selflessanatta

[selflessanatta]

Balancing Act: Striking the Right Harmony Between Worldly Ambitions and Spiritual Needs, https://selflessanatta.com/balancing-act-striking-the-right-harmony-between-worldly-ambitions-and-spiritual-needs/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/balancing-act-striking-the-right-harmony-between-worldly-ambitions-and-spiritual-needs/

Balancing Act: Striking the Right Harmony Between Worldly Ambitions and Spiritual Needs

Each person must find their own balance point between pursing worldly goals and finding inner peace.

My apologies for the slow pace of new posts lately. I haven’t lost my enthusiasm, nor have I run out of material. Over the last three weeks, my life circumstances made it necessary to focus on worldly matters.

I could have made other choices. However, the consequences of inaction or inattention would have been more than I wanted to endure.

Sometimes, I wish I were a monk, only concerned about my robe and my begging bowl.

Balance or One-Sided?

Worldly ambitions and spiritual goals rarely align. Most spiritual practices seek to quiet the mind and increase empathy and caring for others. Most worldly pursuits seek to engage the mind and increase selfishness and personal pleasure.

When you lead a spirit-centered life, you often feel like you are swimming upstream, counter to the news and trends in society.

It’s helpful to visualize spiritual practices and worldly pursuits as a continuum with purity on either extreme. Each person must find a balance point somewhere on this continuum where their worldly concerns and spiritual life meet.

For monks and nuns, they aspire to the extreme. Some orders forbid possessions, sex, or any connection to this life to get them to focus exclusively on serving God or preparing for Nirvana.

For most people, they live with an attitude of you-only-live-once, so they pursue worldly goals with reckless abandon, often with little regard for how others are impacted by their behavior. Sadly, most of the world is gathered at this extreme.

Have you ever wondered why most religious orders have monks and nuns take oaths of celibacy? Does God have something against sex?

Realistically, sexual relationships bring in attachments to worldly pursuits, and rarely do they quiet the mind—in case you didn’t notice. If the goal of the practitioner or devotee is to deepen their spiritual connection to God or to quiet their mind, sexual relationships are merely a distraction. That’s why most religious orders forbid it.

For me personally, my balance point is more toward the spiritual side, but I am not an extremist. I am not a monk, nor do I aspire to be one. I own a nice house, and I enjoy playing golf, all of which are part of my worldly pleasures.

While I believe aspiring to the extreme of spirituality is a laudable goal, it’s important to recognize that reaching that extreme may not be realistic in this lifetime, and each person needs to seek out and accept their point of balance.

My distracting personal projects are winding down, and I will be picking up the pace on my writing soon. Thank you for your patience.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Taking (aka Tonglen), https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-taking-aka-tonglen/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-taking-aka-tonglen/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Taking (aka Tonglen)

Tonglen meditation involves visualizing the suffering of others as dark smoke absorbed into the heart, where it is purified and transformed into light, then radiated outward.

In Buddhist psychology, there are three fundamental reactions to the experience of any phenomenon.

Whenever we encounter something pleasant, we tend to want more of it, which leads to the suffering of attachment.

Whenever we encounter something neutral, we often fail to notice it or consider it unimportant, which leads to the suffering of ignorance or indifference.

And Whenever we encounter something unpleasant, we tend to want less of it, push it away, and develop an aversion, which leads to the suffering of anger.

If one were to examine their day to day experiences of objects, they would find a small percentage is pleasant, far more are neutral, and the largest share is actually unpleasant. It isn’t necessarily that every encounter is unpleasant, but even those experiences that are pleasant or neutral can become unpleasant due to attachment and ignorance which often accompanies them.

The Buddha noted in the First Noble Truth that suffering is the natural state of the human condition.

Human Suffering: Understanding Dukkha in the First Noble Truth

Since suffering is an inherently unpleasant experience, many people develop a strong aversion to it. In fact, one of the primary motivations of Buddhist practice is to escape the ordinary suffering of human life.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Renunciation for Samsara

Once a practitioner develops the desire to leave the sufferings of Samsara behind, they enter the Buddhist path. For Mahayana Buddhists, the Lamrim path leads them to find enlightenment through cultivating compassion for others.

The first eight steps in Lamrim encourage the practitioner to value others equally and with more regard than themselves. The ninth step is designed to deepen the connection and compassion for others by feeling their pain without pushing it away or developing aversion to it.

Taking Meditation (AKA Tonglen)

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, the meditation of “Taking” (also known as Tonglen) is a profound and compassionate practice aimed at transforming suffering and developing loving-kindness and compassion.

The practice begins with the recognition of suffering, both one’s own and that of others. Practitioners acknowledge the universal nature of suffering in samsara (the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth).

Practitioners then focus on the suffering of others, imagining it vividly and empathizing deeply with their pain and difficulties. This contemplation helps cultivate genuine empathy and compassion.

During the meditation, individuals visualize taking in the suffering of others as they inhale. This act symbolizes the willingness to bear the suffering of others and transform it into a source of purification and healing.

As practitioners breathe in the suffering of others, they imagine that this suffering is transformed into a bright, healing light at the heart center. This process signifies the alchemical transformation of suffering into positive energy.

On the exhalation, practitioners send out love, compassion, and well-wishing to those they have taken suffering from. They envision this positive energy as a healing light that alleviates the suffering and brings happiness to others.

Taking meditation extends to all sentient beings, without discrimination. Practitioners do not limit their practice to a specific group but aspire to alleviate the suffering of all beings, including those they find challenging or difficult.

The act of taking suffering and transforming it fosters spiritual growth by nurturing qualities such as compassion, empathy, and loving-kindness.

Taking meditation is closely linked to the development of Bodhicitta, the altruistic mind that aspires for Buddhahood in order to benefit all sentient beings. It aligns with the Bodhisattva’s commitment to work tirelessly for the welfare of others.

The Bodhisattva Vow: A Path to Compassion and Enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

I wish to liberate all living beings from their suffering. May all the suffering, fears, and challenges faced by every living being ripen upon me, freeing them from enduring these hardships. May all the suffering and struggle of every living being gather as black smoke and disolve into my heart, destroying my self-cherishing. I will transform this black smoke into pure white light through the power of my intention and radiate this strong purifying light into the hearts of all living beings.

Object of Meditation

Having contemplated the above, on each in-breath visualize the black smoke of suffering penetrate your hear, and on the outbreath, visualize the white light shining forth touching every living being. This act of purifying negativity and radiating goodness is the object of meditation.

We should continue this practice with each breath for as long as possible.

Taking meditation is not confined to the meditation cushion but extends to daily life. It inspires practitioners to feel the suffering and wish goodness upon others in all their interactions.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the meditation of Taking involve the compassionate act of willingly bearing the suffering of others and transforming it into positive energy, love, and well-wishing.

This practice is a powerful means of developing empathy, compassion, and Bodhicitta, ultimately leading to the alleviation of suffering and the attainment of enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Great Compassion, https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-great-compassion/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-great-compassion/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Great Compassion

Great Compassion in Lamrim is the profound desire to free all sentient beings from suffering, seeing their pain as one’s own and striving for their ultimate happiness.

The first seven steps on the Great Scope of Lamrim focused on people, with the final step being the complete exchange of self with other. Lamrim teachings take this approach because it’s easier for people to relate to other people. When considering emotions like affectionate love, it can be challenging to generate much intensity for an earthworm.

Once practitioners arrive at the point where they can hold all humans to equally high regard, higher than they regard themselves, the next step is to extend that same caring and compassion to all living beings without exception, including earthworms.

Meditation on Great Compassion

Great Compassion is considered the very heart of the Mahayana Buddhist path. It goes beyond ordinary compassion and encompasses an unwavering dedication to alleviating the suffering of all sentient beings equally, without discrimination.

Practitioners of Great Compassion aspire for the complete freedom from suffering and the attainment of lasting happiness for all beings, not just for oneself or a limited circle of loved ones. It transcends personal preferences and extends even to those considered adversaries.

The practice of Great Compassion involves deep contemplation of the suffering endured by all beings in samsara, including birth, aging, sickness, death, and various forms of physical and mental anguish. Great Compassion includes the aspiration for the ultimate liberation of all beings from the cycle of samsara (birth and rebirth) and their attainment of enlightenment.

Practitioners of Great Compassion strive to empathetically identify with the suffering of others, feeling it as if it were their own. This identification deepens the commitment to alleviate the suffering of all beings.

Great Compassion naturally reduces self-centeredness and self-cherishing attitudes. It redirects the focus from one’s own needs and desires to the well-being of others, dismantling ego-clinging.

Great Compassion motivates individuals to engage in altruistic actions, both in thought and deed, with the aim of benefiting others and contributing to their spiritual awakening.

The Practice of Giving: Understanding Generosity as a Core Buddhist Virtue

Great Compassion is a pivotal element in the Bodhisattva’s journey to Buddhahood. It propels the Bodhisattva to develop the perfections (paramitas) and engage in practices that lead to enlightenment for the sake of all sentient beings.

Exploring the Six Perfections: Transforming Mind and Spirit by Embracing Buddhist Virtues

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

I feel the suffering of countless other beings, trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth, aging, sickness and death. They must bear the sufferings of physical and mental pain in this life and countless future lives. I must permanently alleviate their pain and liberate them from their suffering.

Object of Meditation

When we feel the suffering of all living beings and the determination to liberate them from their pain arises, this determination to liberate all beings from suffering is the object of medtiation.

We should hold this feeling in our heart for as long as possible. When we arise from meditation, we should feel this determination arise with each being we encounter in daily life.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on Great Compassion highlight the aspiration to alleviate the suffering of all sentient beings and guide them towards liberation and enlightenment. It represents the pinnacle of compassion and is considered a transformative force that leads to selfless service, the Bodhisattva ideal, and the ultimate goal of Buddhahood for the benefit of all beings.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Exchanging Self with Others, http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-exchanging-self-with-others/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-exchanging-self-with-others/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Exchanging Self with Others

Challenging the ego-centric perspective, promoting a shift towards universal compassion and the aspiration to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim is the path to enlightenment. It’s a step-by-step emotional journey from ruthless self-centeredness, the natural human condition, to a compassionate focus on the needs and wants of others.

It’s not a quick and easy transformation, but if one travels the path, over and over again, eventually, even the hardest heart will transform.

The first step on the journey is to understand that in order to feel compassion for all living beings, one must learn to treat others equally.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

The second step is to recognize the feelings of affectionate love you want to cultivate for all living beings. The traditional Buddhist approach is to start with mother love, a nearly universal experience, even if not recognized as such. If the mother relationship is strained, others can be substituted, but it would be wise to heal the mother relationship as well.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

Are You Ready to Forgive Your Mother?

The first two steps reveal the destination of the journey. The third step it to begin extrapolating the love for mother to all living beings.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings

The fourth, fifth, and sixth steps are designed to help overcome common barriers encountered on the journey.

People must learn to treat others equally, but that does not mean equally lowly. Practitioners must learn that they shouldn’t value their own needs and wants over others.

Most people resist valuing others as highly as themselves, so Tibetan Lamrim prompts practitioners to meditate on the specific disadvantages of valuing themselves so highly and the advantages of valuing others.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Equalizing Self with Others

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Disadvantages of Self-Cherishing

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Advantages of Cherishing Others

The seventh step is a huge emotional leap, impossible to make or even comprehend without the preceding steps on the journey.

It’s like the Apollo moon program where they made several missions into earth orbit to prepare themselves for Apollo 8 where they orbited the moon.

Exchanging self with others is akin to an emotional moonshot.

Exchanging self with others

Exchanging self with others is an advanced practice that goes beyond cherishing others and involves a profound shift in perspective and attitude. This practice encourages practitioners to view the welfare and happiness of others as more important than their own.

The core principle of exchanging self with others is to shift the center of one’s concern from oneself to all sentient beings. Practitioners aim to prioritize the well-being and happiness of others above their own.

Exchanging self with others involves developing profound empathy. Practitioners strive to understand and share in the feelings, experiences, and suffering of others as if they were their own.

This practice works to eliminate self-centeredness and ego-clinging. Practitioners consciously let go of self-cherishing attitudes and the belief that their own happiness is more important than others’.

Exchanging self with others naturally leads to the cultivation of compassion and altruism. The genuine wish to alleviate the suffering and promote the happiness of others becomes the driving force behind all actions.

The practice of exchanging self with others integrates loving-kindness (Metta) meditation. Practitioners generate boundless love and goodwill for all beings, transcending personal preferences.

This practice reduces and eventually eliminates negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, and pride. These emotions are rooted in self-centeredness and are gradually replaced by qualities like patience and humility.

