seducemewithyourpuns

[seducemewithyourpuns]

People should use this text embellishment more

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

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If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

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Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

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Pangur doesnt like me going into rooms by myself

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Scadrian Youth Pastor voice: Yes! Slay queen! *Sits on a chair in the hip way (backwards)* but let me tell you about a Queen who literally slayed: Vin, the Ascendent Warrior...

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Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

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Somehow they managed even greater levels of Brennan torture than in Second Place. The man was well and truly shooketh. They broke him (again)

{clips from the season 6 Game Changer episode “Bingo”}

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tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

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Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

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Hilda by Duane Bryers

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Me going to the bathroom for 10min twice a shift to recharge a bit

The Bathroom was a key invention in neurodivergent rights. Sorry I hate it here I need to exit the situation for several minutes and you can't tell me not to on the off chance that I actually have to piss. It's genius. Everyone say thank you bathroom for everything she's done for us

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crumch

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INSOMNIA 4th level Enchantment

Casting Time: 1 Action Range: 30 ft.  Components: S, M (a petrified eyeball) Duration: 24 Hours

You curse the dreams of a creature you can see within range. The creature must make a Charisma saving throw. There is no effect on a successful save and no immediate or noticeable effect on a failed one. Upon attempting to take a short or long rest, the target finds that they are unable to gain the benefits of a rest. The creature takes exhaustion points as necessary from lack of rest (XGE p78) as wakefulness becomes a maddening prison. 

At higher levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher the duration increases by an additional 24 hours for each spell slot above 4th level. 

Suggested Classes: Bard, Warlock, & Wizard

Commission for @thenuinn. Commission information here.

NOTE: This spell can be countered by Greater Restoration, Counterspelled, or removed with an appropriately leveled Dispel Magic. While intimidating, there are numerous ways to deal with the spell. Its primary use in my opinion as an author is to impose horror upon characters, be they NPCs or PCs within a narrative and the roleplay that comes from that. 

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OH FUCK OFF GOLD BURNING MISTINGS SEE AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF THEMSELVES. ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. AU. AU IS THE ELEMENT SHORTHAND THING FOR GOLD. FUCK YOU BRANDON. FUCK.

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Saving for later

Progression Fantasy Tier List

Great: S (95 – 100) (4.5 – 5.0)

- World-Tree Trilogy

- Beware of Chicken

- Cradle

Very Good: A (90 – 95) (4.0 – 4.5)

- Azarinth Healer

- Dawn of the Void

- Double-Blind

- Jackal Among Snakes

- He Who Fights with Monsters

- All I Got is This Stat Menu

Good: B (80 – 90) (3.5 – 4.0)

- Full Murderhobo

- New Era Online

- Archemi Online

- Beastborne

- High Table Hijinks

- Wake of the Ravager

- Dragon’s Dilemma

- Traveler’s Gate

- Dinosaur Dungeon

- Solo Leveling

- Second Coming of Gluttony

- Mother of Learning

- The Centennial Dungeon

- Imperial Wizard

- Reborn as a Demonic Tree

- Rise of Kers

Above Average: C (70 – 80) (3.0 – 3.5)

- Battle Mage Farmer

- Tower of Power

- Irrelevant Jack

- Shadow Sunday

- Quest Academy

- End of the World

- Challenger’s Call

- Vigor Mortis

- The Beginning After the End

Average: D (50 – 70) (2.5 – 3.0)

- Greyblood

- D-Genesis

- The Titan

- Seas of Avalon

- Dr.Druid

- Arise

- Salvos

- Paranoid Mage

- The Retired S Ranked Adventurer

- Chaos Dungeon Archives

- The Infinite World

- Awakening the Angel System

- Apocalypse Tamer

Below Average: E (25 – 50) (2.0 -2.5)

- Reality Benders

- Battleborne

- Pangea Online

- Systems of Salvation

- Adelheid

- An Ideal World for a Sociopath

- Integrated Universe

Bad: F (0 – 25) (1.5 – 2.0)

- Tower Climber

- The Primeval Apocalypse

Top TBR List:

- Stray Cat Strut

- The Calamitous Bob

- Bastion

- All the Skills

- Voidknight Ascension

- The Mayor of Noobtown

- The First Law of Cultivation

- Darklands Online

- Millennial Mage

- Divine Apostasy

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yearly reminder not to use turbotax this year and that the irs has a page on their website with tons of places where you can very easily free file without any fees or pestering for upgrading to pro or any bullshit. fuck turbotax 10000000 years blood corruption spell on those cunts

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Ep 6 Party Politics

It is important in any student government campaign to remember the Steel Workers.

That was fairly chaotic.

Ep 5 || Ep 7