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[sidelinesbysam]

I’m a Senior Again...I think

Back in the day I remember what it was like to become a senior. It was June of 1977 and it was a glorious day! We were just wrapping up our Junior year at Proviso West High School and as the final days of junior year ticked away, we all became filled with the anticipation of what was about to take place. Well almost all of us. There were a few dudes hanging out behind the auto shop that may not have had quite the excitement and focus as the rest of the Class of 78. But nonetheless, it was here...the day my friends and I were waiting for. As the last final exam was completed and that final bell rang, just like that, I was a senior! When you go to a huge high school like Proviso West, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. Now I certainly wasn’t one of the cool kids but I do have to admit, I had some really cool friends heading into that senior year. And they were all awesome and cool in their own way  

Even though during those years I never eclipsed the 5’6” mark on the wall, I had some good friendships with some really big dudes at PWHS. I mean they were big...tall...vertically unchallenged as it were. Brett seemed to be 7’ and so did Ron. Pat O was a monster too. Looking back I’m going to guess they were in the mid 6 foot range but to me they were giants. We were friends all four years but this year, senior year was different. We were on top of the mountain of high school life and those guys were the coolest of cool. Being a high school athlete had to be the pinnacle. Especially becoming a senior.

 Somehow I had also forged a close friendship with one of the prettiest girls in a school of thousands. Carolyn was the captain of the dance and pom pom squad and her and I used to meet in the halls between classes and we chatted almost everyday. And she hung out with the greatest collection of friends that made an adolescent guy like me crazy. 

I may not have been a cool kid but when I became a senior I did some things that I thought were pretty cool at the time, and maybe still.  I was there editor of the Mural in 1978 which was the high school yearbook. Everyday for months the staff and I met to build that 300+ page yearbook that holds the memories of turning into a senior for so many of my classmates. Along with Mike, my still best friend ever, we took nearly every one of the candid photos for that book and when the first copy was delivered, maybe for the first time in my life, I felt really accomplished and pretty cool. I was also the sports editor of the Profile, the school newspaper. I had my own column and I wrote stories about all the different sporting events that entire senior year too. I wrote some stories that were really good and insightful and a few others that got me threatened with a meeting in the parking lot after school. Such is the life of a journalist! At the time I was sure that those experiences were going to launch me into a career of journalism. Looking at the media today, maybe it’s a blessing my life took another direction. After all these years, turning a senior at PWHS is mostly a clouded memory. I recall bits and pieces. I was the dude at basketball games that got hoisted up on someone's shoulders and shouted out, “Give me a P…” I remember being the first person to put on the new Panther mascot costume Coach Lucas and Mr. Skul had bought and I remember being a faithful part time team manager for the basketball team that senior year. I remember after the last loss of the season I sat in the locker room with those cool giants and I cried. “Coach Luke” came over and consoled me and told me thanks for everything. That moment really meant the world to me and it was probably the first time I considered being a senior was coming to a close. 

I even met my first wife my senior year. She wasn't a Panther but she did live close by in Elmhurst. We met at Dominick's and that eventually led directly to two great kids and three grandkids. Wow! All in all, being a senior was pretty cool.

And here I am today. Once again, I’ve become a senior. But let me tell you, it came without the same anticipation or excitement. Now to be completely clear, there is some debate as to when a person officially becomes a senior. Some say it’s 65. The Social Security Administration, in some cases, says it’s 62. For some reason, me personally always had the number 60 attached to it. Maybe now that I’m 60, I should rethink the connection. But you know what, it’s just a number and just a word. Some people say that in the context of growing old, the word senior has a negative connotation. The PC word to be used should be “elderly.” Really, elderly? I don’t like that at all. I may not be old but I am definitely not elderly. Am I? But for the sake of argument, let’s just say 60 is seniorly. What sort of cool things come with becoming a senior this go around? It appears that the gallbladder is a right of senior passage. That thing must not like being housed in a senior because half of everyone I know had to have it removed. And remember, as a senior, people like to tell you it’s not surgery...it’s just a procedure. Another thrill of being a senior is the eyesight. It appears as you progress through the years you go from readers to prescription glasses to bi-focals to trifocals and then “progressives.” The pinnacle (I hope) of a never ending battle with blurry vision. Another treasure of seniordum is that first 30 minutes or more of every single morning for the rest of ever I guess. Back in the day my alarm would go off, I would spin out of bed, get ready for school or work and take off. Now there is a strategic series of snoozes, slow turns over the edge of the bed, an occasional reach for the wall and a very deliberate walk to the first destination in the morning. Sorry dogs, your business has to wait for my business. And what do seniors do while doing their business? I, for one, look at The Facebook. And what do I see when I look at The Facebook? It appears people my age look a lot older than I think I look. Must be part of that whole “blurry vision” issue. If I am in fact a senior again, it sure looks a lot different than it did 42 years ago. But ironically, there are the benefits.

Back in 1978, as a senior, we thought we could do anything. We had a closed campus at PWHS but at lunchtime I still left to go to McDonald’s for a burger or Ne’Joes for an Italian sub. Once the truant officer stopped me at the gate before I got out of the south lot and asked me where I thought I was going. I chose what I thought was the best route and told him to get some lunch. He handed me a 5 and asked if I would grab him something. Being a senior had it’s privilege. And being a senior still does today. I find that as a senior, if that’s what I am, I can get away with saying things I couldn’t when I was younger. Now for the record, subtlety helps, but having the same filter as a younger man is not required. I notice that beating around the bush is a much shorter process. 

Me: “Can I have just a large iced tea? That's it.” 

The other person: “Anything else with that?” 

Me again: “Did you NOT hear the words JUST and THAT'S IT tucked into that sentence?”

The disgruntled other person: “(grumble...mumble...old fart)”

But in reality, landing at 60 and looking at life in perspective ain’t such a bad thing. There are some real blessings to this senior stuff and I’m not talking about AARP discounts. This is more about life in general. I have four great kids that are moving through life at breakneck speed sometimes, and I love them very much and I’m so proud of them all. I wish we connected more often but modern day electronics makes it easier to fill the gaps. A quick text or a social media “like” or thumbs up will never be a substitute for a call or a visit, but it lets us know that we’re all still out there. And I have the blessing of three grandkids that fill my life with joy and happiness. The 12 year old lives in south central IL so we need to use our devices to connect and talking to grandpa isn’t much of a priority to a video game playing, pre-teen but we do our best. The 8 and 6 year old live close by and I get to see them frequently. My granddaughter who is the youngest, observes my senior status by asking, “grandpa, why do you sit in your chair and watch those cooking shows all the time?” I want to load up one of those unfiltered replies but she’s so darn cute I just tell her, “Because I can’t find the remote to change the channel.” The fun part about my middle grandson is that at 8 years old he’s starting to let his hair grow out. And in senior fashion I asked him if he was trying to look like one of the Beatles. That got me the most puzzled look and after a pause, “who’s that?” 

