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When you ask if it was good for her too …

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before my dnd session yesterday i googled "sexy evil wizard" in order to find an avatar to use during the game and this has been every tumblr ad i've seen on my dash for a solid 24 hours now

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Microdosing sissy hypno, to build up a resistance to it

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Arbok

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this is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen jesus fucking christ

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it's like they say in dune: "i must not jeff. jeff is the killer"

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awesome ‼️

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fellatio is such an awesome word. sounds like a pasta. but be careful! wouldnt want to order that at a restaurant ... lest some nasty little creature get ahold of that thang

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We all got that one vassal who's read a few too many warrior tales... Trying to get a little freaky with it on the down low... Won't shut up about his loyalty unto death... Saying shit like "my liege, I am your blade...." Bitch I sent you to guard my isolated holdings in the eastern provinces for a reason!!!!!!! #REBLOG!!!!!

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>at feminism conference

>first male speaker in event's 50 year history

>great and terrible honor

>nervous

>get on stage

>40,000 people staring at me in silence

>all girls

>nervous

>introduce myself

>silence

>shakily bring up first slide of PowerPoint

>"things that I think women like, based on listening to women for 30 years"

>silence

>could hear a pin drop

>somewhere in the crowd a gun is cocked

>deep breath

>next slide

>"Whip-Its"

>deafening silence

>oh god

>I'm done for

>it's so over

>suddenly

>a slow clap

>slow clap builds to a few dozen claps

>few dozen builds to hundreds

>thunderous applause from all 40,000 women

>"finally!" they say

>oh shit

>tenative confidence

>next slide

>"Video games"

>applause continues

>women are stomping their feet

>hooting

>hollering

>next slide

>"treats sometimes"

>cheering

>whistles

>crowd of women chanting

>next slide

>"end of presentation. thank you for listening"

>women applaud me off stage

>pass the upcoming presenter back stage

>is a woman who is going to do magic tricks with a lion

>"thanks for getting them warmed up rookie"

>oh fuck do women like magic tricks

>magician goes on stage

>the women fucking love the magic tricks with a lion

>every day I learn more about women

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the résumé. yet another contemptuous and despicable piece of work from the french

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Customer: SHOE FETISH DMV: SHOE FETISH Verdict: ACCEPTED