sportsrelationships123

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Thank You!

In conclusion pro athletes face the same problems we face everyday. They suffer from toxic relationships just like we do, and even million dollar athletes need advice. Throughout our blog we showed how interpersonal communication and professional sports have a lot in common, and we hope you guys learned a lot. What we really want you guys to take out of this blog is how human these athletes are and everyone needs advice no matter how rich or strong you are. We need interpersonal communication because it shows the way we communicate in our relationships. It describes the relationships between 2 or more people and how we get through them. In sports, the way we meet people and break up with people are the same as we would do in a romantic relationship. Every player has their own different staircase model with teammates and coaches. They all start out with meeting your new teammate or coach and then you increase your relationship to the top tier. One mistake can cause you to go on the descent though so make sure you don’t do that.  Every team has issues, especially when your on the road a lot. Teams can’t perform to the best of their ability if there is conflict. Coaches and players need conflict management/ conflict resolution just like we do in our own personal relationships. Working together to solve problems are much more effective than trying to solve them on your on. This might sound cliche, but there is no I in team! Making sure your team is happy and healthy is a great example of relational maintenance. After a big loss, making sure your team keeps their heads held high, and stays positive is a great way to maintain not only a strong team, but a healthy relationship. Players and teams face uncertainty all the time. For example, when the 0-12 jets play the 12-0 patriots it is normal for coaches and players to have a lack of confidence. This is an example of relational uncertainty. Not having full confidence in your romantic partner or team has a negative effect on not just you but the people around you. Having a strong team and healthy team will lead to more wins will cause you to enjoy the sport more. If you have an unhealthy and very short tempered team, you will not be successful because you will be more worried about fighting each other then focussing on winning. I'd like to say thank you guys for reading our blogs. Hope you guys learned a lot!

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How sport break ups and relational break ups are the same thing

Hurtful communication is saying or doing something that hurts someone's feelings. The closer you are to someone, the more of what they say can hurt you. For example, someone could say that Josh Allen is the worst quarterback in the league. However, if his family/coaches/peers said this it would be way more hurtful.  Saying things to hurt people that you are in a relationship with will make your relationship decline. Hurtful messages are also bad for business relationships. Antonio Brown played for the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2018. He was saying and tweeting negative things about their quarterback and team. For saying these things, and for being a distraction to the team, the Steelers traded the all-pro wide receiver to the Oakland Raiders.  Antonio continued to be a distraction and use hurtful communication to his new coaches and teammates. For example, Brown called the Raiders General Manager Mike Mayock a “cracker”.  This is one of the reasons he was cut from the team.

Hurting someone could lead to a break up. Let's say you hurt someone who is on your team. This could lead to directly breaking up with them or indirectly breaking up with them. This could lead you to leaving the team or getting kicked off. The break could be unilateral or bilateral. Unilateral is when one person initiates the break up but Bi lateral is when both people initiates the break up. Let's say the coach kicks you off the team, that is unilateral because you have no say. But let's say you would want to quit the team. You can't officially be off the team unless the coach agrees. For example Antonio Brown wanted to be traded from the Pittsburgh Steelers and the management agreed to trade him so that is considered Bilateral. But let's talk about Demar Derozen who wanted to stay on the Toronto Raptors his whole career, he was forced to move to San Antonio because he got traded.

Breakups happen to everyone, and although it can suck a lot there is no reason to shut down and stop being yourself. It is okay to cry and get emotional. Make sure you surround yourself with people everyday and keep yourself busy. It is not always a good idea to get back into something quickly. While rebounding is a good thing in basketball, it is not something you want to do to another person. It is negative for both you and the person you rebound with. You are basically using them to forget about your ex. In 2013, star wide receiver Chad Johnson was cut by the Miami Dolphins. It was videoed for the TV show “Hardknocks”, in this video Chad is visibly upset and begins crying because the game is his life and everything. For many people, their significant other is their everything so they act the same as Chad Johsnon in the interview.  

