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I have no idea what I'm doing. Well, more than usual.

Did you know?

Everyone's opinion matters.

Apparently, quite a bit more than I imagined.

Let's say there's a person A. Person A really likes Person B.

Person B, on the other hand, isn't quite sure.

Or so Person A thinks.

And that's the first step through the first gate to hell.

Point 1: Misconceptions about another person's feeling can have disastrous results.

So, we have A and B, who are unfortunately somewhat inseparable because they work together.

If nothing else, they have to spend a lot of time together.

The theory that there's so such thing as a friendship between a man and a woman is usually correct, but I would like to add something to this.

There's no such thing as a long-lasting friendship between a man and a woman.

Short-term, entirely possible.

Problem? No definitive warning period between short-term and long-term.

So, we now have both A and B walking through the second gates, unknowingly hand in hand.

Point 2: Be wary of prolonged exposure to those of the opposite gender.

So, the third stage is the foggy stage.

Neither A nor B can see anything through the fog.

The bigger underlying problem is that they enjoy some aspects that the fog covers for them, so they are unwilling to realize their mistakes.

A and B travel together, go on short trips, spend the weekend together, Christmas, New Year's, the whole nine yards.

Both are happy, but A especially more so, because (remember above?) A likes B. A is in for a rude awakening when the fog clears.

The third gate, is a mystical device that gets rid of any annoying fog.

And the two manage to stumble through.

Point 3: f*** fog-removing gateways

Point 3: The fog of war love reality can be really fatal.

Now, the fog is gone, but seemingly for a moment, and A and B can see again.

The problem? They are not sure they like what they see.

They scramble for cover. Why? Because if the fog clears and they can see, it means others can see as well.

While the two were traipsing through the fog, they had not thought of the numerous eyes that saw suspicious shadows in the fog.

The eyes that thought, are these two together? Because it seems that way.

Once the fog clears, A and B have nowhere to hide.

And so many people are watching.

Point 4: Beware the eyes of Sauron others, who may judge only by what they see.

You may ask, at this stage, why there was no fourth gate.

Maybe A and B are already in hell.

Or perhaps, B had not been interested in A at all, and A had just spent months dragging B through an unwanted hell.

Maybe there is no turning back, or any hope of redemption whatsoever.

Perhaps they will make a brilliant escape and convince all the eyes involved that there was nothing to be suspicious of.

Point 5: There's always a morning after.

             Unless, of course, there isn't, and this is the end of the story.

I really hope there's a chapter 2 with a happier ending...

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The Truth Shall Set You Free (Hopefully)

You know what I realized today?

It’s really the simple things in life that make me the happiest.

After a pretty rough day, I was laying down, unable to will myself to do anything productive whatsoever. I suppose I was in the middle of a mental crisis. I couldn’t decide why I was where I was, and why I had to stay here a moment longer.

Perhaps it had to do something with my little trip to drop off two people I respect very much. One person, I have known for two years now, is undoubtedly one of the most patient people I have every met. The other, I respect very much for his integrity and honesty, and he tries his best to take care of both his and his wife’s parents. Having lived a life with just one grandmother in the household, I can only imagine what a tremendous amount of willpower it must take to keep that going.

The reason I was sad? I had finished saying what felt like a heartfelt goodbye, perhaps the start of the end of my master’s degree. I don’t blame my professor or my lab seniors, but I cannot pursue my degree here anymore. I don’t feel up to the task of being self-ambitious. I have to find another path.

Back to the moment of my realization. I was laying down, very depressed, grief and heaviness weighing down upon me. I happened to chance upon a conversation in a chat room dedicated to a certain PC game. After spending an hour there, I realized that it was past midnight. It was then, I realized, that a new day had started. 

Along with this new day, I felt a new strength to start anew. I decided to get up and take a shower. While showering, I wondered about  what had given me the strength to achieve that simple task which moments ago had seemed next to impossible. 

