snowmuttgetsweird - Tumblr blog

snowmuttgetsweird · 2 months

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02/19/24, afternoon

Life is so busy, in good ways and in bad, but it's SO busy, that even the good ways start feeling bad.

Just too much to do and not enough time or money to do them.

I've got books, Death Stranding, Ed comes out for Street Fighter 6 in eight days, FF7 Rebirth comes out in 10, I need a new Digimon deck cause my friends just get mad against the two I play right now, and I keep discovering new games I enjoy at work that other folks refuse to play with me. Movies and shows to watch too- need to re-watch the 90's animated X-Men since we're getting proper new episodes- very hype about that.

Legends and Lattes was a good book I borrowed from a friend. He picked up the prequel and gave it to me to read first because I've been reading a lot in my spare time cause it's free/cheap and figured I'd finish it quick, but I'm in the middle of The Archive Undying right now, which the same friend got me for Christmas, so now I feel slightly rushed to finish both fast.

Star Wars Unlimited, the new Star Wars TCG, seems interesting. I'm not especially big on Star Wars as a franchise, and I only played one game with the Darth Vader starter against the Luke starter, but I think the game has good bones- took a lot of good aspects of other TCGs and made something pretty unique that feels interactive, very tempo-based, and difficult to power creep. Bonus that it's designed with drafting and sealed play in mind, which makes it very accessible to new players that may not be interested in constructed play. Unfortunately, no one else I normally play games with is interested in playing with me, and I don't really have time to introduce more friends into my life atm, so that may go unexplored for a while.

Similar situation with Dune Imperium Uprising. Played it at a staff game night once, and been hooked on it since, but haven't been able to play again cause none of my friends are interested- plus it's, like, a four hour game and I don't own my own copy, and if I wanna buy one myself, it's gonna be like, $60+. Woof.

At least with Digimon, a lot of my costs are offset by generous friends that throw chaff from their bulk at me.

On the subject of card games, MtG's siren song has been calling me lately. My day job has me babysitting a bunch of other folks playing card games and board games all day, so I spend a lot of my time watching other people play Magic, and I've been feeling the itch. I might try to pick up a Commander deck and give it a shot.

I'd rather be playing Lorcana, which scratches a similar itch to Magic, but it's just so hard to get my hands on product. I have like, PART of a Belle deck, but with no Belle. She was $13 a pop for like, five minutes, and then the price suddenly shot back up to $20-something before I could spare the scratch to pick up a playset. Still better than the $38-something she was before, but still out of budget unless I save up a little at a time for a long time- not even to mention other Steel-Sapphire staples like Hades, Giant Tinker Bell, Let it Go, A Whole New World and Grab Your Sword. Product has been so scarce though that I think my friends have more or less given up on Lorcana entirely at this point anyway.

Trying to get together with folks when I can to flip some old YuGiOh stuff I've still got, but haven't been successful so far. Was prepped to meet with someone a few weeks ago, and then got COVID and had to put it off. :/

But yeah, no time, not enough money. When I'm not at the day job I'm drawing, and I also have to do cooking and cleaning and laundry and such on those days as well.

Or doing this cause I need a neutral party to vent my feelings and frustrations to. Bleh.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 3 months

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02/15/24

Feeling kinda sad thinking about how much I dislike the way my art looks.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 6 months

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11/15/23, afternoon

Was getting kinda verbose and leaning into a direction I didn't want, so I deleted this whole thing to start over and be a bit more concise.

I'm just glad my friends and audience are so supportive. It's insane that I can be barely active and so far behind in my workflow for so long and still have an audience and at least some income.

Every time it feels like everything is falling into place and coming together, I stumble a bit and I feel like I'm back at square one, but you folks continue to support me regardless. That's really incredible that of all the people you could be helping, I'm one of the ones you choose. Me.

No matter how bad stuff gets, having that support is really cool. I'm very lucky to have these people in my life.

I feel very pressured to always do my best- but even when I'm not tip-top, you folks don't abandon me. I'm trying to take that to heart.

