shennyh1208

[shennyh1208]

#最美的中国 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0lk-VOpAnc/?igshid=3mcftzdlvtkt

#最美的中国

[shennyh1208]

#最美的中国 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0KlKBepp1_/?igshid=1ih4kxyewvyqo

#最美的中国

[shennyh1208]

[shennyh1208]

[shennyh1208]

我们一起看太阳爬上来（在 Yangshuochen, Guangxi, China） https://www.instagram.com/p/BoiGssVhpm0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gy7xezs8uywv

[shennyh1208]

景美如画（在 Yangshuochen, Guangxi, China） https://www.instagram.com/p/BogRib-hvVh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=nlgon78pq2cx

[shennyh1208]

[shennyh1208]

随手一拍

[shennyh1208]

good day

[shennyh1208]

#jessiej I love her😘

#jessiej

[shennyh1208]

#傍晚时分

[shennyh1208]

🏞

[shennyh1208]

🌄📸🤓

[shennyh1208]

#tbbt

#tbbt

[shennyh1208]

Simple

[shennyh1208]

Dreaming about a Reality

“Are you ready?” I looked up to see Shane staring at me, his eyes filled with excitement and a grin you couldn’t even slap off his face. Looking at me as though these are the last hours we have to breathe and this was our last shot to go out with a bang. “Yeah!” I said with fake excitement and a forced smile, but even I could still hear my voice shake. I haven’t been able to sleep a wink the past two nights. Hoping that when the reality of this moment finally set in my sleep deprivation would hit me like a bunch of bricks so Shane and everyone else would notice early enough to not make me go on. But it was though all the blood in body was replaced with caffeine and espresso shots, I felt as though I could run around the block about thirty times and then another thirty more. My mind was on high alert, noticing every little detail within feet of me and my focus too high strung. Recollecting the second we walked through the door and I noticed he was here. Sitting in the middle of the crowd with his friends… and her. His new prized girlfriend, or side piece, or slam piece, whoever she was he paraded her around as though she was the greatest thing to walk this earth. That’s who he was though. If you were going to be affiliated with him you needed to benefit his image. In shorter terms you were an accessory. Everything you did had to be perfect. Everywhere you went you had to look perfect. Because there was no Mr.Perfect without Mrs.Perfect. After a while it seems so “perfect” you actually convince yourself it is. Until of course you wake up and realize that “perfect fantasy” is actually a living fucking nightmare. The fake imitation starts to fade and all the lies hit you like a speed train, sending you into a total loss of identity, confusion, and sadness. When people tell you theres no such thing as perfect, head their words, because they are completely right. “We’re all set up Leighton, they’re announcing us now” All of the sudden my heart dropped and my feet were tied to the floor. What am I doing? Why would I ever think I could do this? Is it too late to run? It was too late. “And next we have Leighton Masters and Bringing Back Today!” Shit. Why was my name separate? Oh yeah that’s right I was the idiot that volunteered myself to tryout for this stupid spot and of course I got it. I didn’t even think I was that good. I did Chorus in high school and a few Acapella performances but it was either that or drama, never have I thought years later I would chose to throw myself on stage to have a crowd nitpick at my no experience entertainer skills. They’re going to rip me apart… Luckily Rae helped me look the part. My confidently edgy, smart mouthed, vicious, beautiful best friend turning me into one of her pinterest masterpieces. Dark black skinny jeans with rips and holes down the front, black and maroon combat boots folded down around my mid-calf, a bright magenta sleeveless halter with the classic black leather jacket over top. My hair was lightly curled towards the ends in order to compliment the new dark to platinum ombre on the freshly chopped shoulder length hair. Who knew how much of a difference 10 inches can make you look. I was the complete alternative rocker. Only thing missing…the fact I was nowhere near in personality or in spirit a rocker chick. When I started to walk towards the mic the faces looking back at me gave a reassuring look. My style must of convinced them that I knew what I was doing, and they were ready for a show. And oh a show it was going to be… I kept walking slowly towards the mic, looking down at the floor praying at this moment that the world would spontaneously combust, or just me. Unfortunately neither happened. When I reached the front of the stage I put my hands on the stand and looked up at the crowd. Of course the first pair of eyes I lock with are his. It was such a confused stare, as though he was asking me what the fuck I was doing up there and why the hell did I look like