sirsparklepants

[sirsparklepants]

Voyager was SO real for how many times they had crew women filthy as hell drenched in sweat wearing tanks fighting tooth and claw for survival

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this is all i know about them

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everyday I pray Zillow makes a comment section

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Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

#i would never say i hate gossip but otherwise accurate i am a gossipy bitch

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IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it

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People talk about the surprise albums from people like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé that drop with zero warning but I have just been existing in this world where every album I've ever heard in my life has been a surprise album because I didn't know that musicians had schedules that we could see

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Imagine being a patient of Hannibal’s but you just received actual therapy and then took his advice and you’re thriving, but then it comes out that almost all his patients killed at least one person I’d start wondering what was so wrong with me that he didn’t try to harness the dark urges within me, why wasn’t I worth shaping into a furry killer or some unsettling little freak with psychosexual tendencies? I’d need extensive therapy after.

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reblog to give the person you reblogged from the strength to complete The Task™

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Mild Concern! At the Disco

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#EGGS BENEDICT y'all don't know my suffering not being able to get it at a restaurant any more #also biscuits and gravy but that I always made at home I'm so fucking picky

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Okay, so we all know that iconic scene in Two Towers where Gimli and Legolas compare their kill counts from the battle (THAT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE). But in my not so humble opinion, the book to movie transfer just did not capture some of their best moments in this saga and I am here to rectify this tragedy. 

So naturally, Gimli’s the one who starts it:

Legolas responds dramatically and patronizing, as usual “Two? Sure, not bad. I mean, I’ve got 20, but who’s counting, right?” Oh Legolas

Gimli comes back later with exactly one kill count over Legolas’ previous score and you cannot convince me that that was not out of sheer pettiness. Meanwhile, Legolas has been racking up points fruit ninja style but…he’s only killed like 4 more? Two dozen is 24 right? And he had at least 20 earlier? I really want him to just have thought that there was no way Gimli could’ve caught up to him, then he saw that Gimli was definitely catching up and oh shit better kills some more to stay in the lead and he barely scraps by 21-24, but of course acts a though that was the plan all along. 

After this there’s a break, until Legolas comes looking for Aragorn because he can’t find Gimli to brag about his new high score (39). I love that Aragorn thinks Legolas is looking for Gimli because he’s worried about him and tries to reassure him that Gimli is a strong dwarf and probably find wherever he is, and Legolas is just, woah, what, no, I just wanted to brag. Who cares that they are in the middle of a battle right now. Nope, Legolas is just like gotta find Gimli and tell him I am KICKING HIS ASS. 

honestly these two

AND THE IRONY when he DOES find Gimli, Gimli’s in the lead 42-39. I like that Legolas has killed two more in this time. I can’t help but hope they were ‘Grrrr I can’t find my dwarf where is he’ passive aggressive killings, like two orcs who just happened to get in his way mid-rant. Because of course, we all know that he actually was worried about Gimli in all of this. 

So, Gimli wins. 

BUT THEN

We get THIS GEM

When Treebeard isn’t sure about letting Gimli into Fangorn, Legolas freaking uses Gimli’s high score to brag about his dwarf to impress Treebeard and it works. 

Legolas just proudly proclaiming Gimli’s victory to Treebeard to validate his presence in Fangorn feeds my soul and I love this so much

So there’s my take on the REAL reasons behind their friendly casualty count. God I love these two so much 

[sirsparklepants]

"When life gives you lemons" FALSE LEMONS ARE A HYBRID OF A BITTER ORANGE AND A CITRON, MEANING WE GAVE OURSELVES LEMONS

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I have a new favourite batshit rail idea

Please build it for the funny please please please

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best duo <3

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