Exchanging self with others fosters forgiveness and tolerance. Practitioners become more forgiving of others’ faults and more patient with their shortcomings.

Forgiveness: Choosing to Overcome Anger and Resentment

Exchanging self with others is considered a profound step on the path to enlightenment (Buddhahood). It aligns with the Bodhisattva ideal, where one aspires to attain Buddhahood not only for oneself but to guide all sentient beings to liberation from suffering.

The Bodhisattva Vow: A Path to Compassion and Enlightenment in Tibetan Buddhism

My son is my Holy Spiritual Guide

I am the parent of a special needs son, currently age 22. It was apparent early on, that he wasn’t typical. At 18 months, we realized he was moderately to severely autistic. I had to learn to accept him and the situation.

Every spiritual realization I have is from working with him. I owe him everything.

My primary work with him is to practice complete Exchanging Self with Other, abandoning my own will to fulfill his.

In some ways, the practice is very simple, but truly surrendering to the process completely can be very difficult.

I likely would never have thought of this practice if not for Lamrim.

I don’t merely try to “put myself in his shoes;” that’s only part of the way.

I don’t imagine what he wants, weigh it against what I want, and try to compromise. That’s half-assed.

While consideration is essential for Kindness, a virtue, it falls short of the mark I set for this practice.

I ignore what I Want as useless information. (Difficulty 10) This never gets easier… well, maybe a little, but you never master it.

I give him 100% of my undivided attention for as long as possible. Completely undivided. (Difficulty 5) This is merely focused concentration, something I should always practice.

I determine what he wants, exercise my wisdom on appropriateness, and then practice Giving. (Difficulty: Currently 0, Previously 10). This area improves dramatically with practice. It’s also just good parenting.

This practice is both easy and challenging, exhausting and exhilarating if you do it moment by moment without a break.

I don’t exchange once for a moment, watch a movie to please myself, and then go back to see what’s happening. That’s not it.

It takes focused concentration until I permit him to practice Mario Kart or engage in some other activity by himself briefly while I recharge.

As a side benefit, he demonstrates the Qi value of Play, warming my heart.

I find the practice so rewarding, Qi inducing, that I find the times of recharge are fewer and shorter.

That happens with practice. Everything gets better.

He’s autistic, so I can’t spoil him; I can practice whenever I want.

He likes it.

A week together

I went on a seven day vacation just the two of us. I spent all seven days on a spiritual retreat of sorts with him. Each moment of each day, I asked myself what I would want to do if I were him. I didn’t allow myself to even ask myself what I would want. I considered all the available activities and exclusively selected what I thought would bring him the most joy.

It was one of the best experiences of my life, not because I had fun doing things I enjoy, but I lived vicariously through him, and experienced joy to a depth I had not previously known.

In some ways the practice is easier with a special needs person because you know they can’t take advantage of you or become spoiled, but in some ways it’s harder because it takes a great deal of focus and attention to keep him engaged constantly.

I highly recommend the practice.

Meditation on Exchanging Self with Other

The meditation is designed to motivate practice. It’s an extended contemplation the recaps the Lamrim journey through this point and focuses on the determination to engage in the practice.

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

I have lived this life an countless previous lives in slavish devotion to my selfish mind, obeying its commands, pursuing its wants without question. I’ve cultivated a mind of self-importance believing the way to solve my problems and be happy is to put myself first. I’ve worked hard for eons, yet I have nothing to show for it. I haven’t solved my problems, and I am not happy. It’s clear that pursing my own selfish interests is a fool’s errand, a process that inevitably leads to failure. After having indulged my self-cherishing for so long, it’s time to admit that I failed, and I need a new plan. Now is the time to shift the object of my cherishing from myself to others. From here on will will cherish all living beings over myself.

Object of Meditation

Having contemplated the truth above, a strong determination will arise to begin cherishing others. This determination is the object of meditation.

We should hold this feeling in our heart for as long as possible.

When we rise from meditation and encounter people and animals in our daily lives, we should engage in the practice of exchanging self with others.

In summary, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on exchanging self with others involve a profound transformation of one’s perspective and attitude. This practice aims to dissolve self-centeredness, develop deep empathy and compassion, and prioritize the welfare of all sentient beings above one’s own. It is considered an advanced stage of the Mahayana path and a powerful means to attain spiritual awakening and benefit all beings.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Boost Your Focus: Mastering the Art of Concentration with Time-Tested Antidotes to Distraction, https://selflessanatta.com/boost-your-focus-mastering-the-art-of-concentration-with-time-tested-antidotes-to-distraction/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/boost-your-focus-mastering-the-art-of-concentration-with-time-tested-antidotes-to-distraction/

Boost Your Focus: Mastering the Art of Concentration with Time-Tested Antidotes to Distraction

Discover cutting-edge strategies and timeless wisdom to enhance your focus in any endeavor.

Distractions in meditation include (1) Sensual Desire, which is the attachment to sensory pleasures; (2) Ill Will, characterized by negative emotions towards oneself or others; (3) Sloth and Torpor, combining physical and mental sluggishness; (4) Restlessness and Remorse, involving unease and regret; and (5) Doubt, regarding the Buddha, his teachings, the Sangha, or one’s path.

To counter Sensual Desire, a practitioner must cultivate contentment, renunciation, or mindfulness of impermanence, practices that encourage satisfaction with the present and understanding that happiness isn’t found in external desires.

Against Ill Will, a practitioner must cultivate loving-kindness and compassion, positive states that foster goodwill and understanding, shifting the mind away from negativity.

To combat Sloth and Torpor, a practitioner must cultivate energy and mindful alertness to invigorate their practice and clear mental fog, thus enhancing focus and alertness.

For Restlessness and Remorse, a practitioner must cultivate calmness and mindfulness, practices that induce tranquility and allow one to observe and let go of agitated states.

Lastly, a practitioner must cultivate faith and wisdom to overcome doubt and provide emotional support and clarity, encouraging a confident and informed spiritual practice.

Navigating Through the Fog: Understanding the Five Hindrances to Peace of Mind

Distractions from meditation practice

Sensual Desire (kāmacchanda): Attachment to pleasing sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and physical sensations.

Ill Will (vyāpāda): Also known as aversion or malice, this refers to negative feelings towards others or oneself, including anger, resentment, hostility, bitterness, and even subtle forms of annoyance.

Sloth and Torpor (thīna-middha): This hindrance combines physical lethargy or sluggishness (thīna) with mental dullness or lack of clarity (middha).

Restlessness and Remorse (uddhacca-kukkucca): Restlessness (uddhacca) is a state of agitation or anxiety where the mind cannot settle; it flits from thought to thought without focus. Remorse (kukkucca) involves regret over past actions or anxiety about the future.

Doubt (vicikicchā): Skepticism or uncertainty about the Buddha, his teachings (Dharma), the monastic community (Sangha), or one’s own ability to follow the path.

Opponent to the distraction of sensual desire

Being drawn to sensual desire constitutes a barrier. This obstacle involves a yearning for sensory delights that diverts the mind from its meditative concentration, luring it away to pursue external objects that it finds desirable.

The primary opponent or antidote to the meditation distraction of sensual desire (kāmacchanda) in Buddhist practice is the cultivation of contentment, renunciation, or mindfulness of impermanence. Here’s how these principles work as effective antidotes:

Contentment: Cultivating a sense of contentment involves appreciating what you have in the present moment and letting go of the constant craving for more or different experiences. It means finding satisfaction in the simplicity and immediacy of life, reducing the pull of external desires.

Renunciation: This does not necessarily mean giving up all worldly possessions or pleasures but rather developing a deeper understanding that true happiness and satisfaction cannot be found in external objects or sensory pleasures. Renunciation is the realization that clinging to these desires leads to suffering and distracts from the path to enlightenment. It encourages a shift in focus from external gratification to inner peace and spiritual development.

Mindfulness of Impermanence (Anicca): Recognizing the impermanent nature of all things, including our desires and the objects of those desires, helps to loosen the grip of sensual craving. By reflecting on how sensory pleasures are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfactory, one can reduce their allure and the tendency to chase after them. This mindfulness practice encourages a deeper engagement with the present moment and a detachment from the endless pursuit of sensory satisfaction.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Death and Impermanence

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Renunciation for Samsara

Opponent to the distraction of anger and aversion

Referred to as aversion or malice, this entails harboring negative emotions towards oneself or others, such as anger, resentment, hostility, bitterness, and even minor irritations. Ill will impedes concentration by cluttering the mind with harmful thoughts and feelings.

The primary opponent or antidote to the distraction of anger and aversion in Buddhist practice is the cultivation of loving-kindness (Metta) and compassion (Karuna). These positive mental states directly counteract the negativity and hostility associated with anger and aversion by fostering feelings of goodwill, empathy, and understanding towards oneself and others. Here’s how these principles work as effective antidotes:

Loving-Kindness (Metta): This involves actively cultivating feelings of unconditional love and kindness towards all beings, including oneself, friends, neutrals, and even enemies. By focusing on wishing happiness and well-being for others, the mind shifts away from anger and ill will to a state of generosity and benevolence.

Compassion (Karuna): Compassion goes beyond simply wishing well for others; it involves empathizing with their suffering and wishing for it to be alleviated. By practicing compassion, one becomes more understanding and less likely to react with anger or aversion to the actions of others, recognizing that everyone is trying to overcome their own suffering.

Incorporating practices such as Metta meditation into one’s routine can significantly reduce the frequency and intensity of anger and aversion, leading to more peaceful and harmonious interactions with the world.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

Turning Anger into Peace: The Transformative Practice of Patient Acceptance

Opponent to the distraction of sloth and torpor

This obstacle is a blend of physical inertia or torpor (thīna) and a mental state of confusion or fuzziness (middha). It appears as an absence of vigor or zeal for engaging in practice, resulting in feelings of fatigue, a tendency to fall asleep, and a difficulty in maintaining mental concentration.

The primary opponent or antidote to the distraction of sloth (physical lethargy) and torpor (mental dullness) in Buddhist practice is the cultivation of energy (viriya) and mindful alertness. Applying these principles effectively counteracts the heaviness and fog that characterize sloth and torpor. Here’s how they operate as effective remedies:

Energy (Viriya): This involves arousing a sense of enthusiasm, effort, and perseverance in one’s practice. It’s about actively engaging in meditation or mindfulness activities with determination and vigor. Cultivating energy helps to overcome the physical lethargy and inertia associated with sloth.

Mindful Alertness: This is the practice of maintaining a state of keen awareness and attentiveness to the present moment. By being fully alert and mindful, one can dispel the mental dullness or fog that defines torpor. Mindful alertness encourages the mind to be awake, clear, and sharply focused.

Incorporating practices that stimulate physical and mental energy, such as walking meditation, mindful breathing, or visualization techniques that invigorate the mind, can help overcome sloth and torpor. Additionally, adjusting one’s posture, taking deep breaths, or engaging in light physical activity can also be beneficial in dispelling these hindrances and restoring alertness and focus to the practice.

Buddhist Meditations on Virtue: The Key to Transforming the Heart

Exploring the Six Perfections: Transforming Mind and Spirit by Embracing Buddhist Virtues

Opponent to the distraction of restlessness and remorse

Restlessness (uddhacca) manifests as a condition of unease or nervousness, making it difficult for the mind to remain steady; it jumps from one idea to another, lacking concentration. Remorse (kukkucca) is characterized by feelings of guilt for things done in the past or worry about what lies ahead. Combined, these elements obstruct the mind’s ability to achieve tranquility and focus.

The primary opponent to the distraction of restlessness and remorse in Buddhist practice is the cultivation of calmness and mindfulness. These principles are applied to counteract the agitation and unease that characterize restlessness, as well as the guilt or regret stemming from remorse. Here’s how these antidotes work:

Calmness (Samatha): Developing inner calm through concentration and meditation practices helps to settle the mind and body. Techniques such as focusing on the breath, practicing loving-kindness meditation, or using visualization can induce a state of tranquility, alleviating restlessness.

Mindfulness: This involves being fully present and aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment. Mindfulness allows individuals to observe their restlessness and remorse without becoming entangled in them. It helps in understanding the impermanent nature of these states, enabling a person to let go of them more easily.

By incorporating mindfulness and calmness into one’s daily practice, it becomes possible to reduce the waves of restlessness and the weight of remorse, leading to a more balanced and focused mind.

Mindfulness Meditation Mastery: A Journey to Observing, Directing, and Sustaining Mental Focus

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

Opponent to the distraction of doubt

Doubt arises from skepticism or hesitation regarding the Buddha, his teachings (Dharma), the community of monks (Sangha), or one’s personal capacity to adhere to the spiritual path. This uncertainty can immobilize one’s practice, leading to reluctance in fully dedicating oneself to meditation or the adherence to Buddhist principles.

