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For the AU meme, if you're still taking requests: Han Solo, accidental Jedi knight

oops accidental bonus headcanons because JEDI KNIGHT HAN SOLO, oooooops oh well too late now! 

“It’s LUCK, kid,” Han scoffs dismissively, then proceeds to grab up the lightsaber himself and turn on the training droid, then close his eyes and nail every single bolt before knocking the thing right out of the air. “Also, see that, you don’t even NEED the Force to do that.” “… perhaps, but that was the Force you just did that with,” Obi-Wan replies slowly. “What,” Han says. 

It was definitely the Force. “I AM NOT A JEDI,” Han Solo yells as he is dragged kicking and screaming into Jedi training by the power of Luke’s excitement at not being the only one suffering the indignity of getting hit in the ass by randomized droid blaster-shots, literally just that. Also Obi-Wan tells him he might be able to shave half a parsec off the Kessel Run, if he hones his Force-sense finely enough, which, well, FINE then. BUT ONLY FOR THE KESSEL RUN. 

“I have a bad feeling about this.” 

“I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.”

“DID I MENTION THE BAD FEELING THAT I HAVE ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT IS AN INCREASINGLY BAD FEELING.” 

Leia is so appalled by the state of the Jedi in this galaxy. “Sorry, sweetheart, we can’t all be bright-eyed little beacons of galactic hope,” Han says, smashing a Stormtrooper over the head with his lightsaber hilt. The blade is blue but NO ONE WOULD FUCKING KNOW, CONSIDERING HOW RARELY HE USES THE DAMN THING. Generally speaking Jedi Knight Han Solo uses his lightsaber as A) a laser cutter and B) a blunt instrument. Obi-Wan is dead and he is STILL going to die of shame on behalf of the Order. 

“WHY ARE WE ON THIS HELLISH SWAMP PLANET AND HOW DO WE GET OFF IT YESTERDAY.” 

The amount of gimer-stick whaps that Han Solo suffers has not been seen in the galaxy since Yan Dooku was a snotty little baby padawan who couldn’t be assed to pay attention to anything not saberplay for more than fifteen seconds at a time. 

Lando takes one look at Han Solo holding a lightsaber and laughs for TEN THOUSAND YEARS. Chewbacca is like THANK YOU, AT LAST SOMEONE ELSE SEES THE FUCKING HILARITY OF THIS SITUATION, THANK YOU, CALRISSIAN. 

“Dark Side my fine Corellian ASS, I’ll show you the fucking DARK SIDE, YOU PIECE OF BANTHA SHIT, LET ME AT HIM–” 

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for the head canon thing, just happy Obi-Wan. please?

OKAY THEN WELL WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO BE IN THIS ONE FOR THE LONG HAUL, AREN’T WE, KIDS. *cracks knuckles and makes a cut*

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favorite clone wars characters: hondo ohnaka and that piece of hair that falls in obi-wan’s face when someone’s beating the shit out of him

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So here’s a thing - want all of my @swdomesticverse fic pieces in one place? Well, now there’s two ways to collect it.

FIRST, here’s a link-list of everything I’ve written in the order in which I wrote it:

Anakin’s dinner party (“Wait, our brothers are dating?”)

‘All of Me’ CodyWan songfic (sort of, not actually a songfic I promise)

Uniform kink? Don’t mind if I do (CodyWan)

The Parade of Exes (CodyWan)

Weekend Getaway (Codywan)

Dad!Rex adopts Tup and cries over CodyWan (you know he did)

Firsts (CodyWan)

And SECOND (this is new), here’s an online doc into which I have put everything I’ve written in chronological order as it happens in the ‘verse (or at least, as close as I could get to being accurate with everything). It worked out almost miraculously well - there are only a couple of spots in which I felt I had to chop up and move certain paragraphs where my time-jumping was too tight. It is also vaguely amusing to see links emerge that I didn’t plan on purpose and to realize that I start and end absolutely everything I write with the same damn techniques. You can download the file as a PDF for easier viewing/reading. Enjoy!

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poem credit

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you will be the reason - commission

ahhh, I finally finished the commission for the lovely @drawntothestars.

Request prompt: Codex date night on Coruscant. (It actually runs into the next morning too, but w/e).

Note: Trapper and Longshot are canon 212th clones.

Mando’a/slang used:

Cyare beloved

Cyar’ika sweetheart

riduur (partner, spouse)

Vor entye (thank you, lit: I accept a debt)

Liberty - Slang for leave time (United States Navy uses this, but if other branches of military do, I don’t know.)

Su cuy’gar (Hello - lit: you’re still alive)

Rex had spent a few hours of shore leave on the ship, preferring to sleep in peace as his brothers ran about to explore Coruscant. It was rare for them to get liberty, since the war seemed to be never ending, but they had managed to get at least three days of leave. He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but part of him did wonder why. Regardless, he had leave and he planned on hitting a bar and maybe getting drunk a bit if he can find Fives.