Thanks folks.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 9 months

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7.22.23, early evening

whelp, stream's over. Like three or four people showed up and left. Got two sketches, so there's that.

Now I'm tired and bored and remembering that I don't have a social life. I have a group of friends that consists of my roommate and his friends, and sometimes they invite him out to do stuff with them, but not me, so all the people I would be able to do something with are occupied with each other and I'm kinda just left alone. I'm not upset about not being invited, I'm just noticing that all the people I know here are the ones that left together, and I don't have anyone else to do anything with.

There's a columbian independence day festival happening at a park nearby with a food truck and a couple stalls selling snacks, but that costs money and it's not as fun going to those types of things alone.

I passed a Black Canary cosplayer being professionally photographed on the way home from splurging on a milk tea after the stream, so that was kinda cool.

I just don't know what to do with myself now.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 10 months

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6/30/23, morning

man, I don't know what to do.

I had ONE really good month and felt like I was finally making progress, and now I'm about to be back to square one. Maybe WORSE than square one. Every time. I get one lucky windfall, and then no one wants to commission me all of a sudden.

Is my art just bad? Are my prices too high? I mean, I held a sale and no one cared. All I got this month were like, three monochrome sketches.

On top of that, my roommate's contract with work is ending soon, which is gonna put us in pretty dire straits since he's basically paying for EVERYTHING but my half of rent on his own.

I dunno, at this point I'm so discouraged that if it were just me I'd say "fuck it, I'll just die" but I've got another person relying on me to help keep them afloat.

Remember when this tumblr was supposed to be an outlet for horny thoughts too? I miss that. I miss feeling horny. Now I just feel stressed out and tired.

This fucking sucks. Well, back to the work I don't have. I guess.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 11 months

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06/14/23, a little after midnight

Things are going okay. Work is a little slow, but I started taking new work earlier in the month, and managed to get all my Patreon Mini Commissions done within the first half of the month, so I'm caught up with that. I've got about six commissions I'm working on atm, plus some personal stuff I've been trying to make time for on the side. I haven't made a lot of money yet this month, but progress is being made, and I do have a couple more commissions over the horizon, so that'll help.

Street Fighter 6 takes up pretty much all my time outside of work. I'm maining Cammy. I placed in Bronze, but I'm doing pretty well and getting close to Silver. I got as high as Gold back in SF5 with Ed. I plan to put in a LOT more time with 6 than I did with 5 though- it's REALLY fuckin' good.

Some advice to new players:

Don't mash buttons while you're getting up after a knockdown. Just block or OD reversal.

Use your back-rise. Pressing two buttons while you're getting knocked down makes you get back up further away.

Learn to anti-air. Usually just a DP, but you've probably got a handful of normals that anti-air consistently too.

Learn three combos: a 2-3 hit light string into a special that knocks down, a DP punish, and a DI punish. They don't need to be fancy, just make sure they're simple enough that you can do them without thinking more or less.

Parry fireballs. Blocking loses meter, but parrying refunds meter. Parrying normals is a little more risky, but parrying fireballs is pretty safe.

Watch your replays, especially if you're losing a lot or getting frustrated. Figure out where you went wrong, and practice to correct the problem.

This is enough to get you to Gold.

Some of this I learned on my own, but most of it I learned from my roommate who's coaching me. It's helping a lot. They recently placed Diamond, so they're pretty good.

I really love fighting games. I hope I can get good.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 11 months

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6/2/23, about noon

Baking soda's incredible. That, some dish soap, and a scouring cloth will remove baked-on shit the dishwasher misses with, like, prettty minimal effort.

I'm not sure why I felt compelled to mention that, I just thought it was neat. Skillet looks practically new.

---

Same day, mid afternoon

Got sidetracked doing a couple things- namely went grocery shopping, picked up a couple things, and made lunch.

Also one of my clients gave me a little donation to help me pay for a copy of Street Fighter 6, so that's probably all I'll be doing outside of work for a good long while. I'm not that great at fighting games but I love the heck out of them, and I really wouldn't mind makin' a run at that 1mil prize from Capcom Cup.