The primary opponent to the meditation distraction of doubt in Buddhist practice is the cultivation of faith (saddhā) and wisdom (paññā). These principles help to overcome the uncertainty and skepticism that can hinder progress in meditation. Here’s how they serve as effective antidotes:

Faith (Saddhā): This involves developing a confident trust in the Buddha, the Dharma (the teachings), and the Sangha (the community of practitioners). Faith is not blind belief but a reasoned trust based on understanding and experience. It provides the emotional support needed to continue practicing despite doubts.

Wisdom (Paññā): Wisdom comes from direct understanding and insight into the nature of reality, as taught in the Dharma. It involves discerning the truth of the teachings through study, reflection, and meditation. Wisdom dispels doubt by providing clarity and understanding, which counteracts the confusion and indecision that doubt brings.

By strengthening faith and wisdom, practitioners can navigate through doubts about their practice, the teachings, or their ability to attain enlightenment. These qualities together encourage a more confident and informed approach to meditation and spiritual development.

True Cessations: The Transformative Journey of the Third Noble Truth

Emptiness of Self: The Key to Buddhist Enlightenment

People who meditate are called practitioners because we engage in a regular spiritual practice. The practice isn’t a means to an end, it’s an end onto itself. Techniques such as these are an integral part of that practice as they are essential to improvement and obtaining the results we are after.

~~Wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Navigating Through the Fog: Understanding the Five Hindrances to Peace of Mind, https://selflessanatta.com/navigating-through-the-fog-understanding-the-five-hindrances-to-peace-of-mind/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/navigating-through-the-fog-understanding-the-five-hindrances-to-peace-of-mind/

Navigating Through the Fog: Understanding the Five Hindrances to Peace of Mind

An insightful look into how the classical obstacles of Buddhism relate to modern challenges in meditation and mindfulness.

Most people’s minds are a jumble of disturbing thoughts, moods that rise and fall like waves in stormy seas, and high levels of anxiety. This is not a failing; it’s the natural human condition.

Peace of mind is the opposite, and it’s only obtained through effort, concentration, and application of the opponents to mental disturbance.

Peace of mind, often associated with practices like meditation, mindfulness, and other forms of stress management, brings a multitude of practical benefits that can significantly enhance one’s quality of life.

Benefits of a peaceful mind

Though it seems intuitively obvious that peace of mind is preferable to a disturbed mind, most people don’t realize the practical benefits, so they lack the motivation to try to obtain it.

Peace of mind will improve physical health by reducing chronic stress, which is linked to numerous health issues, including heart disease, hypertension, and weakened immune function.

Peace of mind contributes to reduced levels of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, instead cultivating a state of well-being and contentment, making it easier to cope with life’s ups and downs. A disciplined mind is less subject to the ups and downs or irrational exuberance or spiraling despair.

Peace of mind improves the quality of sleep, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep throughout the night. A disturbed mind demands energy and attention at all hours of day and night.

Peace of mind improves concentration and focus, leading to increased productivity and the ability to handle complex tasks with greater ease. Competing thoughts, particularly disturbing ones, impair judgement, and slow the processing of routing mental tasks.

Peace of mind allows for clearer thinking and better judgment, leading to more effective decision-making.

Peace of mind clears away the mental clutter, allowing for the free flow of creative ideas and fosters an environment where imagination can flourish, potentially leading to innovative solutions and artistic expressions.

Peace of mind enhances emotional intelligence and empathy, leading to better communication and healthier relationships. A peaceful mind naturally focuses on the needs and wants of others because attention on the self is not required.

Peace of mind increases one’s ability to handle stress and recover from adversity. It fosters a positive outlook and a stronger sense of inner strength, making it easier to bounce back from challenges.

A peaceful mind is a powerful mind.

Peace of mind is closely linked to higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction. It allows individuals to enjoy the present moment, appreciate life’s pleasures, and cultivate a sense of gratitude.

Concentration, Meditation, and Peace of Mind

In order to obtain peace of mind, one must gain a degree of control over one’s attention, learn mental discipline, and embark on a regular meditation practice. All this requires concentration.

Mindfulness Meditation Mastery: A Journey to Observing, Directing, and Sustaining Mental Focus

Meditation Unleashed: Going Beyond Mindfulness for Greater Insight and Transformation

The five hindrances to peace of mind

In Buddhism, distractions from concentration are often referred to as the “Five Hindrances” (Pāli: pañca nīvaraṇāni). These hindrances are considered obstacles to meditation and the development of concentration (samādhi) and insight (vipassanā) which leads to peace of mind. Overcoming these hindrances is crucial for attaining and sustaining peace of mind.

Sensual Desire (kāmacchanda): Attachment to pleasing sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and physical sensations.

This hindrance is about the craving for sensory pleasures, which distracts the mind from the meditative focus and pulls it towards external objects of desire.

Have you ever tried to meditate and found yourself instead indulging in sexual fantasy, mentally shopping for your next car, or dreaming about some wonderful vacation? That’s a problem. A very common one.

Ill Will (vyāpāda): Also known as aversion or malice, this refers to negative feelings towards others or oneself, including anger, resentment, hostility, bitterness, and even subtle forms of annoyance.

Ill will distracts from concentration by filling the mind with unwholesome thoughts and emotions.

Have you ever experienced what Eckhart Tolle calls a pain body episode? It happens when some event upsets you, and then one thought triggers another, setting off a chain reaction of emotionally charged thoughts that take over. It’s nearly impossible to meditate when the pain body is in control.

Sloth and Torpor (thīna-middha): This hindrance combines physical lethargy or sluggishness (thīna) with mental dullness or lack of clarity (middha).

It manifests as a lack of energy or enthusiasm for practice, leading to drowsiness, sleepiness, and an inability to focus the mind.

Have you ever sat down to meditate and fallen asleep, or become so drowsy that you lost all awareness of what’s transpiring in your mind?

It’s perhaps the most common problem in meditation, particularly since we tend to practice with our eyes closed sitting motionless.

Restlessness and Remorse (uddhacca-kukkucca): Restlessness (uddhacca) is a state of agitation or anxiety where the mind cannot settle; it flits from thought to thought without focus. Remorse (kukkucca) involves regret over past actions or anxiety about the future. Together, they prevent the mind from becoming still and concentrated.

Most beginning meditators experience “Monkey Mind,” the awareness of the cacophony of thoughts ordinarily relegated to the subconscious mind. Without mental disipline and concentration, attention will drift from one thought to another, generally following the path of highest emotional charge. This is also why pain body episodes are so distracting.

Doubt (vicikicchā): Skepticism or uncertainty about the Buddha, his teachings (Dharma), the monastic community (Sangha), or one’s own ability to follow the path.

Doubt can paralyze practice by making one hesitant to commit fully to meditation or to following the teachings.

Most beginning meditators suffer from doubt in their ability to accomplish the task. Many observe the chaos of Monkey Mind and conclude they simply can’t meditate.

This is sad because it’s simply not true. Meditation requires no special ability.

Overcoming hindrances to peace of mind

Overcoming these hindrances involves a variety of practices and techniques, including mindfulness, ethical conduct, understanding the impermanent nature of experiences, and developing wisdom and compassion.

As practitioners work through these obstacles, their ability to concentrate improves, leading to deeper states of meditation and progress on the path to enlightenment and attaining peace of mind.

The quest for peace of mind often involves self-reflection and mindfulness practices that can lead to profound personal growth and self-discovery. It encourages individuals to explore their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, fostering a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world.

~~Wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Reclaiming Spirituality: How Emotional Entitlement Undermines Gratitude and Compassion, https://selflessanatta.com/reclaiming-spirituality-how-emotional-entitlement-undermines-gratitude-and-compassion/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/reclaiming-spirituality-how-emotional-entitlement-undermines-gratitude-and-compassion/

Reclaiming Spirituality: How Emotional Entitlement Undermines Gratitude and Compassion

Everyone should undergo an entitlement detox and cleanse their spirit to cultivate gratitude and compassion.

The Mahayana path in Buddhism focuses a practitioner on developing compassion so that when enlightenment is achieved, the practitioner will not be trapped in personal bliss and instead work to benefit other beings. Without this compassion training, many who find inner peace spend their lives in solitude and do little to improve the world.

With extensive training in compassion, enlightened beings become a powerful force for good, enriching all beings they come in contact with.

The Enlightened Debate: Can Self-Centered Motives Lead to True Awakening?

The Mahayana path is a step-by-step process of building compassion from the basis of affectionate love for mother and family and extending that love to all living beings. Each step on the path is essential to arrive at the proper destination, full enlightenment.

People all have a unique Karma and life experience. Often these factors can contribute to spiritual growth, even if the choices were unwise and the experiences negative and painful.

However, sometimes, people can develop barriers to personal growth caused by faulty beliefs that prevent them from taking the proper steps forward.

The Path to Enlightenment

The Mahayana path can be conceived as many related steps as follows:

Remembering the affectionate love of your mother or close family member. Traditionally, Buddhists focus on a mother’s love, but for those with a poor mother relationship, a grandparent, extended family member, or even a close friend can serve as this basis. The important point is to vividly remember the feelings of mutual affectionate love, preferably not sexual love which is often laden with attachment.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

Are You Ready to Forgive Your Mother?

Recognizing the kindness of your mother or special person, and imagining that every person you meet was special to you in a previous life. Just because you don’t remember their kindness doesn’t mean you were not the recipient of their affectionate love and kindness at some point in the past. This allows you to extend the love of your mother to other people.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings

Once you recognize the kindness you received from others, feelings of gratitude and the desire to repay that kindness will naturally arise. Some people feel blocked here by feelings of lack or jealousy. Those people will need more work on applying the opponents of giving and rejoicing.

The Practice of Giving: Understanding Generosity as a Core Buddhist Virtue

The Joyful Cure: How Rejoicing Leads to the Cessation of Jealousy

Once you feel the wish to repay the kindness of others, and you’ve extended that wish to all living beings, you feel universal love.

From universal love springs compassion, the desire to see all beings be freed from pain and suffering.

From compassion springs wholehearted resolve to alleviate the pain and suffering all all living beings.

The only known method for alleviating suffering of all beings is to obtain enlightenment. Therefore, the wholehearted resolve to liberate all beings becomes the wholehearted resolve to obtain enlightenment. Buddhists call this feeling Bodhicitta, the key element of the Mahayana path.

Enlightenment is only achieved when you have the wholehearted desire to achieve it.

The Barrier Built by a Sense of Emotional Entitlement

An emotional sense of entitlement refers to a pervasive belief that one deserves more or is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment, without regard to others’ needs or efforts.

This mindset is often characterized by unrealistic expectations for favorable treatment and an excessive focus on one’s own desires and rights, at the expense of consideration, empathy, and reciprocity towards others.

Individuals with a strong sense of entitlement may exhibit frustration, anger, or disappointment when their expectations are not met, and they may struggle to acknowledge or appreciate the contributions and needs of others.

This attitude can hinder personal relationships, professional environments, and personal growth, as it opposes the development of virtues like gratitude, compassion, and humility, which are essential for healthy, balanced emotional and spiritual development.

In order to overcome this problem, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim has special teachings and meditations intended to reduce one’s self importance and increase the importance one places on the happiness of other beings.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Disadvantages of Self-Cherishing

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Advantages of Cherishing Others

Emotional entitlement is directly opposed to gratitude. Anyone who feels entitled to whatever they receive perceives the kind acts of others as the compelled act of a debtor.

Where they should perceive kindness, instead they perceive obligation.

This stops the natural arising of the desire to repay kindness, and the entire step-by-step progression of spiritual growth is stopped cold.

Anyone who has been in an interpersonal relationship with someone with a sense of entitlement will recognize this effect.

Have you ever given generously to a significant other, and instead of receiving thanks or feeling of gratitude, you feel like you weren’t even acknowledged? Did that make you want to be generous in the future?

No one wants to give to someone who feels entitled to the gift. There is no emotional reward, no payback for the kindness.

While some may argue that giving should be completely selfless and without any expectation, it’s also true that when a gift is received humbly and with gratitude, it’s far more rewarding for both the giver and the receiver.

Perhaps the giver should not expect gracious acknowledgment, but when the receiver provides this acknowledgment of the kindness they receive, both parties benefit, and the relationship is strengthened.

As a spiritual practice, acknowledging every benefit you receive as an act of another’s kindness is a superior way to go through life, bringing happiness to yourself and others.

