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anyway. onto better things

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This post would be evergreen except that this particular audience is actually at 0% retention today!!!! Congrats everyone on a new low

thanks microsoft word for suggesting ways to make my writing more concise, but what you don't understand is that the audience for this document retains about 40% of any information presented to them and does so with the accuracy of a chat bot so i do actually have to repeat myself in every single clause and sentence to make sure that at least if they don't understand it, for my own sanity, i will be 100% positive that i did everything in my power to eliminate uncertainty

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herons would love middle aged man fishing culture i think

do you understand my vision

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the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

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Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

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the would-be love who's obsessed with healthy habits but is the most dehydrated bitch of all time

"you treat your mouth like it's heaven's gate/the rest of you like you're the TSA" thank you hozier i needed a cackle

#can only contain as much liquid as their 3.4 oz containers in a quart sized bag can hold #water bottle always empty #i really do not care if this one has a deeper meaning i am simply cracking up

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pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape if you can sit in a barrel, maybe i'll wait

i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave

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"you treat your mouth like it's heaven's gate/the rest of you like you're the TSA" thank you hozier i needed a cackle

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CHAPPELL ROAN for NYLON Magazine

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I know you want it, baby, you can have it Oh, I've never done it, naked in Manhattan

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#yes i just posted femininomenon like two days ago but this image has been in my head for a week ok

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this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

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ive gotten so much mileage out of this tweet. every time i see something on the internet that makes me mad i just think to myself "people in real life: hey man how's it going" and i keep it pushing

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i think everyone needs to adopt "i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it" into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders

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Pomegrante Collar Pins // Crafts and Wonders

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the audacity of tumblr to serve me a weird over the shoulder sepia video ad of ts**ft typing methodically on a typewriter not once but twice while i was scrolling through the chappell roan tag to experience the pure joy of chappell at coachella in head to toe pink and sparkles with the biggest butterfly wings of our time..... i'm trying so hard not to be hater out loud this week but jfc thank god someone in pop music wants to have fun rn