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socialissueavenger-blog · 4 years

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I AM WOMAN!!!

For my second blog I decided to write about gender inequality and gender roles and how hard it is to be a working mother. I had my last child December 15,2018. I went back to work May 2019. I am a certified nursing assistant who works the night shift. A typical shift for me is from seven pm to seven thirty am. At the time I was breast feeding and pumping so my husband could feed our child while at work. Well this was his first child so he needed help so like any man would do he decided to get help from his mother. Who was born in the 1940s, so she is used to women staying home with the kids while the man works? So, she told him that I was a bad mother abandoning my newborn to work when I should just let him work. She also told him that I was trying to be the head of the household instead of letting him lead. (We are also Christians in our religion it is known that the man is the head of the household. He leads and the wife is supposed to follow). I politely let her know that this is 2019 in California, to survive you need two incomes. I am a good mother to my children. Just because I work to help my husband provide for my family does not mean that I am a bad mother. I am his help meet not help struggle and possibly get evicted. But since that conversation with his mom it has now been conflict because of me wanting to work when now he thinks I should stay home and take care of the kids.

I have attached a picture of my beautiful family.

According to feminist theory they believe that “women and men should have equal opportunities in economic, political, and social life”. I agree with them times have changed. There are countless opportunities for men and women so why can’t women work? Why is it 2020 and there is a problem with a mother working to provide for her children? My motto is simple “Hard work pays off”. I am the role model for my children especially my girls. If they see mommy not going to work and just cleaning up the house, they will be conditioned to think that is the norm. When that is not the norm. I want them to work hard so they know that they can have whatever they want if they work for it.

I have attached a picture of women from different races and ethnicities empowering one another.

“Traditional gender-role attitudes are closely linked to ideals about motherhood. Motherhood is presumed to be a primary identity for most adult women, and womanhood and motherhood are often treated as synonymous identities (for an overview, see Arendell, 2000). Moreover, the discourse about motherhood is often characterized by ideals labelled as intensive mothering (Liss et al., 2013). Intensive mothering posits that mothers accomplish parenting best because they possess an inherent skill in parenting. Fathers are typically considered as well intentioned, but less competent in parenting. Furthermore, intensive mothering defines motherhood as exclusive and wholly child-centered and portrays the good mother as being totally devoted to the care 3 VC 2018 International Association of Applied Psychology. 252 STEINER, KRINGS AND WIESE of her children, self-sacrificing, and with having no selfish needs” (Steiner, R. S., Krings, F., & Wiese, B. S. 2018) The problem is most elderly people are set in their ways. This is the case for my mother in law, hence why she feels it’s a huge problem with me working.

“The family-devotion schema assigns women, not men, the primary responsibility of childrearing and housework and holds them accountable. Women are to find fulfillment in the intimacy of ‘‘intensive motherhood’’—a child-centered, emotionally absorbing, and labor-intensive form of parenting (Hays, 1996)—and their devotion to family is expected to override all other commitments (Roth, 2006; Turco, 2010). Failure to do so may bring the sanction of being considered a bad mother (Blair-Loy, 2003).” I have attached evidence that shows that the gender role of being a mother falls upon the mother. The ironic thing about that is it takes two to make a baby. A father can make a baby but can’t help nurturing the baby is absolutely ridiculous. It is not right that we must be stressed thinking we aren’t good mothers when all we want to do is show our children that they can achieve their dreams.

I have attached a picture illustrating how mothers feel.

I have attached a video on gender role stereoptypes and a feminist test

https://youtu.be/Ulh0DnFUGsk

https://www.allthetests.com/quiz31/quiz/1413293600/Are-you-a-feminist

References:

Padavic, I., Ely, R. J., & Reid, E. M. (2019). Explaining the Persistence of Gender Inequality: The Work–family Narrative as a Social Defense against the 24/7 Work Culture. Administrative Science Quarterly, 65(1), 61–111. doi: 10.1177/0001839219832310

Steiner, R. S., Krings, F., & Wiese, B. S. (2018). Remember the Children, Honey! Spouses Gender-Role Attitudes and Working Mothers Work-to-Family Conflict. Applied Psychology, 68(2), 250–275. doi: 10.1111/apps.12160

University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing. (2015). Social problems: continuity and change. Minneapolis, MN.

