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silantryoo · 3 days

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as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

#—silan replies;#j a little rant :)

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silantryoo · 28 days

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BONUS [ LIKEALOOK ] — goodbye, my danish sweetheart.

yoo jimin, third year

WARNINGS; objectification, outing, mentions of homophobia, mentions of sexual acts, self-sabotage, cheating, mentions of coercion, power imbalance, victim blaming (2.5k)

yoo jimin hasn't looked in a mirror since alex had left the team.

her best friend, the girl that she trusted, slept with the girl she loved. she didn't care whether or not alex was drunk, whether it was before anything went down between her and yeji.

she knew how jimin felt, how yeji was there for her during her injury, how much their captain helped her. jimin had even told alex how her stomach fluttered whenever she and their captain talked, and how her heart seemed to combust at the thought of yeji visiting her at the hospital.

alex should've known.

"she left the team."

a string of words, one of which should've given her a sense of relief. she longed for the euphoria, and the heavy weight from her chest lifted. jimin thought she would finally breathe the clean air she had desperately wished for.

it was poison, fire and acid mixed and poured down her throat. her lungs burnt, scarred as she struggled to breathe.

it was not only the air, but everything she touched. every surface - steel, metal, skin - seemed to bubble under her corrosive touch. all of the things she touched enveloped in the concoction that plagued her being.

guilt.

jimin had never felt as angry as she ever did. the lava that laid dormant inside her body could no longer sit still. everything had led up to the destruction of her and those around her.

alexandra baek was yoo jimin's best friend.

she knew her secrets, the lengths the younger girl would go to just to hide them. the things the younger volleyball player kept behind a locked door, she willingly let jimin have access to. it was eerily similar, the terror of disappointment shrouded alex the same way it did jimin.

jimin knew her weaknesses, all of them, even the ones that would ruin the younger girl's life.

"why is alex avoiding you?" aeri scrolled through her phone, and jimin could see her reading their texts over. "did you threaten her or something?"

threaten? no, jimin did much worse.

"i didn't."

aeri huffed, clearly not pleased with her answer. she thought this stupid feud would blow over. jimin cherished the younger girl, much like a sister.

she wouldn't throw that away for anyone, much less yeji.

"look, i know the whole thing with yeji is shit right now," aeri started, mentally noting the understatement. "and you're probably pissed at her for leaving the team, but she needs you right now."

jimin closed her eyes, picturing the creature she found staring back at her a few weeks ago. the one with soulless eyes, void of guilt, of compassion. dark brown eyes that only burned rage.

it was her father's eyes in her own.

"jimin..."

she didn't know why she felt like that, why it felt so good to finally erupt, to cause harm and hurt others the way they hurt her.

she was still a good person. jimin knew she had to be. this was just a momentary slip. it was just an accidental mishap.

"jimin." aeri sighed. "her parents found out."

guilt.

she knew.

she was the one who told the baek's about their daughter's fling. jimin had heard the slurs that were thrown over the phone, damning their own child for the things she felt.

she knew, she did it.

shin yuna was getting prettier each day.

she couldn't help but notice how the younger girl seemed to shine on court as of late. she liked the way yuna walk around like she owned the place, even though she clearly didn't. the way she silently smirked to herself whenever she got a kill lured jimin in.

it was like watching herself, without having to look at what she was becoming.

yeji glanced at her ace, grinning at the predatory look in her eye. it was refreshing to see jimin like this, void of morals and thinking only about what would please her.

it was only a matter of time.

"nice view?"

jimin recoiled, eyes harsh on her captain, watching her smirk. she hated how yeji seemed to think that the two of them were similar. of course, she found shin yuna attractive. it was shin yuna.

sue her for staring at yuna's legs.

jimin grumbled under her breath, walking away from yeji and sitting on the bench, near the others.

"bitch."

she couldn't believe that she dated that monster.

"that's odd." yuna stretched, and jimin felt a gnawing pit in her stomach. "yeji-sunbae's usually nice."

the girls in the vicinity glanced at her.

the yeji they knew was angry, hot-headed and rude. she'd rather rip your head off then say thank you for holding the door open. more often than not, yeji actually did yell at you for holding the door open.

"that's only because she wants to sleep with you, yuna." haewon shook her head, drinking from her bottle.

