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i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often

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"kill them with kindness" wrong. Rubber goose, green moose, guava juice. Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake.

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no sburb beta earth au where dave "microcelebrity" strider suddenly gains a big following on the internet after a spike of people discover his sbahj comics online when a screenshot of one goes particularly viral and turns into a [top text/bottom text] meme and some hipsters are like "woah,, this is actually some really avant garde stuff". when he's churning these out sitting in the bathroom stall at school once a day during lunch period. so then he gets REALLY popular and then inevitably gets cancelled at some point when a communications/poli sci major reads one of his comics and then types up a whole memo board explaining how sbahj is actually neo-conservative propaganda written as part of a conspiracy to undermine the 2008 obama presidency. and there's a whole rage war since the memo board was written really convincingly with red arrows and circles drawn around sweet bro's head and everything and dave hasn't made any public statements about it and also no one actually understands what sbahj is about. so threads are being written up about this and people are like emailing death threats to each other over it and someone even tries to doxx him and then manages to find out he lives in texas and some people start actually taking the whole thing seriously because He's From Texas (never mind the fact it's houston). meanwhile dave just started his midterms and he has to focus because he actually cares about school and his future and so he takes a short "hiatus" which people freak out even more over because they take it as him backing away due to the allegations online. and then after winter break dave comes back and opens up a q&a for his 169th "bro wee ar doign it wee ar making it hapen" special and at some point after a barrage of questions in his inbox (q: was "swety bro and hela jeff crassh on the freway" inspired by a real car accident you were in? a: i don't own a car / q: what job do you have in real life? a: unemployed but i pick up roadkill off the street sometimes / q: who did you vote for in the 2008 primaries a: i didn't) someone finally has the bright idea to ask "hey how old are you" and he replies "i'm 13" and all hell breaks loose.

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Hey remember that episode of Spongebob where Sandy sings about being homesick for Texas and Spongebob and Patrick overhear it and are worried that she’s going to leave Bikini Bottom so they have a Texas party at the Krusty Krab with all their friends, recreating things in Sandy’s song but they fuck it up like, pecan pie is just a can of peas shoved in a pie, barbeque is barbed wire in the shape of a Q, and the ten gallon hats are just plastic water jugs on their heads, and like…. Sandy just laughs so hard she breaks into tears, cause she sees what they’re trying to do for her to make her feel at home because they love her and don’t want her to leave…………… yo do you ever think about that goddamn episode

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#guys please vote my beloved headcanon #Sparrow committing prescription fraud #is very near and dear to my heart

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😌 Noah since you are taking doodle requests could I please have Grant carrying Nicky in whatever manner you wish thank you 🙏❤️

Someone got too turnt during the bar crawl.

I love these boys so much I'll fight to the death for them.

Headcanon that Nick likes fruity drinks that are the kind you can't taste alcohol in so you drink 6 with out noticing till you're falling over.

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u gotta let urself process thoughts and emotions ur ashamed of without judgment or they'll build up and come out sideways via weird contrived justifications. a thought on its own is not actually an impulse to act--it can just feel like one when u let urself get too anxious about it. ur not gonna turn into a monster just by thinking about things that gross you out or letting yourself have feelings you know are disproportionate and shouldn't be acted on.

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Spectrum: Best Contemporary Fantasy Art (1994)

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love when characters have to have a domestication arc before you can even consider giving them a redemption arc

#Ian about Mickey #when they move to the west side

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if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean

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every time i start to feel cringe for being too deep in the hyperfixation i remember the intense depression i have waded through and have to remind myself that enjoyment is fleeting (so grab it with both hands), and life is for loving (so hold that love close), and if anyone thinks i’m cringe they must not be having a very good time (and i hope they can find a good time soon).

#real #dndads pulled me from the void

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"you can't ship those characters they tried to kill each other!" sounds like someone can't appreciate the inherent eroticism of violence 🙄

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Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

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are you the gay who can drive or the gay who can cook

#and now for a blorbo addition #Lark can drive #Nicky can cook #Nicky also has a LOT of hangups abour vehicular safety