"One night the launch sprang a leak and went down quickly. Everyone on board was trapped and lost."  ...

 Mrs. Hosking's voice dropped to a whisper. "Many people have been saying that recently the ill-fated launch and its passengers have been seen at night through the mist near the picnic grove."

She begs the girls to stay away but they ignore her and set off for the cottage (after Bess makes them stop for more food) and as they are walking up to its door they hear footsteps, turn and see Redhead (from the White Mill), but with different clothes! Nancy thinks, hey that must be Cecily and calls her name but mystery girl just shouts “You can’t stop me from getting the babies!” and runs away. What the fudge?

The girls open up the cabin and have some cocoa in front of a roaring fire while they wait for Cecily to arrive. They've given up and decided to stay the night when Cecily appears and tada! She's the girl from the White Mill restaurant. This time she is dressed in the same clothes they'd seen her in earlier and has a cat named Satin. The cat is not important in any way, I just really liked that there was a black cat named Satin, who is later described thus:

The soft, furry animal, cuddled by the fireplace, began to purr, and was soon asleep.

Sweet, yes? Sweet as a thousand commas.

It's not until the next chapter that Cecily cracks and spills her secrets to the nosy detectives. Her great-grandmother Amelia was orphaned in the war, remembering only her first name and that she lived "in a big puddingstone house on a lake." Also she had half a gold locket with a message tucked inside:

'Will, I hid your half of fortune. Directions in the iron bird. Your brother, Simon.'

No one ever found the fortune and Cecily herself is now an orphan with only that half locket to link her to her family. She has come to Misty Lake after learning it used to be called Pudding Stone Lake and she is convinced that the creepy stone house on the bluff is the one her family owned. She asks the girls to stay and help her unravel the mystery.

Then she spills her second secret, which is that she is engaged to a pop singer named Niko Van Dyke who's the leader of a band called the Flying Dutchman. Fantastic, it's like modern day writers are not even TRYING. So Niko's record is "a hit number" but his royalties don't seem to reflect that so he's suing his record company for withholding profits. They were fighting in the restaurant because Cecily wants to wait til after the lawsuit when they have some more money to get married. Another modern gal! Nancy and Cecily will be fast friends.

The girls check out the stone house and meet the occupants, Karl and Vince Driscoll. Vince is ornery and orders them away but Karl runs into them in town and smarmily invites them to look around all they like after Cecily, against Nancy's better judgment, tells him about the iron bird she's searching for.

We also learn some new old timey slang from Bess: when they return to the cabin and find the bottled gas has been delivered, she exclaims:

"Oh boy, hot water!" Bess exclaimed. "Me for a relaxing bath."

Me for a relaxing bath? You for some messed up syntax.

And really, after that it's a whole lot of snooping around the stone house; experiencing the spooky phantom launch; kidnappers; doppleganger relatives and uncovering yet another counterfeiting ring (this time not money but records. Niko was right!). In the end Nancy has "trapped the record pirates and found the fortune!" But as always her delight is mixed with melancholy:

While the other were planning excitedly, Nancy was wondering wistfully when another mystery would come her way.

Lastly, the swag scene. Cecily and her newly found cousin vow to repair the locket and give it Nancy to "remember the cousins she united through her detective work!"

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Mad Men, "The Beautiful Girls"

Same edition as mine!

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#10 Password to Larkspur Lane

"'Trouble here. After five o'clock blue bells will be singing horses. Come tonight.'"

Of course Nancy knows just what to do:

"I'll wire the International Federation of American Homing Pigeon Fanciers...All homing pigeons are registered by number so the owners can be traced."

Leaving aside the sad fact that social organizations so rarely use the term "fanciers" anymore, check out Nancy's uber-competence again! A girl of many talents.

So she sends off a telegram and then leaves for the flower show with her prize larkspur (also know as delphinium, she tells Hannah). On her way home she catches sight of Dr. Spire, "the famous bone specialist," being whisked away in a black sedan. She thinks it peculiar but goes on her way. When she returns home there is a reply telegram from the Pigeon Fanciers who tell her to hang on to that bird and keep its message secret. Mysterious! Nancy is excited, dying for a new mystery "ever since I solved The Sign of the Twisted Candles." I love to imagine her having a big, leather scrapbook documenting her adventures which she of course gives titles.

