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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

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feeling so empty right now

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are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

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wondering when the next episode is going to hit- is a ticking time bomb.

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This is it: this is your sign. You’re brand new, refreshed, empowered to change. Your calmer, softer times are coming. Your confidence, your happiness, your bliss, is arriving. Self acceptance is easier, and taking care of yourself is no longer a chore, but something you look forward to. You start to feel replenished - you’re *you* again - and the next chapter of your happier life begins now.

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just a girls room

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do u ever feel so uncomfortable in ur skin, body, mind, all of it?

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last night you came into my room, acting very sweet and sat next to me. i am confused on what this means. everything you do confuses me.

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coming down from mania is not fun

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it's been day 04 since my episode and I am still not forgiven, it's driving me crazy. not only questioning myself on the ideas of wanting their approval but also questioning my judgement.

I keep thinking if there was one slight thing that night, it wouldn't have ended up that night. if you didn't walk into the room, if you gave me time to cool down, if you just left it alone. but you would never do that because you feed off my breakdowns and my emptiness.

how come after all that, I'd take you back in a heartbeat. it's the toxicity I am used to from you. you are nothing but a controlling, insecure person. who uses people around you to make you feel good about yourself- to boost your ego.

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i hate that i’m the broken friend.

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is it bad that i just want to see you hurt or cry over me. does that make me a bad person?

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Daily checklist of affirmations:

Nothing wrong with me

Nothing wrong with me

Nothing wrong with me

Nothing wrong with me

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ALT

I Could Die Today and Live Again, Summer Farah