~~Wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Advantages of Cherishing Others, https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-advantages-of-cherishing-others/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-advantages-of-cherishing-others/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Advantages of Cherishing Others

In the pursuit of self, we overlook the path to true fulfillment: embracing the joy of cherishing others above ourselves.

Self-centeredness and Prioritizing Personal Desires

A self-centered person creates a reality that revolves around themselves. Every event, every conversation, every moment of daily life is judged either good, bad, or unimportant based totally on how it effects the individual.

It’s an individualistic perspective that places personal welfare and desires ahead of the well-being of others. This mindset is characterized by a relentless pursuit of personal satisfaction, generally at the expense of communal welfare, and often without regard to the impact on others.

Individuals typically dedicate their existence to seeking personal joy, occasionally allowing others to partake in their journey, yet predominantly with a focus on their own happiness. Their every thought and action is driven by personal desires and the strategies to achieve these aspirations.

The foundation of our economic structure is built on the notion that individuals aggressively chase their selfish goals. In essence, the practice of prioritizing one’s own needs over others’, known as self-centeredness, is deeply ingrained in both individual and collective mindsets.

Despite centuries of individuals chasing their personal goals, true success remains elusive. Some may display an illusion of emotional and financial triumph, showcasing their wealth and achievements in an attempt to appear fulfilled, but this is merely a deception, often perpetrated to convince others that the self-centered person is meritorious.

Even the Buddha, who lived a life of luxury as a prince, found himself discontented. He concluded that inherent dissatisfaction was a fundamental characteristic of the human psyche.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Disadvantages of Self-Cherishing

When I first came into existence as pure, aware consciousness, there was just observation. In the first moment of self-awareness, consciousness observes itself and realizes, “I exist.” Buddhists call this the primordial error. In the next moment comes the feeling, “I am important.” And with it, I gave birth to Selfish Desire, my instinct to survive, and other primal forces needed for individual survival. While this boot-up sequence and deeply instinctual belief is essential for survival, it’s detrimental to happiness as it causes all of me to cherish myself and my desires above all other concerns.

Read full story

Is there a better way?

If we accept that self-centeredness doesn’t work to bring lasting happiness or satisfaction, what should we do instead?

Mostly, we think that if we don’t work to make ourselves happy that no one else will. Therefore, it’s wiser to work for self satisfaction even if it isn’t very efficient. Anything is better than nothing.

Surprisingly enough, that simply isn’t true.

Working to increase the joy and satisfaction of others rather than ourselves is the key to lasting happiness and a deep sense of joy and satisfaction with life.

It takes a leap of faith to make the attempt, but for those who do, the joy they obtain from cherishing others fulfills all their dreams, and it makes everyone they encounter happy as well.

The advantages of cherishing others

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, recognizing the advantages of cherishing others is a pivotal step in cultivating loving-kindness, compassion, and spiritual progress. Cherishing others refers to the attitude of valuing and prioritizing the well-being and happiness of all sentient beings over one’s own.

Cherishing others leads to genuine happiness and well-being. By prioritizing the welfare of all beings, practitioners create a positive and joyful mental state.

Cherishing others diminishes self-centeredness and selfish attitudes. It shifts the focus away from one’s own desires and needs, reducing attachment, ego-clinging, and the anxiety that often accompanies that state.

Cherishing others naturally leads to the development of compassion. When individuals genuinely care about the well-being of others, they are motivated to alleviate the suffering of sentient beings.

Recognizing the advantages of cherishing others motivates practitioners to engage in virtuous actions and altruistic deeds for the benefit of all sentient beings. The practice of cherishing others is a virtuous act that accumulates positive karma. This positive karma leads to favorable circumstances and spiritual progress.

Cherishing others fosters harmonious and meaningful relationships. When individuals prioritize the well-being of others, conflicts and discord are reduced, and genuine connections are formed. People are not naturally drawn to self-centered individuals who only display concern for themselves.

Cherishing others is intimately connected with the cultivation of loving-kindness (Metta), the practice of generating goodwill and love for all beings. This practice contributes to inner peace and the spread of positive energy.

Cherishing others diminishes negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, and pride, which are rooted in self-centeredness. As these emotions decrease, individuals experience greater mental clarity and emotional balance.

Cherishing others is a core component of the Mahayana Buddhist path, leading practitioners toward the aspiration of Buddhahood. Buddhahood is the state of perfect awakening in which one can guide all beings to liberation from suffering.

The Enlightened Debate: Can Self-Centered Motives Lead to True Awakening?

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

When I cherish others, I protect both myself and others from suffering, it brings joy and lasting happiness, and it fulfills the wishes of both myself and others.

Object of Meditation

Contemplating the above, you generate a strong desire to cherish others. This motivation to cherish others is the object of the meditation.

You should hold this feeling for as long as possible, which should feel very enjoyable and uplifiting. If you mind brings up objections and the feeling is lost, return to the contemplation and generate the feelings anew.

In summary, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the advantages of cherishing others highlight the benefits of cultivating a selfless attitude that values the well-being of all sentient beings. This practice leads to greater happiness, harmonious relationships, spiritual progress, and the eventual attainment of enlightenment, making it a central element of the Mahayana path.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Disadvantages of Self-Cherishing, http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-disadvantages-of-self-cherishing/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-disadvantages-of-self-cherishing/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Disadvantages of Self-Cherishing

Chasing individual happiness through selfish means always leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

The Primordial Error

When I first came into existence as pure, aware consciousness, there was just observation.

In the first moment of self-awareness, consciousness observes itself and realizes, “I exist.” Buddhists call this the primordial error.

In the next moment comes the feeling, “I am important.”

And with it, we give birth to Selfish Desire, my instinct to survive, and other primal forces needed for individual survival.

While this boot-up sequence and deeply instinctual belief is essential for survival, it’s detrimental to happiness as it causes all of us to cherish ourselves and our desires above all other concerns.

Self Cherishing

Self-cherishing refers to the self-centered attitude that prioritizes one’s own well-being and desires over the welfare of others.

Most people spend their lives doing whatever they can to make themselves happy. Perhaps others are invited to enjoy the ride, but often their desire for happiness is exclusive to themselves.

Every thought they have is self-centered and focused single-mindedly on what they want and how they plan to obtain whatever they desire.

Our entire economic system is predicated on the idea that individuals ruthlessly purse their selfish ends. In short, self-cherishing, the act of valuing one’s own needs above all others, is deeply embedded into each person and our collective consciousness.

Yet, it doesn’t work.

People have been pursuing their own ends since the beginning of time, yet no one succeeds.

Sure, some people present an outward facade of emotional success, flaunting their income with conspicuous consumption, bragging about their accomplishments, and generally hoping to get others to believe they have it all together.

It’s a fraud.

The Buddha was born a prince, and he had every advantage in life, yet he was not happy. He came to believe innate unhappiness was the nature of the mind itself.

Human Suffering: Understanding Dukkha in the First Noble Truth

The Buddha came to see suffering as the central problem of the human condition, and he correctly reasoned that if suffering impacted his life, given all that was provided for him, then suffering must be a pervasive problem that touches everyone. If he could solve the problem for himself, he would have given his life the meaning and purpose that he felt it lacked, and he would find unshakable happiness and peace of mind independent of his worldly circumstances.

Read full story

Self-Cherishing is the Root of Bad Behavior

If we honestly reflect on our past behavior, we will acknowledge that we have engaged in behaviors that harmed others. While me may find thin rationalizations and justifications for our actions, self-deception doesn’t erase the stains on our hearts.

If we honestly reflect on the reasons for our past misdeeds, we will deduce they all had one thing in common: selfish desire.

Every bad behavior we engage in we do for entirely selfish reasons.

If we carefully considered our actions and how our choices would impact the people around us—and actually valued other’s feelings—we would never place our selfish desires above the needs and wants of others.

We only act badly when we either fail to consider other’s needs and wants, or consider the needs and wants of others to be unimportant.

Self-Cherishing is the Root of Suffering

Self-centeredness has been our downfall across countless lifetimes. Despite our efforts and numerous selfish actions, we haven’t achieved lasting happiness. It’s evident that self-cherishing has misled us.

Now is the time to shift our focus from ourselves to other beings.

So far, we have prioritized ourselves over others, which has perpetuated our suffering. To end this suffering and attain enlightenment, we must start valuing others above ourselves.

Enlightenment is straightforward: prioritize others over oneself, and all spiritual insights will follow. Our natural tendency is to consider ourselves more important than others, but enlightened individuals believe the opposite.

Enlightened beings have found peace and happiness by forsaking self-centeredness and embracing the well-being of others. By following their teachings, we too can find peace.

Learning to Value Others

Changing our mindset won’t happen instantly, but with patience, practice, merit accumulation, purification, and blessings, we can cultivate a genuine concern for all beings.

This transformation doesn’t require a change in lifestyle, but rather in perspective and intent. Our usual view is egocentric, valuing things based on their impact on us.

However, this self-important view is ignorant and doesn’t reflect reality. It leads to selfish actions and endless problems. By embracing teachings that promote a realistic view of the world, recognizing the importance and interconnectedness of all beings, we can foster benevolence towards them.

Cherishing others is achievable. We need to comprehend the reasons for doing so and firmly decide to act on them. Meditating on this decision will deepen our sense of care for all beings, which we should then incorporate into our daily lives.

Meditation on Eliminating Self-Cherishing

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, recognizing the disadvantages of self-cherishing is a crucial step in the development of wisdom, compassion, and spiritual progress.

Lamrim teachings begin by highlighting that self-cherishing is at the root of all selfish thoughts, behaviors, and actions. It is the source of attachment, greed, and harmful actions that lead to suffering for oneself and others.

Self-cherishing creates a barrier to genuine compassion for others. When individuals prioritize their own interests, it becomes challenging to genuinely empathize with and care for the suffering of others.

Self-cherishing obstructs the development of altruism and the wish to benefit others. It reinforces a narrow focus on one’s own needs and desires, often at the expense of others’ well-being.

Self-cherishing hinders the cultivation of loving-kindness (Metta), which involves the generation of goodwill and love for all beings. When self-cherishing is strong, it limits the ability to extend loving-kindness beyond one’s immediate circle.

Self-cherishing gives rise to negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, and pride. These emotions are rooted in self-concern and can lead to destructive actions and suffering for oneself and others.

Self-cherishing feeds attachment to one’s own desires, possessions, and accomplishments. This attachment perpetuates the cycle of suffering by leading to disappointment and dissatisfaction when these desires are unmet.

Self-cherishing is considered an obstacle to spiritual progress. It keeps individuals bound to the cycle of samsara by reinforcing the ego and preventing the development of wisdom and insight.

Self-cherishing can lead to conflicts and discord in relationships and communities. When individuals prioritize their own interests, it can create tension and division, hindering harmonious interactions.

Recognizing the disadvantages of self-cherishing is a key step in the path to liberation and enlightenment. By reducing self-cherishing and cultivating altruism, individuals can work towards freedom from suffering and the realization of their full spiritual potential.

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

My selfish desire is the source of all my negative emotions, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment. The more I pursue happiness through selfish means, the more I become dissatisfied and cause harm to myself and others.

Object of Meditation

Tbrough contemplating the above the strong desire to abandon self-cherishing will arise. This determination is the object of the meditation.

You should hold this determination in your mind for as long as possible.

When you are out of the meditation session, whenever you feel selfish desire arise, you should remind yourself of its many faults.

In summary, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the disadvantages of self-cherishing emphasize the harmful effects of self-centeredness on individuals’ well-being, relationships, and spiritual progress. By understanding these drawbacks, practitioners are encouraged to reduce self-cherishing and develop a more compassionate and altruistic attitude toward all sentient beings. This transformation is seen as essential for genuine spiritual growth and the alleviation of suffering.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

The Enlightened Debate: Can Self-Centered Motives Lead to True Awakening?, https://selflessanatta.com/the-enlightened-debate-can-self-centered-motives-lead-to-true-awakening/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/the-enlightened-debate-can-self-centered-motives-lead-to-true-awakening/

The Enlightened Debate: Can Self-Centered Motives Lead to True Awakening?

Hinayana Buddhists seek enlightenment for themselves, whereas Mahayana Buddhists seek enlightenment in order to benefit others. Which approach is superior?

People pursue religious or spiritual paths for a variety of reasons, but two reasons tend to stand out.

People see for themselves the positive results that practitioners or believers display and desire those advantages for themselves. Perhaps they encounter a Buddhist monk who exudes peace and love, or perhaps they interact with a devout Christian who lives by the teachings of Christ. When one sees the benefits first-hand, they can more easily be inspired.