While retrieving a jar of sweet pickles from the cellar to go with their dinner of hot biscuits and chicken (umm!), Hannah slips and throws out her back. Nancy drives her to old Dr. Spire's office straight away but of course he is still out in that mysterious sedan. While they wait, Nancy answers the phone in his office and takes a message:

"If you say blue bells, you will get into trouble, for they are no longer used here."

Felix Raybolt, what does it all mean?! Dr. Spire returns later that night and spills his guts to Nancy and Carson. He was summoned by who he thought was a patient but once he got into that black sedan he was blindfolded and taken to a place out in the country where he was asked to help an elderly woman with a dislocated shoulder. He wasn't allowed to talk to her but she slipped an engraved bracelet into his hands. The Drews decide to try to find and rescue her.

Hannah is prescribed bed rest and her niece Effie comes to work in her stead. Meet Effie:

"Hi, Nancy!" said the girl as she walked into the living room munching a banana. "Hello, Effie," Nancy greeted the thin, seventeen-year-old girl. Effie had light-blond hair, which she wore close-cropped with feathery bangs over her forehead. She was dressed in a Chinese-style pink kimono, with high-heeled satin mules. "This outfit is like the one Ling Su wore in the movie, 'The Chinese Wall Mystery,'" Effie remarked, making an Oriental bow.

Later Nance runs into good old Helen Corning, sorry, Mrs. Jim Archer, in town who asks if she would solve a mystery for her. Nancy explains she's already got a case but Helen butters her up:

"You're so clever, Nancy, I'm sure you can solve both at once!"

She takes the bait and goes over to the Archer's apartment the next day and they all drive out to Sylvan Lake where Grandmother and Grandfather Corning have recently moved. Helen asks after Bess and George and we learn they are vacationing, as per uzh, but will be home tomorrow. It turns out the elder Cornings have been experiencing something rather odd at their new house:

"One night about two weeks ago, my wife and I were sitting here enjoying the view when we saw a large circle of blue fire at the bottom of the hill." "Blue fire!" Nancy exclaimed. Mr. Corning nodded. "Yes, it's a circle about as big as a car wheel and glows with an eerie blue fire. It's approximately seven feet off the ground."

"Sounds weird," Helen remarked. Ya, duh? Apparently their middle-aged houseman Morgan has also been acting strangely lately and keeps disappearing after the blue fire appears. In fact, he's gone now! And he still is missing the next morning. The Cornings don't want to call the police because they don't want Morgan to get in trouble but Mrs. Corning laments that she'd feel safer if someone where there at night. Helen immediately offers - well, no, actually she doesn't. What she says is: "I wish I could be here," said Helen, "but--"

"No, no," her grandmother said firmly. Your place is with your husband."

In the next breath Helen offers up Nancy to stay. Y'know, because she's a dried up old spinster with no other plans? Nancy politely reminds her "but you know I am also working on another case." Mrs. C counters that the house could be Mystery HQ for Nancy but worries if it's safe. Helen pipes up again suggesting those other spinsters Bess and George could join her:

"You three could have lots of fun here when you're not working on your mysteries."

Holy Smug Married Helen. Do you not remember how Nancy saved you from drowning in a lake?!

Nancy says she'll think about it and goes home where bumblin' Effie and a neighbor boy end up letting the pigeon free. Nancy is PISSED.

Flustered, Effie climbed in [the car] beside Nancy, taking off her apron and chattering apologies. "Don't talk! Just watch," Nancy said crisply. ... Effie gulped. "I'm sorry. I can't see him. Oh, I could cry!" "Well, don't," Nancy commanded.

Fucking Effie. They follow the bird to its coop and Nancy gets menaced but escapes. The bad guys are out to get her now though so it's decided she'll decamp to Sylvan Lake with George and Bess who have returned from vacation (just in time for another vacation!). But how to leave in secret? Oh, how about this NEW CAR Mr. Drew bought for his little girl? They pull the old switcheroo with the help of Carson's various business associates and Nancy makes it safely to the Cornings where Morgan the houseman has still not returned. The next morning Nancy goes into town and learns from a jeweler that the bracelet the old woman slipped to Dr. Spire bears the crest of the Eldridge family, whose descendants live in or near St. Louis. Jewelers were more full service then. Then Bess and George arrive and soon the girls are headed off to the lake in their "swim suits and beach coats." Beach coats! My next project should be The Wondrous Outfits of Nancy Drew. Adventure resumes at the beach where Nancy rescues a little girl from a speedboat who just happens to be an Eldridge and subsequently learns from the child's mother that her old Aunt Mary is missing. Aha, so Mary Eldridge is the old woman Dr. Spire met. But who cares about old ladies when the boys arrive! Ned, Bess's beau Dave Evans and Burt Eddleton ("He was George's special friend.") arrive in a canoe from the camp they're counselors at across the lake. The girls go to a yacht club dance with them and then go visit them at the camp for a swim meet. After the races, Ned proposes a little diving competition which Nancy of course owns.

