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stepping back from social media for the time being, probably at least until this current year of uni is finished or my degree is done. i've noticed a considerable decline in my mental health lately as a result of tumblr and twitter, and it's not something i can afford while also trying to juggle university, job hunting and some personal projects. if we've talked before or we're mutuals or whatever and you wanna talk, dm me and i'll give you my discord.

#this is also gonna be posted on my main acc

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I'm so tired of seeing transmasc's suffering downplayed

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Saw a post that said "tme and cis people" when I've seen the argument that "tme includes cis people!" over and over. Really just showing their whole ass and that what they really mean by tme is just "afab trans person I think isn't oppressed".

Use whatever language you'd like to describe your own experiences. But stop making your distaste for other members of your community so obvious.

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So uh…I know that today is Trans Day of Visibility and this website’s mods are pretty horrible to trans women but…

Over on Insta and TikTok, Mercury Stardust (also known as The Trans Handy Ma’am) has been trying to raise money for trans kids. Her account has been flagged by trolls and banned 11 times. Shes not giving up, but she could use some support. Please please go check out her accounts and consider donating to the 501c charity she’s supporting. Our trans siblings need us right now.

Link to her insta, since her tiktok is currently banned again: https://www.instagram.com/mercurystardusttopz?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

She does all types of helpful DIY videos for home repair and helps answer questions for renters. Please give her a follow. Send her a nice message. Please let our trans community members know we see them and love them—today and everyday.

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it doesn’t suit you well anyways.

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No they're right actually and they should say it.

The lefts descent into obsession with identity politics means all these boys get from these spaces is essentially being told they're inherently monstrous or will grow up to be so.

12 year old boys are not evil. They're children. And they're susceptible to manipulation from these fucks on the right who have sadly correctly identified that large swathes of the left will ignore and shun them. People turn to extremist factions when they feel ignored and dehumanised.

A 12 year old boy online isn't going to be able to read the nuances in your uber ironic but not really actually ironic "all white men are inherently trash" hot takes. They're going to take that at face value because they're 12 and that's what 12 year olds do. And they're going to feel angry, rejected and judged by your words. And then fucks like Andrew Tate get to swoop in and tell them that you're wrong and start the ball rolling on that indoctrination.

If you're an adult leftist and you honestly think teenage boys possess the wherewithal to purposefully follow dangerous Misogynists like Andrew Tate in order to "preserve their own privilege long term" then I'm sorry to say you're too far gone and I'd suggest logging off and actually trying to have a conversation with a kid who is vulnerable to the grooming of these uber misogynists and treat them as a human being instead of a reflection of an identity you've boxed them into.

You may tick more diversity boxes but you are still the adult. Start acting like it.

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"it's easy for trans men to pass, every trans man i know passes super easily"

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Please love transmascs in a world that hates us. I’m begging you not to blindly adhere to the narrative that insists we have it easy.

We experience the highest sexual violence rates of any gender category. We are being assaulted and killed. Dominant narratives consider us delusional, mentally ill little girls. Others treat us as violent sexual predators. Our reproductive abilities are considered unnatural and disgusting. We experience adverse health outcomes. We are left out of conversations and erased from histories.

We also experience the increased bullying, discrimination, suicidality, substance use issues, homelessness, poverty, etc. that come with being transgender.

Please love transmascs in a world that hates us.

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People like the ones saying the current forcemasc and autoandrophilia kink stuff is transmisogynistic are probably the same people who would tell me I can’t call myself a transvestite or crossdresser and tell me I’ve never been hurt by those concepts (lets just ignore that my fathers reaction to me coming out as a trans man was to call me a crossdressing dyke)

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The bioessentialism in trans subreddits is absolutely wild sometimes. "Estrogen will change your brain into a woman's brain whether you like it or not" is such a ridiculous thing to say?? And the nonbinary/agender/etc erasure fucking sucks

#oh this is where some of the forcefem people get it from #i see

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Imagine hating transmascs so much you make it our own fault bigots target us.

I do want to talk about this idea of "If nazis target you, you should reflect and see why" that they literally used in their own shit. That is literal fascism apologism.

If you applied this logic to any other group, you'll see how bullshit of an argument it is. "Maybe the jewish people killed by nazis deserved it for their communities being easy to speak over and abuse" type of rhetoric. It sees the fact that fascists want to divide and conquer us as the fault of ourselves and not a tactic of bigotry.

Do you want to know what can actually be done when a group is being exploited to support them?

Solidarity from other groups. Listening to each other about the individual struggles we face. Warning people about dogwhistles, rhetoric, and the tactics of bigotry. Providing support to each other across identity lines with the understanding that our experiences are not the same but do not invalidate each other.

