“what’s stopping me?” (pap)
what’s holding up your manifestations from coming to fruition?
it’s a common question i got throughout the intuition readings. and i remember asking myself the same thing. one thing i want to preface with is nothings stopping you. the 3D is just lagging. it’s usually just how you feel that’s wondering what’s stopping you!
but in this pick a picture, we will be diving into what’s stopping your manifestations, and how to get over them in order to receive everything you want and more!
please note the phrases/alt text for each pile will have little to nothing to do with the pile you choose. do not let it affect your decision.
disclaimer, this pick a pile is not legal advice or anything like that. you can take everything with a grain of salt, because not every fact will apply to you. do not take my words as final say, as anything can change.
inhale, exhale, and let your intuition flow. now click 'keep reading' and select an image from down below. (be sure to look at the image description !!)
all image credits to their rightful owners. if you know any of them, please lmk.
Pile I — Flower Body
hello pile 1!! i hope ur doing well :) im wishing u the best!
whats holding you back is the material and ONLY focusing on it. nile heard “sitting on your laurels/hands.”
youre allowing urself to sink into the quicksand and not doing anything to fight it… when there’s a branch right in front of you to grab onto…?
like… why just sit there and do nothing when there’s something you can do? you may be stuck in your own mind, honestly. just breaking yourself down, over and over again — only allowing yourself to believe what is in front of you. you don’t trust the whimsy, you don’t trust the signs. your motto is “if i don’t see it, it isn’t real.”
im going to break the news to you, pile one, if you keep this mindset nothing is going to come to you instantly. and i hope that motivated you to stand up and do SOMETHING, because doing nothing isn’t helping.
your advice from spirit is connect with your emotions to better yourself. don’t allow this depression to gain the best of you. another thing is allow your imagination to flow — even if you don’t see it right now.
sociopath by stay loose and bryce fox came on.
i feel like you’re like “it hasn’t worked in the past, it isn’t working now, so it can’t work in the future.” which is NOT true at all. let the vast be the past, do what you can in the present to shape your future. don’t look in the rear view mirror when driving. don’t let someone else grab the wheel when you’re driving — this is YOUR car. YOUR journey. do it, and don’t let the 3D, your thoughts or ur doubts get in the way of it. run them over.
that’s all pile 1, please take care of urself and don’t listen to the voices telling you to give up — i promise it will get easier.
extra signs/confirmation : “drive. DRIVE DRIVE!”, “they’re in the past”, someone who shuts down when things get hard, scorpio, “loser/loner”, may have been bullied/put down before, not moving because you’re scared of the chain reaction, not understanding that the past is done, “quit looking at the material. it ain’t shit, bitch.”, “don’t trust everything you see!”, shifttok, complicated methods, potential, sitting on your ass, taking the punches, allowing yourself to be destroyed, crying.
Pile II — See No Evil
hii pile 2!! i hope you’re doing well!! wishing u the best :p
for your energy, we pulled 10 of swords — which isn’t that great of a start — but at least it gives us some information. you’re someone who feels burnt out, tired, stressed and neglected. nile got a similar energy, saying she “felt a self-relinquished energy. Feeling small weak, diminished, low-power, half-effort smiling. They know things are less than okay. Telling themselves/pretending to appear to others that they're not as shaken about things being stale and scarce as they are actually feeling inside.”
you’re not reflecting your true self, which is really self-demeaning. you’re limiting yourself by hiding yourself. and maybe you’re being forced into a box — and i am being too!! find a way to cut a small hole out the box and get the fuck out without anyone noticing. find yourself, even if you just need to sit there and breathe for a while. sometimes that’s all you need to do — find one thing you love.
whats holding you back seems to be obsession, and we pulled queen of pentacles combined with 3 of swords. that’s insane.. maybe obsession of a past love?