So hype to play Cammy. She's got some Decapre flavor with her new hooligan! Decapre was the first fighting game character I really fell in love with since I started trying to really get good at fighting games in earnest, so to see Cammy get some Decapre type stuff is reeeeally cool.

Back to work. :3

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snowmuttgetsweird · 11 months

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05/29/23, late morning

Self-care.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first.

I have a... I hesitate to say "friend" now. I have an "acquaintance," we'll say, who I haven't talked with a lot lately. We used to message each other infrequently about art and our various issues.

Recently they just messaged me out of the blue and said a lot of weird, random, scary stuff, mostly demanding apologies for something they wouldn't elaborate on, and telling me to kill myself. I consider(ed) them a friend, and I know they have mental illness and trauma, so I let them know that I wasn't comfortable talking to them at that time, that we could revisit the situation when they were feeling better, and I disengaged. They messaged me back saying "my bad" a day or two later, and went silent for months again.

Just today they messaged me again- the same abusive shit, this time calling me a "spoiled cunt" and mocking me for "white problems." I have no idea what brought this about, but I was starting to get tired of the sudden abuse without explanation. I finally just wished them the best and blocked them on Telegram. Even after that they still tried to keep harassing me via FA notes. I took screenshots of everything just in case the situation somehow manages to escalate, and took note that they did delete the entirety of our interaction before the "my bad" part.

I feel bad for this person. I know they're ill and obviously need help, but I'm not in a position to help, and I can't subject myself to their abuse just to be "present" in their lives.

Maybe it's not their fault that they're like this, but I can't stick around at my own expense for their benefit.

Sometimes self-care means recognizing that you cannot help someone, and that trying will only hurt you. It's better to disengage.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 11 months

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5/25/23, late morning

Uneventful. Not a lot happening in life, and pmuch everything that does just makes me more depressed.

Every little thing just reminds me of how broke I am.

Literally just went to my bank account to check just how broke I am and found an overdraft fee because of a subscription I forgot I even had, so I'm actually transferring money from my savings to my checkings that's intended to pay my 2023 taxes just to pay back the bank.

I'm ugly, too. I'm getting a haircut today, and it's gonna be at a fancy salon place that does shampoos and scalp massages and shit cause I got a gift card almost two years ago, and it's gonna be wasted on me like makeup on a pig. I tried trimming my beard in anticipation and it just reminded me how patchy and shitty it is and now I want to just shave the whole thing off, but then when I do that, my friends just remark how much worse I look without it. I love knowing that covering my face up as much as possible with a patchy, uneven beard is how I look my best. So good.

I really want to just go back to bed. I've got work to do though. Rise and grind haha.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 1 year

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5/3/23, 1 AM

CW: Kink, Hypnosis

Little 1 AM post before bed, just a thing I've been thinking about lately.

I download MP3s from WarpMyMind, which is a website where anyone in the community can write a script for a hypnosis session, record it, and then post it for others to enjoy. Some are paid, but most are free.

The specific kind I like to listen to is kinda embarrassing for me to talk about. I'm not sure why, cause it's not that far removed from stuff I've already expressed interest in. Maybe because I know hypnosis doesn't "work" per say, but the idea of it is fun, and I guess I treat it similarly to something like puppy play, where you're sorta letting yourself sink into a different, comforting or empowering headspace.

I like a lot of transformation (TF) files. These are the files that are meant to, like... Alter your mental state so that you see yourself in a different way, or you feel more motivated and driven to take action to make specific changes in your life that result in achieving your specific goals. Some are supposed to subliminally kinda "trick" your brain into making genuine chemical changes, but they're not real, much like pup play. It's just fun to imagine and pretend. I also like the ones that are supposed to sorta wipe your brain and give you a different purpose.