that. Mr. Perfect had no idea. But that’s not a surprise, he never did. For years he acted as though he knew who I was when I was still searching for myself. Hovering over my decisions, lecturing me on what was right and what was wrong, when he was only a couple years older than I. His friends all stared in disbelief, as though I died and was reincarnated by a taller, blonde, Avril Lavigne look alike. None of them had any idea either. Funny thing is if I was still enclosed in that cult none of them still would have known, no matter how many years would have passed. Because in there, its all about image, how you looked, agreeing with all of them, disbanding anything they didn’t agree with, even if it was apart of who you are, you had to get rid of it for them. And that fueled my fire. All the lies, all the rumors, all the shit talking. And I never retaliated. I sat back receiving every cruel word and sentence that came out of their mouths. But tonight I’m fighting back, tonight is my response to every time consuming breath they have spent talking shit about me. I stared back into all their faces, meeting with every single pair of baffled eyes with a stiff rigid look that basically said You guys can go fuck yourself. “Hey everybody and thank you for having us and I especially want to thank Shane for letting me be a guest with his band in performing tonight. Before we play I just want to express the value of this song to me.“ I took a breath, my heart was beating so hard it was ringing through my ears. I felt as though if I didn’t slow down or just stop talking overall I would be face down into the bottom of the stage floor. I looked up and met those eyes again. It was as though he was commanding me to not dare say one word about him or what he did. How childish he has been for such a “man” and that the pedestal he puts himself on is actually not that high up from the ground. I wasn’t going to say his name, exactly what he did, or how awful of a person he has been. But every sentence that is going to be said from my mouth will be referencing to the inferior Mr.Perfect. Hopefully he isn’t too stupid to be able to put that together. “Not too long ago I hit rock bottom. I thought I had everything planned out, everything set for me, and worst of all I convinced myself I was happy when I was not. When I realized the life I was living was not what I wanted I did a complete 360. Yes I cut off all my hair, I colored it a different way, I changed all my clothes, and I know about none of you here knew I even could sing.“ Most of the crowd went into a loud giggling. Whispering to one another and looking back up at me, analyzing head to toe my newfound image. “But that’s not the best part” I created a pause. It seemed as though the past 4 years of my life played back over and over in my head. The girl who I used to call myself was standing in front of me, staring in complete disbelief. Never did she think that I am her and she was me. Her stare scared me but then she broke into a smile. A tear rolled down from her eye to her cheek and she whispered two words before she turned away. Thank you. “The best part is that I found myself, I found my happiness”. I looked over to the right of the stage by the bar to see Brysen and Rae standing up clapping for me. The ones who not only picked me up but physically pushed me up onto this stage. And as much as I hated them for it I couldn’t help but love them more than anything. Brysen pointed at me and flashed his perfect smile he knew I loved so much. I met him when I was at my worst and he has brought me to my best. Making me his princess regardless of how I broken I was, how imperfect I am, and how weak I felt. We were two imperfectly perfect souls intertwined with one another within the short amount of time we have fallen into each others lives. But not only was he special but he was mine. I smiled and blew them both a kiss. Then the lights dimmed and my heart dropped, Shane started strumming and the track began to play. Here we go. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP I open my eyes looking down onto the treadmill. I regained the feeling of reality as the sweat on my t-shirt was cooling down my stomach and the beads of sweat running down my face were seeping into my headphones. 5 miles and 35 minutes. My legs were a little shaky as I slowed the speed to a walking pace but the adrenaline still coursing through my body could push me for another 3 miles. Not today. I hopped off and made my way towards the fountain, remembering what happened the last time I ran too far into my thoughts. Literally. I looked down at my phone pausing the song halfway through and I smiled. “One day” I thought. One day

[shennyh1208]

“Anyone have a question NOT to Tom Hiddleston?”

When the villain gets all of the question from the fans.