People read Scriptures or spiritual texts, and by the emotional power of the words, they become inspired to learn more about that religion or practice. I write in this forum with hope that it will inspire someone to pursue a spiritual path.

After the initial inspiration, people may embark on a spiritual path or accept baptism into a religion. They form the desire to become enlightened or accept the Holy Spirit into their heart. This process usually proceeds in four steps.

After a new practitioner or believer learns about the benefits of spiritual practice, they are awed and decide that they want those benefits for themselves.

Through hearing about the good qualities of the Buddha or Jesus Christ, they develop faith in them and desire to obtain those good qualities.

On finding the thought of the decline of the teachings unbearable, they decide to become an expert in the tradition in order to spread the teachings to others.

After seeing how rare and powerful the spirit is, they develop a desire to attain full enlightenment or accept Jesus Christ as their savior. The spiritual seeker will then set out on a path to obtain the highest realizations of their tradition.

The Prince of Peace

The term “Prince of Peace” signifies that the coming of Jesus is associated with the establishment of a kingdom characterized by peace. This peace is a profound sense of wellbeing and harmony that comes from reconciliation with God, with oneself, and with others.

In Christian theology, the peace brought by Christ is seen as twofold:

Spiritual Peace: The inner peace that individuals experience when they are in a right relationship with God. This peace is seen as transcending worldly troubles and is often described as a peace that “passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Universal Peace: The ultimate peace that will be established with the fullness of God’s kingdom, which includes peace among nations and peoples.

The title reflects the hope and expectation that Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection bring reconciliation and peace to those who follow him.

But how is one to obtain Universal Peace?

If a believer’s personal goals are to obtain spiritual peace on a personal level, why would they expend effort toward Universal Peace?

Trap of Peace

In Buddhism, the reason for the practitioners desire for liberation matters. In fact, two of the main branches of Buddhism are distinguished only by this desire.

Hinayana Buddhists seek enlightenment for themselves. They follow the Buddha’s teachings to obtain liberation through abandoning their delusions, and if they succeed, they are freed from cyclic existence, never to endure the sufferings of Samsara again.

Mahayana Buddhists develop Bodhicitta, the desire to obtain liberation for other people. The Mahayana path focuses on developing compassion for others, so that when a practitioner achieves enlightenment, they will work tirelessly for the benefit of others.

From the perspective of a Mahayana practitioner, a Hinayana Buddhist (or any religious practitioner who sought only personal peace) is trapped in their personal bubble of freedom.

Eckhart Tolle’s Two Years on a Park Bench

Eckhart Tolle experienced a profound spiritual awakening. He was tormented by negative thoughts and ego identification that was so strong, and so terrible, that his ego collapsed in a heap in one night, and he awoke fully enlightened.

He knew something profound had happened to him, but he didn’t know what or how, and because he had such a welcome and profound sense of peace, he didn’t care—at least not at first. He spent two years sitting on park benches quietly enjoying peace of mind.

He was trapped in peace.

He freely admits that he was so caught up on the bliss of being that he essentially checked out of society. He didn’t work, and he didn’t teach. Whatever realizations he had, he wasn’t motivated to share it with anyone because he was caught up with his own liberation and personal bliss.

The Buddha’s First Seven Weeks

Eckhart Tolle was not the first who paused to simply enjoy his first taste of peace of mind.

Records of the Buddha’s life indicate that for seven weeks following his enlightenment, he refrained from teaching others about his experience.

This hesitation is often attributed to his concern that the profound realizations he had attained might be too complex for others to grasp. There is also a credible notion that initially, he might have been satisfied with his personal state of enlightenment before choosing to disseminate his methodology to others.

The Buddha may have been trapped in peace.

This idea that the Buddha was trapped in peace seems more human and realistic, though it might cast a more modest light on his initial motivations. Nevertheless, once he resolved to impart his knowledge, he delivered an impressive 84,000 teachings, wholeheartedly committing to altruistic service thereafter.

The Buddha was emphatically human, and he consistently rejected any claims of divinity, despite some people venerating him as a god. Acknowledging his humanity and the possibility that his quest for enlightenment was initially driven by personal desire does not detract from his stature or his achievements.

Indeed, he attained enlightenment and then dedicated his life to guiding others on how to reach the same state. His legacy is certainly one that merits admiration and imitation.

Compassionate Living

The term often used for Christian compassion is “agape” (pronounced ah-gah-pay), which is ancient Greek for unconditional, selfless love. Agape is distinguished from other types of love by its moral and spiritual dimension; it represents the highest form of love, the love of God for man and of man for God, and extends to the love for one’s neighbors.

In Christian theology, agape is considered the love that seeks and works for the best interest of others without expecting anything in return, mirroring the love and compassion that Jesus Christ showed to humanity.

The Mahayana path of Buddhism is devoted to the cultivation of compassion as a path to enlightenment. It’s based on Scripture describing the seven causes and effects.

Perfect buddhahood arises from the desire to obtain enlightenment.

The desire to obtain enlightenment arises from a wholehearted resolve.

The wholehearted resolve arises from compassion.

Compassion arises from love.

Love arises from the wish to repay the kindness of others.

The wish to repay the kindness of others arises from recognizing and recollecting their kindness.

The recognition of the kindness of others arises from recognizing all beings as your mother in a previous life.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

Because Mahayana Buddhists use compassion as their motivation for practice, after they obtain enlightenment, they do not become trapped in peace. Instead, they work continuously for the welfare of other beings.

The Buddha and Eckhart Tolle both became trapped in peace for a time after their enlightenment. Both escaped the trap and spread their teachings far and wide.

While no one should fault those who spend their lives in peace, I for one and thankful to those who instead devoted their time and energy to teaching others. Without them, I would still be lost and suffering with no idea how to overcome my plight.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Equalizing Self with Others, http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-equalizing-self-with-others/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-equalizing-self-with-others/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Equalizing Self with Others

Embracing Universal Compassion: Beyond the Golden Rule to True Altruism.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Gospel of Mark 12:31

The common interpretation of this passage is to treat others with the same compassion, kindness, and respect that one would want for oneself. Basically, it’s an instruction to follow the Golden Rule.

It’s considered a central ethical teaching in Christianity, reflecting the interconnectedness of human relationships and the value of empathy and love.

The common interpretation does not go far enough, and it does not reflect the literal interpretation of the passage.

Imagine if we were literally our neighbors, with all the self-cherishing and self-important thoughts we reserve for ourselves.

We wouldn’t just consider our neighbors wants and needs and balance them against our own—a balancing act that always tilts in our favor. Instead, we would very carefully consider all our actions in regard to how we could further our neighbors goals and satisfy their needs instead of our own.

Mostly we spend our time and effort considering how we can further our own agenda. What would happen if we abandoned that approach and focused our attention on how we could help others?

What a beautiful world it would be!

Make Others As Important As You Are

Most people cherish themselves above all others. Our concerns and needs take precedence in our minds, significantly outweighing the needs of others in our estimation.

Our endeavors are primarily aimed at enhancing our own satisfaction and joy, often to the detriment of others. Most people ignore their bad behavior or justify it with flimsy rationalizations.

Most business transactions where there is a zero-sum negotiation between parties, each side greedily seeks to maximize their own gain at the other’s expense. Modern economic theory attempts to justify this behavior as the “invisible hand” of the market, making selfishness a virtue rather than a vice.

The Traumatic Stress of American Capitalism

For those with a profound sense of self-importance, their own wishes are accorded exponentially greater importance than those of anyone else. Narcissists rate their own significance at an extreme, considering themselves the most paramount entities.

Contrastingly, Buddhist principles advocate for a complete inversion of this mindset. They teach valuing one’s own desires minimally, at zero, and elevating the importance of others’ needs to a higher level. This approach, which involves diminishing the ego’s demands and balancing the worth of all beings, leads to genuine happiness and a more profound sense of satisfaction.

Imagine that!

Meditation on Exchanging Self With Others

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, equalizing self with others is a critical step in cultivating loving-kindness (Metta) and compassion for all sentient beings. This practice aims to break down the barriers between self and others, recognizing the fundamental equality of all beings.

Our self-centeredness leads to attachment, aversion, and a biased view of self as more important than others. This doesn’t mean we fail to value ourselves at all. On the contrary, practitioners recognize the importance of taking care of oneself as necessary to work for the benefit of all beings. Our self care is undertaken for a selfless reason.

Practitioners contemplate the shared aspiration of all beings to seek happiness and avoid suffering. This reflection emphasizes the universal nature of this desire, not limited to oneself.

Understanding that all beings undergo suffering fosters empathy and compassion. Further, recognizing that others’ happiness and suffering are intimately linked with our own helps break down the boundaries of self and other.

Practitioners generate well-wishing and goodwill for all beings, wishing for their happiness and freedom from suffering. Ultimately, equalizing self with others serves as a motivation for engaging in virtuous actions and working for the benefit of others.

Equalizing self with others involves reducing attachment to oneself and loved ones and diminishing aversion toward those we perceive as adversaries. This practice emphasizes the importance of removing bias, prejudice, and partiality in our interactions with others. An equal view is cultivated, treating all beings with the same consideration and respect.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

All living beings have shown me great kindness in this life and in past lives. Just as I wish to be happy and free from suffering, so do all other beings. I am only one being, and I will not work to make myself happy while ignoring others.

I believe the happiness and freedom of others is as important as my own. I will value myself an others equally.

Object of Meditation

While contemplating the above, you cultivate the feeling of valuing all living beings equally. This feeling of equal balance and affectionate love for all beings is the object of the meditation.

You should hold this determination in your mind for as long as possible.

When you are out of the meditation session, you should cultivate the practice of valuing others as equally and genuinely desiring for them to be happy and free from suffering.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on equalizing self with others help practitioners break down the barriers of self-centeredness, recognize the shared desire for happiness and the common experience of suffering among all beings, and cultivate loving-kindness and compassion for the welfare of all sentient beings. This practice fosters a sense of interconnectedness and motivates individuals to lead a more altruistic and compassionate life.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings, http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-remembering-the-kindness-of-all-living-beings/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-remembering-the-kindness-of-all-living-beings/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings

We live in a world full of kindness, but for many, it takes conscious effort to recognize the kindness all around us.

The Great Scope meditations of Lamrim, the majority in the sequence, serve to deepen feelings of compassion and extend those feelings to all living beings.

The first of the meditations provided the groundwork of equanimity. The Buddha instructed that we should view ourselves as devoid of worth, and extend uniformly high respect and affection to others, contrary to our innate tendencies.

The second meditation instructs practitioners to feel the affectionate love they feel for their mother and extend that affection to all living beings.

The first two meditations together demonstrate the end goal of the Great Scope of Lamrim is to feel affectionate love for all living beings equally and without exception. Most of the remaining meditations are designed to meet this end.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

The Kindness of Others

We can visualize other beings as our mothers of a previous lifetime, and we can stack up other reasons to view others with deep respect and admiration worthy of affectionate love.

The third meditation in the sequence instructs us to look at the kindness we receive from everyone in our environment. Buddhists define kindness as any action of another that we obtain some benefit from, irrespective of the other person’s motivation, or whether we provided money or thanks for that benefit.

We live in an interconnected society where kindness abounds. Every object in our environment came to be there due to the countless acts of kindness of the many people who worked to produce and distribute those items.

It doesn’t matter that these people likely did their work for monetary rewards, a necessary convention to efficiently distribute goods and services. It doesn’t matter if these people intended to be kind, particularly since we couldn’t know their intentions anyway.

The fact that people worked to provide a good or service that we value means that we were the recipients of their kindness, and we should recognize that kindness.

Recognizing that we live in a world of abundant kindness feels good, and it makes us feel grateful to others and inclines us to feel affectionate love for them and to feel gratitude for the kindness they showed us. That’s the purpose of this meditation.

It’s a practice few people recognize this naturally, mostly out of ignorance.

Since most of us must work to obtain money to purchase food and shelter, our motivations are less out of kindness and more out of self preservation. Since that is our motivation, we assume that is also everyone else’s. This prompts most people to see the world as filled with selfish actors performing selfish actions without regard to other people’s feelings or desires. It’s a terribly depressing and isolating way to view the world.

We also employ willful ignorance to the kindness of others. If we recognize that kindness, we may feel some obligation to do something in return, not of out generosity, but out of guilt, another terribly draining motivation.

If we reason that everyone has already been compensated financially, then we so no need to feel gratitude or behave generously toward them. We feel justified in our miserliness.

It’s the death of compassion.

Kindness, Gratitude, and Generosity

Our natural tendency to avoid recognizing the kindness of others inevitably leads to isolation, greed, exploitation, and a cold heart, the opposite of how we should live. Recognizing kindness changes all that and puts us on a course to feeling gratitude and expressing generosity to others.