get off their social media, block them, they don’t matter! they are not ur partner anymore. if ur friends, our distance between you two. not separate yourself fully, just take a step back. don’t let them be a huge part of ur life, they aren’t anymore. i feel like this is the reason you shut down, the reason you’re repressing yourself now. maybe they were ur out, your sense of joy.
i remember a quote i saw a long time ago, “to have a healthy relationship, there must be self love and love of the other person (or people) involved.” you wed to distance yourself and find some love for urself before u do anything else.
to get other this, you need to be angry in a way. you need to finally stand up and walk out. this isn’t serving you anymore. you need to stop. don’t let this control you. stop letting it control you. i keep hearing “get out, get out, get out.” which is scary. you’re not trapped, pile 2. you can get out. just stand up and walk out — or i’d TRULY that simple.
i love you pile 2, please work for urself and not other people.
extra signs/confirmation: “the final straw”, finally stepping out the box, red, repetition, affirming, false belief, not standing up for yourself, vomiting, crying a LOT, keeping things to yourself, looking outwardly, not confirming with yourself, needing to take a leap of faith, 999, “hopeless and helpless”, “BULLSHIT!”, “gone”.
Pile III — Black Mirror
hellooo pile 3!!! how are you??!! i hope ur well!!
your energy feels “convoluted yet diluted.” there’s so much going on, but somehow it’s so watered down and so deep down. like you can’t find yourself, because the there’s so much going on around you. it’s like you’re just caught in a tornado — being mixed in with all the mess.
im so sorry pile 3. i really hope it gets better, but let’s get onto the reading. what’s limiting you is the way you’re overworking yourself. and honestly, the solution is to work through it. keep going pushing, keep working, and don’t stop.
this is something that you are going to have to power through. the song that came on is paralyzed by nf. i’m going to link it
it’s such a touching song, i used to listen to it a lot. you’re stuck in what feels like a cycle. you don’t feel like yourself. you don’t know why, but it’s because you’re currently in a state where you HAVE to work through this. it isn’t gonna last much longer, but whenever you can take a break.
don’t overwhelm yourself, but also don’t always step back. don’t forget what you need to do. always work as hard as you can, but do not neglect yourself. and i know that is SUCH a hard reading and a complicated situation, but you will find it. you will find the balance, the key. it will work out. i’m rooting for u, pile 3.
extra signs/confirmation: chaotic life, in school or uni, being really tired, neglecting work, working long hours, not prioritizing time, sad rap, lil peep, black jacket, hopeless, helpless, not allowing yourself to find a solution, finding distractions, never doing what needs to be done until the last minute, “why is nothing working?” hyper fixating on self-pleasure and manifestation instead of what also needs to be done.
Pile IV — To See
hello pile 4! i hope you’re doing well! i feel the need to mention that ive been seeing 444 a lot, but 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
your energy is every much “the knight in shining armor”, the one who always wants to save and help others — usually neglecting themselves in the process. you stand up for those being bullied, possibly because you were bullied in the past and feel for them. you don’t want people to be broken down like you (and i relate so much — this pile lowkey feels like a callout)
your issue is that you’re holding onto the past, and allowing it to control you. u may say “i let go of that a long time ago”, well there’s a part you’re holding onto and you know it. i feel like exposure therapy may be good for you — ask someone you trust to put you in a similar situation and try to react now. like not as you were, but as you are.
spirit is saying to get over this, you must find balance and peace within yourself. you may have never gotten an apology, never gotten help, or never opened up, but you need to seek it now. cut off the past. it isn’t your friend — and it will not change. don’t allow acknowledgment to take control of you. knowing is not accepting.
that’s all i have for u pile 4!! i hope all goes well, and after you get over this and find balance, i feel like it’s going to come to you immediately. you may not even know you got out the situation!
song bc i forgot to do it earlier 💀💀
extra signs/confirmation: aries, ray of sunshine, false energy (putting our positive energy although you are feeling negatively — specifically got a visual of golden/yellow energy with grey in the center), yellow energy, spontaneous, growth is required, growth is coming, pain, ribs (?), getting over an ex, boys a liar (original).