And as a senior today, I look back to when I was a senior back then. I fondly remember those giants that I was friends with. Sadly Brett lost his life several years ago but I still think of him from those days and I can’t help but smile. Even though he was a massive dude in my eyes, I’ll always remember that he had a giant heart too. He always treated me like I was part of his circle even though I existed on the edge of that circle at best. And that pretty dance team captain that befriended me way back when, well she is still a BFF and not only one of the most beautiful women I know inside and out, she’s a successful business woman, an author, a proud momma and a loving, devoted wife. And I can gladly say, even though we’re a couple of hundred miles apart, we stay connected and chat often. My best friend forever Mike and I connect almost daily. Sometimes it’s a call or a text. Maybe a dad joke or a backhanded jab. We even have laughs about being seniors. Sometimes remembering 1978 and other times trying to remember stuff from 2020. 

Through the miracle of social media, even though I live over 200 miles from where I lived the first time I was a senior, I am still connected to dozens and dozens of friends from those great days at Proviso West and even earlier at MacArthur and Jefferson. For example, at our last class reunion, Tom and his band played for a couple of hours and it’s hard to believe he and I met in 1971. That guy is a rocking, surfing, boating senior and a really cool dude (does that sound seniorish?) now living in Florida. Steve and Mark and others live in Cali, Donna lives in Texas, Bill lives in Michigan, Diane has traveled all over Europe and also lived in Germany. Rich has lived in Colorado for years. My cousin Pat and his wife Patty who are also 78ers have been in Oregon for as long as I can remember. And hundreds of others are scattered all across the land and sadly, several others have gone before us. But for those that remain, there is a line of commonality that we all share and have shared before. At one time we were all seniors before life really got going. And here we all are, seniors (maybe) again. It really doesn’t matter about our life perspectives or where we stand in today’s climate of world views, we cannot separate ourselves from the fact that we were seniors together back in 1978 and we may or may not be seniors together again now. In a few years, many of us will meet again or for the first time at a class reunion. We will have happy memories about those first senior days and share a lot of laughs and a few tears. And surely the conversation will turn to current senior days and all of our own transition to being a modern day senior.

[sidelinesbysam]

What In The World Are You Doing?

What in the world are you doing? A question I’m sure many of us had to answer in our younger days and maybe even as an adult. There is no doubt we have encountered a teacher, a parent or even a spouse that has caught us in the middle of doing something that has necessitated the question, “What in the world are you doing?” But that really isn’t the question I’m talking about. This isn’t about, “Hey...you...what the heck are you doing?” This is totally about, “What are you doing in this world...to have an impact?” Do you have a plan every day to have an impact on the lives of the people around you? For so long I have been getting by day to day without making a difference. I wake up, go to work, do my job, come home, sit in my chair...wash, rinse, repeat. No significance, no impact, no real meaning. Now I have been a faithful, passive volunteer at my church for years. For a long time I worked in kids ministry and lead weekly large group sessions, delivered messages to the kids and even did some leadership in VBS. I really loved my time with the kids and I am amazed today when I see some of them announcing their careers, marriages and even child births on social media. Where have the years gone? But in those days, I had a feel for what I was doing in that world. I have also been blessed enough to use God’s gift to be able to speak at our church’s food pantry that is now our Impact Center. Sometimes there are nearly 200 people getting the blessing food and necessities to help them get through the week. And I get the blessing of bringing those there a message of God’s word. Something else I feel I am doing in this world. But past that, I just don’t know if I’m having an impact. I just don’t know what, if anything, I am doing in this world.

Being the proud father of four and grandfather of three, you would think I would be able to point to more real impact. But these days the only thing I feel is a sort of disappointment for the years of not really having the kind of impact on my family that I thought I would have had. When we’re younger we imagine that as we grow old we can look back on a long list of family victories. But sometimes the only things that seem to stick out is where things went wrong. Now understand, I have four really great kids. My oldest son has taken his entrepreneurial spirit and ability to do some of the deepest research and he has created a business model for something that some day soon will revolutionize the home meal replacement segment by combining it with artisan chefs and farm to table food. My daughter and her husband are raising three beautiful kids in Bloomington, Indiana while juggling the challenges of having a family in the 21st century. My two youngest sons are going to college, working full time, making “Dean’s List” grades and living the lives of twenty-somethings. Let there be no confusion, I think my kids are great and I am so very proud of the adults they have become. But truthfully at times, I wonder if I had anything at all to do with that. I wonder what in this world I did to get them to where they are today. I know in my heart it didn’t happen by magic and I realized I must have pushed the right buttons somewhere along the way, but still, what stands out is all the dropped balls. I feel like I see more of the missed opportunities than I see the strong impacts on their lives.

So what’s a person to do? Do we fold up the tent? Do we tell God, “You know God, I gave it the ‘ol college try, sorry it didn’t work out better.” Do we go back to our chairs and wash, rinse and repeat? I’m not sure that is the best plan or the sign of a real calling. I don’t believe there are any bible verses that say give up and go home. To the contrary, Joshua 1:9 comes to heart…”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Don’t be dismayed. Don’t get discouraged when the evidence is unclear. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t! Maybe you have been doing more in this world than you thought. Maybe, just maybe your impact is bigger than you realize. But now is definitely not the time to step back and take it easy. Today is the day. Now is the time. Get off the chair. Take the bull by the horns and do the thing that needs to be done. What is that thing for you?

Well for me, I know exactly what that thing is. It’s been the same thing it’s been for the last 10 plus years. The time has come for me to have a huge impact for someone in this world. As a parent it is very painful to see one of your own, one of the lives you are responsible for, get taken advantage of. It hurts to see them hurt. Unfortunately the passive side of me stood by and let things unfold because I felt I didn’t have the power. Today, I have the power! God has given us the power to go out into the world and make a difference. Use your power to make a difference in your children’s lives. Use that same power to make a difference in someone else’s life. Through God gather your strength, set your focus on making the changes that need to be made, look to the heavens for the encouragement to find out the answer when God Himself asks you, “What, in this world, are you doing?”

1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

[sidelinesbysam]