The girls get back to the Cornings where Morgan has returned and Nancy puts together the pieces of that mystery: Morgan is being blackmailed into stealing the Corning's crystal garden (a collection of crystal flowers with jewels in them). A plan is devised to trap the thieves but Morgan screws it up and ends up getting kidnapped.

They still don't call the police and let Nancy have another day to try and find the house where Mrs. Eldridge is being held. The girls drive around until they at last come upon a large estate surrounded by larkspur. This is the place! They bumble through the woods and come to an electrified fence. But wait - an old lady in a wheelchair is on the other side. It's Mrs. Eldridge! Nancy explains how she found her and that she is going to rescue her. A guard comes by and the girls take off but not before overhearing clever Mrs. E mention which room she's in. A plan takes shape.

Then, Chapter XV, titled Daring Plans:

[George returns bandaged and ready.] "Good," said Nancy. "Are you ready for danger?" "Of course we are," George answered steadily.

It's like the Teen Expendables up in here.

This plan, by the way, involves renting a car and Nancy meeting back up with G+B "her arms filled with packages." She has GOT to be selling term papers or old-fashioned meth (?) on the side. Nancy dresses up like the old lady they overheard was due to arrive at 9 tonight and Bess is to be her nurse/driver. George with her lame ankle is to man the convertible in case of trouble.

 But first, a meal:

They found a small restaurant on a side street and ordered hot sandwiches and milk.

Milk! It's like Muppet Babies Undercover. They drive up to the mansion and say the password from the pigeon's message, way back at the beginning of this too-long recap.

"Singing horses," repeated the guard. "Right you are." The password had permitted them to enter!

It gets really confusing after that but they find Mrs. Eldridge and also Morgan locked in an attic. Nancy gets caught but escapes and manages to send off some pigeons with the message "SP at once" and to drain the fuel from the thieves' plane. In the end, she is rescued by Ned, dad and the State Police.

" 'SP at once,' " Ned said with a grin. "Sailplane at once!" "Also, send police," Nancy added. ... "All we had to do was find two sailplanes..."

You think your girlfriend is high-maintenance? Try being Nancy's boyfriend.

Memento time! Mrs. Eldridge tells Nancy to keep her bracelet and Mr. Corning, not to be outdone in the generosity game, pipes up:

"And I am going to order French crystal earrings in the form of tiny larkspurs for you and the other girls."

So heartfelt, how he doesn't even feel the need to know those "other girls" names. But all Nancy really wants is another mystery, and you know Nancy always gets what she wants...

Edited to add: In case you're wondering, Nancy also won first prize in the flower show.

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#9 The Sign of the Twisted Candles

"We'll have jellied consomme, sliced breast of chicken, hearts of lettuce with Roquefort dressing, nut bread, ice cream, chocolate layer cake and fruit punch."

During dinner Asa tells the girls about his life, both good:

"Eventually I invented the twisted candle which brought me fame and fortune."

and bad: all his fame and fortune caused his to neglect his family; his little girl died; his wife and sons left him and later they died too so he has no descendants except a brother who also died and the few remaining relatives he has are in a feud. But old Asa tries to see the bright side on this, his 100th birthday:

Let us drink to the new world of electronics, spaceships, and trips to the moon—but always soft candlelight. Salute!"

This is my new all purpose toast.

When Nancy returns home, Hannah Gruen explains the Sidney feud:

"Ever since the little girl's death, the Boontons and the Sidneys have been enemies. The Boontons are mad at the Sidneys because Asa didn't pay attention to his family, and the Sidneys are mad at the Boontons because Mrs. Sidney left her husband."

...

