simpleffective-john

[simpleffective-john]

Is anxiety always harmful?

Let's sort out what anxiety means.

Anxiety is a negative emotion in which a person feels discomfort from an uncertain perspective. This mechanism is laid down in the process of evolution to help us adapt, to prepare for different situations.

If the occurrence of anxiety is influenced by external factors it is useful, justified. It increases under conditions of high subjective value of choice, external threats, lack of information or time.

Harmful anxiety arises from internal causes - psychological and physiological factors. Harmful anxiety is not connected with real threats or disproportionate to them. Such anxiety is harmful in that it prevents clear thinking, interferes with decision-making.

If we cannot affect something that worries us, it means that such anxiety is harmful and we must fight it. And if we can somehow influence the outcome of events, but are anxious about the result, that's perfectly normal.

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[simpleffective-john]

Derealization - what is it

Signs:

- Feeling alienated or unaware of your surroundings - for example, as if you were living in a movie or in a dream; - Emotional detachment from the people closest to you, as if you are separated by a wall of glass; - The environment seems distorted, blurry, colorless, two-dimensional or artificial; - A distortion in the perception of time, e.g., recent events are perceived as the distant past; - Distortion of distance, size and shape of objects.

Derealization can be an independent neurotic disorder as well as a symptom of other mental disorders and conditions (anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, ETS depression). At least 50% of people have experienced derealization at least once.

Derealization is not dangerous at all, there's no need to be afraid of it. You should try to concentrate on other thoughts, to shift your attention to something else. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques are great for dealing with derealization, and I'll be sure to talk about that on my Telegram channel - Simpleffective Psy.

[simpleffective-john]

Mistakes in Thinking

Every thought in our head is just an idea, which is not necessarily true and does not necessarily reflect reality.

Moreover, there is a whole set of errors that we make in our thinking as we process incoming information from the outside. To question the validity and truthfulness of thoughts, one must learn to detect and isolate automatic negative thoughts. 

This is a skill every person would benefit from learning. It is in our power to deal with it and learn to separate thinking errors from normal thought processes.

Read my Telegram channel - Simpleffective Psy, soon I will be sure to tell you about the most common errors in our thinking and teach you how to deal with them.

[simpleffective-john]

Is it good or bad to love yourself?

I am very wary of the common imperative: "Love yourself!"

Yes, not loving yourself is definitely a bad thing. And yes, if you love yourself properly, then you can: without much fanaticism, but rather responsibly, taking care - about your health, about your state of mind, about your social environment. This, I suppose, is good and right.

But to feel immense love for myself, for my person, for my "self" is, in my opinion, firstly, ridiculous and stupid, and secondly, simply impractical. Yes, tactically, caring only for yourself, you might win. But strategically, you won't even find it! Selfish destroyers always end badly in the end.

Value yourself for what you do, take care of yourself to be fit and in good spirits, don't let others hurt you, stand up for your dignity. But otherwise, by pursuing only your own interests, you will lose.

Our lives are the people around us. And so if we are loved, we feel happy. But true love is not born for nothing, it is always given to us for kindness, for loyalty and openness.

If someone loves himself so much that he is incapable of it, well, he has to blame himself.

So is it good or bad to love yourself?

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[simpleffective-john]

Why are we afraid of making mistakes?

Why are we afraid to make mistakes, and why do the mistakes we've already made keep us from moving forward? When we experience failure, we feel bad and frustrated. Often we can be so depressed that we won't even try again. In that case, it turns out that mistakes not only don't teach us, but also discourage us from continuing.

The fact is that the brain acts rather primitively - it tries to fend us off from negative experiences. For example, before some new endeavor, you thought it over and had some doubts.  In spite of this, you proceeded to implement the idea, but it did not work out. The brain got the signal that the doubts were not in vain. After that, it gives signals that it is better not to act in that direction. This is how the fear of making mistakes arises. At the same time, the brain doesn't discern failure. It doesn't care if you were rejected when you tried to meet someone, or if you broke your elbow while learning to ride a bike. The brain will trigger the same fear-inducing defense mechanisms.

It is important to understand that fear is only a physiological mechanism that brings nothing but unpleasant feelings. Fear can and should be overcome.

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[simpleffective-john]

How to overcome guilt

And so, guilt is a negatively colored emotion that signals that we (our words, actions, ourselves) have made someone feel bad.

Realizing that we are making someone suffer is difficult. It is paralyzing and destructive. We all (most of us) want to be good, kind, beautiful, caring, helpful. That's how our psyche works, we shouldn't hurt our fellow human beings, for we can't survive without them.

We know that guilt does not equal guilt, but that feeling is hard to bear. Let's break down how to deal with it.

1. First, accept as a fact: people make mistakes. And so do you. This is normal. A mistake is not a disaster, it's a point of growth.

2. Be specific about what exactly you are blaming yourself for.

3. Break down where you are really responsible and where someone else's is. What directly depended on you and what depended on others. What is not yours, don't take it upon yourself.

4. Remind yourself: I am not responsible for the actions, words and deeds of others. Other people are separate from you. You are separate from other people.

5. Accept your share of responsibility. If you can/want to do something, do it. If not, accept it and move on.

6. Apologize to the injured party, if you are at fault. Asking for forgiveness is like admitting: yes, I'm not perfect, but that's how I am. We don't have to suffer for it anymore.

7. Analyze what to do, so the situation doesn't happen again. Draw conclusions and move on.

8. To say to yourself - I forgive myself.

[simpleffective-john]

Calming Visualization Technique

Visualization is considered one of the most powerful tools for working with the mind. According to research, the subconscious mind does not distinguish between real events and the events imagined by us. Therefore, visualized images can have a powerful effect on the conscious mind as well. Follow the scheme:

1. Take a comfortable position, close your eyes; 2. Take a few deep breaths and exhales; 3. Imagine that you are in a quiet, peaceful and pleasant place where you can easily relax (for example, on a mountain top, in a forest, on a beach); 4. Keep the imagined image and concentrate on the feeling of relaxation, try to intensify it and sink even deeper into it; 5. Detail the image, imagining it in every detail (sound of waves or birdsong, coolness or warm sunlight, etc.); 6. When you feel that you cannot go deeper into the state, begin to return to reality; 7. Open your eyes and breathe slowly for a few minutes.

It won't be easy at first, but it will get better each time.

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[simpleffective-john]

5 signs that would indicate that you have problems with anxiety

Frequently, people do not realize that they have increased anxiety. At the same time, it is a condition that requires work on yourself. 1.Sleep problems. For example, you have difficulty falling asleep, various thoughts prevent you from falling asleep, or you wake up before the alarm and feel anxious. 2.A number of physical symptoms that are caused by anxiety, but the person does not realize it. Pressure surges, extrasistoles, palpitations, urge to pee, tingling in the body, a sense of unreality of what is happening ETS. 3.Daily occurring fears. For example, several times a day there are fears, strong anxiety. 4.Panic attacks. Even a single episode indicates increased anxiety, which should be worked with. 5.Increased emotionality. For example, you became more aggressive, quick-tempered, irritable, or reacted more strongly to events which previously did not cause you a strong reaction. If you have at least 1 sign of the above — start to combat anxiety, it will not disappear by itself, and will continue to poison your life.

More information on my Telegram channel — Simpleffective Psy