soupydreams2

[soupydreams2]

dave meets the queen

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Ive been wanting to message you so bad idk why. I dont want to be friends because i know ill just be miserable again. But i just want to be acquaintances i think. Youre fine in small doses. I miss the childhood us mostly. The ones that are dead.

I miss when we would hang out silently in a room, then suddenly you thought that was awkward.

I miss the dumb nights watching cartoons and cosplaying.

I miss making elaborate kiseki theories.

I miss being a kid mostly i think. I miss when you were honest.

#can tom just quit or something so i am not forced to think about yall

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I have the kind of brain disease where my reaction to shrooms is “I have an idea for a Garfield comic”

#youve been on my mind again

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I miss you

I hate working with tom.

I hate missing tom and you and megan and daryan and kody and emily.

I hate that i was outcasted because of you.

I hate that you probably told them that i looked at your messages for no reason. You probably omit the part where you were drunk telling me you hate me telling me not to look at you and toms messages because you talk shit about me.

You would have done the same in my position.

Fuck man.

Why do i still miss you. Its been a pathetic 2 ish years.

If i didnt work next to tom every day, and tom didnt bring you up nearly every day, maybe itd be easier to move on.

God i wish he would quit or something.

I cant stand this jesus christ.

#i blocked you and changed the username so if you actually do read this then you out in effort to find it asshole

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Legitimately why are you still such a sore topic. Its been like... Over a year.

And whats worse is that youre not even a bad person. You did shitty things but like... Minimal compared to the good you do.

I try not to think of you. I see youre thriving you look great. I hope youre still doing acting youre really good at that.

I miss you. I never want to see you again.

Im pathetic.

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I fucking hate how much i still miss you

That im happy for you you look healthy

You look good

Youre probably happy

Fuck

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i want to message you but im not. so im going to make another cringe ass post here.

im sorry for being a shitty friend. really you put up with a lot. and god when i figured it out it was too late. i appricate you trying for a year. i know that the bad taste rose left in your mouth didnt go away when you realized what *actually* happened, cause how could it? you saw me in a different light that you couldnt just switch back. you tried. looking back i see how hard you tried. i could tell you felt guilty. that you felt it wasnt deserved. but wasnt it? i had to be so mature as a kid. homeless on my own. unhealthy attachments were all i knew. its what kept me going. and as an adult it took me a while to get rid of those.

and i noticed the shift immedately. im not dumb. and it made me panic. i was scared that *this* would happen.

i still cringe at the tough of you following my vensta. i really didnt know you did but that sounds like a lie. god how embarassing. and ofc it was written like i was romantically in love with you. when i know im not and never really have been. when we "dated" it felt wrong to kiss you or anything else besides holding hands. either you saw that or youalso were in the same boat. but i knew that i wanted to always be your friend.

you were shitty to me too yeah. and who isnt sometimes. i feel like ive already gotten over what you did but i still miss *you* as a friend. isnt that dumb. isnt that what you hated me for? forgiving people who hurt me? anyways.

all my friends now are cool i guess. i still have a lot of fun with tom at work. he like. actually genuinely likes me i think? or it might just be hes literally forced to interact with me on a daily basis. poor guy. we all know how much of a grudge he can hold and hes forced to stay with me. hey at least it isnt void. i do try to respect his personal space and keep distant. id hate me too if i were you guys.

OH i wanted to bring up the time i said i was jealous of "tom", and said i was really jealous of how you spend time with others in ways you dont with me anymore. remember that? and you sneered and equated me to void? WELL look at what was actually going on. weather you were doing it on purpose or not. you were avoiding me and annoyed by me and didnt want to hang out. but when id bring this up youd say its *my fault* for not putting in the effort when i was. and that you were "going through a rough patch and needed space" so i GAVE YOU SPACE. and then seeing you hang with tom. it made me confused. you needed space but swore it wasnt from me. of course i saw that and was upset. i just hope you realize that.

but everything together does make me sound like a creep on the other side. writing weird psuedo romantic vents abt you and saying i was jealous of tom out of context is making cringe to this day when i think of it.

anyways. i hope youre okay. i hear about you from tom sometimes, and while it feels like ive been stabbed. im glad youre okay. im glad youre happy.

im sorry.

#cryin at the end kf this #STOP BEING SAD #god damnit

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god this is pathetic.

yesterday tom brought you up in conversation and you felt like a stranger. and i thought *finally* i was over you and what happened.

but of course i had a dream last night. we were sitting at a table and you laid your head on my shoulder. i shook you off and stood up like "what the fuck" and you apologized.

it made me wake up lmao. and it made me realize that i wish it wasnt a dream. i wish you actually dkd that cause that means maybe you missed me as a friend. and that im not over what happened. and id forgive you so fast if you took the first step, no matter how small.

again, this is pathetic.

#the fact i still have this blog #that i changed its name so you couldnt find it but i could still keep it #what am i doing #its been a year #why do i misd you so much #why am i so annoying #why am i such a fucking creep

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You ever just realized how lucky you are that you did that weird thing that led to you being friends with the people you are friends with?

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#that littlest pet shop bit #:-/ :-(

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The pussie is SO GOOD but it kinda smells like pine saul idk what to tell her

ur fucking mrs. clean?

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Cute girl at a bar: Hey, what’s up? Me:

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sorry i cant hang out today. yeah im simmering onions. low and slow you know how it is

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i love how defensive the last part is, the greenland shark wrote that

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X

#THESE ARE SO CUTE

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this is the money garf. reblog for untold pasta and riches to come your way