"Once there was some sort of reconciliation between a Boonton and a Sidney, and a marriage, I believe. But the feelings of both families were so bitter that they disowned the couple."

As it turns out, Bess and George are Boontons, great-grandnieces of Asa Sidney. This will be important later.

Nancy gets a call from Carol asking her to bring her father, the lawyer Carson Drew, to see Mr. Sidney the next morning to draw up a new will for him. He agrees and they make their way back to the inn in the morning where Nancy has to outfox Mrs Jemitt ("with the speed of a panther") to get entrance to the tower room. Dad works out the will with Asa while Nancy lurks around and gets more dirt about the Jemitts out of Carol.

After the will is witnessed and signed, the Drews have lunch with Asa and he asks Nancy for another favor. He has hidden many things in secret cupboards throughout the house. He asks if Nancy, Carol, Bess and George will search for the items, which can be found in places marked by the image of a twisted candle. She agrees and when they leave him she sets off for the Marvin house where she sees their Uncle Peter Boonton's car parked outside. She also sees George in the window who does not wave and walks away. She rings the bell, Bess answers and Nancy excitedly tells her there's a lot going on at the inn and they all should go out there tomorrow.

"Oh, I don't think I care to come," Bess replied. "And I'm sure George wouldn't be interested, either."

Nancy is taken aback but tries to explain how Mr. Drew is Asa's lawyer now and there's a mystery afoot and isn't that something we always do together?

"Oh, so your father is really taking sides in the case, is he?" Bess asked frigidly. "I'm sorry, Nancy, but I must go back inside."

What. A. Bitch. Later at dinner Nancy relates the snub to her father, saying she's disappointed in her friends. Me too! Nancy's a bossy nerd to be sure but at the same time a friend, loyal and true. Also she is always right so a little benefit of the doubt is surely owed her. The next morning Carol calls: Asa has died. The Jemitts ramp up the nefariousness, trying to spirit as many valuables out of the house as possible. Mr. Drew takes charge and has Hannah Gruen come stay with Nancy and Carol to keep an eye on the Jemitts until the will is read. All the squabbling relatives, including cold bitches Bess & George, gather for the reading and in a completely not shocking turn of events, Carol is named heir of 8/9ths of the estate. Chaos ensues. Nancy spends the next few days fighting with the Jemitts, trying to stop them from looting the house. Finally they post some private guards at the house and decamp for Casa Drew with Carol. As Carol is packing, Nancy gets a load of her "shabby coat" and "old-fashioned suitcase" and proposes a shopping trip with Carol's shiny new inheritance. I'd love a shopping trip with Nancy. I'd get so many sports dresses! At the department store they run into Bess and George who are at first standoffish but Nancy gives an impassioned speech defending herself and her father. To the cousins credit they break down immediately and apologize and then—shopping montage!

When they get home, Carson takes Nancy aside and tells her he is looking into Carol's background (foreshadowing...). The next morning Ned comes by and he and Nancy go snoop around the inn where they find some more hidden treasures but also get into shenanigans with the Jemitts and pesky relatives Peter Boonton and Jacob Sidney. Nancy gets drugged then rescued, there's a car chase, and she and Ned end up apprehending Jemitt's henchman at Mrs. Dilberry's Guest House (heh). After all that excitement, they return to the Drew house for a delicious roast beef dinner after which Carol surprises them with her famous Butterfly Pie:

Into each portion of the lemon chiffon pie Carol had stuck two large wafers which she had fashioned into the shape of butterfly wings. Carol had decorated them in various patterns with vegetable colorings.

After a night interrupted by nightmares of Butterfly Pie, Nancy returns yet again to the inn to hunt for treasures with Bess and George. Carol stays behind because she's too afraid to go back but ends up getting her fool self kidnapped while everyone's away. Nancy grills the jailed henchman but gets nowhere until, in a burst of detectivey inspiration, she gets the idea to search the tower room back at the inn.

Carol is saved and again the Boonton-Sidney clan is called to gather at the Sign of the Twisted Candles for the reading of a letter the girls found in their pre-kidnapping-rescue treasure hunt. In a shocking twist everyone saw coming it is revealed that Carol is actually Asa Sidney's great-grandniece, the daughter of Bess and George's uncle and Jacob Sidney's daughter, the disowned couple Hannah Gruen spoke of lo those many paragraphs ago. So, yay, everybody loves Carol now that she's a relative and not some inheritance-stealing urchin!