Pray for Me...I’ll Pray for You 05/13/09

Pray for Me…I’ll pray for you Two very common phrases in the modern Christian lexicon. As I have spent over 10 years as an active member of a wonderful, local Christian mega-church, I have developed countless relationships with an incredible variety of people of faith. Over the years I have met up with Bible scholars, pastors, teachers, students, people struggling, people that seem to be right on their game, leaders, followers, parents, children, true believers, doubters, hopeful and the hopeless. But a common thread through them all has been prayer. I cannot remember a single person that didn’t pray in some form or another. Prayer is such a powerful tool. I can point to so many times that circumstances change their shape because of prayer. I have seen illness healed, I have seen relationships restored, I have seen people that dedicate their lives to Jesus and I have seen blessings bestowed all because of prayer. And God’s word itself tells us to pray. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.—James 5:16 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;—1 Timothy 2:8 16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 But what about these two statements? First let’s look at “pray for me.” For some it is a challenging request. So many people don’t ever want anyone to know that they are struggling. They feel it is weakness and a sign of failure. There are folks that would never even consider making a bold prayer request. And myself being someone that has opened up and asked for prayer, it can sometimes feel like being gutted like a fish. For me there is nothing worse than asking for prayer and then feeling like no one is praying. That there is the work of the enemy but it feels very real. And it has a tendency to make you feel helpless and hopeless. So I try to stay bold. When I have a real need in my life I contact a few close friends, my small group and maybe a pastor or two. I let them know my prayer needs and pray myself that they are standing in intersession for me and my needs. For the devoted that never ask for prayer, I encourage you to change. Ask for prayer when you need it. There is relief in knowing that someone has your back and is lifting you up to the Lord. It is just too hard to always try and do it on your own. God tells us to carry each others burdens. I consider it a true honor when someone asks me to pray for them. Then there is “I’ll pray for you.” That is one heavy commitment. To know that someone has a real prayer need and has felt open enough to ask you to lift them up to God in heaven. And here is my weakness…I am not a good prayer journal keeper. I really wish I were. I wish I was disciplined enough to track peoples needs because it is such a blessing when you see the answered prayers. But here is what I have learned to do to keep up on those much honored requests. When I get an Email with prayer requests or a phone call or message, I stop whatever I am doing right then and I pray. This way I know that they are covered and that I haven’t let the opportunity get away. And a dear friend and prayer warrior of mine added this thought…when someone just pops into your head for whatever reason, pray for them. She really believes and I can’t argue that God put the thought of them there for a reason so what better thing to do than pray? Right now on Facebook there is nearly a million people that are fans of prayer. I myself pray every day throughout the day. Some are simple little praises and requests and others are prayers that I have been praying for years. That’s right…years! I believe God answers all prayers. He just may not answer them the way WE want them answered or in the time frame WE desire. We have to have faith that He is always certain of what is truly best for us. I have spent nearly 50 years jacking up things left and right. But God has always given me just what I need to get through. Today, I humbly ask you all to pray for me. God knows my needs and He wants me to be humble enough to ask you all to lift me up to Him. Just ask and I will pray for you!

[sidelinesbysam]

The Social Media Circus

There is no doubt that life in today’s social media circus can be dangerous at best and perilous at its worst. These days I look at Social Media like a 3 ring circus. Twitter in one ring,Instagram in another ring and Facebook right there in the center ring. All sitting under the Big Top of the World Wide Web on a desktop, laptop, tablet or cell phone near you. When I first dove into the Social Media waters in 2008...for the record I discount a failed attempt at My Space and some useless thing AOL was doing at the time...I did some ‘checking in’, I ‘connected’ with some friends that were cutting edge because they were already SM users, and I regularly told everyone what I was doing. Actual FB quotes from 2008, “Monday at 6 AM and I'm at work...again!” “Is it Tuesday already?” “Friday night under the lights! Go Trojans!” I guess I was into the days of the week, and this there is this gem from September 4th, 2008, my second week on Facebook and my first, stellar SM political statement, “Sarah Palin will be fabulous as the next VP and this ticket is going to rock Washington DC!” Well...they’re not all “Don’t miss reading” I guess. But there it was, my first SM political statement on Facebook and I haven’t looked back. Except to write this blog of course. But all this takes me to a recent dinner with my oldest child Sonny. Like all good children do, he was making me aware of the  tenor of my SM posts and how they could be perceived. It was a great give and take, he was giving and I was taking. But in all honesty, his wisdom and insight really got my attention. He exposed a true insight to the SM world that I knew of but never gave a whole lot of thought to. It’s one thing to express your thoughts to friends and family and to let people know where you stand on a topic, but it’s completely another thing to fire off a post that reaches far and wide and is potentially read by people that may or may not know you or know the context in which that statement was made. There is also the far reaching impact SM comments can have. I never gave a lot of thought as to how SM comments can have a ripple effect on other friends and family members. Not just whether or not they agree or disagree with you or whether they are offended by the words that were said, but what others will think of the people that are closest to you based on what YOU said and not on what THEY believe. My son’s wise insight gave me reason to pause and rethink what the heck SM was originally created for and how differently it is being used today. And how exactly I was using it.

The things I like best about the Social Media landscape is the connection with people you wouldn’t normally be connected to. I have over 800 Facebook “friends” and quite frankly I cannot possibly imagine knowing that many people, but nearly 100 of them are people from Proviso West High School. A place I attended 40 years ago that is over 200 miles from where I live now. I communicate with my 2 closest friends in the entire world regularly on Facebook. I get to see the things they do, the places they go, the meals they eat, the pets they have, the clothes they wear, the turkeys they hunt, the books they write, the time they spend with their kids, the time they spend with their families, the vehicles they drive, their swimming pools, their motorcycles, their time spent at sporting events, the restaurants they go to, where they work, what they do where they go...and on and on and on! And that’s just my 2 best friends. I have over 800 more people that are FB “friends.” Now I love those 2 with all my heart and seriously, I do enjoy living their adventures with them on line. And then there are the other family and friends that we regularly scroll through their posts and photos and we get to see their kids growing up, their successes and trials and their best recipes for banana bread. We also get to see first day of school, last day of school, vacations, stay-cations and more daily events we could ever imagine. The other blessing is getting to share your faith in hopes it inspires someone and the ability to pray for someone when they simply ask. We also quickly learn of the passing of people we know or the passing of loved ones of our own friends and family. Social Media gives us the chance to rejoice and to grieve with our connections.

So that leads me back to the enlightening and encouraging conversation Sonny and I had. What the hell is SM really intended to do? Over the past 2 years it has really taken a hard turn down. The battles and fights over politics, religion, ideologies, beliefs, things individuals stand for, and the things we may or may not hold dear have become very dark and deeply mean spirited at times. Something that was created to simply connect people through an online platform has become a place mainly filled with anger, hostility, advertising, political statements, news stories and quite frankly, lots of bad news. I cannot imagine for one second that was the intent when it was first created. Maybe I’m wrong but I sure hope not. But at this point I’ve made myself reconsider what my place is in all this. I’ve never been a big boycott kinda’ guy so I have no intention of pulling the plug on my SM presence. But I certainly plan to carefully rethink what I put out there for the world to see. I’m proud of my family and I think there is always a place to post pictures of the people you love. I sorta’ like food so I’m sure there will be food pictures. I love sports so you can count on me commenting on wins and losses and games well played and not so well played. If you follow me at all you know I kinda’ like the doggies so there will always be pet pictures. There will be some Bible verses, some inspirational thoughts, a strong dose of sarcasm, some music videos, a hand full of memes and those famous Throw Back Thursday pictures that hopefully will make someone embarrassed on occasion. But more importantly, thanks to the well thought out insight of my son, my timeline will have less conflict and controversy, much less politics, lots more family and friends and hopefully more messages of peace and hope! In a world where you can find adversity at the turn of every corner and the scroll of every SM page, I choose to be more of a light in the darkness instead of a shadow in the light. Thank you son for shining the light!

[sidelinesbysam]

What If I Was Thankful?