The fact that I have friends who make me laugh. I think this is perhaps the greatest gift that anyone can bestow upon me. I then realized the answer to a question I had not been able to solve for months now.

There’s this girl (start of any good story, right?) that I’ve liked for a few months now. I’ve been through pretty much an emotional roller coaster with her, at first I didn’t notice anything about her. Then, one day, I realized that I liked her, so much that it was burdensome to her (what a gentleman;;). It never occurred to me to wonder why I liked her. 

That is, until there was an incident where she was very angry with my ridicule about a certain baseball team. It was at that moment, as much as I was blindsided by the fact that this had bothered her so much, that I realized I may be causing more harm than good, that just because I like someone does not give me the right to trample all over her feelings. With this epiphany, another question struck me head on: why do i like this girl?

That was a few weeks ago. I wasn’t able to answer the question. She is kind, I know, but so are a lot of other girls. She was honest, which is a trait harder to find, but not impossible. So why this girl? Was it the fact that she is very brave? These thoughts were logical, but did not strike true for me. 

Tonight, in the middle of my shower, it struck me. This girl makes me laugh. Which is actually pretty ironic, because I remember thinking in college that I could make a lot of girls laugh, but I couldn’t find anyone who could make me laugh. This girl had been enlightening me with her humor for months now, and it took me WEEKS to realize that this was the main point, this is why I like her so much. The fact that she’s honest, brave, and clever come together to create a sense of humor that I find myself inexplicably and uncontrollably attached to. 

This feeling will not go away for a long time. Sometimes she has a hard time with all the workload and lab matters, and I tried to help her by encouraging her. Little did I know, she had been helping me infinitely better than i was helping her at all. 

At this point, I must ponder my next steps. But to be honest, I have never come this far. I have never reached a point where I must wonder, what is my next step with this person? We are friends, but what is the next step from there?

Ironically, my ignorance of the next step may have fueled my panic which eventually led to by breakdown. My conclusion? I have no idea what to do next, and that’s perfectly fine. At this point in my life, it’s okay not to know where to go next.

What I do know is that I like this girl, and the parts I like don’t necessarily require a (deeper) relationship. At this point, we could be friends, and it wouldn’t leave us anywhere else than where we are now. But I think I should help her laugh more, and make the relationship more mutually beneficial.

So,  current girl that I’m speaking of, smile more, and I’ll do whatever I can to be a good friend. Whatever comes next, we can tackle with the strength of our friendship. Thank you for making me laugh, and I’ll try my best so we can laugh together more. The world can always use a little more happiness. 

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The things I worry about

Usually turn out to be nothing.

Should I stop worrying?

What defines the bounds of contemplation versus hesitation?

How to define whether a thought is necessary, or perhaps action?

Perhaps it has something to do with our limitations.

Those things within our grasp, we can exert influence over. And the things that aren't, but need to be; those are the things that haunt us.

The mind wants to believe we are the masters of our fate.

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It's not easy to lead

It's really not as easy to lead as I thought.

It's not only a problem with the decision making process, where everyone's opinion should be accounted for... If the people aren't willing to come forth with their opinions, then leadership does not have a good foundation to base their decisions on.

And in a democratic society, the opinions of the many cannot be ignored. The leader cannot make decisions wholly as they see fit. Especially when everyone is supposed to have an opinion about the matter, and even harder when the factions are split evenly down the middle.

So what prevails? Will it be the will of the people, or the will of the one in charge?

Personally, I think someone has to take a stand. Otherwise progress will never be made.

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THE U.S. SHUTDOWN

While on the outside the U.S. government seems to be a move by President Obama and various opposing members of Congress conflicted on the Obamacare ordeal, there is a possibility that the opposing parties of the United States may in fact be united behind closed doors. As this is mere speculation, there is sparse, if any information regarding this matter.

There is fear of the government shutdown continuing to the point where the U.S. is forced to fall into default. However, as the global currency remains to be the USD, such an event would be catastrophic to many other nations and not just its own. Admittedly, some nations may even benefit from the weakened U.S. and utilize the situation to their advantage.

