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someone: yeah i had a crush on them and turns out they liked me too so now we’re dating

me: ……okay……that sounds fake but okay….

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Hamlet discourse:

“Get thee to a nunnery” is the first “begone thot”

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I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes

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*releases 420 cows into a field* hahahaha graze it

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this is now a complete adult lunchable

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These the kind of tweets you frame

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evidence that I actually live in a video game

I always wear the same clothing

idle animation

awkward dialog

sometimes I get stuck on doors and have to back up and try again

yesterday I tried to stand up and my entire body stopped working and I ended up in a T-pose on the floor