Over the past several years I have unfortunately allowed myself to be defined by my circumstances. I have allowed the ebb and flow of life to frame the picture of me. There have beens some ups, a strong helping of downs, but all in all, so very much to be thankful for. As I sat in the second row this morning...in my best Dr. Sheldon Cooper neurosis...I was in “My Spot,” I listened to Pastor Chris deliver an exceptional message from the series, What If? Today’s message was titled, What If I Were More Thankful? Now I’m a good sermon note taker and I do my best to jot down key verses and thoughts, but this particular message really spoke to me right out loud. Now don’t misunderstand, I try to be a thankful guy. In my regular prayer time I usually do my best to thank the Lord for His provision and protection. I selfishly pray for His blessing on my family and I tend to ask Him to fix what I think needs to be fixed.I really want Him to adjust His plan so that my circumstances aren’t so challenging. Because, you know, life’s hard or whatever. But some things in particular seem to just hang on and continue gnaw away at the fabric of my life. Now before the people who know me well start to tell me I myself may possibly contribute to this roller coaster ride, to you I say, “No Duh!?” I’m fully aware that I have chosen to endure this sometimes miserable sausage grinder I call life. I have stood by for so long what I believed I was being called to do. But all those days were just a season in my life to get me where I am today and to where I’m headed to tomorrow. I have begun to realize that I am no more defined by my circumstances than I am defined by the morning traffic I drive in or the result of the last Colt’s game.

The definition of me is not my failed attempts at a life long marriage or having my status changed at my job by someone who had lost all grip on his own circumstances. I am defined by the person that I am and who I am trying to become. I am a grandfather, a weekend photographer, a not often enough writer, a volunteer, a hard worker and an all around nice guy.  I am a loving, caring father that has always done my very best to put my kids first. I’m not going to go on and on about specifics, I am just going say that I know I haven’t always made the best decisions when it comes to my children, but I have always had the best of intentions. Over these past few years as they have all grown into the unbelievably fantastic adults that they are, I have realized that I have this very special bond with them all. We encourage each other and we regularly express our love for each other. But most of all I know that they appreciate the dad I have always tried to be. Through it all, they saw love and faithfulness and commitment and perseverance. No matter how things turned out, they knew what they were going to get from Dad. I will gladly allow that to define me.

I am a diligent worker and I take pride in the effort and commitment I have always put in at the workplace. In 2001 I had my first real taste of corporate politics and I was rubbed out at Boston Market like so many other middle managers were at that time That bitter pill was so hard to swallow for a long, long time. It sent me into a tailspin that I really never recovered from. Folded into losing that job, the man that was always there for me left this world. My dad passed away in July of 2001 just a few short months after I left Boston Market. I was in quite the little funk but it was all made more bearable by my doctor’s prescription pad. Through the miracle of modern medicine I remember not really feeling any extreme emotion around the time of Dad’s funeral. I was just kinda’ numb. I pushed through the motions and made it through it all. And then, on the ride back home to Indy after the funeral, I was strongly reminded that divorce #2 was still moving forward. Job...dad...marriage...all gone within a few months. I can say in all humility that all that was the start of 10 very dark years. But within those years I was blessed in my eyes and in my heart by getting re-married to the love of my life in 2006. With an unwavering faith in God I made it to 2010. That’s when I returned to the car business. Four really good years at Ed Martin Honda interrupted only by a 90 day stint at a local Ford dealership that made promises they chose to not keep. But no worries...Dave welcomed me back with open arms. Then came the chance to become a car manager at another dealership. I was anxious and excited and hopeful that this would be the big break I needed to really become something. Did you see what I did right there? I said to become something as if what I was just wasn’t good enough. I guess it wasn’t. Like so many other men before me and so many men to come, I was defining myself by my job. But just like I have always done, I dove into the ice cold water feet first. I worked and worked and worked some more. I was at times, treated with a level of disrespect that was unrivaled. But being the good worker bee, I soldiered on. I gave my time, my effort and a huge percentage of my life to what was defining me at the time...my job. My misplaced focus added to all of what became wrong with marriage number 3 and before I could say Happy Honda Days, along came the beginnings of divorce #3. And to make matters worse, after all that dedication and devotion, I was summoned to the “Big Office” to have my manager’s position taken away from me. No documentation, no disciplinary action, no plan no discussion...just the comment, starting Monday you will no longer be a sales manager. You can go back to selling cars if you want. And here I go again, instead of searching for the blessing within the disaster, I allowed it to define who I was. Separated from my family, no longer a manager, living alone in a small two bedroom apartment and Christmas right around the corner, I was once again allowing the enemy to define me by my circumstances. But I found a job closer to home, sold some cars, visited with my family whenever possible and kept the faith. My oldest son Sonny stayed with me for a while and he brought me the comfort and encouragement I really needed at the time. Through all this I remained hopeful and faithful that marriage #3 would never segway into divorce #3. But that isn’t part of the plan...it doesn’t appear.

So where am I today? I’m not completely sure I know. But what I do know is that I am still very thankful. I am thankful I am back into management in the car business with one of the very best bosses I have ever had with a great company! I am thankful for those 4 kids that call me Dad. They are my rock, my strength and my motivation. I am thankful to those three little ones that call me Grandpa. They bring me a different level of joy that I cannot even begin to explain. I am thankful for Kim who through the 2 broken marriages has always remained my friend. We love each other but we just can’t do married. And I am thankful for the undefined opportunities that lie ahead. I just don’t know where this life is going to take me but I have chosen to get there by walking a leisurely stroll. No more roller coaster rides for me!

1 Chronicles 16:34 (NIV)  Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His love endures forever.

[sidelinesbysam]

I’ve Reached the National Speed Limit

Well I guess I’ve reached the speed limit. When I was growing up, 55 was the national speed limit. It was thought to be a way to conserve energy and to make the roads safer. I guess if everyone got to 55 the slower pace would be a way to have a less dangerous existence. I feel like I’ve reached my speed limit. For me and all my 1960 friends, we are at the speed limit. Some of you may already be exceeding the magic number, but none the less, here we are. I’m sure it means different things to all of us but here's what I’ve noticed.

 I’ve gotten to the point where I just don’t care! Not that negative, life draining “I don’t care” but more of a care free, that doesn’t really bother me “I don’t care.” Now there are things I do care about like my family, my future and my health, but there are things that just don’t really get to me anymore. Those important things like, “what do you want for lunch?” “someone took my parking spot” and “did you see the look that waitress just gave you?” Now that I reached the speed limit I’m much less flustered by the little things in life but I do still get irritated by stupidity. But some of my friends have a saying about that too…”You can’t fix it and there's no pill for it.” But I digress, I just think at this point, there is no real reason to get your undies all in a bunch over things you can’t control. I have spent the better part of the last 20 years with someone who always wished I would have cared more about a lot of things and maybe my overall indifference has put me where I am today, but it is who I am. And now that I’ve reached the speed limit I’m not really sure there's going to be a lot of life altering behavior on my part. Does that sound a little stubborn? Yeah, I thought so.

 I guess I drive too slow! I’m reminded of that every time my kids or their mom go anywhere with me. Now keep in mind, I’m not a left lane slow roller. The left lane is reserved for the maniacs and idiots who are mashing it like their wife is dilated to 9. I just tend to travel at the number on the sign. I feel safer that way. After all, I’m a speed limit guy...remember? But that's in direct opposition to Kim who believes the number on the sign is merely a suggestion, but then, she has had much more one on one contact with the people sworn to uphold those suggestions than I have. And...she’s still living life under the speed limit so I guess she thinks it’s ok to drive over it...a lot...often. And as a side note, I don’t get too close to the car in front of me and according to my youngest, I don’t always signal. Maybe that's part of that whole, I don’t care thing. I’m not a nuisance on the road I just try to be stealthy.