Relational Transgression is very common among the professional sports world. Relational transgressions occur when people violate implicit or explicit relational rules. Three types of Relational Transgressions are Deception, Infidelity, and Jealousy. For example, Draymond Green who plays power forward for the Golden State Warriors was drafted by the warriors in 2012. He has gotten very comfortable with his role with the warriors and felt very confident with his playing time. All of a sudden Kevin Durant gets traded from the Oklahoma Thunder and Draymonds playing time dropped. Kevin became the star and this caused some Relational Transgressions. Draymond got very jealous of how much the fans and coaches loved kevin and it clearly showed on the court. They would get into arguments on the court and in the locker room. This ruined the team's chemistry. Draymond after awhile knew he had to change something. He stopped worrying about everyone else, and focused on himself. The advice I would give you is focus on bettering yourself instead of worrying about everyone else. Another example of Relational Transgressions in pro sports is when Nick Young got caught cheating on his wife at the club. Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. The advice I would give to you is to treat others the way you would like to be treated. If you do not want something like this to happen to you, don't do it to someone else. Lastly, Deception is very common in pro sports. For example,in the playoffs Raheem Sterling gets tackled and flops completely.A flop is an intentional fall or stagger by a player after little or no physical contact by an opposing player in order to draw a personal foul call by an official against the opponent.Sterling then gets a red card and thrown out of the game for flopping This is an example of deception because Sterling is trying to deceive the refs that he got fouled, even though he did not. The advice I would give is cheaters never win and winners never cheat!

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Why may my relationships in sports be changing?

Why is your sports relationship changing?

These are 8 categories that could be it.

The first category is communication based. This could be like in the offseason if one player doesn't go to the summer workouts or anything you may lose your closeness to the person. This could be because during the season you would see each other day for practice but if you guys do not talk to each other than you will not increase your relationship and you guys may fall off.

The second category is passion based. If you do not show the passion to the sport as your teammates, that may affect you relationship with your teammates. If they are heavily devoted they will not want to be friends with you if you do not show mutual devotion.

The third category is Activity based. This could be like when you make a new team and you get to meet with the coaches. This is crucial to make a good first impression

The fourth category is commitment based. This is an example of like signing your letter of intent to be with the team. If you are commited your relationships are going to increase with your teammates and coaches.

The fifth category is familial/social based. This could be like joining or leaving a new team. It could be an example of joining a new team for meeting your new teammates. But it could also be quitting your team. This could end your relationships with your teammates.

The 6th category is proximity based. This could be like being traded or moving. This is a relocation phase and will force you to make more relationships with your new teammates.

The 7th category is Crisis based. This could be an example of a teammate getting injured. This a crisis because you be able to play alongside your brother any more.

The 8th category is perception based. This could change your relationships based upon the perception. If 2 teammates have different perceptions or ideas on something this could lead to controversy. It could also benefit if you and your teammates or coach talk about the controversy and fix it.

Relational Maintenance refers to a variety of behaviors exhibited by relational partners in an effort to maintain their relationship. Although the original five relational maintenance behaviors (positivity, openness, assurances, networks, and tasks) appear to be relevant in a number of relationships, it also appears that the different relationship types (friend, romantic, family, etc.) engage in relational maintenance in different ways. Being together and stable is not enough—one must also consider the quality of the relationship. maintenance refers to repair. This definition leads one to examine how people overcome problems and (perhaps) transgressions. Negative conflict behaviors lead to negative emotional reactions. Called the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," these four behaviors are deadly and are believed to occur in a general sequence; initially, partners complain/criticize, which leads to contempt, which leads to defensiveness, which leads to stonewalling. Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them, but this knowledge is not enough. To drive away destructive communication and conflict patterns, you must replace them with healthy, productive ones. In sports this can be when teammates start to argue with each other and they will complain and criticize each other. Then contempt sets in and there seems to be a position of moral superiority. The defensive response will lead to blame the other partner in the relationship. After this stonewalling sets in and you will no longer talk to your teammate. This is like what happened to Jimmy Butler and the TImberwolves.

