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Me: *makes arguments on how snape saved everyone and was a hero, cares for the hogwarts kids etc etc.

Also me: Fuck them kids bro. Fuck everybody actually. Become a criminal and go feral sev.

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Lily, panicking and reverting to traditional 'girl talk' topics: What's the first thing you notice when a guy approaches you?

Severus, her personal mentor and motivator: The fucking audacity

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Snape when he first started teaching

(All credits to @snonions-and-cream from this post)

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Baby Draco: fuck

Narcissa: *gasp* who taught Draco that word

Lucius: not me!

Evan: not me!

Bellatrix: surprisingly not me.

-everyone looks at Severus-

Severus: oh yeah? Blame the fucking half-blood, right? It’s always the fuck- oh.

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happy birthday to the man that cured my depression 

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day 14: severus

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i think severus is much fiercer/aggressive/violent than people give him credit for. he’s usually characterised as this cerebral ‘no silly wand waving’ type of person but??? what part of ‘sectumsempra was his specialty’ makes you think he’s anywhere near the vicinity of fucking around?

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"make Lily a lesbian, you cowards" — I whispered as I go through ao3 to find a nice snape fic

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's adhd and lesbianism

#it me!

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Why do people stop commenting on fics if they’re more than a week or two old? Please comment on old fics. Tell me you like my one shot from 2014. Tell me you like my old multi-chap I finished in 2016 that I spent a year writing. I will be fucking thrilled.

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sightings

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Lovely commission I made recently, I really liked how it turned out <3

Now I’m kinda sad I deleted all my old snupin drawings.

#snupin #listen they're both bastards

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Snape really put his whole pussy into that Expelliarmus —

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Harry Potter AU where instead of being embarrassed to have a boggart that looks like him in Neville’s grandmother’s clothes, Severus Snape rocks exclusively women’s clothing for the rest of the school year.

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Ron: who do you think Snape hates the most?

Harry: easy, me.

Hermione: I reckon Neville could give you a good challenge though.

Snape overhearing: jokes on you, it’s myself.

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My headcanons for Snape's sleeping schedule:

Only sleeps 2-4 hours a night

Is the last to go to bed and the first to rise

Is mostly awake thanks to caffeine, pepper-up potions (personal brew with thrice the strength and twice the risks), spite, or force of will

Showers before bed and lays out his clothes for easy "throw clothes on" situations at the end of his bed; as part of this, he wears socks to bed and has his boots right next to the bed

If Snape sleeps longer than 4 hours, it's because he's collapsed from exhaustion.

Summer sleep schedule is not a thing; Snape is just asleep wherever, whenever, and for however long.

Accurate????

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Snape knowing unsupported flight being revealed then dismissed in such a nonchalant way is hilarious to me like oh yeah Snape can fly without a broom, btw it’s an extremely rare, unprecedented skill previously thought to be impossible and only ever used by one other person, the Dark Lord himself, but anyway-