  I sleep more than I used too.  Back in the day when I was way under the speed limit, I would click on 4-5 hours a night. I was in the restaurant biz, I worked a lot of long days, I would come home and eat something and stay up and watch TV and go to sleep well after midnight. I would get up between 5:00 and 6:00 and do it all over again.  Anymore, not so much. Now I realize that possibly those poor bedroom habits lead to the demise of a marriage or two but as you know, I’m at the speed limit so I guess I don’t really care!  That's not totally true but it sure makes this story sound better. These days I get home from work at 8:30-9:00 and I pull up a spot in my favorite chair with every intention of reliving the glory days. But somehow sleep grabs a hold of me unexpectedly and I find myself in slumber town long before Fallon hits the airwaves. And tomorrow it will be all I can do to not hit the snooze button or do morning math. I think you know what I’m talking about. Let’s see, snooze is 10 minutes, if I push it twice...carry the two...take a really fast shower, skip stopping for coffee….hope I’m not late!

 And my least favorite part of reaching the speed limit…

 I just can’t eat like I used to! I’ve never been too picky of an eater and I never really limited my choices. But now that I’m at the speed limit, and quite honestly ever since I reached the golden marker, I just can’t eat the things I used to. Now I know I’m not unique in this struggle but it's the truth of growing ol….of getting ol...more mature! Fried chicken...love it! My tummy, not so much. Chinese food...a favorite. Burp city, here I come. A red onion or a green pepper can make a grown man cry. And if they’re raw, put a fork in me, I’m done. Any of your basic polish sausages, kielbasas, wursts, spicy wieners and even some pepperonis...now there’s reason to call out the Mylanta and Tums. I’m even an honorary member of the No Gallbladder Club! Now if that doesn’t sound like an ol’ guy thing, what does?

 But what can you do? People like me who have reached the National Speed Limit find themselves AARP eligible, qualified for varying discounts here and there and approaching the point in life where if you say something really out there, you catch a pass because, after all, you are getting older. I move slower, creak more, pop and snap on occasion and create other sounds that don’t really need to be discussed. I’ve lost some patience but gained more interest. I’ve become even less spontaneous and a little more wise. I’m content with being with my family and wouldn’t trade that for anything. I do really struggle at times but I try to have integrity and faith. I tear up way more than I used to and I find myself missing people more and more. I have never concerned myself with my age but these days the fact that I’m closer to the end than the beginning really does get to me sometimes. So I’ll pass the speed limit this year on July 26th and the next marker to look forward to is my Beddian Birthday. That’s when your age is the same as the last 2 digits of your birthyear. Really...that's a thing. And as I move forward I continue to be thankful for the blessings, the trials, the people I have, the people I’ve lost, the people that I love and the people that love me. I’ve reached the National Speed Limit...drive fast...take chance! Yeah, I don’t think so.

[sidelinesbysam]

This is for My Kids

This is really meant to be an open letter to my four fantastic kids. Anyone who has been on social media for more than ten minutes knows that gushing over your kids is a pre requisite of any parent that has an account. I have been guilty my self. I have kids that have played sports, raised wonderful families, did great in school and are living a life with a courage I cannot possibly explain. They have all done things that make me bloat with pride. They love life, love Italian food, but most of all, they love family! And not necessarily “their” family...just family. Now stick with me for a minute. They all do love their family, but this is about la familia, their heritage, their roots...where they come from. 

Now before I hear from some family members claiming its more about “their”  family, I respectfully say, write your own blog. This is my 2 cents about how I see it. All four of my kids relate heavily with my Italian, Chicago background. They all see a romance and an intrigue in that part of their lives. And that is the glue that bonds the five of us together. Sonny, Kelly, Timmy and Bobby all love that piece of family that isn't really able to be talked about or articulated.There is just that...something...that special thing that brings people that hardly know each other together and behave like they have know each other all their lives. And that's because they have know each other...inside.That’s la familia. It’s that family thing where you never have to say to someone, “call me if you ever need anything.” They already know. You don’t have to say I love...I love you more...no I love YOU more. They already know. Don’t misunderstand, we say I love you all the time. But this kind of family love is not an I love you more contest. It’s just a real, family love.  

You see your family, your kids especially, are your’s forever. Lots of people come and go but la familia...that's forever! We don’t move on once they turn 18. We don’t ever have the mind set that once they get old enough I can go back to my life. They are my life. Straight to my kids...you are my life! I don’t need to apologize and it surely doesn't mean no one else fits in. It simply means that I am always your dad and I am always here for you. A trait I myself learned from a really, really great dad. My dad was always there for my brother and me. All the way up until his very last day, that man was always there for us. A trait I am trying so hard to carry on today. A trait I’m trying to teach the four fantastic people that call me dad. As my kids read this, I know they are nodding their heads and saying, “I know exactly what he means.” Because we are five people all on the same page,

The truth is, this blog is for me. I didn't have to write is so that they would know. They know...I know they know. There is no doubt they know. I have never been a perfect dad. I have failed them too often to remember and I know I have let them down far too many times. I have been reminded of that lately by what I assume are perfect parents. But oddly enough, my kids still love me, they still count on me, they still forgive me for my failures and they still call me dad. And until I’m gone, they can call me anytime. If anyone reading this still doesn't get, let me put it to you like this...you see, there’s this thing, this thing about family that never fades away, never quits because of what you do, never ends because of your choices, never weakens as the years pass and never turns it back in times of need. I guess real family is like perfect marriage vows...for better or worse, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, all the days of our lives. I love you four more than I could ever say...Dad.

[sidelinesbysam]

Hello 2015

As my 2014 quietly faded away into the night and was replaced with the hope of the all new 2015, I realize there is so little I can do to move the bar on those things outside of my control. We have all been given many gifts by the Creator, and this year I hope to use those gifts that I have been given to help influence others, change lives and be the very best I can be for my family that I love so very much.

God has taken the time to show me that there is no shame in having a loving loyalty to the people that are the most important to me. But the reality is that no matter how much you pour into others, their vessel is sometimes cracked and everything you put in just spills out. There is little you can do. You have to make a choice. I pray for those with broken vessels. God, please heal them and seal them and fill their lives with the power of the Holy Spirit.

I am so grateful for my amazing children and my beautiful grandchildren. These are the true blessings in my life. 2015 and moving forward will reveal a strengthened dedication to be everything I can be to those precious lives. If I could ever be there half as much as my dad was for me, there will be more blessing for my family than imaginable. Mi Familia!

I guess I’m addicted to having a job where I can help the people that I work with get better, have the ability to provide more for their families and to have a limitless opportunity to improve and grow. I cannot wait to see this rose bloom this year. I look forward to teaching, learning and to growing and creating a limitless opportunity for myself and our people. We do not just sell vehicles. We do all we can to help people buy them. And we build lasting relationships based on trust and integrity.