He was halfway to 79’s when a familiar face popped up, and not just because it was another clone.

“Cody?” There was a hint of hope and excitement in his voice, and when the other clone turned from talking to Waxer, the commander perked up.

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for the "give me an AU and I'll give you 5 headcanons" meme, I'd love to see your take on an AU where Shmi leaves Tatooine with Anakin, Qui-Gon et al and gets recruited into the Jedi Order similar to that awesome fic you recced.

“No,” Shmi says. “Sweet FORCE, no.” “But Mooommmmm, you said people have to help each other!” Anakin protests. Shmi twitches. She loves Anakin more than her own damn life, BUT THIS IS WHY SHE TRIED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN, OKAY?? The little bastards will pull receipts on you until you FUCKING DIE. “Ani, if they already think you might be too old for Master Jinn to train, I’m MUCH too old to be trained. I’m already forty, you know,” she tries valiantly, because never let it be said that Shmi Skywalker is a fucking quitter. “Well, Master Jinn is only sixty, he’s still quite a young thing himself,” Plo Koon says. “But I, for example, am three hundred and eighty-two standard, and the Grandmaster is eight hundred and sixty-four.” Shmi stares at him. And staaaares at him. “I would of course be honored,” he adds mildly. 

Shmi. STARES. 

Plo Koon goes to Naboo with his new padawan who is following her kid, of course, and conveniently does NOT get separated from Qui-Gon in all the fuss with Maul. Shmi is too busy freaking out about Anakin being in a ship overhead and helping Sabé smash droids to be involved with any of that, but the Jedi come back rather scraped-up and dragging Maul’s body and getting blood everywhere, which, sweet FORCE, is this a normal Jedi thing? WHO DO THEY THINK IS GOING TO CLEAN ALL THIS UP?? 

Plo Koon is politely mystified as to how he ends up scrubbing Sith blood off the floor with his new apprentice when they should be going with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to make sure everything went well with the Trade Federation, but apparently that’s what he’s doing, apparently that’s what you get for KILLING a Sith. At least according to his new apprentice, anyway. It’s sort of adorable. 

Padawan Skywalker and Padawan Skywalker make for a Very Interesting Sight wandering around together back in the temple and hanging out more with each other than either of their masters. “You know attachment is discouraged–” some well-meaning fellow padawan tries to warn them, and Shmi STAAAAARES. “… nevermind.” 

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Hi!!!! Could you please give me the link for So Don't, Then? I miss reading it and I miss your writing! Love you!

Aaah you’re so kind!! I’m on mobile so excuse the URLhttp://archiveofourown.org/works/6235573

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Okay but

imagine the Jedi finding like, holonet fansites about them.

People who freak out and take pictures whenever they see a jedi

people who have whole worlds of wildly inaccurate headcanons about Jedi and certain Jedi whose pictures of various everyday heroics have become holonet memes

people who make plastoid lightsaber props 

in the clone wars, whole fansites and blogs dedicated solely to Kenobi and Skywalker

Obi-Wan finds them and is scandalized

Anakin finds them and has the time of his life - he actual starts his own blog anonymously, which he updates with really good photos and funny, OOC posts about himself and Obi-Wan  (((but liek how does he get those photos???/?? like kriff’s sake NO one KNEOWS))) 

Master Yoda follows this blog religiously

Literally everyone in the Temple knows about Anakin’s blog except for Obi-Wan

Mace Windu trolls all of the comments section. The kicker? He does so as himself, but no one believes him, everyone thinks he’s a fan that somehow got the username TheRealMaceWindu

Palpatine follows Anakin’s blog, but does not know that it is anakin. He thinks it is some very distractible, annoying fanboy.

When the generals aren’t watching, the clones pick up all the dime store novels based on the Jedi and snigger to themselves in the barracks at the ridiculous sterotypes and misrepresentations - especially when Kenobi is made into a middle-aged heart throb.

Eventually, Anakin grows lax with his anonymity and starts his own blog as himself - it becomes one of the most popular blogs in the republic within a matter of weeks.

He posts a lot about Obi-Wan, only because he knows he will hate it. Obi-Wan’s consistent death glares at the camera have inspired their own meme.

Ahsoka once hacked Anakin’s blog and posted pictures of him making weird faces

just like

Awkward funny Jedi online shenanigans 

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harry styles as jar jar binks

you’re lying if you don’t see it

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Good times.

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Sorry NOT sorry for a dumb ‘WHAT IF’ scenario entitled “The Entire Battalion Knew, Sir.”

BONUS PANELS UNDER CUT:

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Reblog this and put your favorite fanfiction authors in the tags

it’ll spread the love and give us new writers to look up

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[insp]

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Luke Skywalker + Padmé Amidala

parallels

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It’s against my programming to impersonate a deity.