Reflecting on the immense kindness of all creatures reveals that much of what we experience and possess stems from countless acts of generosity, regardless of the benefactors’ intentions. When we feel that we are the recipient of a generous act, we naturally feel gratitude and a desire to reciprocate that generosity.

The Practice of Giving: Understanding Generosity as a Core Buddhist Virtue

The essential point is the advantages we gain, marking these acts as acts of kindness from our perspective. Instead of scrutinizing the motives behind these actions—motives we can never fully understand—we ought to appreciate the tangible benefits we reap.

All individuals who play any role in enhancing our joy and well-being merit our appreciation and esteem. Were we to return everything we’ve received from others, we would be left with nothing.

We exist within a network of generosity that we cannot extricate ourselves from. Our existence, our pleasures, and indeed our very lives are gifts borne of others’ goodwill. Ultimately, the world’s joy springs from the kindness extended by others.

Meditation on Remembering the Kindness of All Living Beings

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, remembering the kindness of all living beings is an essential practice that helps cultivate gratitude, loving-kindness, and compassion for all sentient beings.

Practitioners are encouraged to contemplate specific acts of kindness they have received from others. This may include the care and support provided by parents, teachers, and friends, as well as the countless acts of kindness received from strangers throughout one’s life.

Through reflection, practitioners cultivate a deep sense of gratitude for the kindness they have received from others. This gratitude serves as a powerful motivator for generating loving-kindness and compassion.

The practice involves generating well-wishing and goodwill for the welfare and happiness of all beings. This shift in perspective helps reduce self-grasping and ego-clinging.

Remembering the kindness of all living beings naturally leads to compassion. Recognizing the suffering and challenges faced by others, practitioners develop a genuine wish for all beings to be free from suffering.

The kindness of all living beings is integrated into the practice of the Four Immeasurables (Brahmaviharas), which include loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. These practices aim to cultivate boundless qualities of heart and mind.

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

In previous lives, when I was their child, the people around me who were my previous mothers showed me great kindness. The kindness of these beings is not limited to the times when they were my mother. All my day-to-day needs are met by the kindness of their actions and the benefits I receive. All my enjoyments and the satifaction of my needs is dependent upon the kindness of all these living beings.

Object of Meditation

Contemplating the above, you generate a strong feeling of affectionate love toward all living beings. This affection love is the object of the meditation.

You should hold this feeling for as long as possible, which should feel very enjoyable and uplifiting. If you mind brings up objections and the feeling is lost, return to the contemplation and generate the feelings anew.

When outside of the meditation make a point of noticing the practical benefits you obtain from interacting with all the people in your life and cultivate the feelings of gratitude and affection that naturally arise when you feel the kindness of others.

Ultimately, the remembrance of the kindness of all beings serves as a motivation for engaging in virtuous actions and working for the benefit of others. It is a foundational step in the path toward spiritual awakening (Buddhahood) to guide all beings to liberation from suffering.

In summary, Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on remembering the kindness of all living beings help practitioners develop gratitude, loving-kindness, and compassion for all sentient beings. This practice fosters a deep sense of interconnectedness and motivates individuals to lead a more altruistic and compassionate life.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

The Traumatic Stress of American Capitalism, https://selflessanatta.com/the-traumatic-stress-of-american-capitalism/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/the-traumatic-stress-of-american-capitalism/

The Traumatic Stress of American Capitalism

We all pay a steep emotional price for the benefits we obtain from our capitalist system.

A dog-eat-dog world

Modern economic theory tells us that each person acting through their own selfish desire animates the “invisible hand” of the market. Apparently, this is considered a good thing.

Economists would have us believe that nobody acts out of kindness or the desire to help others, or their actions are so small and insignificant that their activities can be ignored.

All goodness occurs either by chance or because collective selfish behavior somehow produces a desirable end state—at least for the most greedy and powerful.

Whenever anyone challenges these assumptions, they are roundly criticized as foolish idealists, ignorant fools, or losers who can’t compete. Capitalism is portrayed as the only alternative, an attitude eagerly embraced by those who believe they benefit from the system more than others.

The Decline of Organized Labor Power

Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels wrote the Communist Manifesto that outlined the goals of organized labor in its fight against the interests of exploitative capitalists. Even now, almost two centuries later, the interests of those who provide money are still at odds with those who provide labor.

Up through the 1970s in many parts of the world, organized labor was a dominant political force, and increases in productivity were more evenly distributed between labor and capital. Labor won many political battles, and most of the laws that still exist to protect labor came from this era.

As organized labor’s power declined, the interests of capital gained the upper hand, and over the last 40 years or more, workers have endured the slow erosion of rights and privileges gained in the previous era.

The result of this decline in labor power has been an increased stress endured by labor at all levels.

The Stress of Capitalism on Labor

Capitalists want a desperate workforce willing to provide labor at subsistence levels. Further, capitalists want laborers to feel a sense of gratitude toward the capitalists who exploit them, as if any job is better than no job.

If a potential worker believes they must take a job at whatever pay is available or face starvation and homelessness, they will feel a sense of desperation—and the stress that goes along with it.

A desperate labor pool benefits the capitalist in two ways. First, capitalists obtain labor at the lowest possible cost. Second, capitalists won’t be required to pay for social safety nets through taxation or inflation (diminishment of the value of their wealth).

Therefore, social safety nets that would alleviate the stress of workers by removing their fears of starvation or homelessness are universally opposed by capitalists, irrespective of the emotional price paid by workers.

Capitalism and compassion are completely incompatible.

Ordinarily, our political system would provide a check and balance on the interests of capitalists, and their cold-hearted compassionless avarice would be offset by a unified labor vote opposing them. That system no longer functions in the United States as the working class now tends to vote with capitalists.

High Wages Don’t Relieve Stress

Many studies have shown that working for less than a subsistence wage causes significant stress, which shouldn’t be surprising. Who would feel peaceful about working long hours and failing to make enough money to provide adequate food or shelter?

Historically, these studies showed that happiness increases up to the point of subsistence, but then flatlines after that. Higher income doesn’t tend to make people any happier. Why is that?

It’s basic human nature to chase after scarce resources. When pursuing basic needs which are lacked, that pursuit is life-and-death, so the stress is a necessary motivator. But as soon as someone obtains the resources they need for survival, or luxury for that matter, they immediately begin to worry about losing them.

In a capitalist system, nothing is assured. There is no entitlement. Whatever someone has they only get to keep as long as they keep working. The fear of losing what they have is palpable because it’s real.

The Least Stressed and Happiest Societies

As one might expect, the societies that consistently rank the best for low stress and higher levels of happiness are those with robust social safety nets. When a job loss will lead to starvation, homelessness and a lack of healthcare, workers are stressed; however, when adequate food, shelter, and healthcare is assured, stress levels decline.

It’s not complicated. Of course, capitalists don’t want to pay for social safety nets, and they want a desperate workforce, so every effort is made to resist them, most notably a nonstop propaganda campaign on right-wind media that demonizes all social safety nets.

The World Happiness Report evaluates societal happiness. The countries that consistently rank high in happiness and presumably lower in stress levels include:

Finland – Often ranked at the top due to its high levels of social support, trust in government, and personal freedom.

Denmark – Known for its strong sense of community, low levels of corruption, and high standard of living.

Switzerland – Scores high in health, economic stability, and community support.

Iceland – Has a strong social network and a high sense of community, even in remote areas.

Netherlands – Features a good balance between work and life, high levels of personal freedom, and supportive social networks.

Norway – Known for its high income levels, social security, and environmental quality.

Sweden – Scores well in terms of public services, environmental quality, and social support.

Luxembourg – Offers a high standard of living, strong social security, and a stable economy.

New Zealand – Praised for its sense of community, environmental beauty, and relatively low levels of stress.

Austria – Features high levels of well-being, good healthcare, and environmental quality.

These rankings can vary slightly depending on the source and the specific criteria used for measurement. The one common denominator in the last above is the strength of their social safety nets.

A Personal Journey

When I was just starting out in my career, I eagerly embraced right-wing rhetoric on personal responsibility and the virtue of hard work and competition. As I encountered situations where I needed to make decisions and undertake actions that benefitted the organization and its capitalist backers at the expense of others, I became disenchanted.

The first time I was called upon to fire someone, I knew the hardship it was going to cause them. It was emotionally difficult. I rationalized to myself that they will be better off in the long run, but given the lack of social safety nets, the short term was going to be brutal.

When faced with ethical dilemmas I was forced to choose between doing what I believed was right and feeding my family. Over the years, making difficult management decisions took its toll.

When my son was diagnosed with autism, my wife needed to stay at home to care for him, and for many years, we obtained no State aid. The responsibility for my family rested solely with me, and I had had lost employment for any extended period of time, my family would have become homeless and destitute in short order.

During the 2008 financial crisis, my industry was hit particularly hard. From 2007 to 2010, I had three jobs that were eliminated. Nobody was hired to replace me. Each time, I faced an existential threat to my family with no social safety net to provide any assistance or comfort. It was very stressful.

I managed to start an entrepreneurial enterprise that enabled me to make some fortuitous investments. In some regard, I lived the capitalist dream, pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. However, the emotional price I paid was enormous. If I hadn’t gotten lucky, I might not have survived.

What I Felt When I Won the Lottery

I won the lottery… sort of. I unexpectedly received a large monthly annuity that will comfortably support my family for life.

Read full story

A Post Capitalist Perspective

On an individual basis, I no longer feel the stress of our capitalist system. Between my investments and State aid, I now have the same financial security that every citizen of the European Socialist countries outlined above enjoys from birth.

Now that I no longer face the fear of destitution for myself and my family, I can attest to the fact that alleviating that stress is life changing.

One of the justifications that capitalists rely on to oppose social safety nets is that workers won’t have an incentive to work. That’s not the case.

It is true that social safety nets remove the incentive to work for less, which is what capitalists really want. I still work, and I enjoy it much more now that I don’t have the stress associated with it.

Prior to labor unions, the nineteenth century capitalists made workers put in 60+ hours per week. Labor unions reduced the work week to 40 hours by the 1970s, but in the years since, many have opted to work many more hours just to get by.

Without the need to work, I do work fewer hours, spending more time with my family. When work is purely by choice, a four-day workweek provides a live-work balance that is far less stressful. The benefits of personal satisfaction, societal contribution, and having extra spending money is plenty of incentive to work.

I don’t believe our current capitalist system or ruthless labor exploitation is a good one. Perhaps it delivers goods and services more efficiently, but even that is debatable. It certainly does not deliver peace of mind or happiness that justifies a few more consumer goods or enriching a few billionaires.

I hope the next generation finds better alternatives. Right now, they face low wages, high prices for basic goods, extractive monopolies, and the likelihood that they will be worse off than their parents. It’s a recipe for dramatic change.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers, http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-recognizing-that-all-living-beings-are-our-mothers/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-recognizing-that-all-living-beings-are-our-mothers/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Recognizing That all Living Beings Are Our Mothers

Meditation for developing affectionate love for all beings.

Buddhism guides us to examine our natural behaviors and responses, assess the pain they cause, and use our insight to choose more wisely, lessening our suffering and that of others.

The Buddha’s teachings highlight the importance of developing equanimity, encouraging us to see ourselves as valueless and to treat others with a similar high level of respect, challenging our innate tendencies to categorize people as friends, enemies, and strangers.

Equanimity is about maintaining a calm and fair stance toward all beings avoiding biases, dislikes, or apathy.

The journey to equanimity begins with the acknowledgment that every sentient being shares an equal wish to be happy and to steer clear of pain. This understanding applies universally, from our closest associates to our adversaries, and extends to all creatures across different planes of existence.

The Lamrim teachings stress the importance of moving past our fondness for friends and family and our hostility towards foes or those we find disagreeable. Such feelings of attachment and aversion stand in the way of true equanimity.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Developing Equanimity

We don’t want to devalue everyone to zero in striving to treat everyone equally. We aren’t trying to achieve equanimity of indifference. We are not seeking to reduce our appropriate affection for friends and loved ones.

Equanimity aims to view all beings with the warmth and caring we have for friends and loved ones.

To achieve equanimity at affectionate love, Buddhists return to the basics, the primary relationship each person has with their mother.

In The New Meditation Handbook from Tharpa Publications, meditation number eight is Recognizing That All Living Beings Are Our Mothers.

This meditation serves as a cornerstone, with many subsequent meditations relying on the insights and emotions stirred by contemplating their mother’s love.