Conflict is a disagreement between two or more parties that has been acted on. A conflict is different than a disagreement and a fight.  A disagreement is when people have a difference in opinion.  A fight is a conflict that hasn't been managed. Your conflict styles are based on your cooperation and your assertiveness. Tolerance for disagreement is a scale that measures the personal levels of disagreement  a person can take before they start a conflict. Ways to prevent conflict are avoid talking about sensitive topics, don’t be verbally aggressive. Talk about things you have in common instead. You can manage conflict by changing the topic if a sensitive topic comes up or you could try to avoid people who like to get involved in conflict. There are a number of examples of conflict in sports. Le'veon Bell, First Team All Pro running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers,  demonstrates conflict when he was having a contract dispute with the Steelers. He believed he was worth more than what they were offering him (70M/ four years). He decided to sit out the whole year in protest, with the goal of getting a higher salary offer.  The end result is that he did not get paid for the whole year and now he is on the NY Jets making only 52.5M/ four years. This is a disagreement he acted on, which is why it is a conflict.

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Sports without Vocal Communications

Non Verbal Communications in Sports

Characteristics of Non Verbal Communication in sports:

1.It is present in most communication on and off the field

2.It conveys more information than verbal communication

3.It's more believable than verbal communications

4.It is how we communicate emotion

5.It is how we communicate our intentions.

Categories of Non-Verbal Communication

Physical appearance, dress, artifacts: Let's say if you are dressed like you don’t want to be there in your sporting event you will show to your peers you do not want to be there. Also lets say you forgot your cleats or knee pads or something at home, you will give off a vibe that you do not want to be there and don't care enough about what you are doing.

Gestures and Movements: Gestures and movement have a lot to do with sports. If your moving slow and being lazy you are giving a vibe that you just don’t really care at all. If you are being very upbeat and have a lot of adrenaline it's going to give off a positive vibe to your teammates and coaches. It will give everyone a positive boost towards what they are doing.

Facial and Eye Behavior: Facial and eye behavior can be crucial in what your doing. When coach is talking to you make sure you look focused on what your doing and keep your eyes on what he is instructing you to do. If he is giving you instructions on the white board then look what he is doing. If he tells you something you don't want to hear, make sure you don't roll your eyes at them. It will get them pissed off and make it worse for you.

Haptics- Communicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior. For example, your coach gives you a fist pound, or a high five after practice, or a game this signifies a job well done, without the use of verbal communication. Using touch instead of words has a more meaningful meaning, and strengthens the messages between the two people.

Self Uncertainty: How confident is your investment in this relationship? Do you actually love this person or do you just think you do. You want to be confident in your ability to decide on this because in the long run it will pay off. You do not want to stay with a person that you aren’t sure about. This is like when a team is scouting a potential player to draft. They have to make sure the investment pays off or it will negatively affect the team for years to come. For example, the Portland Trailblazers decided to draft Greg Oden over Kevin Durant in the NBA draft and that has hurt their franchise for years to come. Kevin Durant has become one of the best players in the league while Greg Oden never had any success in the NBA.

Partner Uncertainty: How confident are you that you know that your partner is invested in this relationship? There is nothing worse than being the one that puts in all the effort in a relationship. You feel as if your partner does not even want to be with you. This is a terrible feeling and you will want to find out if they actually love you so you do not waste time with them. This is like when the Texans drafted Mario Williams with the first overall pick in the 2006 NFL draft. Everyone including Reggie Bush thought that he would be the first person drafted that year. The partner (Texans) was not confident enough in the relationship with Reggie Bush to draft him.

Relationship Uncertainty: How confident are you in the status of your relationship? Is this really love or is it just smoke and mirrors. Everything may seem great on the outside but it could be very different internally. You have to figure out together if this relationship is going to work or if it is time to move on. This may take some time to figure out so don’t feel the need to break it off so quickly. But if it has been a while and you don’t think it’s going anywhere then you should end it. This is like Odell going to the Cleveland Browns. On paper it looked like the Browns could be Superbowl contenders but in reality they are 2-6 and Odell has not been putting up good numbers.