"you think so?" the freshman sat up, smiling coyly. "i mean, i am pretty hot."

jimin's eyes shot to yuna's smile, and she found herself clenching her jaw, biting back a hum of agreement.

what was she doing? she already had y/n. jimin didn't need more. maybe she craved more, but she would never ever cheat.

jimin calmed herself. finding one of her teammates attractive wasn't cheating. she didn't have any romantic feelings for the younger girl, anyway. it was just curiosity.

if jimin happened to imagine yuna in her bed from time to time, so what?

"that's not something to be proud of." chaeryeong muttered. she couldn't believe this was her crush's younger cousin. "that's like being happy a serial killer chose to kill you because you'd look pretty dying."

yuna shrugged. "and?"

"god." haewon could only sigh. out of everyone she's ever met, yuna seemed to be the most insane sane person. "i hope they don't make you captain next year."

jimin frowned, drowning them out as she took her shoes off.

she needed to stop letting yeji get to her. for as long as she's known her, yeji always pushed jimin's buttons. it was endearing at first, yeji claiming that she liked when jimin's eyebrows furrowed, how cute she looked when she frowned.

jimin didn't realize until now that yeji just liked pissing her off. she liked mentally tormenting her for some sick reason. the way the captain shoved her flaws in her face was to anger her, because it was funny.

it wasn't, and it never has been.

she didn't want to focus on yeji, not anymore. not when jimin had finally gotten the perfect girl, the girl that everyone had wanted.

l/n y/n.

she was adorable, caring in a way that jimin had never experienced. she'd constantly check on the older girl, asking about the little things that jimin didn't even think of.

the other day, y/n had even asked her if she ate. when jimin said no, she suggested that the two of them should go out together for food.

she had never experienced that type of care, considering yeji was her first and only relationship before y/n.

jimin glanced at wonyoung, sparing her a glare in which the younger girl returned by the tenfold.

jang wonyoung lucked out. it was a good thing jimin had managed to take what's rightfully hers.

"jimin-sunbae?" yuna asked, pulling jimin's gaze away from the heiress. "you took history of classical dance right?"

jimin nodded. "for my elective, yeah."

"do you have the notes?" yuna's voice sounded sweet, like a peach waiting to be eaten. "i have it this year and gaeul-sunbae refuses to give them to me."

"it's better to learn and write the notes yourself." gaeul muttered, putting on sweats over her shorts. "i told you, if you need help understanding the material after, i can help you study-"

"no." yujin tensed, her voice tight. her once expressive eyes turned firey as she looked at yuna. "i don't want yuna in our dorm. she might steal."

jimin rolled her eyes. yujin had been guarding gaeul like a dog since yeji managed to get her hands on the setter.

(she didn't understand how yeji could go from her to gaeul, considering the two were only similar in vulnerability.)

"i will not!" yuna whined, jimin's ears burning red. "maybe gaeul-sunbae's heart but-"

yujin paused, her body tense as she stood up from the bench. her fists were clenched, and her body language seemed to read pure rage, but jimin could see the way her lip quivered.

"excuse me?"

pain.

jimin had been feeling that recently, too.

"unnie," wonyoung muttered, tugging yujin's hand. jimin could see gaeul purse her lips, and it didn't take a genius to understand why. "sit down before gaeul-unnie scolds you."

yujin grumbled, begrudgingly sitting back down in between gaeul and wonyoung. the oldest of the three seemed down all of a sudden, and jimin wondered how gaeul could stand to be near wonyoung when all she did was take yujin's attention.

jimin hoped that one day, gaeul would wake up and face the horror that was jang wonyoung.

"i can give it to you tomorrow."

"i'll just drop by later." jimin froze. "my first exam's next week."

she didn't know why, but the thought of having yuna in her dorm set her skin on fire. jimin felt like she was suddenly lit by a match, her brain running wild.

she shook her head. jimin didn't need anything else but y/n. the volleyball player felt so emotionally fulfilled by the younger girl, even when their kisses felt empty and when y/n's words felt half-hearted.

"why'd you wait so long?" haewon knew that yuna was gonna bomb the test. "you're gonna fail at this rate."

still, it wouldn't hurt to urge aeri out, to make sure she spends the night with whoever the hell she meets at the club.

"yujin said that i have plenty of time to study."

besides, jimin didn't like yuna. nothing was going to happen.

she wasn't yeji, nor was she her father.

"yujin probably as a 0.1 gpa."

she wasn't a monster.