Lamrim outlines the progressive steps towards enlightenment. A seasoned Buddhist practitioner harbors no resentment towards their mother.

A practitioner facing issues related to their mother resolves these conflicts as overcoming them is crucial for progression on the spiritual path.

This principle isn’t exclusive to Buddhism.

Are You Ready to Forgive Your Mother?

Upon discovering her pregnancy, your mother faced the option of terminating it, potentially ending your life. Regardless of the legalities, the practice of terminating pregnancies dates back to ancient times, and your mother chose not to take that path with you. You were essentially a tenant in her body, a presence she welcomed despite the discomfort and challenges that come with pregnancy. Had she decided otherwise, you wouldn’t be here to read this message. This is not speculation; it’s a reality. Imagine being without a home and in dire need, and someone offers you their home, food, and care. You’d view them as compassionate and generous. Your mother deserves the same recognition. Without dwelling on any perceived grievances, you’d naturally feel compelled to appreciate your existence. While you were in her womb, she guarded you as if you were a priceless treasure, always prioritizing your well-being. She sought medical advice, maintained her health, ate nutritious foods, and took care of you for nine months, ensuring nothing she did would harm your physical or mental development. Even if she wasn’t perfect in every way, her efforts ensured your survival.

Read full story

Extending Mother Love to the World

In Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings, recognizing that all living beings are our mothers is essential in cultivating loving-kindness (Metta) and generating a sense of closeness and compassion for all sentient beings.

First, the practitioner must feel genuine affection and love for their mother. Not everyone does. If a practitioner has a strained relationship with their mother, they may need to work on forgiveness.

Rather than allow a strained mother relationship to be a barrier, practitioners can also think about other relationships where they feel affectionate love.

I was particularly close to my paternal grandmother. Perhaps inappropriately, she showed favoritism toward boys. I was the first-born male from her first son, so I was special to her. She loved me unconditionally and was always very kind to me.

Most people have someone who was kind and affectionate towards them growing up. Focusing on that person can help generate the feelings of affectionate love this meditation requires.

The next step is to extrapolate that feeling to others.

Buddhism was born of a culture that believed in rebirth and a cycle of life after life that has been going on since the beginning of time.

Practitioners reflect on the idea that in our previous lifetimes, all sentient beings have been our mothers at some point. This perspective emphasizes the interconnectedness of all beings and fosters a sense of gratitude and closeness.

We are encouraged to contemplate the kindness and care that our past mothers provided us. Our previous mothers selflessly nurtured and protected us, often at great personal sacrifice.

In recognizing that all beings have been our mothers, we cultivate a deep gratitude for their past kindness, even if we cannot remember those relationships from previous lifetimes.

This technique is both powerful and effective. The next time you encounter a stranger, imagine that person was your mother in a previous lifetime who showered you with love and affection. Feelings of affection toward that stranger will naturally arise.

Imagining all beings as mothers in a past life is the foundation for expanding loving-kindness. Using this method, we can take the warmth and affection for people in this life and extend that to everyone everywhere.

Recognizing the motherly bond with all beings, we strive to treat everyone with kindness and fairness. Practitioners aim to develop a universal attitude of love and compassion for all beings, regardless of their background, appearance, or behavior.

Meditation on Seeing All Beings as Our Mothers

Recognizing all beings as past mothers is often integrated into loving-kindness meditation. Practitioners systematically generate feelings of love and well-wishing for all sentient beings, starting with those closest to us.

Ultimately, recognizing all beings as our mothers motivates virtuous actions, working for the benefit of others and striving for spiritual awakening (Buddhahood) to guide all beings to liberation from suffering.

Contemplation

Consider what you read in this post and focus on the following first-person narrative:

If I have lived countless past lives, I have had countless past mothers who loved, nurtured, and cared for me. Each person I met and each being I encountered was my mother in a previous life.

Object of Meditation

When we come to see all beings as our mothers of previous lives, we hold this recognition as the object of our meditation.

When we rise from meditation and encounter people and animals in our daily lives, we strive to recognize each of these beings as a mother from a previous life.

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on recognizing that all living beings are our mothers emphasize the interconnectedness of all sentient beings through countless lifetimes. This recognition is a foundation for cultivating loving-kindness, compassion, and altruism, leading practitioners toward a universal and unconditioned love for all beings.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Is Belief in Rebirth or Reincarnation Essential to Buddhist Practice?, https://selflessanatta.com/is-belief-in-rebirth-or-reincarnation-essential-to-buddhist-practice/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/is-belief-in-rebirth-or-reincarnation-essential-to-buddhist-practice/

Is Belief in Rebirth or Reincarnation Essential to Buddhist Practice?

You don’t need to believe in magnetism to use a compass.

Reincarnation is Useful Bullshit

Do I actually believe, as ontological Body reality, that I have actually existed through endless lifetimes?

No. I don’t.

But I don’t need to.

I don’t need to believe in magnetism to use a compass.

Karma still works when I act as if I’ve lived an infinite number of lifetimes, and more importantly, I have a great many more lives yet to go.

Belief in rebirth is not essential to Buddhist practice; however, you need to think and act as if you will take a rebirth based on your actions in this life.

Is there a difference?

I believe so. I can suspend my disbelief and enjoy a movie or written fiction. Why should it be any more difficult to suspend disbelief in rebirth to obtain the benefits of spiritual practice?

What is the value of belief in rebirth? It opens the door to understanding and living my Karma.

Karma is the belief that our actions have consequences. Often the connection is apparent and obvious, but sometimes it’s not.

We don’t always recognize the connection when there is a delay between the action and the consequence.

When we employ selective memory or willful ignorance, we can pretend the connection doesn’t exist at all. This is particularly useful if we want to do something bad in hopes we can dodge the consequences.

And what about those circumstances when something bad happens that doesn’t appear to have any connection to past actions?

When something bad happens to me that doesn’t appear to be in any way connected to anything I’ve ever done in my life, my first reaction is, “Why me God?”

That question opens a doorway to suffering.

Enter Karma.

Karma

Whenever something happens I didn’t want or foresee, I still feel an initial burst of anger.

How dare Fate, Karma, God, (insert anyone other than me) make this awful thing happen?

Am I a victim?

After giggling at my foolishness momentarily, a nanosecond later, I cut it off by reminding myself that whatever occurs, it happens because of actions I took in the past, even if it was lifetimes ago.

Accepting that whatever happened was due to something I did wrong in a previous life has two positive effects.

First, it cuts off the “why me” victim nonsense that makes me feel terrible.

Second, it makes me even more confident that my actions have consequences, which is what I want.

Third, and most importantly, when I consider my future lives, I know that anything I do will return on me at some point, even if it takes thousands of lifetimes.

There is no escape from responsibility.

Moral Compass

People hurt each other for selfish reasons because they believe they can escape it.

If my actions have no consequences, I would pretty much do what I want.

Most religions and cultures invent a Hell as a catch-all insurance policy against getting-away-with-it while you are alive, hoping perhaps this will motivate a few people to “be good” to avoid eternal damnation.

As a concept, it’s become so burdened by legalese, pointless debates on dogma, and philosophical mental masturbation that it no longer has enough emotional impact to scare people straight, assuming it ever did.

Karma is the shackle of personal responsibility every ego wants to avoid.

Yet, it must be chosen.

People have been imposing their Gods on each other since antiquity, forcing them to see the Light by using Dark, usually extinguishing the flames of heathens and heretics if they refused to accept someone else’s Salvation.

It was never about them, the people supposedly being Saved.

Earning Heaven: Parallels Between Pure Land Buddhism and Evangelical Christianity

Buddhism is different: It’s a path of choice.

You either choose to feel Karma’s navigating field or you don’t.

Here’s how it works.

If I truly believed my actions were absolutely going to come back to me in some form or fashion, and there was no escape, none, no dodging responsibility — when I felt that hit my heart — I didn’t want to inflict my selfish desires on anyone.

The Power of Karma is its ability to prevent me from hurting others.

I use it as a mind hack.

A useful tool to drive my motivation toward virtue.

When you learn to navigate by it Karma is an excellent moral compass, a needle aligning your heart True North, pointing you down the Proper Path.

100% Responsible

Once I started navigating by Karma, I took 100% responsibility for everything that occurred to me.

Why? Because if I act unwisely, hurt people, or do bad things, it will return to hurt me.

I don’t want that.

There is no pleading for mercy. Directing consequence to another. I offered rationalizations and hoped the verdict would go my way.

Potential outcomes down the dark path are unpredictable and undesirable.

Perhaps a rival takes revenge. Perhaps a fraud perpetrated years ago is uncovered. Secrets haunt you at night, disturbing your mind.

Emotionally, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I don’t want that.

Regret: What Responsibility Feels Like

Live-with-no-regrets is the anthem of Desire. It’s not wise spiritual advice.

A life without regrets represents a failure to learn from mistakes.

For many years, I continually inflicted subtle emotional pain on my life partner.

I didn’t feel that pain because I didn’t consider her experience, and I likely would have convinced myself I wasn’t responsible for her reaction.

I felt no regret.

When I looked honestly at the behavior, an unpleasant feeling of revulsion arose.

The deeper I dug, the more intense I felt that pain.

Most people recoil when they feel the unpleasant feelings of remorse.

I use it as a warning sign.

It’s telling me that I am considering a behavior that has caused others pain in the past.

If I continue down this path, I am likely to do something that will make me feel that pain with more intensity.

Don’t do it.

Just say no.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Political Partisanship: The Inherent Unhappiness of Identifying with a Political Party, https://selflessanatta.com/political-partisanship-the-inherent-unhappiness-of-identifying-with-a-political-party/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/political-partisanship-the-inherent-unhappiness-of-identifying-with-a-political-party/

Political Partisanship: The Inherent Unhappiness of Identifying with a Political Party

No matter which side you choose, if you identify as a political partisan, you will always be unhappy, anxious, and dissatisfied.

The American People are deeply divided, more so than at any time since the Civil War. There are many reasons for these divisions, none of which matter to political partisanship’s emotional effect on everyone who participates.

Most people have some opinion on the social problems we face as Americans and what role the government has in solving these problems. It’s one thing to form an opinion on a political issue, but it’s something else entirely to choose to identify with a political party.

Whenever we see social injustice, we naturally desire to see that injustice corrected. This desire informs many of our opinions on important political and social issues. Sometimes, the best solution to a political issue is advocated by Democrats, sometimes by Republicans. No political party has the best solution to every political issue.

Why Do People Become Political Partisans?

Political partisanship refers to the strong allegiance to one’s political party, often leading to unwavering support for party policies and candidates, regardless of the broader context or evidence that may suggest alternative viewpoints.

This allegiance distorts how individuals perceive political events, policy discussions, and the actions of political figures, fostering a divided political landscape where compromise and cross-party collaboration are challenging, sometimes even considered a betrayal.

People become identified with one political party or another through various processes, including:

Family and Socialization: Many individuals inherit their political affiliations from their families, adopting the political identities of their parents or close family members during their formative years. This early socialization can have a lasting impact on political identity.

Educational Influences: The education system, including schools and universities, can significantly shape political beliefs and affiliations. Exposure to different political theories, discussions, and the political climate within educational institutions can influence one’s political alignment.

Social Groups and Networks: Peer groups, social networks, and community organizations can influence political partisanship. The political leanings of one’s social circle can impact individual political beliefs and party identification, generally reinforcing existing tendencies.

Media Consumption: The media, including news outlets, social media platforms, and other forms of communication, significantly influences political partisanship. Many people tend to consume media aligning with their political ideologies to reinforce those beliefs and encourage identification with their political party.

Personal Values and Beliefs: Individual values, beliefs, and personal experiences shape political partisanship. People often affiliate with political parties that they perceive best represent their interests, values, and vision for society. Perception is reality, and even if a party fails to actually benefit the individual in any way, as long as they maintain the illusion, they will maintain their partisan identification.

Political Environment and Events: Significant political events, shifts in the political landscape, and the overall political climate can influence party identification. However, once partisan affiliation is formed, changes in leadership or policy rarely change people’s identification.

Why Does Partisanship Lead to Unhappiness?

All political partisans are unhappy. All of them.

Some are angry and hateful; some are rude and condescending; some dream that partisans of the other side will change their minds, and some futilely hope the division will end.

All political partisans are frustrated and disappointed to various degrees depending on how in or out of power their cadre is at any given time. They are completely subject to the worldly winds and forces far outside of their control.

On a national level, we have four major nodes of power: the Presidency or Executive Branch, the Senate, the House of Representatives, and the Supreme Court. Rarely does any party have majority control of all four power nodes. And even when one of them does, the minority party still has procedural levers, most notably the Senate Filibuster, to foil the will of the party in power.