I have a few very close friends that I am looking forward to strengthening and growing our relationship this year. People that have reached out, who have always been there and who I am building a newer and deeper relationship with. There is nothing like a friend that is concerned about you, there for you and always available for you. I look forward to making those special relationships stronger and to being a friends they can count on as much as I count on them. Friendships are like marriage… Each person should be all in for the other. I am so thankful for those friends. And I want them to lean on me and to be all I can be for them. Even if it is as simple as praying for them.

There is so much to be said about honoring God with the gifts He has given you. I want to strengthen my relationship with Him even more this year. I want to use the tools He has provided to continue to present His hope through His word to the people I get to share with. And no matter how much my faith is questioned and challenged by the people who are closest to me, I will not get discouraged and give up. Leaky vessels also tend to make a mess. Again, praying for those leaky vessels that don’t really understand a limitless faith.

2015, like every year, comes in with so much promise. It is our opportunity to make the most of it. To mold it and shape it into everything we want it to be. Don’t allow the leaky vessels, the nay sayers and the joy stealers to take away what you have chosen to put into your life. Yesterday is gone. Don’t dwell on it. Tomorrow is unsure. Just be prepared for it. Today is right here, right now. Make the most of every moment you are in.

[sidelinesbysam]

Proud to Be Part of the Trojan Environment

In a really proud moment for my wife Kim and me, our 18 year old son Timmy graduated from Center Grove High School this past weekend. We have lived in the Center Grove community for the better part of a dozen years. We love the community and we love the school system. It has been a great place to raise a family. No school district is perfect and no community is perfect but we've enjoyed just about everything about living here in this area. But I was especially moved by the events of the commencement of graduation. Timmy is a great kid, a great son and a very good student. But this isn't about him, this is about the ceremony itself. It was obvious that a lot of thought and practice went into the ceremony. Students were ready, staff members were ready and the guests in the audience were orderly and attentive. But the first thing that really struck me was when the choir sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I was pleased and proud that they boldly sang the words "God's truth is marching on." In this era of unending political correctness and appeasing, it was good to hear a reference to God in a ceremony like this. But I have to say in my mind (unfortunately) I was thinking, oh this may be a problem! And then the speakers began to speak. The first student speaker finished her dissertation with a conclusion of "and God bless." Then the valedictorian declared his life's happiness in Jesus Christ. That was three very clear references to faith and a higher power in a graduation ceremony. Now being a man in strong Christian faith I surely enjoyed and appreciated hearing these things. But more importantly it was obvious that in the simple presentation of those words no one should have been offended or felt discriminated against. It is a song with strong history in American culture and two students who were just speaking from the heart. No controversy, no flare up of tempers, no disruption of the ceremony. As it should be! We are a country of diverse cultures, beliefs and social backgrounds. Center Grove is a community of just the same. Very often and we hear stories about someone filing suit to keep the name of God from ceremonies like this or similar. People of faith believe that it is God that is behind such ceremonies. And for those who have a different belief system or sadly have no faith, the rest of the ceremony was a strong showing of accomplishments of over 500 Center Grove students. Now don't get me wrong, that I know of, there has been absolutely no complaints of the references to God in that ceremony. And I am mostly thankful that the administrators at Center Grove did not put those restrictions on the ceremony. It was simply a great 90 minutes of celebration of the accomplishments of those seniors. Imagine how much easier so many people's lives would be if they weren't so offended about every little thing that is said and done by others. And those very people are the ones that will argue, "yeah but, yeah but, yeah but..." as they try to justify why they whine and meddle in everything that goes on. And you know who they are. Just read their social media posts. Or maybe you need to read your own posts! But the point here is to thank the Center Grove Community School District for allowing a ceremony that was not only inspirational but organized and well done. I am looking forward to when our next son graduates in two years. Well done Center Grove well done.

[sidelinesbysam]

It's tough this year

I guess I really am getting older. My two youngest sons are now both in high school. One is a junior who is planning life after high school and the other is a freshman who is...for th first time since first grade...NOT playing football. No more practices, no game days, no washing practice gear and uniforms every day, no "mom...where is my mouth guard?" it's really different. We became a football family. Timmy played 3 years of football and Bobby played eight seasons. At one time I added up the games and practices and that number was pretty big! But that's all behind us now. Timmy was never really passionate about the game but Bobby was built for football. A classic interior lineman that played both sides of the ball. He has always been a big, solid dude and right now, at the age of 14, he is as big and strong as a man. He made several all star teams and we were involved in football from June to November several times. It was football, football, football this time of year. But in our lives, the page has turned. Last season, Bobby had a concussion. And according to the specialist, it may have been multiple and it certainly was significant. Strong headaches for weeks, dizziness, fatigue, lack of concentration, a black out or two were all the new part of our day to day lives. Of course our initial reaction was a bit of, "rub some dirt on it and get one game." But that wasn't working this time. As the days passed this wasn't going away. And with the increased awareness on head injuries, we decided to go to a pediatric, athletic physician that specialized in head trauma. Tests, more tests, follow up, restrictions, tests again and on and on. We made it through the season and Bobby got to play a few more games. He was able to finish the season in uniform and walk off that field one last time as a Trojan football player. I remember a few years back one Friday night when Carmel came to CGHS for a classic evening under those Friday Night Lights. Many CGers will never forget the end of that game. Somehow, some way the ball popped loose late in the game and Carmel scooped up the pig skin and ran in for the winning TD. Heartbreak! As we used to do, we walked out on the field and listened to Coach Moore address the team. I don't really remember any of what Coach Moore said that night but I do remember this...when we were driving home Bobby said to me.."dad, I love football." I believe he still loves football. But this is different now. I think he doesn't want to love it anymore. There was a time he wanted to play HS and college football. But after two specific hits in the helmet, that has changed. I can't get into his psyche and figure out what he really feels about the game. Many of his buddies still play. This was supposed to be his time. He was going to have the opportunity to play under the Friday Night Lights. As of right now, for this year, that's not possible. Football isn't our thing anymore. We are still big fans but the blood, sweat and tears will be in other houses. The good news is we have become a lacrosse family. Bobby plays goalie and he approaches it with the same passion he once had for football. He is aware of his potential for more concussions but he still plays all out just like he did as a bantam lineman. As far as football goes, who knows, maybe he will want to play again some day. But he's not on the field now and it's just tough this year.

[sidelinesbysam]

How can he possibly win?

