solar-plant-princess - Tumblr blog

solar-plant-princess · 3 hours

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posted this and then deleted it really quickly earlier. here she is again!! in all of her bothered-looking glory!!

if you wanna hear me ramble about her issues with marriage/commitment + a few other things i am about to do so right now!!!!!

"With her sharp smile and easy-going demeanor, Moxie's the type of woman that will drop everything to give you a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. She's a very touchy person, and it's really easy for her to grow comfortable around others. Physical affection is something that she values very deeply, and being able to feel the warmth of those around her brings her a sense reassurance. This eagerness to feel close to other beings is not exclusive to friendships in the slightest. Neon lights, shining stars, and quick flings make up most of her world. Romance has never been an easy thing for Moxie, and past events within her life that tore her down greatly make the possibility of a committed relationship sound hopeless to her. While she messes around quite often, it's common for her to keep her lovers emotionally closed off. Things can get pretty confusing for her in the event that she does catch feelings." (A snippet from her description page).

okay okay so... moxie is no stranger to promiscuity. she sleeps around a lot for the fun of it and holds casual sexual relationships with multiple people. though, despite how much action she gets in her current life, moxie has only ever been in one committed relationship.

when she was younger, the goat girl grew up in a loving, but strict household. her parents were very caring towards her and her siblings, but due to the city of hell's unmoderated nature, they found it important to keep a close eye on their children. they tried to limit the amount of outside influence that their little trip of goat kids had, and because of this, moxie didn't have as much freedom as most other children who grew up in the nightly realm. her parents were pretty firm with her when it came to things they deemed bad influences. they wanted her to stay on the right track and felt that if they weren't strict with the things she indulged in, she'd lose herself in the limelight of their bright, pleasure-focused city. moxie, who felt like she was missing out on the excitement that the world had to offer, naturally had a problem with this. despite her negative feelings about her family's parenting ways, moxie was alright. she was pretty moody in her teenage years, but nothing too bad happened.

up until the end of them, that is.

now, moxie's family had a pretty structured mindset when it came to running things. they weren't the only group of hell-dwellers who held this view and had another family close to them that shared it as well. it's reasonable, after all. don't want your offspring to focus on the wrong things in life, y'know? especially in such a poorly moderated realm, but anyways, back to that other family. while moxie's relatives were all goat-like demons, this family was on the more ferocious side. they all had wolf-like features and mostly straight, sharp horns.

while growing up, moxie came to know some of them pretty well. especially one boy, the eldest son of the family. i'm going to be so real with you right now i literally just named him like five seconds ago for this ramble but UM his name is name damian. so, moxie and damian. they're both the eldest children in their respective families, so they relate to each other in that regard pretty well. moxie is kind of indifferent about him when they first meet each other (they'd both be preteens), but after hanging out more, the two of them would grow close.

(this is him as an adult by the way. i just figured his design out yesterday)

moxie is pretty focused on school and academic stuff when she's young, so irritation due to lack of energy is usual for her. she gets kinda snappy at times because she's struck with a curse called "being teenage girl." damian finds her annoyed remarks towards him kind of amusing and further provokes her at times, but it usually ends in the two of them laughing it off together.

as a result of spending so much time together, their families take notice and are like "aww do you guys like each other ;)) aww," to which the two of them are like "EWWW no!!" but they do. they do like each other. moxie is pretty surprised by this because she doesn't really feel romantic attraction to other people often, but considering how close the two of them are, it sort of makes sense to her. the two of them start dating in the middle of their teen years.

i would be lying if i said the start of their relationship wasn't kickstarted by their families constantly annoying them about it though. in fact, this is something that kind of contributes to the end of their relationship.

after the two of them graduate and proceed to begin the rest of their lives, damian's family starts nagging him about tying the knot with moxie. he thinks about it for a little while and is like "yeahh we probably could." a little while after that, he plans a proposal date and goes over everything. him and moxie meet up in a public place to hang out, and damian gets on one knee and declares his wishes of marriage to her and all that jazz. moxie, who had no idea this was going to happen, gawks at him in shock. she says no and the two of them leave in an awkward silence, ignoring the sympathetic and nosy stares from onlookers around them.

the two of them go to moxie's place after the failed proposal, and she asks what in hell he was thinking. she tells him that the proposal was too sudden for her and that she feels like he's rushing into things. they literally just graduated, and moxie wants to live her life first. damian tells her that he understands and begrudgingly apologizes. does this do anything? no, not really, because after that, his family gets on his ass about it. the pressure that they give him about starting his own family and becoming a responsible man and all of that annoying stuff starts to seep into how he treats moxie in their relationship. moxie also deals with this sort of thing from her family, because knowing them, their relatives have probably been gossiping with one another about. they nag her about that cliché "when are you going to settle down and have kids >:(" stuff a lot, and hearing damian attempt to bring up the topic more and more does not help in the slightest.

