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Detail Eight. Space Station. 21.05.2021. From your acid reflux to food poisoning, you said you never had anyone who took care of you like this. The meter increased. But you will never know that it was my meter that increased because of how patient you are with me. Because of how you always try to make things work. Because you are always so gentle and thoughtful towards what I am feeling. We said it today. The endearment that brings more commitment and intensity. You once said that we are like the sun and the moon. I shine too brightly for you like the sun. I want to say, I am the moon. I shine brightly because I reflect your light. I always thought the sun will burn me. Yet, once again, you proved me otherwise. This is Detail Eight. From Astronaut to Whale. You, the love of my life.
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4 November 2020.
rushing like waves crushing along the shorelines en engulfing me and my emotions I do not want this. I never ask It was like it chose me. I was chosen. Please. Help me. Stop me from thinking. Gone were the days where I don't worry. Here are the instances of anxious me.
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Detail Seven. Space Station. 09.07.20. First 365 Days. You said I was the best in your eyes, making you sure that I was what you were looking for. Honoured, I am for you to give me this appraisal. You don’t know yet how I’m starting to think that we could really work out. From being the only person I cry in front of to me understanding the phrase, ‘If you love a flower, you will let it grow’. I don’t know how to describe what you are doing. It’s like… you unconsciously show me a different world that I never thought I would experience. Whenever I’m feeling down, you have this amazing power to make me feel better just by listening to your voice. You make me feel like everything is going to be okay. Your voice disperse the dark clouds above my head. And, I never felt that with anyone before. How easily you calm the storms in my seas. How you seem to be my safe haven. This is your magic. I don’t know if you are the best for me. All I know is that I want it to be you. This is Detail Seven. From Astronaut to Whale. You, my harbour.
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Detail Six. Sembawang. 210120. The card. Interactive, I like. Imperfect, I love. Handwritten, My favourite. Receiving the card was a mixed feelings moment. Happy to receive an exclusive gift, worried that these feelings and effort you have for me will not last. I decided to focus only on the happy side. 260120. The Birthday. You forgot. I know you were busy. You are busy. I probably shouldn't request too much. But you told me to expect. You said you want me to expect because then you would try to achieve it. Although it might not always be up to my expectations but at least better than not having any expectations. You said, if I don't have any expectations for you, when someone better comes along and meet all my expectations then I would go with them. You don't want to lose me. I'm sad. Not because you forgot my birthday. But because you promised that you would make me feel special on this day. I was looking forward to you acknowledging it. No need for fancy long messages or extravagent gift. Am I asking too much? No. Really? 020220. The Rose. Thank you for the rose. Thank you for properly apologising. Thank you for all the promises you so silently made to me. Not easy, I see your nervousness and hesitation. Thank you for the effort that you put in. But please, don't promise too much, too many. I rather you not promise me anything than to tell me one day that you are too tired for this. For us. For me. I don't want to lose you. 一个破灭的承诺的对你来说最多只是辜负一个人；可是一个破灭的承诺，一个无法实现的诺言 对我来说，世界是会崩盘的。 This is Detail Six. From Astronaut to Whale. Thank you.
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Breathless I am as I stand forth I hold no strength nor courage For I plead the sins of your beauty Forgive me, not? Forget me, not? Distance between us that stands Length I cannot overcome Overwhelm it gets on my senses Question my soul for you Searched my universe for a sign Found the no trail that you left Where are you? Colour my sky.
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Detail Five. Space Station. 01.01.20. Hey Babe, it's almost a year since we know each other and we are together for almost half a year. We are still young as a couple but in these months, I feel that we have been through quite a lot. Thank you for tolerating my nonsense from time to time, for loving me when I couldn't love myself. For supporting me and giving me the courage to step out of my comfort zone. I remember when you encouraged me to get back to playing football when I don't think that I could go back anymore. You continuously encouraged me to face my fears and uncertainties when my grandma was in critical condition. You gave me a shoulder to lean on and asked me not to be afraid to be vulnerable. You showed me that I don't always have to be at my very best to be loved by someone as amazing as you. There are many that you have fone for me that I could go on and on but that would be too longwinded. I feel that all those things that you have done for me has made me a better person. And for that, I am truly gratful to you, for you. I too want to be someone that can also do something for you. I hope that in 2020 and beyond, we could continue as a couple that we are now and be better for each other. I love you alot, babe. I really do. I hope that we can be stronger as a couple so that one day, we could call each other husband and wife. Happy 2020, my dearest. ------------------------------------ Transmitting... 2019 說長不長，說短不短。 不算最快樂的一年、不算最優秀的一年 不算最煎熬的一年 也不算最忐忑的一年。 可是 2019 很特別因為今年有了你。 從陌生人到朋友到戀人的過程，感覺有不一樣但又好像沒有不一樣。 不一樣是因為身分不一樣，但一樣是因為我們都還是真心對待彼此。 其實說上來我們經歷的不算少。至少有更確定彼此？ 如果要我用一句話形容2019，我會說 「因為有你，我世界裡的向日葵才會健康。」 --------------------------------------- Transmitting... This is Detail Five. From Whale to Astronaut. From Astronaut to Whale. Happy New Year.