And I don't mean the game. Looking at the Tim Tebow drama unfold, I wonder how this guy can ever win the battle of public perception. I have followed the story most of the season. I like the guy. He has a winners spirit and the drive to be successful. In all the things I have read, watched and heard, there just hasn't been a lot of people...even TT supporters...that have said he is playing great. Most everyone has acknowledged he is average at best when he is playing well but really can stink it up when he is playing poorly. But he brings a guttyness to the field that is impressive. But no matter what, I just don't see him coming out on top today no matter what the score. The steelers are better. A lot better! And remember, before TT ever took a snap this year, they just were not that good. That is why he got his chance. Suddenly when they started to win, the nay sayers pointed out how fantastic the broncos defense was. That would be the four loss broncos defense. The broncos played well and won some games. Now they lost their last 3 and backed into the playoffs. TT has looked pretty bad. Now we come to today. If TT plays as he has these past 3 weeks, he will likely not be next years broncos starter. He would probably agree with that choice. And the anti Tebow crowd will have a happy Monday and move on. If TT plays fair and somehow Denver wins, the faithful will rejoice and the anti TT crowd will tear apart his performance. If he has a really good game, win or loose, it will some how be credited to the offensive line, the Steelers being unprepared, poor coaching, prevailing winds, the alignment of planets or global warming. I don't see TT coming out ahead no matter what happens. But that is in the public sector. For those that understand the dude and what really makes him tick, they know that he will always come out a winner. Tebow hates to loose. He has never been a looser. He has won on every level of competition. But the NFL is different than Pop Warner, high school or even the National Championship of division 1 college football. But Tim Tebow is winner...he will always be a winner. If after today he never takes another NFL snap, he will still be a winner. Because winning to Tim off the field is serving people and serving the Lord. He loves to work the mission field and he loves to help others in need. When he grows old and football is a distant fond memory, Tim Tebow will still be a winner. Winning at life by serving God and others and winning the hearts of the people he serves. How can he ever win...he already has!

[sidelinesbysam]

Why does He do that?

As our family prepares to lay to rest our beloved pal Treasure, I have noticed this past week or so that I have spent a lot of time wondering why God does the things He does. Having been a baptized believer since 1998 and raised by parents of strong Catholic faith, its not as if I don't have a grasp on Gods omnipotent power. I have just been pondering the things of life that seem inexplicable. It all started with the words I shouted out in my car one evening..."Why the dog God...why the dog?" Now I am not for one second trying to equate the loss of our beloved pet to the other tragedies that a world full of people face every minute of every day. That being said, it is our dog and I was truly heartbroken and confused. Normal feelings that can be related to by any person who has ever had a pet they have lost. But then the picture began to increase in size and I found myself not challenging God but just questioning the things I don't understand. Why Lord did the wonderful teenage boy with the brightest of futures have to get a dreaded disease and loose his life? Why was that innocent baby born with a whole in her heart? Or glaze over the daily news and hear of a father of 3 being killed in a careless auto accident or a family being taken by a house fire at Christmas time. Why was that soldier taken just weeks before he was being sent home?  Why is one of the most powerful preachers who lives to serve you with his voice battling throat cancer? Why Lord...why? Honestly, I was struggling. I hope I haven't lost you because this is where the light came on for me. I felt at this point that God revealed to me that people are all too quick to point out these things and give Him blame and not so conscious to give Him credit when we are on the other side of that hill. What about those cured of disease...I have a mother and mother-in-law who have both survived cancer. I myself have swerved out of the way of a kid aimlessly heading into the street and certain disaster for us both. What about the salesperson that was on the edge of financial disaster and was blessed with a windfall or the parents that just couldn't seem to get pregnant and then found out mommy was expecting? How about a struggling addict that met just the right person at the right time and began their road to recovery? What about the wandering soul that met Christ just when they needed Him the most and started a relationship with a savior? When we hear those things we rarely wonder...Why God, Why? Somewhere around the turn of the century (I've always wanted to say that) as a very young believer, I heard a fantastic up and coming preacher named Drew Sherman say these words..."Our God is in heaven...He does whatever pleases Him" (Psalm 115:3) I remember being blown away by that verse. I still am today. I wrote them in the back of my Bible because I wanted to always remember those words. Now do I believe that it pleases God when His children get diseases or families loose their lives...or the dog doesn't make it? It does not please God as we may consider it pleasure. I more so believe that it shows to all that He is capable of doing anything for His purpose whether or not we understand the reason why. The lack of faith would make it simple to criticize God or to try and point to disasters as the absence of God. It is their neener neener moment when non-believers say how can you love a God that would allow a tragedy to happen? From my perspective, how could you not love a God that has blessed me time and time again and allowed me to do the best I can to serve Him? When my time is up and I finally get called home, I really do hope God allows me the answers to some questions I have. For me it will be, "God, what was Paul's infirmity? What about that whole dinosaur thing? Why do bad things happen to good people?" I hope then I will get the true understanding of "Our God is in heaven. He does whatever pleases Him."

[sidelinesbysam]

A church I call home

It is great to belong to such an incredible church that my family and I call home. Mount Pleasant Christian Church is more than just a building to visit on the weekend...it's a place where God is fully evident every day and He is working in the lives of everyone that chooses to believe and follow. But to the point here, this weekend was really something special. MPCC has been well know for its special events over the years. The church has always been blessed with incredible musicians and vocalist and their talents have always been put front and center during the holiday seasons. I surely don't know the heart of everyone that performs, but I can say with confidence that the focus is to honor God and serve Him while blessing others. This weekend, the worship and arts department did that in a way that is indescribable. Brian Tabor, Joey Santos and the entire group put on a God honoring show that was really something special. The little ones opened with 4 great songs and then gave way to the big hitters. I don't intend to skip over anyone because every single song was fabulous. But Kim Tabor once again nailed a performance that most front line entertainers would be jealous of. And then there is Dr John...ohhh Dr John Walker. A man that is so full of rockin soul that I believe the Lord Himself claps His hands and sings along when John is on stage. When those two sing I think God looks down and says, "Yeah...that's My work!" But most of all, I want to thank Brian and his entire staff and gang for pouring out blessing in a huge way. Some nearly 5000 people got to see Gods power on display through song and music. A heartfelt thanks to you all (Tricia, Phil, David, Heidi and all) and a special prayer for healing and blessing on Pastor Chris Philbeck. My life would not be the same without MPCC and I am sure my family would look much different if not for the continued blessing we get from our church home.

[sidelinesbysam]

Revisiting our past

This past weekend I got to spend a whole bunch of time with a whole bunch of people I haven't had the pleasure of seeing in years. In my home town of Chicago we had the Federici family reunion. About 80 people...most of which with Italian heritage...came together to celebrate life and family and history and of course food! It all started Friday night when about 25 of us met at Q's in Hillside for some great Italian eats and a lot of hugs and kisses. Being the 2nd youngest of about a million cousins I got a lot of "oh Sammy....I remember when you..." and "YOU gotta grandson?!" My cousin Billy and his wife Judy came in from California and another batch came from Arizona. Others from Tennessee, Nebraska, Michigan and of course Indiana. One of my favorite amusements is our names...or what we get called by family. Now remember, I am the 2nd youngest of the over 50 generation. We go by Sammy, Timmy, Johnny, Charlie, Danny, Cindy and of course Ricky. Now here is the beautiful thing about my cousin Ricky...his wonderful wife Audry never really took to us calling this grown man Ricky. So whenever we would call Ricky, Audry would say...oh you mean Rich. No! I meant Ricky. Of course we all love her and she has endured our crazy Italian ways for over 30 years I believe, but to us he is Ricky. We also have a LuLu, Phil, Barb, Peter, Patrick, Francine, Annette, Joe and of course Robert. (please forgive me...I know I missed someone) Back to Robert for a moment...how would this half Italian, Guido looking guy always go by Robert and not Robby or Bobby? I dunno! Seems crazy to me...always has. But that's just how it was. There was one person who always did call him Bobby and that was our neighbor on Chicago Avenue who's name was Puffy. Puffy has five sons...Jimmy, Nicky (RIP), Vincey, Joey and Johnny! That might explain the Bobby tag. But on to the show.