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socialissueavenger-blog · 4 years

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Love is Blind

For my first blog I have decided to write about domestic violence with a focus on intimate partner violence. This June will mark four years since I got out of my very abusive relationship of four years. So, I thought this would make the perfect blog to bring awareness. I remember one time I will never forget. I thought I was definitely going to die. I just found out he had cheated on me yet again two weeks after having our second child together. I put it in my mind that I would kick him out and leave him. That night after we left his grandma’s house, I was following him back to the house and I sped off and left. I hid on a dim street for two hours and figured he probably would go back to his grandma’s house. When I got to my house, he wasn’t in sight I was so happy. I assumed he went back to his grandma’s house. Boy was I wrong. He came up behind me and said “I’m going to teach you to never try to leave me again. I’m going to kill you”. I remember crying and telling him to please leave me alone. I was holding my two-year-old daughter and two-week-old son in the car seat. He said, “once we get in the house, I’m going to kill you”. He pushed me in the house, and I laid our daughter in her bed and put my son’s car seat down. He immediately grabbed me by my neck and slammed me into the window and broke it. Then he slammed me on to the ground and started choking me and banging my head on the floor. I yelled for help and tried to get him off me, but he was too strong. I started to black out and prayed to God that he would keep my babies safe. That’s when my two-year-old woke up and yelled at him and started hitting him. He finally let me go. I ran to my phone to call the police and he went outside and broke it. Then proceeded to call his family and say that I bruised myself up and was going to lie and say he did it to me. His family responded by saying we know she’s lying we didn’t raise you to put your hands-on females.

I have attached a picture of my children and I at the time. They were my strength to finally walk away.

So many young people believe that pain is love. Whether it be you seeing your mom being abused, abusive relationships being praised on television, social media, etc. You see so many people being abused that it seems normal. “According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention one, in four women experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime”(Adams and Beeble 2019). A conflict theory’s perspective might say that “The family contributes to social inequality by reinforcing economic inequality and by reinforcing patriarchy. Family problems stem from economic inequality and from patriarchal ideology. The family can also be a source of conflict, including physical violence and emotional cruelty, for its own members”(Social Problems 2010).

I have attached a photo that shows the harsh statistics about intimate partner violence. Contrary to popular belief men also are victims in these type of situations.

It is time to speak up against domestic violence. You never know whose life you can save by just standing up against domestic violence. “Researchers consistently find a significant positive association between history of IPV and symptoms of depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, suicidal ideation, general psychological distress, and sleep disturbance”.

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I have attached a video that shows how abuse starts. You think it’s normal and okay. But it isn’t. It starts to consume you and you become depressed and are trying to escape but leaving seems close yet so far away.

Many people may think if you’re getting abused why not leave. People who are on the outside looking in have no idea how hard it is to walk away. “First, domestic violence is a leading cause of individual and family homelessness. Second, the struggle over rights to a shared home can increase the violence to which the woman is subjected. And third, a woman who decides to continue to live with the person who abused her receives little or no legal support, despite the evidence that this decision could most effectively reduce the violence.”. For some women they have no other family, or no income, no stability to make it without their partner.

I have attached links for support if you or someone you know is dealing with abuse. Do not be afraid to speak up and leave. There are so many people who stay and live and fear and some even die. Please call and you will get the help that you need.

https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/

https://ncadv.org/resources

https://youtu.be/yJ4Mn25G4Qc

References:

Adams, A. E., & Beeble, M. L. (2019). Intimate partner violence and psychological well-being: Examining the effect of economic abuse on women’s quality of life. Psychology of Violence, 9(5), 517–525. doi: 10.1037/vio0000174

Johnson, M. E. (2013). A Home with Dignity: Domestic Violence and Property Rights. SSRN Electronic Journal. doi: 10.2139/ssrn.2332089

Metz, C., Calmet, J., & Thevenot, A. (2019). Women subjected to domestic violence: The impossibility of separation. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 36(1), 36–43. doi: 10.1037/pap0000186

University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing. (2015). Social problems: continuity and change. Minneapolis, MN.

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