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Sometimes you gotta pick a cat up just to set them back down somewhere nearby. Remind them who calls the shots in your house. Oh you thought you were lying on the floor? Dead wrong fool you're standing on the couch cushion now staring up at me waiting for an explanation. You'll never get it. I'm gone. I'm walking away. I'm already in the next room before you can so much as mutter a confused "meow." later son. you're reexamining your place in the universe all by yourself. Consider my power in a empty living room

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cat allergy doesn't exist people just sneeze for attention and because they're misogynists

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Spongebob, stop playin' with me pussy lips or yer fired! Agagagagagagaga

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glasses: ON

cloak and boots: DONNED

earrings: GAY

spells: WHIMSICAL

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👠👠👠

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Do you think cavemen ever got humiliated and had the kms urge? Like "Grug so embarrassed, Grug jump into tar pit" and then Glarg is like "Noooo everyone forget soon" and Grug is like "Grug going to do it for real"

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"you should be at the club" I can't go to the club I'll be in there saying shit like "perchance" and "thrice"

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after watching the shrek movie i politely bowed to the screen and left without a fuss.

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I, THE DRIVER BEHIND YOU AT THIS STOPLIGHT, HAVE DEDUCED THAT YOU COULD HAVE THREADED THAT LEFT TURN BETWEEN THOSE TWO CARS IF YOU FLOORED IT BEARING 92° SOUTH AND CAUGHT THE WIND.

HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK

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call my pussy a truffle the way your hog is hunting it down through the bush

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im the prettiest canary in this mine

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