Nontheless, it is true that the continued troubles in the U.S. are affecting global economic trends. In that aspect, the U.S. may be actually warning other nations. The problem with this conspiracy is that perhaps the world will never know who the warning is intended for, or whether a warning exists at all. If it is true, however, it must be a formidable nation that the great U.S. has to go such lengths to prove a point.

This would be once case in which the various different parties in the U.S. are putting on a show to achieve a common goal. While people argue ferociously over the two-party system and whether the opposing parties will ever agree, the U.S. has maintained its worldwide presence up to this point and will likely remain to do so for the foreseeable future.

The main point in this article would be: to keep a wary eye out for hidden agendas. It is best to hope that there is none and the problem can be fixed merely by opposing parties reaching across the aisles and becoming bset friends; however, it is unwise to be prepared for situations even worse than what appears on the surface.

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Thoughts of the morning

- U.S. Shutdown      * Economic Opportunities      * A Warning Shot? - Economy Management      * 5 Portion Plan

- Possible Research Areas      * The Republican Tea Party      * Korean Summit Talks Records

THE U.S. SHUTDOWN

While the current government shutdown in the U.S. seems sinister at first glance

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Flight Paths

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Chuck Feeney

http://www.forbes.com/sites/stevenbertoni/2012/09/18/chuck-feeney-the-billionaire-who-is-trying-to-go-broke/

1. It's amazing that someone would make that much money, put all their time and effort, and then actually use that money for numerous good causes.

2. Fascinatingly, this man seems to enjoy living an average everyday life, does not hesitate to spend for necessary times (sending employee home on Concord! just to make sure they get home in time for holidays). Priorities seem to be a strong absolute, very admirable.

3. Management and abilities seem extraordinary. In order to raise a fortune of such vast proportions, his talent is certainly unsurpassed by many others in as many aspects.

4. Effective use of money - not necessarily frugal, but makes sure that the donations have full effect (occasionally forcing governments and other charity groups to provide donations). Even takes the naming privileges on buildings and sells it to tycoons for added effect to the donation.

5. Helping and convincing others - not just his money (example mentioned above) but convinces others to part with theirs as well, by his example. Linked to many philanthoropologists of our time, considered to be most-giving at his level. This creates a social reaction that makes others consider giving as well. A strange form of teamwork in effect.

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Is ignorance a wrong?

There are always ignorant people who are at the mercy of those smarter and/or stronger than them. So who is at fault? Is it the ignorant, for being ignorant? The argument here is "one should have known better" leading to the counterargument "if they had known better the events would not have occured". On the other hand, while the strong are realistically at an advantage, does that advantage grant them power over fellow men? I think society has and always will be a system based on power due to the inevitable greed of men. While this may be how the system is, I believe that it is unfortunately unethical and therefore those with integrity should refrain themselves and others from using such barbaric methods to achieve their means.

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Two sides to every coin

In a practical aspect, might mean you can't please everybody.

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Fascinating. Must read more on subject

http://www.hangthebankers.com/co2-eating-lamp-that-runs-on-algae/

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Mannerisms

To the humble and kind, good mannerisms are self-evident and unmentionably necessary. To those that seek out evil with darkness in their hearts, it acts as the first defense, a mask of sorts. In any aspect it is only logical to maintain a graceful form to those around us, whether it be a medium of continuous goodwill or one that shields us from constant harm.

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Thoughts become seeds of words, and words become seed to actions

It would be wise to consider such aspects in everyday life; it may decide the outcome of a being.

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Indians are/are not Asians

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Perspective

I always thought that the world around me was strange. Unfair. At times outright crazy. But all of a sudden I realized That the fault might lie with me. To be honest, it's not fair to ask the world around me tp change unless I am willing to change first. Therefore I will attempt to change. To become more understanding. More accepting. That seems like the faster step towards effective change