After the Friday night carb fest of pasta, pizza and bread...never mind the beer...we moved on to Saturday...reunion day. Saturday started out with me, Timmy (my bro) and Bobby...I mean Robert hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range. Then on to the golf course where I definitely got my monies worth and a hearty Thank You from the head greens keeper as I left with a sad path of destruction behind me. When we completed the 18 holes, we headed to an Italian heritage center to meet up with people we haven't seen in years or have never met before. It was wonderful to laugh and cry, reminisce, tell stories and just take in the scene. Robert shared great thoughts and history, my wonderful brother added some fun and my cousin Barb opened us all to a world we never knew. Se had been doing some family tree research for quite some time and she was able to share facts and details about our grandparents that no one ever really knew. Words cannot describe the appreciation for Barb and the effort she put in to open up us all to a window to the past. Thank you Barb!

And of course the food. There was mostaccioli, Italian beef, sausage (sa-seege), eggplant a parmigana, salad, wine, cookies, desserts...and family. We all wish in a way that the party would never end. And to see my Aunt Mary who has crossed 90 and my Mom at almost 87 take in the sights and sounds of family...I can't help but tear up right now. To see God's blessing on us all as we enjoyed family and food and freedom. My brother Tim and my cousin Robert put a lot into this weekend. We will all be forever grateful. There was lots of talk of doing it again and an underlying uncertainty of who will make the next trip and who won't. But that is what happens from year to year as time goes on. In our celebration we took the time to remember those that have passed before us. The grandmas and grandpas, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives...loved ones...cherished ones...the foundation of the lives of those of us still here.

And I am confident to say that we are forever grateful to those that set the wheels in motion for us all to be where we are today. I ask that we never forget those that have gone and I ask that we truly remember those that are here today. None of us know what the next moment will hold so let's take the time to let our loved ones know that they matter to us...that they are loved. And when any person comes to mind, I believe it is God's way of telling us to make the call, send the note, take the time or maybe just say a prayer. God bless my families of heritage and God please bless my family of choosing. And I pray that La Familia de Federici can come together again and enjoy our heritage and what we have all been blessed with.

[sidelinesbysam]

Feel free to say thanks

After over half my lifetime in the customer service business, I feel qualified to comment on the new age of the service industry. Sometimes I am forced to ask myself...What the heck is that person thinking? For those of you over the age of...let's say...35, you most likely remember the day when customer service was king. Whether it was the neighborhood store, the gas station, Sears, the local pizza place or the shop around the corner, service was always a priority. Customers were treated with respect and were appreciated for every dollar they spent. Now a days (did I just say now a days?) good service is an afterthought and an exception not the rule. The current age of service clerks seems to believe that whatever they got going on at the moment takes priority of serving those that are there to spend a hard earned buck. Just a few suggestions off the top of my head for those of you that may be just starting out or thinking about working daily with the general shopping public.... 1. Your cell phone IS NOT a tool to be used while you are serving customers. No one really wants to hear about your next or last date, how stupid your co workers are or your latest success with a significant other. 2. No texting while you are waiting on customers. 3. Never stop in the middle of a transaction to bicker with a co working about who's turn it is to take out the trash or to take a smoke break. 4. If you do not know my name, do not refer to me as baby, honey, sweetie, sugar, darlin' or any other of the rude and offensive terms of endearment that should be reserved for your family and grandchildren. 5. Please wash your hands on occasion. 6. No texting ever...(I know...but that's a big one these days) 7. On occasion, please feel free to say thank you. There are so many more thoughts and by the way, I don't want to hear about how rude customers can be. I started working jobs with customers in 1973. Do the math...I've been around! I just want to say this...it can be hard...really hard. People can be jerks but know what you are getting in to. Try to be the exception...try to be that extra special person. And to those of you on the paying side of the counter...quit being a grumpy butt. That person is just there to say hi, serve you and take your money. Don't treat them rudely because work six or someone was driving too slow in the left lane. And by the way, just because you eat out a lot, that doesn't make you an expert in how a restaurant runs. I guess what it comes down to is everyone trying to be a little more attentive to how we treat each other and maybe we will begin to be treated better. I'm just sayin'!

[sidelinesbysam]

The Smell of Football in the Air

Here we are…the second week of July and the smell of football is in the air. Last week we were at a local sporting goods store searching for the right pair of football cleats for a giant lineman. When he tried on 10 and a halfs and they were snug it really became clear that my kids are growing up. Each year at this time we go through the rituals of “what size shirt…what size shoes…what size pants. New mouth guard, new water bottle and new chin strap.” ahhhh…the smell of football. The problem around our house is that we love football. My wife and I have watched most every practice, game, scrimmage and tournament that our boys have played in for about 7 years I believe. For our guys alone I think we have watched over 160 games and well over 500 practices. We have seen wins and losses, joy and tears, happiness and sorrow and even some real hurting pain. But all along, we have loved the smell of football in the air. And here we are again, the beginning of July and it’s here again. Our son Timmy has moved on to his real love…basketball (and girls), but Bobby is still banging helmets and hitting the “skill” players as hard as he can. Already slowed by a twisted ankle, I am sure he will get healed fast and play through the pain. That's what linemen do. As everyone knows, linemen lead the way. But I must say, Timmy has taken some really tough licks over the years and has carried on too.

But Before we know it, the Friday night lights will be bright and the smell of football will be as strong as ever. And I am pretty sure that Danielson, even though he is only 3, will be our next family member to be touched by the smell. We love those boys of fall and we love the smell of football in the air!

[sidelinesbysam]

I'll be there between noon and five

We encountered the new lunacy of the cable service appointments this week. Over the years it was always the vague appointment times of eight to noon or noon to five. And you would sit and wait, wait and sometimes wait a bit longer. Then the cell phone jumped into play and they decided they would call fifteen minutes before they headed your way. And that seemed to work pretty good for everyone. There was a time or two that I went about my business on appointment day and then when I got the call I hurried home and met the guy. All was well. But now we have moved into the new system...and it's a goodie! When we made the appointment they asked what was the best number to call...the one on the account or diffent number. We gave them the different number that was for the person waiting at the house. And we waited, waited and waited. When Kim had her lunch break she noticed missed calls from the cable giant. She called and found out that they would have to reschedule because we missed their calls. When she reminded them that they were calling the wrong number they asked her if she wanted to change the main number on the account. WHAT? No...the main number is fine...we wanted you to call the number YOU asked for. So they said they would be out by seven. Guess what happened...you're right. They didn't make it. So when we tried to find out the issue they said they would be out in 5-6 days...5-6 days because they called they wrong number. So after an animated exchange we got the appointment scheduled for Saturday...just 2 days later. They made it out, fixed the problem and all is right with the world because the Internet is working again.Imagine the humanity...no Internet for a few days. Internet, cell phones, text, Skype, and the technology goes n and on. Seeing I am an Internet sales person at a car dealership I can't be too critical of the processes but sometimes I long for the day of the anticipation of waiting for someone to show up between noon and five.