what’s limiting you is your need for control ALL THE TIME
Pile V — Death’s Harvest
hello pile 5! i hope you’re doing well!! this is probably one of the most intense piles based off the name, but we’ll see!! your energy is very much “i’m in control, i am the man” with king of cups coming out. also kinda getting u have ur head in the clouds, and you don’t rlly see things as they are, but as u want them to be.
what’s limiting you is your need for control. you want it took much, so you have decided “i’ll just ignore everything i don’t like!” which isn’t good. you have to acknowledge the things you don’t like and find a way to change them. don’t just ignore them — stop trying to deny thing are bad? because they ARE.
to get out of this energy, you need to clear the plate. literally. you nee to decide “this isn’t fo me, i’m not having it.” and dump the table. i feel like you know how to do this, but you won’t. decide to do it, stop carrying what you don’t need. very clear message, pile 5!!! i hope all goes well :)
extra signs/confirmation: “i cleaned the plate” (u threw it in the trash), talkative guides, yapper, lots of love. your guides love you, but they really need you to know that this isn’t for you., braggy, injury (smth w a p), health issues, tiara, “homosapien, homosexual”, devil town by cavetown.
Pile VI — Earth’s Hello
hi pile 6!! you guys have such a calming energy, i must say, and i love it. i get an image of blue and green, obviously in relationship to earth. you may he a motherly figure, or someone that people can talk to easily.
what’s holding you back is “bitching and moaning, but not working.” you want things to work, but you won’t take that action. you want something, but all you do is sit and wait for it to happen. it’s like sitting at a bus stop but never standing up to get on the bus.
you’re letting yourself rot. your potential is draining out of you second by second. and i don’t think it’s truly because youre lazy or burnt out, but it’s out of confusion. dont know what to do, but because of that, you wont do anything. if you’re confused, ask for help, dont just decide to give up.
your advice is to cut down your options and hyper focus on ONE activity. don’t allow everything in your mind to jumble up at once, give yourself space to work and think. you can’t sit there forever and expect your manifestations to just fall in your lap when you don’t even have hope.
extra signs/confirmation: i felt like blood in my throat? it smelled like blood and it kinda hurt on my left side, babies, pointy shoes, TV by billie eilish, paralysis, overwhelmed, “you’ve got this!”, babies (again), not working when you need to, 777, the letter T.
Pile VII — All Seeing Cat
hii pile 7! let’s get straight in. your energy can be very calming. you’re a hard working and you work until you get the rewards. you’re not someone who gives up — you hold on until the end. u know that there’s a cycle, a method, and a way to get through it. although it hurts, you continue to push through! that’s so good!! i’m so proud of u pile 7! also you got 7 of pentacles for ur energy. which i think is kinda 777 bc of pile 7 yk but wtv. i also js saw 777!!
your limitation is your emotion and your need for emotional and even romantic attention. i feel like this so something you struggle with on and off — and so do i 😭😭 i asked for a song for clarification, and got mad hatter by melanie martinez.
you’re not in the best mindset and you know this! so why do you keep trying to go after this romantic attraction? push back these feelings, pretend they aren’t there — because they aren’t serving you. the right person will come when you need them.
for now, rely on friends and family rather than romantic interest. like i told pile 2(i think) slowly distance yourself, don’t just cut them off.
extra signs/confirmation: the colour purple, alice in wonderland (obviously), cups cards, emotional, back and forth, mood swings, “emotional wreck”, confused, “need for validation, delusions, center of attention, “attention whore.”
