soapysoaps

[soapysoaps]

[soapysoaps]

Gays can’t drive but bisexuals are speed demons I’ll run ur ass off the road honey I️ got places to be

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Trying to fall asleep with Insomnia feels like missing an exit on a highway and not having a way off for 100 miles.

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Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself

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Me, the person with memory problems, perfectly aware I have issues with memory: I don’t need to write this down, I’ll remember it

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my ass w hearing problems: oh id love a sandwich from americas favorite sub sandwhich chain Subway ™ eat fresh ™

subway employee: whispering sweetly behind the 5 inch kevlar barrier between me and the sandwhich accessories

me, sweating: IM SORRY WH

[soapysoaps]

sometimes you just gotta indulge your inner 13yo and play online dress up games for 3 hours straight

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my teacher : if you didn’t understand , why didnt you come ask for help ?

me :

[soapysoaps]

things i used to laugh at

actual jokes

things i laugh at now

yard sard

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me: *gets hit by a car* sorry

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I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

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Someone: *treats me badly*

Me: *forgives them immediately*

Me 2 weeks later, eyes snapping open at 3 am: you know what?? I'm mad at you.

[soapysoaps]

me: struts down the street in my leather jacket, ripped jeans and ray-bans lookin fly af

me: is listening to the high school musical 2 soundtrack

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Ah yes, tomorrow is the time to remove the mystery cubes from beneath the festive cone and tell tales of a large red intruder

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Not going to lie there is not much I wouldn’t do for a burrito

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bisexual culture is being very specific with the men you’re interested but having absolutely no type when it comes to girls because they’re all so beautiful

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why tf do I get so emotional at night. who is this night bitch?? she needs to go to sleep.