sharkieso84

[sharkieso84]

Nobody talks about it that much, but once you stop using drugs, you'll get temporarily addicted to the high of being clean. Everything looks optimistic. It's new. Life gets so perfect, colourful and beautiful. You'll get convinced that you won't feel the need to use that shit ever again, because why would you? It's that powerful.

So you go, and you start to build a new life for yourself, full of things you weren't able to do when you were using. The life you deserve.

But while the euphoria is fading away, the reality slowly catches up with you. Whatever thing you wanted to run away from with using drugs, will catch up with you. Therapy helps a lot, but the junkie part is still a part of you. You can try to break the pattern, piece by piece, or you can hide into denial, but you can't get rid of addiction. You can learn to live with it by accepting it and redirecting it somewhere else, which is what I'm trying to do with writing.

Some will redirect it to food, sport, religion or alcohol, but it doesn't really solve the problem. None of it.

In the end, it doesn't matter how fast you run, or how much different your life will get. You can never outrun yourself.

[sharkieso84]

Justin

[sharkieso84]

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.”

— Coco Chanel

[sharkieso84]

I feel this with my husband!

“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”

— Eric Shaw

[sharkieso84]

I feel this

I don't miss using drugs. I don't miss comforting myself with the big lie, that my only solution to every problem was anything else, than a huge mistake. I don't miss praying to every god i have ever heard of for my plug to finally answer the phone. I don't miss any part of getting high, the preparation, nor the process. I don't miss shooting up. I don't miss the crippling anxiety for every time i knew i won't have enough shit to make it through another day, and i don't miss the feeling of relief when i knew i will. I miss those seconds right after i did it, though. The moment when my mind went completely silent? The ultimate peace, deep in my heart. Minutes of stillness, that could last for eternity, but never did. I still miss that.

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

The point of my existence is to be a hot bitch that pisses everyone off

[sharkieso84]

Mary had a little lamb whos soul was black as coal, it crept in her room one night and ate her fucking soul

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

[sharkieso84]

Life is too beautiful to lose yourself on the small stuff. Enjoy

[sharkieso84]

Dayz mean nothing’ try the 20 year krazy bitch shitt 411 me for the details

I am the kind of girl you can do drugs with for days.

[sharkieso84]

Can u tell? Well anyways got to get the most out of my day. I have fun responsibilities. Late

#slamming drugs

[sharkieso84]

Mila