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slowroast · 2 years
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When you don’t have best friend clearance
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slowroast · 2 years
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incorrect "The Chosen" quotes #5
Simon P: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Andrew: No, I said "Simon, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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Underrated character post: Elam
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Credit to @memes_of_the_chosen on Instagram, which is a goldmine for The Chosen memes! I check there almost every day and they never fail to make me laugh.
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slowroast · 2 years
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incorrect "The Chosen" quote
Disciples: How long will this take?
Jesus: Could be 3, or 4.
Disciples: 3 or 4...what? Days? Weeks? Months?
Jesus: Yeah, could be five.
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slowroast · 2 years
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he protecc
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he attacc,
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but most importantly,
HE NEEDS TO STOP TALKING BACC
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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I’d be the disciple Jesus calls out of the boat to walk on the water and I step out and roll my ankle
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slowroast · 2 years
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incorrect "The Chosen" quote #8
Jesus, teaching Simon P to drive: Okay, you're driving and Andrew and Matthew walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Simon P: Oh, definitely Matthew. I could never hurt Andrew.
Jesus, facepalming: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
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slowroast · 2 years
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Me watching The Chosen: It’s just a show, it’s just a show, it’s just artistic representation…
John: *incredibly hot*
Me: Do not fall in love with a fictional representation!!
John: *passionate inquisitive dreamer*
Me: THIS MAN IS NOT A REALITY, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!!
John: *cries for Jesus*
Me: DAGNABIT!!!
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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When I get off work
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slowroast · 2 years
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slowroast · 2 years
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Peter: “Trust me, I know what I’m doing!”
Jesus: “Not even God knows what you’re doing.”
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