I listen to ones that like... Focus on making you obsessed with your junk and your body, or keep you always a little horny, or never fully flaccid. I like ones that try to influence your brain into, like, growing really thick, dense body hair, or turning your nuts into heavy, churning testosterone factories 24/7. I like the ones that try to influence you to go to the gym, or "curse" you with something, like a rambunctious inner-pup that starts forcing itself out into your daily life if you don't give it sufficient attention and respect on a regular basis, or an inability to reach climax no matter how much you masturbate, trapping you in a never-ending edge session.

I've never noticed any legitimate effects, but the ones that are actually well-scripted and decent quality can be really fun to listen to at the time.

Problem of course is that most are shit.

A lot of them lack inductions- that is to say, the part at the beginning where the speaker relaxes you and lulls your mind into a receptive state. That or their inductions are really poor.

Some aren't spoken at all. Some scripts are read by synthesized voices that have weird inflections or pronounce things wrong, and it really breaks immersion.

Some have really poor recording quality, like they're recording their recitation from another room.

Some are polluted with a lot of wheezing noises, or wet, smacky mouth noises.

Some are mixed SUPER poorly. A lot will use white noise or binaural tones to help induct you, but mix their voice significantly lower, making it difficult to hear them.

Some of them seem almost improvised, like they were done on the spot. They trip over their words, take long pauses trying to decide what they'll say next, and use odd phrases that don't quite roll off the tongue and make them sound dumb. I'd understand if it were a live session, but being that they're pre-recorded, I'd think that they would have a script or at least an outline, and recite/record a FEW times to get a good take, or at least a composite made from multiple takes, but I guess not.

Not to mention there are a lot of very odd, and sometimes extremely specific files. For every dumb jock TF file, there are like, eight files that are trying to "sissify" you into being more effeminate, or convince you to shit yourself in your sleep, or to specifically seek out and have sex with haggard old homeless women. Yeah that's a real one I scrolled past the other day.

Now and again I find a pretty good one though.

I miss The Hypnotic Beast. They're a furry that does hypnosis files. They used to have a handful that were free to download, but now everything is behind a paywall. I don't blame them- their files are genuinely very high quality with good audio, mixing, inductions, and scripts- I recommend checking them out if you've got the money to spare for their Patreon, but I sure miss those free ones, lol.

There's great hypno art out there too. Dramamine comes to mind, though their art tends to lean more heavily into really severe "mind breaking" type stuff- like complete erasure of your personality, blank slate. I still wanna be me, I just wanna be a better me- but idk, maybe I shouldn't trust myself to know what a "better me" is, and just leave it in someone else's hands?

I guess that's part of the game.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 1 year

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5/2/23, late morning

Been a minute.

I've mostly just been too occupied to really post here- not all bad stuff, some good stuff. Between work and play, I've been too tired to type most evenings, so I'm just taking a little time out of my morning while I sip some coffee to journal a bit.

I've been working really hard to try to catch up on commission stuff. A couple months ago I had like, a two-week long burnout where I BARELY worked at all- and if I did it was like, the absolute bare minimum, at a snail's pace. Since then I've been paying for it- I end up working on the PREVIOUS month's commissions during the time I need to be taking NEW work for the NEXT month's rent, plus Patreon Mini Commissions (I still need to do those for April in fact), and it kinda just keeps snowballing. I AM further along with commissions this time around than last month though, so I AM starting to actually catch up with my workload. It helps that my clients have been very patient with me, I'm so thankful for that. I'm glad they can be so confident that I WILL get their art done given the time to do so, and that they're willing to wait. I guess that's just the fruits of my hard work to ensure that's the truth of things. I ALWAYS finish the piece. I had one slip on that like two years ago and I made a personal vow never to let it happen again. Trello helps with that.

Besides work, I'm trying to still make time for play.