Not blaming us for it happening to us or making it out that transandrophobia is a special target of bigots and therefore their "In" to our spaces as if people are at fault for their own oppression. If bigots are targeting specific groups, they see them as a weak link because of the lack of support from peer groups, not because of anything wrong with the group. That's a sign those groups need more support and to be listened to and taken seriously.

OP of that blocked me, and the fake concern for my "headspace" because I called them out is also ableist as shit. Bigotry never comes alone and always comes in at least a pair.

Edit: Adding this because OP will probably try to delete and hide it all.

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there’s something about how transphobes respond to transmascs discussing our oppression with “you women are so delusional omg shut up��� and then when we turn to the rest of the trans community to discuss our oppression they respond with “you transmascs are so delusional omg shut up”

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Something I've been trying to articulate to myself for a while here, but I wish there were more discussion about the particular experiences of trans men who are attracted to men. Especially the way that it relates to our experiences before coming out and during transition.

A lot of the conversations I see online and in academia focus on the experiences and overlap between trans men and butch lesbians, which is just not a narrative that resonates with me. There has been no point in my life at which I identified as a lesbian, or even as particularly attracted to women in general (something something sexuality is complicated). And it is only recently that I've really been able to let myself jive with being a butch man.

So, what did that experience look like for me?

It looked like trying desperately to perform the right kind of femininity so that straight guys would be attracted to me. Admittedly, it was a "not like other girls" sort of femininity, but I suspect a lot of trans guys and straight women will understand me when I say that this particular kind of femininity is still... very constricting. You gotta be "tough" of course, and have the right sorts of interests, and not care too much about your looks, but at the end of the day still be pretty, not too loud, and pretty willing to give ground for straight men to feel cool. You absolutely cannot be butch, because butch is for lesbians, and you want to be attractive to men.

And then I came out, and now I was a man, so I was free of all of that, right? Right?

Well, turns out there's a whole lot to unpack and unlearn there, and doing that takes a long time. For the first several years of my transition, I was still stuck in this mindset of needing to adhere to all the same constraints I had been under before. The guy I was dating at the time didn't help with this, and I almost said that's another story, but it isn't. The fact that I was willing to keep dating a guy who wanted me to stay pretty and feminine, who told me that body hair was gross, and who in a thousand other little ways made it very clear that I would only stay lovable if I stayed feminine... the fact that I was ok with that, it says a lot about where my mind was at.

I'm sure that a lot of lesbians can relate to some of this, and yet. Becoming who I am, genuinely relaxing into myself and unfolding in the way that I needed to, that process was undeniably and indelibly marked by my experiences as someone who has always been attracted to and wanted to attract men.

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I just think we gotta stop talking about advocacy for trans men in terms of "oh it can actually help trans femmes too!" Like we're hiding a pill in a ball of peanut butter to feed to a sick dog.

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I really fucking hate this culture in trans spaces of transmascs and AFAB nonbinary people having to just put up with "jokes" made at our expense, no matter how intentionally cruel they are. Cis people and transfems get the pass to make up whatever stereotypes they want about us and call us nasty things and we aren't allowed to be offended because we "have it easier" or whatever. For crying out loud it's not controversial to say that trans people, INCLUDING TRANS MEN, do not have privilege over cis people. Transmascs are being put lower on the totem pole than cis women. This is just devolving into TERF rhetoric. Can we just be fucking nice to each other and get over the oppression Olympics and lateral aggression? It's exhausting and you are lashing out at the wrong people. I cannot go five minutes online without seeing someone say something nasty about their fellow transgenders. Especially seeing this after an AFAB nonbinary child was murdered by cis girls is beyond cruel.

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I hear a lot of talk about two spirit people, which is wonderful, but I thought as an australian I should mention brother boys and sister girls.

I am not a First Nations person, and don’t know a lot about these cultural identities but I’ve never even heard them mentioned in online queer spaces other than on one australian queer self help webchat.

Brother boys are Indigenous trans men, and Sister girls are Indigenous trans women. (I’m pretty sure at least) I think that there is a connection to country that links with these identities, but again I am not a First Nation’s person, and I don’t know any Brother boys or Sister girls personally so I can not say I know this for sure.

I’d love to learn more about these identities if anyone would like to share, and I really hope I have not misrepresented anything in what I have said and if I have I apologise and please say so. :)

ok but this article was really interesting. i hadnt read up on aboriginal queer history and culture yet but this is really interesting, thank you so much for prompting me to look into this!

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I kinda just stopped watching videos by trans essayists. Nothing against them personally but there's just so much casual transandrophobia that gets slipped in probably without their knowledge, but it's hard to watch. Jesse gender from her barbie video, she says something that basically implies that somehow trans men are like the common transgender. That he gets praised and benefited from his masculinity in a way that trans women do not benefit from their femininity.

I just wish trans people would stop making sweeping generalizations about all other trans people solely based out of their own experiences.

The video was about white feminism and the lack of Barbies intersectionality but then just ignored the intersectionality of trans men.