Pile VIII — New Awakening
hiii pile 8!!! 8 is the number of balance, and that’s what i’m praying for this year — balance and fulfillment. your energy is very joyful — you possibly have a yellow aura. but along with this yellow, you feel very alone. you feel distant from everyone — like you have nobody to talk to, nothing to do.
pile 8, you are not alone. you need to surrender these feelings to move forward — confide in someone. be straight up and honest. don’t hold it back anymore — TELL SOMEONE.
twisted by missio came on (cringy ass song, iykyk) and i feel like you may be saying “well they already know, so they won’t help. but they may not know the extent of it. really sit them down and talk them through it, because if you just keep it inside it’s going to be harder.
spirit is also saying “complete the goals you’ve set for yourself”. you may possibly be a fighter and you have a LOT you want to do. finish those things before deciding to move on. it could also be confirmation that your maifestations may come in before you even really confide in someone — because it could be a multiple day process.
extra signs/confirmation: gacha life (💀💀), confusion, bottled up emotions, loniness, depression, black sphere, the colour blackc, “how do i get out of here?”, spirals, 333, energetic and outgoing person, not taking yourself seriously, “do you guys ever think about dying? “ — barbie, “i can be everything i want to be!”, barbie, childhood dreams, online friends, life of the party, friendly, feeling like a fake friend, dance the night from barbie.
Pile IX — Life from Death
hi pile 9!! lotta true crime by penelope scott came on as i was finishing pile 8, and i felt like that was important to mention. the intro beat has been stuck in my head for the past few days so!! you may listen to a lot of true crime too!! lmao
you don’t have a solid sense of self, and ie always seems to be changing. from your world view to the way you style your hair — you’re having issues finding yourself. you may have traveled the world, seen so much, and heard so many opinions, but you don’t know where you fit in. you’re everywhere but nowhere, like 9 — that’s what you think. you’re lost with yourself.
when i asked for what’s limiting you, it’s the mindset that “this isn’t for me anymore.. it isn’t worth it.” it that’s literally because you feel like you don’t have any control. you do have control, pile 9. you just have to find the areas in which you do — don’t be self destructive.
oh ana by mother mother also came on and i feel like that may be an important song to this pile.
your advice is exactly what i said — find places which you have power over. do you like painting? paint what you feel!! don’t act like nothing is going your way — and if it is, THEN MAKE IT.
that’s all i have for u pile 9!
extra signs/confirmation: mother mother, red and orange, fire, childhood, death, being lonely, recent breakup, night to day, dancer/just dance, afraid, sick, vomiting, elita.
i hope you enjoy this pap!! i really hope this resonates and works out. i am hoping the best for each and every pile — and i pray that everything works out. no matter if it takes days or years — it will happen. i promise. i am living proof.
much love, abyss.
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Kink list with Bjorn Ironside:
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
I do not really care for physical affection after the act. I may cuddle or stroke your skin with my fingertips, but I tend to be silent, and will stare out into the distance. I do not like to reveal my emotions easily and certainly not at times like these.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I am quite fond of my back. It is long and muscly, and is very pleasant to the touch. I like to have it stroked. I am extremely fond of my wife's hips and thighs. She is curvy, and her flesh is very satisfying to squeeze and caress.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
On my partner's body, it could be anywhere - anywhere my partner feels comfortable with. Maybe on their chest, or their face, or even their stomach. It all depends on the moment and the preferences of both partners involved.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I am a bit of a voyeur. I have enjoyed watching other men with their wives when the chance presented itself.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I have had my share of lovers. You could say that I have some experience under my belt. I believe I know enough to satisfy most women. I have had enough experience to know what I am doing. I am not a mindless brute when it comes to this.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
One of his all-time favorite positions is the cowgirl position, as it allows for a different level of control and dominance between partners. He enjoys the feeling of being on top and dictating the pace, as well as the view from this position.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He is usually more serious during intimate moments. He is not a fan of idle chit-chat in moments like this. He feels that a man who cannot give his full attention to someone they are lying with is no man.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
His hair grows in quite fast. So he tries to keep himself neat and tidy, but he cannot help but let his hair grow in from time to time. The carpet certainly matches the drapes. He grows a lot of hair, especially in certain areas.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He knows that romance and passion are important to most. If you cannot feel a connection, then there is little reason to continue with the act. He personally likes to kiss and stroke. He also enjoys words of affirmation toward you. He often tells you how beautiful you are during his time with you, and how much he desires you. He does his best to make you feel wanted and loved.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
If I am to be honest, it is something that he has little desire for. Mainly because his needs are always met by someone else, so he has no reason to pleasure himself when he can just be pleased by others.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Dirty talk: He finds it to be a great way to express desires and interests and to build anticipation. He doesn't mind being on the receiving end of it either.