I DID make enough to buy the Digimon cards I wanted- about $45 bucks worth, so that's really cool. Digimon is nice, specifically because it's one of the cheaper TCGs I can play. I've mostly abandoned Yugioh because of the price tag. Initially I started playing Gallantmon because of the structure deck when I was first getting into the game, and since then I've stuck with it and haven't bothered to build anything else. Being a lower-tier/rogue deck, it's on the cheaper side even by Digimon standards as long as I don't invest in alternate art cards. In addition to that, being a popular, main character digimon, Gallantmon will likely, consistently, receive more support throughout the game's lifespan, so I should consistently have opportunities to expand and evolve the deck as long as the game goes on. Even if it's mid now, statistically, it'll likely get enough support to become genuinely strong later. Plus, Guilmon is just an absolute cutie.

That aside, a good friend of mine gave me the money to just straight up buy Resident Evil 4 Remake. He was enjoying it so much, knew I wanted it, and knew I wouldn't be able to afford it myself for quite some time, that he basically just bought it for me, so I've been playing that most evenings after work. It's /really/ good, and really I couldn't imagine a better game to invest in. RE4 has always had really good replay value, and the same can be said for REm4ke. I plan to play the game over and over for a while.

I've also been trying to learn chess on the side. I've always been interested in chess and enjoyed playing, but I'm quite bad and never really put time or effort into studying openings or anything. At this point in my life, with so much going on, I'm not sure I have the time to dedicate to it AND my other hobbies.

My roommate's birthday is coming up. I'd love to buy them something, but that might be out of the question, so I'm thinking of doing some art, getting it printed and framed, and gifting them that. I've got an idea for a three-piece suite I'd like to do maybe that could display well on a wall or atop a shelf- SFW, of course.

Uhh I think that's it for now, I'm not sure what else to say. I don't really have anything else going on, I'm just working and playing games. That never really changes lol.

TTYL.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 1 year

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4/18/23, morning

I screamed into a pillow last night and now I've lost my voice. The hypochondriac in me is gonna probably get panic attacks later out of worry it's gonna do something lasting.

All I can do is sip water frequently throughout the day and hope it comes back. I hate this, I'm never doing that again.

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snowmuttgetsweird · 1 year

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4/11/23, early afternoon CW: Sex stuff.

Man...

I want /huge/ balls. HUGE. Like, kiwi fruits, or goose eggs at minimum- the kind of balls people notice through my shorts, the kind that are borderline inconvenient. I will do /basically/ anything to achieve this goal IF I can be confident it will work.

Unfortunately, realistically, nothing will. At least not without dedicating a lot of time and money.

I've done so much research into this shit on-and-off over the last like, decade of my life. I'm usually just too poor or too busy to try any of it.

Most methods aren't very well-researched and are supported purely through anecdotal accounts. I can break down some of my research though:

As a forward, there are a TON of relevant factors. Like, too many to go into, and many that cannot be controlled, like genetics, but the number one thing you CAN control is your overall health.

Best baseline is good nutrition and exercise. Mind you, this is not "calorie restriction," and you don't necessarily need to be thin to be healthy. Nutrition is just paying attention to what you're putting in your body and making sure it gets the components it needs to run. Excess bodyfat CAN contribute to reduced overall health and reduced testosterone levels, which includes your balls. The relevant part though is that if your balls aren't doing anything, they're going to atrophy. If there is no pressure in your environment to grow or compete (or you are artificially boosting your testosterone through steroids or HRT), your body will naturally produce less testosterone. Exercise teaches your body that there will be stressors it needs to be prepared for, and it will produce more testosterone to compensate. Higher levels of testosterone are directly linked to heavier balls- not to say that having more testosterone in your body will make your balls bigger, but that your balls are bigger because your body is pressured to produce more testosterone. Weight lifting and compound exercises teach your body to produce more testosterone- especially squats- and cardio is the best way to burn excess fat and improve your circulation. In addition to nutrition and exercise, make sure you drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep, and use drugs and alcohol SPARINGLY, if at all. Try to reduce stress in your life if you can. Take time to meditate maybe.