moxie tries her best to be understanding about everything, but it's hard to do that when she hasn't even decided what she wants for herself yet. she doesn't understand why she has to rush into these things, and talking about it with her relatives always ends in her being lectured or spoken to condescendingly. a bit of time passes after damian's first proposal, and his family pushes him to try again. not wanting to disappoint them, he gives it another try. moxie's response is the same, but before she can begin to complain about everything again, damian holds her hand rather forcefully and asks why she's being so difficult about this. moxie stares at him in confused, baffled by his sudden attitude. she asks him what's up with all of this, and he begins to go on about everything his family has told him about moving on in this new path of life or whatever.

he kind of starts... guilt-tripping her?? he goes on about how hard this is for him and doesn't really acknowledge how everything is affecting her as well. he tells that he's been thinking about the direction their relationship is going, and that the things his family has told him have been starting to click in his mind. he feels like getting married early on and ensuring their reliance on each other would help with avoiding outside forces that threaten their bond, and he essentially just repeats over and over again about how this is probably the best option for the two of them.

staring up at the boy she's loved for most of her youth, moxie starts feeling guilty about how she's handled the subject. she takes his words to heart and wonders if she's really just been insensitive this whole time. after all, relationships require sacrifice. her eyes glance at everywhere but damian as she thinks to herself, letting her worriful thoughts take the reins of her mind. she finds it hard to say no to him. so, she intertwines their fingers and hesitantly says yes.

it's not long before the fateful day arrives. their friends and families are all ecstatic. moxie sits alone, staring at herself in her wedding gown. she's had mixed feelings about the whole thing, and these feelings haven't changed one bit. the ceremony is today and she's still worried about what her future holds. she bites her lip, attempting to hold back tears that threaten to spill. she tells herself that she's being dramatic about this, and that things will be okay. after all, she'll still live after everything's over.

she's not even sure why she's so upset, to be honest. moxie loves damian, and the natural step after dating for such a long time is to get married, right? she knew this was bound to happen some way or another. she loves him, so she's very conflicted about not wanting to do this. she shouldn't be sad. she shouldn't be sitting alone in the restroom, wiping her tears away as mascara streams down her face. she gets up and stares at herself in the mirror, puffy eyes and all. this isn't her. this isn't the girl she's stared at in the mirror all of these years. she furrows her brows in frustration, a sense of realization coming over her. she doesn't want to do this. it's too soon.

she goes over to wherever damian is and tells him she wants to talk. damian looks confused for a moment, but ultimately knows what the deal is. the two of them get into an argument about everything that's happening. she tells him how she feels about everything and that she no longer wants to pretend to be okay with it for the sake of their family's feelings. damian berates her for being so careless, asking how she could be alright with just throwing everything away like that, especially now. they continue yelling at each other, before moxie straight up just walks out without another word. she goes straight home and packs her things. she's done getting lectured about who or what she should be, and promptly runs away from home.

her family tries to reach out to her, but she ignores their calls. although she's technically an adult at this point in time, she literally just began adulthood, so everything that's being thrown at her right now just takes a huge toll on her mental health. her emotions kind of blur her vision and cause her to make rash decisions. she meets up with damian a while after that whole thing happens and ends up breaking things off with him (wow what a surprise) and he doesn't take this well at all. he gets really upset and ermmm let's just say they don't end on good terms!!!! moxie's family isn't too fond of her either. the whole wedding event was incredibly embarrassing to them, and they tell her not to return home anytime soon. they're ashamed of her actions and view her as selfish for doing what she's done. she still keeps in touch with her younger siblings, but who sympathize with her.

as moxie grows older and continues to live her life, she refrains from entering any romantic relationships. this isn't too bad, considering romance doesn't come easy to her, but she does miss the comfort and warmth of having someone to love. i think this feeling is how she starts getting into hookup culture and stuff like that. she desires affection and love, but the concept of being committed to someone scares her pretty badly after everything that's happened. she's terrified of growing close to someone and devoting herself to them, only for something like that to happen again.

her relationship with thalia is really confusing to her because of this. she loves thalia a lot, but it feels so hard to devote herself to her. the two of them act like a couple and do things that take their friendship to the next level, but neither of them really talk about it in fear of ruining what they have. moxie thinks that if the two of them talked about it, then she'd probably be expected to give up her lifestyle for a committed relationship. you can't have your cake and eat it too, as they say.

despite what moxie thinks, thalia would be okay with letting her do what she wants. she knows that moxie lives a different life from her, and all she really wants is to continue loving her. the thing that bothers thalia when it comes to their weird little situationship is the fact that moxie doesn't explicitly regard thalia as someone more than a friend that she sleeps with. having grown up in the heavenly realm, thalia was never really familiar with the concept of "friends with benefits" until her friendship with moxie turned into that. sex has always been something you do with someone you love to her, and the concept of doing it for fun with a stranger has always been pretty foreign to her. while she's still trying to wrap her mind around it all, she doesn't want to force moxie into doing anything she doesn't want to do.

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