The Drews, sticklers for closure, sneak off in the middle of this celebration and return to announce that they called the orphanage and it releases all claim to her. A friendly debate about who gets to take Carol home with them ensues and oddly ends up with "off to boarding school with you, Carol!"

The Boonton-Sidney feud was over!

[sdn]

#8 Nancy's Mysterious Letter

©1968. This is the best book thus far. Nancy is titian-blond and Bess gets to be blond too this time although she still gets a hard time from her cousin George "proto-Peppermint Patty" Fayne right off the bat:

"Maybe you have an unknown admirer in England, Nancy," she said.

George gave Bess a dark look. "Do you always have to think of the romantic side of things?"

He commits the cardinal sin of mail carriers and leaves his mailbag in the vestibule while he sips cocoa with Hannah Gruen and the girls and of course is swiftly punished for it. Upon leaving, he discovers the mailbag has been stolen! Not only is Nancy's letter gone so is an envelope meant for Carson Drew that contained money sent by a client. Suspicion immediately falls upon Ira's evil half brother Edgar who's been dogging Ira for money ever since he blew into town.

Nancy starts a search for Evil Edgar while Mr. Drew uses the name Ira remembered from Nancy's letter to try and track down its sender. It turns out to be a law firm searching for a "Nancy Smith Drew" who has come into an inheritance. Carson tries to make a call to correct them:

Nancy waited while he gave the number, but the lawyer was told that the Atlantic lines would be tied up for several hours. He turned to Nancy. "Maybe you'll have this case solved before I can put through the phone call!" he teased.

This couldn't have been the case as late as '68, could it? Maybe this is from the original 30s edition. I mean, I'm an old but I'm also a person with the entire Internet in my pocket so I can't even begin to comprehend this.

And now, the best minor characters in all of literature: Sailor Joe Skeets and his wife. Maud Skeets shows up all "I want my two dollars!" blaming Nancy for the letter she had stolen from Ira's mailbag. Nancy refuses to pony up the cash and tries to get rid of Maud. But wait, what's this lead?

You're just like all the other Nancy Drews!

Maud refuses to reveal what other Nancy Drews she knows unless this Nancy shows up at her house with the stolen money.

Interestingly, Mr. Drew thinks going along with blackmail is a dandy plan so Nance makes her way to the Skeets' home the next day. Mrs. Skeets is out but Sailor Joe is home and, well, this conversation happens:

"Well, she hoisted anchor here about an hour ago," he said. I expect she just rode around to the chandler for some supplies and most likely she'll be back by six bells."

There are six pages of Sailor Joe and his sailor talk. I want to quote the whole damn thing. Just one more:

"Brisket corned beef is what you'll get for supper because it's the cheapest cut in the market," the woman announced.

"Salt horse again!" exclaimed her husband.

Salt horse!

Anyway before Joe can get started on another sea yarn, Nancy learns that the Skeetses used to know a Nancy Smith Drew, an actress who last was heard to be working as a governess to some English folk on Cape Cod. There the trail ends until the very next page when Ned calls to confirm the weekend's plans to visit his fraternity at Emerson College and after hearing Nancy's story of the mysteries she's working on reveals that the coach hired by Emerson's dramatic society is named N. Smith Drew!

Later Bess's beau Dave Evans confirms the N does indeed stand for Nancy and that the drama coach left for a town called Ridgefield. Oh no, that's where Evil Edgar is boarding! Nancy surmises that Edgar has learned of the inheritance from the stolen letter and is preventing her from finding out about it until he can marry her then get her money away "through some clever scheme." They also discover he's been running a Lonely Hearts Club, stealing money from women he promises to find a husband. This guy is the worst!

The girls finally set out to Emerson for the play and the big game. Nancy briefly gets locked in an auditorium and is attacked by a rock thrower. There is an eight-page section on the cutest football game ever. And then there is another of the most inscrutable clues ever involving Shakespeare quotes that of course Nancy is able to decipher immediately: Other Nancy has flown to New York with Edgar. Our Nancy contacts the police in NY but then asks the girls if they are up for a trip there themselves, to be there for poor Other Nancy when Edgar gets arrested. Somehow it is not a problem for three unemployed young ladies to up and fly to New York at the last minute.