Supplements are very tempting. There are all kinds of things online that say stuff like "X Vitamin will make your dick bigger!" or "this one weird herb made my husband a MONSTER in bed!" but the fact is, most of that is anecdotal or lacking context. Sure, increasing your intake of a specific nutrient might improve your health and thus improve your sexual health, but nine times out of ten, that only happens because your body is already deficient in that nutrient, and you are taking a supplement that is correcting that deficiency. It's like saying "my car runs REALLY WELL when there's gas in it!" No shit, it needs that to run anyway. This is why it's important to first start with good diet and exercise. Once you start really working on your health first, you can work with your doctor to figure out what's ACTUALLY "wrong" with you, whether your body has a hard time utilizing specific nutrients, or you genuinely have low testosterone or a thyroid issue or something else like some kind of chemical deficiency. Anything you do before diet and exercise is treating symptoms as opposed to an underlying problem.

TLDR you SHOULD start with diet and exercise before you start looking for herbs or deer velvet or machines or whatever other methods you hope will help your situation.

That said...

Clomid is intended for use as a fertility drug, so you need a prescription. I've only seen anecdotal claims, but body builders whose genitals have atrophied from steroid abuse often cycle clomid to counteract their hypogonadism, and it's proven to improve testosterone levels in men with low testosterone. Every forum I've gone to, men claim to have grown noticeably larger and heavier testicles through clomid- some claim significantly. The effects fade when you stop taking it though, and it does come with side effects, probably the most common of which is really, really awful acne just under the surface of the skin. Short-term use is considered perfectly safe. Long-term use isn't well-researched, but isn't recommended. Allergic reactions to clomid are rare, but not unheard of. This, as far as I can tell, seems to be the only genuine, surefire way to make your testicles themselves larger.

Vacuum pump therapy is an option. The vacuum draws blood into your genitals, forcibly expanding them. Over time, micro-tears encourage new tissue growth, stretching and engorging your junk. Short-term, effects are temporary and mostly aesthetic. This is usually only applied to the penis as a temporary solution to ED. Permanent expansion of the genitals CAN be achieved over many years of vacuum pump therapy, weights, and manual exercises, but there's a great risk for also causing permanent damage- your erections over time may not be as firm, and most experts do not recommend pursuing vacuum pump therapy long-term. The bright side is that your testicles and your penis are made of the same smooth muscle connective tissue- tunica. That is to say, if the length of the penis can be augmented through vacuum therapy, it stands to reason that the same could be said for the testicles.

Some supplements are marketed as testosterone boosters or "performance enhancers." The most common are horny goat weed, tongkat ali, maca root, and damiana. All are largely unsupported by research, but I will say that everywhere I go, there's a swath of men who claim their balls are bigger when they're taking damiana. There are also many who say it did nothing for them.

... And that's it. As far as actually having bigger testes, that's all that's out there. There are other methods that can create the ILLUSION of bigger balls, but most of them are very unsafe, risky, or unappealing to look at

Saline/Glucose injection. You're just filling up your sac like a water balloon. It's temporary, and your body is absorbing a lot of salt or sugar as a result. Self-administering an IV bag is stupid. There is a much smaller following for injecting saline directly into the testicles, but I've heard it's significantly more painful, and of course does not yield permanent results.

Silicone injections. EXTREMELY dangerous. Don't fucking do it, you WILL die. Plus they're ugly.

Hydrocel. Basically a pocket of fluid AROUND your testicle that forms as a result of trauma, ergo you have to apply blunt force to your nuts to form one, you have no control over HOW it forms (your testicle could look like a lumpy, malformed mess), a hydrocel may not form at all, and hydrocels can come with complications if they don't go away on their own.

Implants. Most doctors are sane and won't cut out a healthy, working testicle- not to mention any of the implant sizes offered likely won't meet your expectations. They do not behave the same way a real testicle would either- they're effectively stitched to the bottom of your sac. Pretty suboptimal.

Less to do with the testicles themselves, but if your balls are pretty high and tight, carefully STRETCHING your scrotum through manual exercises, weights, pumping, and other methods can make your balls LOOK bigger and more impressive by allowing them to hang more freely. Many people (myself included) also find the sensation of loose, low-swinging nuts very appealing.

