soulonoscopys

[soulonoscopys]

in the spirit of sam and cas doing weird experiments on sams body as their favorite girls night activity i CANNOT stop thinking about sam attempting to deal with his trauma surrounding getting possessed more times than any living human by asking castiel to possess him on purpose. like just lying side by side on sams bed like they do watching netflix and sam says “yes” and castiel possesses him but Doesn’t Do Anything. they just cohabitate inside sams body for a little bit and when sam says “that’s enough” cas immediately returns to his own body. just giving sam back the feeling of control. letting sam say “no, get out” and have it mean something. helping sam feel big enough to fill out his body on his own. It’s Coping

#ouch #flesh is a constant haunting

[soulonoscopys]

thinking about sam as a kid who was small and bullied and fought back against bigger children who used size to intimidate and harm. and sam as an adult who’s big and makes himself seem nonthreatening in his posture and stance. he rarely ever yells, he speaks gently, he rarely if ever touches women first. in fallen idols he sits beside the upset witness immediately to speak to her softly while dean stands over her. he puts himself on her eye level so he doesn’t look like a threat. growing up and gaining a physical power that was used against you as a small kid who was friends with the bullied. and choosing not to use it unless it’s to protect.

#interesting #sammy

[soulonoscopys]

ivan the terrible and his son ivan, ilya repin // all hell breaks loose, pt.1 (insp: @marymotherof)

#kills me every time 😭 #sell my soul for you

[soulonoscopys]

not me thinking about how lucifer brought sam back to life as a "gift" to jack the same way amara brought mary back to life as a gift to dean.....

#family is hell #i have a devil on my shoulder

[soulonoscopys]

new scale

#ahhh this should be in every bio #i wanna say i’m a 3 #but i think i’m more of a 2.9 #sam stan and dean stan #but predominantly leaning more towards sam #like i will defend this boy to death #defend dean too ofc but there are some criticisms where i’m like ‘fair enough’

[soulonoscopys]

that defines you as company property

#that waivers your say in autonomy #🥲🥲 #spn edit

[soulonoscopys]

To be honest this is the part of the episode that makes ME feel insane.

#insaaaane indeed #ahhh bby #i have a devil on my shoulder

[soulonoscopys]

aesthetically pleasing supernatural caps. 1/05

#spn aesthetic

[soulonoscopys]

“Home” x Everything Under.

#family is hell #family is home

[soulonoscopys]

did u guys know that nothing is worth losing sam winchester like its literally canon castiel an angel of the lord said so himself

[soulonoscopys]

Dean Winchester in SUPERNATURAL 1.21 ‘Salvation’

#distressed baby #deanie

[soulonoscopys]

sometimes i feel so samcoded. feeling alienated in one’s experience in life, both with strangers and loved ones. wondering what it means to be good, wondering how to break out of the cycle of abuse and trauma. wondering how to be good. trying so hard to be good, trying so hard to do good, but failing in every way. the feeling of darkness tainting your body and the urge to go for a run, to wake up early, to not loose time, to have control over your life and your body. knowing that though the self never received compassion, you have to be the one to give compassion, to others and to yourself. teaching yourself that others are not necessarily right about you, and what you do shapes who you are. that the actions you do matter.

#thinking about sam today okay #he’s such a personal character #like i get him #monologue

[soulonoscopys]

#sammy #🥺

[soulonoscopys]

augh

#omgg #spn scripts #dean and mary

[soulonoscopys]

follow the blood / back to its body / trace the red dirt with your finger / you’ll find what you’re looking for / you’ll find someone else / got there first      — brandon melendez, “line/age”

            ⋙ for @chitaquadean​, happy birthday marlo! ❤️

#daddy’s blunt instrument

[soulonoscopys]

OBSESSED with this scene like Sam is like I have a sense of self. It is in these powers we both share. It isn’t connected to Lucifer. Like Sam, who’s psychic abilities did in some ways link him to Lucifer and who’s sense of identity has been marked by being Lucifer’s vessel, is saying here no, I am not the devil. I am psychic and that doesn’t make me him at all. It just made me who I am. I think this is the least depersonalised Sam has been in years.

#i have a devil on my shoulder #12x04 american nightmare #s12

[soulonoscopys]

in Regarding Dean when Dean talks to himself in the mirror and tries to recall important facts about his life, he doesn’t say like, oh I was born in Kansas, I’m a hunter, I’m 30 something years old, etc. Instead he just starts listing off all the people he loves

#dean and attachment