At the airport Nancy is attacked one last time, chloroformed in the "powder room." As it nears boarding time and she doesn't return, Bess & George go to check on her:

The cousins hurried to [the powder room]. At first they did not see Nancy, but when Bess peered in the nursery, she gasped. Her friend was lying under a crib, covered with a blanket!

Nursery? Crib? In an airport bathroom? What a wondrous world they lived in. They also wondrously manage to drag drugged Nancy to the plane and make it safely to NY where they finally find Nancy Smith Drew who is thankfully not yet married and then they all watch Edgar get arrested. And then as Other Nancy is bemoaning the loss of her dream of marriage, our Nancy has a quiet moment of reflection:

As Nancy thought of an appropriate answer, she suddenly realized that this mystery which she had enjoyed so much was coming to a close. The young detective always felt a vacuum in her life when this happened.

As do I, Nancy, as do I.

[sdn]

#7 The Clue in the Diary

Copyright 1962. Nancy is:

...pretty in a distinctive way. Her eyes were blue, her hair titian blond. She expressed her opinions firmly, but did not force them on others. Nancy's abilities of leadership were welcome and depended upon in any group.

But I digress. The girls are returning from a trip to the carnival where they met and inappropriately hyperbonded with some new strangers: Mrs. Swenson and her daughter Honey. We don't learn Mrs. Swenson's first name, Helen, until page 99 when her husband Joe says it. She's just called Mrs. Swenson for 11 chapters. Well, of course, she is poor.

They are lamenting the Swensons troubles (Joe went away to find work but hasn't been in touch nor sent any of the money orders he'd promised) when they drive past a house that explodes! They rush over to help but the smoke is too thick. Nancy goes around back and sees a man running away from the burning house. Guilty! She and the girls get separated in the smoky commotion and she finds a diary on the ground which of course she feels free to pick up and "thrust...into the pocket of her sports dress." I think I should like a sports dress. Sounds comfortable.

Then who to our wondering eyes should appear but St. (Ned) Nick(erson)! We meet him attempting to steal Nancy's convertible. Or so the suspicious sleuth thinks; in reality, the gallant young man was just moving it out of range of the burning embers. Ned is described:

He was about nineteen, Nancy decided, surveying him critically. His hair was dark and slightly curly, his eyes whimsical and friendly. He wore a college fraternity pin.

So I picture Ned as an N'Sync-era Justin Timberlake.

There is a bit where Nancy's car is rear-ended by a weird, nervous man but that seems to be just a way to get Nancy and Ned to interact again before the girls leave. Ned is directing traffic off the burned house grounds and when Nancy pulls over to examine her busted car he offers to help them to the local garage. They are So Meant For Each Other!

The diary turns out to be in Swedish which, shockingly, Nancy can't read (although she knows a few key phrases of course, courtesy of old school chum Karen from Sweden) but Hannah Gruen reminds her of their "old Swedish bakery friend, Mr. Peterson" who could surely help them out. Oh and right before Hannah reveals her brilliant idea, Nancy says "Mm, blueberry muffins" which hopefully means we've seen the last of "Umm."

Unfortunately Mr. Peterson is laid up until chapter 18 so Nancy has to make do with investigating the owner of the burned house, Felix "Foxy Felix" Raybolt, a man with a bad reputation for stealing others' inventions. "Felix Raybolt!" is my new exclamation of choice. Felix Raybolt, that's a low price!

Foxy Felix has gone missing and his equally suspicious wife claims he died in the fire at their house. All signs point to poor Joe Swenson being the culprit, as he was swindled by Raybolt and had a meeting with him the morning of the explosion. Also, St. Ned found a signet ring at the Raybolts house after the fire with the initial D, and Joe's mother's name was Dahl. Most damning is later when Nancy tracks down Joe, she realizes he's the stranger she saw running from the house.

But after Mr. Peterson gets off his lazy Swedish ass and translates the diary, Nancy figures out a plan to trap Raybolt. The girls lay in wait at the house for him to come back and dig up some secret documents. Yet again they basically fail and are rescued by the appearance of Ned and Mr. Drew. And there is the weirdest line ever:

"How in the world did you and Dad get here at the psychological moment?" Nancy asked Ned.

Felix Raybolt, what does that mean?!