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Detail Four. Bedroom. 14.12.19. Will you see the part of the world for me that I can't? Will you write your adventures in whispers and let them reach me through the wind? This is Detail Four. From Astronaut to Whale. Take me too.
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Look into my eyes. See how the light diminishes. Say it while looking at me. Life, Life Less, Lifeless. Say it; Let's... Break up. Cowards.
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Detail Three. Greenhouse. 29.09.19. It's been raining the whole day here in Space. Filled with the scent of freshness that I've been dying to smell. Felt like rays of shooting stars rushing from Point A to Point B. Rain hitting on my windows sounded the closest to waves hitting along the shores of your seas. I've been thinking of planting Starflowers in the greenhouse seeing as to how the rain system is now working. The space station is increasing its traces of you. It's starting to become more intelligent, more sentimental towards your touch. I'm here in the Greenhouse. Drinking our latte. Listening to the sound of waves. Thinking of how's life down there, in your world. This is Detail Three. From Astronaut to Whale. Rain is here.
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Detail Two. Pavillion. 17.08.19 You heard the cries of my wings trying to break through those little chains. Teach me how to flap them. It's been too long that I forgot that I was once an Angel. Gently, soothing the soreness of my shouldered weights. Belief, that my wings won't fail me. Hear, the voice that I struggle to speak. Then. 27.09.19 I hear you. I'm coming. Wait for me. Death of the Flower. Death of the Dowager. Life of Love. Life of Life. I hear your cries for the lost you encountered. How are you? Don't hold back. Not in front of me. Vacuum pack the emotions. Let's ship it out into space after checking it. I know you are in the ocean, I'll drop by and collect the parcel. Let it flow among the stars forever. Because, Always under the same sky. This is Detail Two. From Astronaut to Whale. I hear you.
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Detail One. Space Station. 09.07.19. Astronaut. Whale. Space. Stars. Seas. WCP. Bacon. Sushi. Strawberries. Our memories like star dusts coming together. Our stories written by among the stars. It's not about the astronaut in the whale's territory or vice versa. It's about finding out that two different worlds are not so different after all. We, a word that I'm starting to like. Our, a simple word that holds both of our worlds. Just like the astronauts love stars, my world have a star named after you. That star, shines brighter than then anything in my world. Making the sunflo- no. Starflowers healthier than never before. Random new creations from Astronaut that makes the Whale so whaling to listen, to understand, to enjoy. This is Detail One. From Astronaut to Whale. Do you copy?
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Silence. Your deafening cacophony absence of voice silenced my oh-so-desperate soul. The soul that is dying to sing a song, for you, for us, for the world. No. You said, Silence. There can't be any silence when silence alone is a sound. The vastness of space that so needed to be heard. So ready to be inhaled by my soul. The silence you thought was the way to feed my soul, sliced them into pieces you never thought was possible. The tearing of soul. The sound of blood dripping. My soul writhed in pain. There was no silence from the day my soul met yours.
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NYC. The city that never sleeps. The city where dreams takes place. The City of Chances. Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. Your thoughts flood the streets of NYC. Too many. Too loud. Never sleeping. Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. Your love for music as forms of escape from NYC. No reception Empire State Building. Yet, the world still manages to find you. Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. Your occasional dreams for the future; like those little yellow cabs of NYC. Comes faster than light. Goes silently like wind. Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. You aim to be like NY Yankees. Perfect game. Minimal dirt. Stunning homeruns. But love, you are going to get dirty. You are going to have to put yourself out there. Take the chances. Don't give up. Enjoy the game. Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. There's still the kid in you. I know there are days where you just want to dance. A flashmob in the middle of Times Square. Fear crippling your limbs from doing so. Why? Never have I thought that you would be my NYC. I thought, NYC was a fun place to be with. Turns out.. it's just like any other place. Superficial warm. Still, the same.
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We're like the Sun and the Moon. Same sky but different purpose; So similar yet so different. We're like Coke and Pepsi. Close competitors. Always pushing each other to be better. Just, close substitutes. We're like Balloons. He against CO2. They expand the rubber. Yet, always chemically different. We're like Bulls and Lakers. Same purpose but we will never be on the same team. Chicago Bulls. LA Lakers. No. Body. Asked. Such NBA. We're so similar yet so different. Have you wondered, maybe As the moon, the Stars suit you better. At least, we exist in the same sky.
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13.03.19 The look in your eyes Sliced my soul, shut my voice, shatter my hope. through the look in your eyes; I see the dead of life. When death meets life, Only one can live. Life still lost.
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