In short, even when one party has all the power, they don’t always get what they want; they must endure legislative failures and the failings of their mistaken policies.

And even if the partisan’s affiliated party had complete control at the national level, they may not control State or local governments or the policies of other states, foreign allies or other world powers.

There is no satisfaction in politics.

And even if there were, it would be fleeting, lasting at most a two-year election cycle while the minority party and its associated media relentlessly lampooned the foibles and failures of the partisan’s favored party.

And if, by some miracle, the partisan’s party enjoyed power for more than two years, the internal forces would eventually shatter the internal coalitions as the various factions of the ruling party demanded more and more.

Partisanship has failure built into its success.

Further, maintaining power requires continually turning out partisan voters, which generally requires maintaining a state of anger and fear, which are not peaceful and happy states of mind.

Exacerbating Unhappiness and Dissatisfaction

The more polarized and partisan the political environment becomes, the more important it becomes for party leaders to motivate partisans to get to the polls and vote.

Apathy or complacency leads to lost elections.

The only sure method to turn out partisans is to make them angry and fearful. If people believe their lifestyle and freedoms are in jeopardy, they will turn out to vote as an act of self-protection.

If you consume any partisan media, you immediately recognize this reality. Partisan media always features the evil members of the other party doing nefarious things while the good guys of their party are victims of the slings and arrows.

Partisans are discouraged from feeling compassion for the plight of anyone who doesn’t share their point of view. The evil-doers on the other side deserve the anger and hatred directed toward them.

Anger is a disturbing mental state.

Buddhism & Spiritual PracticeTurning Anger into Peace: The Transformative Practice of Patient Acceptance

Anger is a painful state of mind, a source of tremendous suffering. Anger makes people tense and uncomfortable. Anger makes it difficult to sleep, and even when sleep comes, it isn’t restful or refreshing. Anger makes it difficult to enjoy activities, other than violence and cruelty, inflicting pain on others for petty revenge. Angry people often lose their freedom of choice, driven to action without concern for consequence. Angry people live in a state of perpetual victimhood, blaming others for their misfortunes and even the anger itself. Anger destroys relationships. Anger makes most people wish to retaliate against those perceived to be the cause of harm. The desire to retaliate often causes people to expose themselves to unnecessary personal danger. Actual retaliation harms others and fails to calm the angry mind. Anger leads to personal conflict, generally causing damage to both parties. Even the victor in violent conflict is often bloodied and weakened. Angry people have no friends. They exploit acquaintances and servants for specific needs, but every interaction becomes transactional, devoid of connection or closeness. Anger transforms people into enemies. Angry people make enemies of anyone who fails to submit willingly to their demands. Angry people portray others as evil for resisting their will. Angry people must always be vigilant against potential attacks from rivals, as enemies of their own creation always surround them. Angry people die alone, forsaken and forgotten, shunned by all who previously cared for them.

Overcoming Partisan Differences

There is no victory for a partisan. The enemy will never be vanquished. Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, even the most defeated and downtrodden partisan enemy will return with new issues, leaders, and propaganda.

The partisan war is futility defined. The only way to win that war is not to engage in it.

But how do you do that? It is quite simple to explain but nearly impossible for hardcore partisans to accomplish.

First, stop partaking in partisan media. Don’t turn on your favorite news channel. Don’t read your favorite biased websites. Don’t share your friends and family’s partisan posts.

Second, stop making enemies of those who have different opinions from your own. You are not right, and they are not wrong, no matter how certain you are. Your opinions are not facts, and neither are theirs.

Third, list the other side’s good traits and policy successes. And yes, the other side has good qualities, and they have implemented good policies.

Thus far, I have not called out either side in our current political divide. A partisan from either side could read this post without feeling it biased. I have no interest in advocating one side or the other. I only wish to point out the foolishness and inevitable unhappiness that partisan identification inevitably leads to.

I don’t wish to favor one side or the other, so bear that in mind when reading the next section.

Joe Biden and Donald Trump’s Good Traits

Partisans will view everything their candidate has ever accomplished as positive and everything accomplished by the other candidate as negative.

I don’t want to provide a list of traits partisans will disagree on. Below is a list of positive traits all but the most hardcore partisans can acknowledge.

Both men were widely respected and accomplished in their respective fields prior to becoming candidates.

Both men inspired their supporters and earned the nomination of their respective political parties to represent them as their candidate for President of the United States.

Both men convinced enough voters in enough states to secure a victory in the Electoral College and become lawfully elected President of the United States.

Both men worked to advance the agenda of their supporters while in office in an effort to earn reelection.

Both men possess unique talents that helped them in their careers and in their candidacy to become president.

Donald Trump’s Unique Talents

Donald Trump has a deep understanding of human nature, group dynamics, and how to influence public opinion. He used these skills to gain political support for his real estate development projects and his candidacy for the presidency.

Donald Trump has tremendous energy and drive for personal success. He always put forth the effort necessary to obtain approval for his real estate projects and campaigned tirelessly for the presidency.

Donald Trump amassed a large personal fortune with extensive real estate holdings.

Donald Trump gained fame through his real estate ventures, authoring best-selling books, and starring in a popular TV series prior to running for public office. He is an expert at self-promotion.

Due to the extreme polarization of our politics, nearly anything else one may want to say about his personal or professional life is subject to debate and interpretation through a partisan lens.

Joe Biden’s Unique Talents

Joe Biden served as a US Senator for 36 years, Vice President for eight years, and President for four years (so far). By serving in government for 48 years, he demonstrated the skills to please his constituents and secure reelection. He has never lost a bid for public office, and he received the most votes ever for president in his 2020 election victory.

Joe Biden showed tremendous emotional strength as he has endured many difficult losses in his personal life, including his first wife and daughter in a car accident and his son to cancer. He has maintained strong personal relationships and is, by all accounts, an honorable family man.

Joe Biden is widely perceived as a stabilizing force in American politics, often working with the opposition party to craft bi-partisan legislation.

Again, due to the extreme polarization, little else can be said that most could agree with.

Partisan Differences Is the Source of Unhappiness

Why is it important to find agreeable positive characteristics of the other side? All partisan politics is sustained by focusing on our differences. By focusing on our differences and disagreements, we remain fractured as a country and angry at those who hold views different from our own.

Partisans work diligently to get others to “see the light.” But this is a fool’s errand. No partisan has ever convinced an opposing partisan of their truth. It’s a war for hearts and minds that both sides always lose. And playing the game makes them and others unhappy.

By all means, you should advocate for positions on issues you are passionate about. This isn’t a call for political apathy. But in your zeal and advocacy, don’t succumb to the partisan tendency to demonize your opponents, characterize them negatively, and identify with those who share your passion for that issue. It’s a road to the dark side and endless suffering.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[selflessanatta]

Reasons or Rationalizations: Wisdom Versus Delusion for Interpersonal Relationships, http://selflessanatta.com/reasons-or-rationalizations-wisdom-versus-delusion-for-interpersonal-relationships/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/reasons-or-rationalizations-wisdom-versus-delusion-for-interpersonal-relationships/

Reasons or Rationalizations: Wisdom Versus Delusion for Interpersonal Relationships

Are your behaviors and attitudes toward others based on wisdom or poor self-serving rationalizations?

Conflicts are inevitable whenever people interact with others. How people approach and resolve these conflicts determines the quality and durability of their relationships.

A completely selfish person will demand what they want and manipulate others to obtain it. They don’t feel the need to justify their actions. Such an approach leads to shallow relationships that fail to endure because people don’t like to be used and abused with impunity.

To avoid a steady turnover of people in their lives, most people will at least try to offer justifications for their actions. Since selfish behavior is difficult to justify in a way that satisfies others, people come up with rationalizations to make them look less selfish, often fooling even themselves.

Selfish brutes often don’t see themselves as self-centered abusers even when they are. They lie to themselves to make their lies more convincing to others and to placate their guilt over their bad behavior. Some of the most pernicious lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

Rationalizations

Self-centered rationalization is a cognitive process where an individual justifies their actions, decisions, or beliefs in a manner that prioritizes their interests, needs, or perspectives, often at the expense of others’ considerations or the objective truth.

This kind of rationalization is a defense mechanism that allows individuals to maintain a positive self-image and reduce cognitive dissonance—the discomfort experienced when holding two conflicting beliefs or facing discrepancies between beliefs and behaviors.

In self-centered rationalization, the reasoning provided may seem logical to the individual but is typically biased to protect their self-esteem or personal goals.

It can manifest in various ways, such as blaming others for one’s mistakes, justifying unethical behavior by highlighting personal gain or dismissing the negative impact of one’s actions on others. This process can hinder personal growth, damage relationships, and lead to a lack of accountability.

Valid Reasons for Conflict

The motive behind a valid reason for conflict is often rooted in genuine grievances, needs, or concerns that have been unaddressed, violated, or compromised. It’s about seeking justice, respect, or fulfillment of legitimate needs.

Justifications for valid reasons for conflict are based on objective criteria, ethical considerations, or mutual agreements breached. The reasoning is more balanced, considering both personal perspectives and those of others involved.

When conflicts arise for valid reasons, they have the potential to lead to constructive outcomes if managed properly. When resolved effectively, such conflicts can prompt important conversations, foster understanding, promote problem-solving, and lead to growth and stronger relationships.

Key Differences Between a Rationalization and a Reason

Self-centered rationalization is inherently subjective and biased towards oneself, while a valid reason for conflict is grounded in objective fairness or mutual respect that has been compromised.

Self-centered rationalization lacks empathy and fails to consider the impact of one’s actions on others, whereas a valid reason for conflict often arises from concerns that involve mutual respect and understanding.

Conflicts based on self-centered rationalization are often destructive, leading to unresolved issues and strained relationships. In contrast, conflicts arising from valid reasons can lead to positive outcomes, including personal growth and strengthened bonds, with effective communication and negotiation.

While self-centered rationalization is centered on protecting one’s ego and interests, often at the expense of others, a valid reason for conflict seeks to address genuine issues, injustices, or needs, aiming for a resolution that respects and considers all parties involved.

Gray Areas Between Reason and Rationalization

It is often difficult to distinguish between valid reasons and. foolish rationalizations.

I know a couple nearing divorce due to their inability to resolve conflicts.

The wife says that she fears her husband’s anger when they argue. The husband claims he does nothing to make her fearful, and her reaction is irrational. There is no history of domestic violence.

In an incident a few months ago, the wife called the police. The police arrived and found no evidence of wrongdoing, and the calm husband had to explain her overreaction.

The husband is frustrated that she blames him for her reactions, claiming she takes no responsibility for anything she does when she feels fear.

The wife is frustrated that the husband does not change his behavior to stop triggering her fear. She is adamant that his expressions of anger and frustration are the cause of all their problems.

The situation has deteriorated to the point the couple is hesitant to have routine conversations because even the smallest conflict leads to a fearful reaction.

Is the wife being rational and providing a valid reason for her fearful reaction?

Is the husband realistic in assessing his anger and how he expresses it?

Is the wife failing to take responsibility for her reactions?

Is the husband failing to take responsibility for his expressions of anger?

I certainly don’t know. If you feel you know, you are mistaken. Either point of view may be valid. In fact, both points of view could be valid based on each person’s subjective experience.

The wife may perceive her husband’s expression of anger crosses a line. None of us can draw that line for her.

The husband may perceive the wife’s reaction to be irrational, particularly since there is no history of domestic violence and even no threats in the expressions of anger.

Each person considers his or her reactions wise and based on valid reasons. Each of them considers the other person’s wise reason to be a silly rationalization.

Empathy and Consideration

Neither the husband nor the wife will ever convince the other they are wrong. They’ve tried. Fruitlessly. It’s a fool’s errand.

Their only realistic option is to increase their empathy and consideration for the other. If they fail to find common ground, they will likely divorce due to irreconcilable differences.

If the husband increases his empathy for her reaction, he may work more diligently to avoid those behaviors that trigger her.

If the wife assumes more responsibility for her emotional state rather than remaining convinced she is the hapless victim of her husband’s actions, her increased resilience may prevent her from being triggered as easily.

If each of them remains convinced the other needs to make all the changes, they will never meet in the middle and find a compromise that works for both of them.

Constructing a Narrative of Rationalizations

Have you heard these stories from your friends and family? Do you find yourself taking sides?

People excel at constructing narratives where they are completely blameless, the hapless victim of some completely selfish and uncaring asshole.

Don’t be too quick to accept the truth of someone’s victim narrative. Most often, these stories are self-serving and full of distortions of reality.

This is particularly true if the narrative is your own.

~~wink~~

Anatta