Once in custody, Felix and his wife give up in classic "we would have gotten away with it, if not for those meddling kids" fashion. Raybolt writes Joe Swenson a check right then and there for the money he stole from him and Nancy is gifted with the signet ring.

[sdn]

#6 The Secret of Red Gate Farm

Back to 1961. Nancy is still titian-haired, Bess and George are still in on the action but there's no Ned to be found.

And we've got some racism from our very first sentence:

"That Oriental-looking clerk in the perfume shop certainly acted mysterious," Bess Marvin declared...

The girls end up knee deep in this craziness after meeting the young waif Joanne Byrd, who lives with her grandmother at Red Gate Farm. Times are tough for the Byrds and they are in danger of losing the farm. Nancy cooks up a plan where she, Bess and George spend some undefined amount of time as boarders at Red Gate, in order to help the Byrds make enough money to pay their mortgage.

It's hard to tell exactly but this plan seems to last weeks. How is this possible? Are Nancy, Bess and George socialites?

It actually was not so easy to convince Bess and George to agree to the plan. They both wanted to help Joanne and agreed that a week or two in the country would be very pleasant but there were complications. If George went it meant she would lose out on a camping trip. Bess had planned to visit an aunt in Chicago but admitted that the trip could be postponed.

Nancy is one pushy broad.

After helping out readying the farm for other boarders and spying on the nature cult for a while, the three girls fashion a set of their own white robes and attempt to infiltrate the cave. They get caught as usual but are saved and Nancy comes up with a scheme to save the farm by turning the counterfeiter's cave into a tourist attraction.

There was also a coded message that Nancy cracks as described thusly:

Nothing showed up until she hit upon the plan of four letters of the alphabet in sequence by number, the next four in reverse. Alternating in this manner and leaving two in the end bracket, Nancy scrutinized what she had worked out...

Either that doesn't make any sense at all or I am dumber than an 8 year-old. Probably both.

[sdn]

#5 The Secret of Shadow Ranch

So there is a lot of racism in these books. At least these versions; I imagine it's been edited out in more modern editions? Just because it's old timey doesn't make it ok and I don't know the correct way to deal with it other than to point it out when I come across it.

Which is immediately: Later the girls are talking about the upcoming rodeo/BBQ and Nancy says she'd like to go into town to find something special to wear.

"I know," exclaimed Bess. "Let's all buy Indian costumes!" When they reached the city, George directed Nancy to a shop which sold a variety of Indian apparel and souvenirs. The sight of the colorful squaw dresses drove all thoughts of the ranch trouble from the girls' minds. ... With their purchases in boxes the girls strolled down the street to a Spanish restaurant. Here they ate a delicious lunch of tacos and spicy chili.

...

Bess sighed. "Umm, that was super."

Umm, tacos - so exotic they were italicized in the book.

The mystery here mostly centers around a phantom horse that races across the meadow and is thought to be the ghost horse of Dirk Valentine, an old-time outlaw. Also, things around the ranch are being sabotaged, horses are let free and there is a B plot mystery about the disappearance of cousin Alice's dad. Nancy deduces that the phantom horse is a fake and the sabotage is an attempt to make the Rawleys abandon the ranch so the the bad guys can swoop in and search for Dirk Valentine's long lost treasure. Our girl figures out who the saboteurs are and finds both the treasure and the missing dad. This time she refuses any reward. There is a brief, isolated mention of Ned on pg 111:

"And what'll poor Ned do?" George teased. Nancy grinned. "We'll be home by the time he gets back from Europe."

and then he's never brought up again in this book and he's introduced as if for the first time in the next one (secret! I read up to #8 before deciding to do this project so I stopped and went back to recap before going on). I wonder if 8 year-old Beth noticed these inconsistencies; bless my nerd heart, I'm sure she did.

[sdn]

#4 The Mystery at Lilac Inn

Copyright 1961. Nancy is now titian blond.

Despite the trouble they had with water transport last time, #4 opens with Nancy and good old Helen Corning paddling a canoe up the river to visit family friend Emily and her aunt at the lilac inn. Emily is also engaged and Nance and Helen are to be bridesmaids.

This time we only have to wait until page 2 for our first adventure: the canoe is rammed by something and capsizes!

Fortunately, the girls were excellent swimmers. Each instinctively grabbed her buoyant, waterproof canvas traveling bag, bobbing nearby, and swam to a grassy bank.