"i do not!"

even if her mirror told her otherwise.

the most painful thing about the divorce was watching her father leave.

he had gotten her a maroon luggage when she had accepted suma's offer. it was embezzled with a gold zipper, and a metal handle that gleamed against bright light. she took it with her on her first year, putting all her belongings snug inside. she used it to go back home, when her acl ripped in half and she could no longer play.

jimin had also watched it get taken away when her father packed in a rush, her mother crying on their bed begging him to stay, to love them instead of his mistress.

jimin knew if he did, she would have forgiven him.

staying was more important in the end.

a soft knock on the door rattled throughout jimin's empty dorm. she sat up, dressed in semi-decent clothes, breathable and easy to take off.

jimin reached for the door, opening it.

"sunbae."

nothing was gonna happen. she wasn't gonna cheat, especially not with yuna. jimin would never abuse her status, nor disregard her relationship like that.

but something burnt within her, something that resembled her father on a tuesday afternoon.

"yuna, hey." jimin could hear her voice echoing back in her ears, and she wasn't so sure why it sounded so... ravenous. "i left the notes on my desk. you can just grab them."

yuna nodded, her eyes trailing jimin's figure as she stepped inside. the room buzzed with a dull hum as jimin closed the door behind her, yuna walking up to her senior's desk.

jimin walked next to the younger girl, capturing her perfect side profile and ingraining it in her brain.

"how tall are you?"

there was a light in her eyes, something that jimin used to see in hers. it gleamed brightly, reflecting all yuna's wants of perfection, of hope - all of which jimin knew would amount to nothing.

she wanted to be the first one to crush it, to ruin it.

"i'm 169cm." yuna grinned, standing up a little straighter to brag. "my mom said i'm still growing though, so i'm hoping to reach 170cm next sem."

she didn't care about the consequences, not right now. jimin just wanted to break the mirror.

"your mom said that?" it was adorable how yuna seemed so pure with every intention, and jimin couldn't help but wonder if there was something more sinister underneath. "you're cute."

jimin grabbed the binder of notes, her fingertips brushing against the younger girl's as she handed it over.

yuna's eyes glazed over as she froze, and jimin couldn't hear anything but her heartbeat.

just like before, on the phone with the baek's, all she felt was power - an adrenaline rush that overrode her senses. she couldn't feel the pain, nor the guilt.

all she felt was a high like she was midjump, where her eyes were above the net, looking down at everyone who looked down on her.

jimin leaned it, her lips gently on yuna's.

yuna pulled back abruptly, a tug of confusion worming through the lust she felt. "i thought you were with someone."

jimin should've felt guilty. she should've snapped out of it and apologized, ushering yuna out and immediately sending an apology to y/n about what transpired.

"does that bug you?" she whispered, feeling her breath bounce back off of yuna's lips.

she couldn't find it in herself to care anymore, not when it felt this good.

"...no."

jimin deserved to feel good once in a while.

their limbs tangled as yuna lay naked, asleep on top of jimin.

the volleyball player stared at the ceiling, her mind whirling with the guilt that seemed to multiply with each breath her junior took.

jimin closed her eyes, tears falling from the sides of her face.

it felt good to have control, to watch someone wither and plead, begging her to instill whatever she wanted onto them. she liked the way yuna was under her, both metaphorically and physically. it gave her a high that no one, not even y/n could provide.

it was like ruining herself, punishing herself for everything wrong with her life.

still, the guilt managed to burrow its way through.

she wondered if y/n would react the same way as her mother, or if she would go run back to wonyoung, tears in her eyes as she cried and cried.

she couldn't let that happen,

besides, it wasn't actually cheating. jimin never once let yuna touch her. she would never let anyone but the girl she was with strip her power away from her.

even if she did, jimin would never think once about leaving y/n.

y/n was everything she wanted, in soul, body, and mind. she'd be stupid to ruin the trophy that she had worked so hard to win.

jimin wasn't her father. she wasn't going to leave. she was a good person, searching for good things in her life.

she shouldn't feel guilty. she had nothing to feel sorry for. jimin did nothing wrong. she couldn't have, otherwise, she was no better than her deadbeat father.

she wasn't her father. she couldn't be, she wouldn't let herself be.

jimin closed her eyes, drowning out the sound of yuna's breathing.

rage had consumed yoo jimin, and there was no turning back.

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