shut-upheather

[shut-upheather]

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

[shut-upheather]

i’m sorry but this is the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all week

[shut-upheather]

So my friend has recently starting fucking this guy who she’s told me has a monstrous cock but won’t tell me who or show me pic, so she left her phone unlocked on the sofa while going to the bathroom and being curious I looked through her pics. She had dozens of this mouthwatering gigantic cock, a pic of him measuring and coming out at just short of 11 inches and thicker than a cock can, then I saw he’d sent a full body pic including face and to my horror saw it’s my younger brother. Kill me

[shut-upheather]

Tumblr staff @ my blog on December 17th:

[shut-upheather]

Maya Angelou’s soliloquy from Snatch Game.

[shut-upheather]

[shut-upheather]

when ur hanging out in ur apartment u’ve got some candles lit ur feeling good u’ve had 8 glasses of wine then down in the street u hear two beautiful boys skateboarding or doing flips or something so u invite them up and they say where’s the bed and they ask if they can sit on the bed and u tell them sure but the sheets are expensive japanese linen and they tell u they’re not even soft:

[shut-upheather]

and they were valid

[shut-upheather]

“I was on a strict diet during Episode VIII, and she was like, ‘Kid, get into that fridge and take some chocolate bars. I have many there.’ And I did,” he recalls. “I failed my diet because Carrie Fisher told me to. And it [felt] great.”

-John Boyega on Carrie Fisher

[shut-upheather]

Wish there were sweaters but like,for feet

[shut-upheather]

socks

[shut-upheather]

November 11: Lady Gaga performing ‘The Cure’ at the Joanne World Tour in Uncasville, CT

[shut-upheather]

In case u didn’t see these gems on buzzfeed

[shut-upheather]

He just… accepted it. I’m cracking up.

[shut-upheather]

just a reminder that they were roommates

[shut-upheather]

[shut-upheather]

“Got the morbs” should be a thing.