The tradition of gifting Nancy with a memento of the mystery continues

...the bride-to-be gave her two attendants pins set with tiny diamonds. Nancy's was in the form of a lilac spray.

as does the theme of independent Nancy (no Ned Nickerson yet!)

Helen said, "Goodness, Nancy, you must be tired of hearing us talk about steady partners when--" Nancy interrupted. Laughing gaily, she said, "Not at all. For the present, my steady partner is going to be mystery!"

The part where Helen and Emily then exchange smug, knowing looks seems to be missing from my edition.

[sdn]

#3 The Bungalow Mystery

We are thrust immediately into adventure with the girls on a lake taking a pleasurable motorboat cruise that turns harrowing as a storm suddenly blows in. A log hits the boat, they start taking on water, then a wave knocks them overboard and Nancy tries to drag an incapacitated Helen to shore but struggles to stay afloat. At one point Helen begs Nancy to save herself! Go on without me! Pretty dark, Carolyn Keene, it's only page 8!

Luckily the girls are rescued by Laura Pendleton who helps them into her boat and in the midst of paddling them to safety manages to intrigue Nancy with talk of a mystery. The girls survive and break into a bungalow to wait out the storm. (They get into some blankets and make hot cocoa and this is the first appearance of the word "Umm" instead of Yum. "Umm, this is good," Nancy said contentedly. It's jarring and weird.)

Turns out Laura is a recent orphan, waiting at Twin Lakes for the arrival of her new guardians. Sadly, the guardians seem like dicks but soon enough we learn they are not who they seem. They are really bank robbers or bank robbing accomplices anyway and they're out to steal Laura's mother's jewels. And also bank notes. There is another abandoned cabin where they hid the real guardian and Nancy finds and saves him.

The titular bungalow has nothing much to do with the story overall and Nancy gets another gift at the end: one of the mother's jewels, an aquamarine ring that she had admired earlier. Ummm.

[sdn]

#2 The Hidden Staircase

This one is also copyright 1959. Nancy's still blond and still hanging out with Helen Corning. In fact Helen kicks off this adventure by asking Nancy to investigate a ghost at Twin Elms, the old family mansion of Helen's Aunt Rosemary. Also, Helen is engaged!

There's a lot of meal talk in Nancy Drew; longtime housekeeper Hannah Gruen is constantly whipping up hearty breakfasts, light luncheons and a steady supply of cookies and cakes. A typical dinner:

By the time they reached the first floor again, Hannah had placed sherbet glasses filled with orange and grapefruit slices on the table. All during the delicious dinner of spring lamb, rice and mushrooms, fresh peas and chocolate angel cake with vanilla ice cream, the conversation revolved around the railroad bridge mystery and then the haunted Twin Elms mansion.

The master set piece of The Hidden Staircase is an extensive, detailed page and half passage of Nancy and Helen working out a pattern to climb a staircase (an unhidden staircase) without making the stairs creak.

Either that or this exchange, where Nancy asks a police officer if a suspect had any outstanding characteristics:

"Harry didn't notice anything, except that the fellow's hands didn't look as if he did any kind of physical work. The taximan said they were kind of soft and pudgy."

"Well, that eliminates all the men I know who are short, heavy-set and have pale-blue eyes. None of them have hands like that."

Nancy Drew doesn't truck with city hands.

[sdn]

#1 The Secret of the Old Clock

My copy of #1 is copyright 1959. I assumed they all would move forward from there but they jump from early 60s to 1968 and then back. These low numbered ones are all my original childhood editions so I don't know how that happened. These were all bought in the late 70s/early 80s so I guess there were many different editions floating around wherever we bought books back then (Waldenbooks?).

I'd run across the fact that Nancy didn't start out "titian haired" somewhere on the internet but had no personal memories of it. But right here on page one we are introduced to Carson Drew's "blond, blue-eyed daughter," an attractive girl of eighteen in her dark-blue convertible, a birthday gift from her father.

Also missing from #1 are Nancy's BFFs, cousins Bess Marvin and George Fayne and her boyfriend Ned Nickerson. Instead, Nancy hangs out with her school friend Helen Corning.

She is already almost supernaturally self-sufficient and accomplished, fixing a flat tire and a boat motor while tracking down a lost will in order to help out the downtrodden but kindly people she randomly meets.

Shocking conclusion: the will is in an old clock.