Believe it or not, "Scrotox" is a thing. People can pay upwards of $500 for a painless, in-and-out procedure to have botox injected into their cremaster muscles, which are the muscles responsible for regulating the temperature of your balls by lifting or lowering them autonomously. Doing so paralyzes the muscles, allowing your balls to hang at their lowest natural point regardless of the temperature of the room. Ball stretching enthusiasts sometimes elect to get scrotox during the colder months so their cremaster muscles don't strain themselves fighting the ball stretching process even when the ambient temperature of the room is low.

That's basically it.

The ones I have the most faith/interest in are diet and exercise, Clomid, and vacuum pump therapy, and I'm already interested/invested in ball stretching.

Everything else seems like hokum.

As far as my own personal experiences go:

I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to exercise yet, so I'm already pretty far behind. My roommate and I are looking for a gym so we can start weight lifting though, and we try to walk around a lot. My diet is basically "whatever I can afford" but I do my best to balance it.

I stretch my balls when I can. I usually keep shea butter and cocoa butter on-hand to lubricate and moisturize, but I don't have my weights where I live right now. Wearing the weights is a very satisfying feeling, and lower-hanging balls look and feel wonderful. I'm excited to get back to it when I can reclaim my weights. In the meantime, I've only got my hands.

I tried Damiana on-and-off for a while, as it's a pretty accessible herb you can probably find at your local whole foods. I don't think it made my testicles feel larger or heavier, but it DID make my sac look and feel fuller, even when my balls were hanging at their lowest point. Less definition, but a bigger, fuller-looking sac. I'd probably try damiana again.

Unrelated to testicle size, a stack of Zinc, L-Arginine, and Soy Lecithin made me nut my brains out- they VERY drastically increased my seminal volume. It DID make my semen a bit thinner though, like there was a higher water content than usual, but adding wheat germ to my diet (usually just a couple tablespoons over yogurt or oatmeal in the morning) made my loads MUCH thicker than usual (bonus, it's good for your cholesterol). In addition to those, pygeum bark capsules made me precum SIGNIFICANTLY more, though it takes the better part of a week to start really working. Either way, whether semen or precum, all the supplements in the world won't do a thing if you're not well-hydrated throughout the day. Semen and precum production are considered very low-priority by your body, so if you're at all dehydrated, your body will allocate its water to more important processes instead. It's also worth noting that your body produces the vast majority of its semen DURING activity, so edging can also play a big part in how much and how hard you nut- the longer you last, the more impressive your load will be!

I didn't notice any negative side effects from any of these supps. L-Arginine can cause bloating and gout if you're too overzealous with it. If you notice any stomach discomfort or bowel movement problems, stop for a while, and dial it back when you resume. Zinc can cause stomach upset in excess, but it's hard to become toxic- I wouldn't do more than 30mg a day.

Besides that, when I can afford it and when I'm thinking about it, I usually enjoy a trail mix of raisins, raw pumpkin seeds, brazil nuts, and walnuts as a snack throughout the day. These all support testicular health. Raisins are rich in antioxidants. Pumpkin Seeds and the selenium from Brazil Nuts support testosterone production. Brazil nuts and walnuts also contain lots of fat, which your balls need to function- however, selenium can be toxic at high levels, so you should only consume 3-5 brazil nuts a day. I honestly don't know if it "worked," but it was a tasty trail mix and did ensure I was getting a lot of nutrients I can't be sure I was getting otherwise, sooo... Yeah.

Besides that, I'd say make sure you're getting enough iodine. Pretty much everyone is iodine-deficient, and iodine is important for maintaining thyroid health. You can get it from eggs, dairy, iodized salt, fish (especially salt water fish like tuna and salmon), and seaweed, among other things!

I think that's about it... I really wanna try some of these. I wanna work out, eat right, and lose weight, but I've got a motivation problem with ADHD and depression and don't have the money to treat either. I've never had both the money AND environment to try pumping, and I'm not sure how I'd go about getting a prescription for Clomid, but I'd really like to make it all happen someday, before I'm too old.

I really need money...

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