Experimentation: He is open-minded about trying new things, so he is always open to exploring different ideas, toys, positions, and locations.
Confidence: He likes it when you are confident and take the initiative to explore and try new things.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He quite enjoys the bed. The soft sheets and the smooth pillows are quite nice to lie upon as well as watching you writhe in pleasure. However, there are times when he finds himself wanting a bit more excitement and a bit more room to move. When those occasions come up, he quite enjoys doing it out in the wild. The grass and dirt are not quite as comfortable, but there is a certain thrill to doing it where someone might see you two. There is also something exciting about the risk that you might be caught.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Many different things get him going, but if he had to narrow it down to just one thing, it would say when you show him that you really want him, and you are willing to do anything with him because you desire him so much. It is a truly intoxicating feeling to him.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
There are several things I would never agree to do. That would include feet, blood, or anything that would cause him pain. He also absolutely refuses to allow another man into his bedroom for such intimate activities and to share you. He does not enjoy being with an overly aggressive partner. He likes his partner to be submissive.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He often finds himself more in the mood to receive. I would say that he is quite skilled. He does not lack in either the ability to give pleasure or the ability to receive it.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He is quite versatile in this regard. He can be quite fast and rough, but he can also be slow and sensual. He enjoys exploring what you like, and finding what works for you. Sometimes, the slow and sensual approach is more appropriate, and sometimes the rough and fast is more appropriate.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He believes that a quickie can have its place. It can be an interesting and even exciting change of pace from longer sessions. He thinks that they can be quite fulfilling and enjoyable.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He is quite open-minded and is open to trying most things once. He thinks that one of the most pleasurable parts of sex is exploring and discovering new things. Taking risks can be quite thrilling, and trying something new can be an exciting experience.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
It depends on many factors. He can go for quite a while, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes he can go for over an hour. It largely depends on how long he wants to enjoy it, and how much pleasure he wishes to extract from the situation.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He does own some toys. He uses them on you as part of the foreplay process. He also sometimes uses them on himself, when he is feeling particularly imaginative and is craving a little extra stimulation.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He enjoys teasing you immensely. He has a fondness for playing with your senses and using those senses to tease you. He takes immense pleasure in seeing you squirm with anticipation and lust, and the feeling of power and control at that moment is quite intoxicating to him.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
It depends on the situation and how long it's already been. He is generally a bit vocal during sex, but he does manage to keep himself quiet most of the time. When the moment gets too intense, however, He finds himself more vocal and loud, with grunts and moans. He has been told that he has quite the voice in those moments and that the sounds he makes are quite primal and passionate.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
His most wild dirty secret is one that he has never spoken of outside of the bedroom. He is quite fond of dominating his partners. The thought of having total control over someone's body and mind, of taking you and using you, excites him quite a bit. When he is with a partner, he likes to be extremely assertive and possessive. He tends to hold you down and take you aggressively. It is a part of who he is in the bedroom.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
He is fairly above average in that category. He is quite happy with his size, and he believes that he has more than enough to satisfy most partners.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Quite high, he has a very passionate nature and he tends to become easily aroused. He is one for adventure and exploration, and so he is happy to engage in sex quite frequently.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It depends on the situation and the partner. If it is a long and tiring session, he can fall asleep quite quickly afterward. However, if it is a particularly intense session, he may not be able to sleep at all. His mind often likes to linger on those moments and replay them again in his mind.
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