sorayeon

[sorayeon]

Im not perfect.

By any means. Infact im far from. But atleast im trying.

Hella hard.

But where do i draw the line?

When is enough, enough?

Soon. Very soon.

[sorayeon]

I don't know what went wrong but something did. Somewhere on the way I made a wrong turn. I lost myself between my life choices and struggling with mental health.

I lost my motivation, my driving force, my reason to live. I lost loving myself, my self-worth and appreciating my beauty. I lost my smile, my tears, my anger. I lost my trust in me, others and god.

I lost everything to this life in the name of her denial. I lost my life to her idea of me. I lost my mind because of all the things she said.

I'm tired. I just want to rest. I want to slow down, relax. I want to live. But the only life I can live makes me want to die. The correct way of living leaves no room for me. It is suffering.

So I'm trying to find myself by slowly abandoning everything that made me lose it. It is hard. It is painful. But it's the only way to let myself exist again without feeling like I sinned by being me.

[sorayeon]

me when feeling suspiciously relaxed: what responsibility have i forgotten

[sorayeon]

I’m ok. I’m gonna be ok. I’m gonna live a beautiful life and I’ll get to know beautiful people. I will create things of beauty and be surrounded by flowers. And I’ll love myself, and I’ll be soft, I’ll be kind. And I’ll be ok.

[sorayeon]

wow.. i just realised that i deserve like a lot of love

[sorayeon]

i’m ready to kiII myself

[sorayeon]

this post is for anyone who feels a little lost right now. maybe you don’t know what your path in life is yet. maybe you hate your job. maybe you’re still in school and you’ve changed your major three times. maybe you’re confused about what it is that you want. maybe you know exactly what you want but have no idea how to get it. 

you will figure it out. you are not dead yet. you are going to figure your shit out. i believe in you. 

[sorayeon]

자살하면 미안해..

[sorayeon]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[sorayeon]

181026

cr. shownu_leader

[sorayeon]

[sorayeon]

breathtaking…

[sorayeon]

저는 젊음이 그런 것 같아요. 당신은 누구보다 열정적이고 누구보다 게으른거요. 당신은 다른 누구보다 긍정적이지만 다른 누구보다 부정적이에요. "그렇게 많이 다치게 하지 마."라고 계속해서 생각해서는 안되요. 조금 다치더라도 괜찮아요. 넘어져도 괜찮아요.

I think youth is like that. You’re more intense than anyone else and you’re more idle than anyone else. You’re more positive than anyone else and you’re more negative than anyone else. You shouldn’t always think, “I mustn’t hurt that much.” It’s fine if you hurt a little. It’s fine if you fall.

[sorayeon]

난 더 이상 참을 수 없어...나 없이 모두가 행복해 보인다. 모두들 나를 미워하고 계속 화를 내라. 나는 죽어야 한다.

[sorayeon]

난 자살하고 싶어....

[sorayeon]

You are blooming. Please give yourself time.

[sorayeon]

Help me.

i haven't said anything about me having depression almost all the time is because i don't want my moots feel awkward with me & don't know how to react when they see me like this here (which is different to what they saw irl)

i don't want people to think that im like this because depression is the trend now

i said im happy because i "wanted to try" to be happy

if anyone remember i said this before

that ive decided to be happy