Sympathy: recognition of someone’s grief or pain. This relates into sports when there is a player seriously injured, even if it is for a player on the opposing team.  An example is when Steelers linebacker Ryan Shazier, was injured by tackling the ball carrier of the Cincinnati Bengals.  When he tackled his opponent he lead with his head and was down and unable to move his lower body.  Players on both teams came out to the field to offer him support and see if he was ok.  This happens often, teams will take a knee when someone is injured as a sign of their support and sympathy.

Empathy: understanding the feelings of another person during a situation; you let yourself feel what another person is feeling through shared experiences.  For example, Steelers starting quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is currently injured and whenever the backup quarterback, Mason Rudolph, makes a bad throw or a bad decision, Ben will coach him on what to do better.  Ben has empathy for Mason, as they are both in a quarterback position.  He is able to understand how Mason feels in the game, and offer guidance when needed.

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Relational Framing Theory

Hello followers,

This post is going to be a theory that we did some intensive research in. We hope we can relay what we learned to you guys and teach you some new things that you didn't know about Relational Framing Theory.

Relational Framing theory is a psychological theory which intends to better understand the association between human behavior and language. This theory argues that natural human language typically specifies not just the strength of a link between stimuli but also the type of relation as well as the dimension along which they are related to.

This theory was developed to challenge modern psychology such as notions of self, autonomy, independence, individuation, and competition. This creates the idea that the need for an establishment of authentic and mutual connection in a relationship are essential. It was created by Jean Baker Miller

The strengths of relational framing theory could be that you could get to see how someone really is and can connect two people based on it. The human behavior and language links together to connect people. This is like the draft process in the NBA. Teams want to take their time with each potential rookie and really get to know them and see if they are the right pick for the team. For example, this year the New York Knicks drafted RJ Barrett with the third pick in the draft. The two parties connected over practice, dinners, and meetings. The Knicks were impressed with RJ Barrett and RJ wanted to go to the Knicks, so the pair successfully paired.

The weaknesses of relational framing theory could be that it could give off a bad vibe to other people. If someone is having a bad day, they could give off a negative vibe and frustrated tone. It could give someone the impression that they could be a mean person and make someone who is a nice person be unattractive to them and not want to be associated with them. This would be like if a scout came to a game to watch and try and recruit a player to play for their team. If the player has an off game and doesn’t play well, the scout may not want to recruit him anymore. Even if they player is good, the scout sees how he/she is playing, and they have a negative connotation towards that person.

There are two dimensions of communication; Dominance and Affiliation. Dominance alludes to the degree to which individuals control or impact each other. This is like having a bad coach. This coach will yell at you and not try to help in a positive way. They will want you to do everything their way or nothing at all. Affiliation alludes to the degree to which individuals have positive respect or preferring for each other. This is like having a good coach. This coach will take time to help you and fix what you are doing wrong in a positive way. The coach will communicate effectively and respectfully so you know what to do in the future. These dimensions help individuals in comprehending communications and filling in missing data when messages are vague. The two frames are in competition with one another; when one is utilized, the other frame is repressed.

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Stages on becoming Great Teammates

Hello Followers,

I hope you enjoyed our Unit One post and found it helpful.  Now onto Unit Two which include the stages of making a close relationship.

Stage 1: Initiation- This is the stage when people first meet and judge each other's attractiveness and appearance.  This is a short stage and it’s all about making impressions. People work very hard to present themselves as interesting. For example: You see an attractive girl in the dining hall and before going up to her, you make sure your hair looks good and your breath smells fresh. You can only have one first impression. In sports this would be when you are trying out for a team. You only have a short amount of time to make a good impression for the coaches. You will want to leave them with a positive image of you so you can continue the relationship.

Stage 2: Experimentation-  In this stage, individuals begin to learn about each other. They start to explore each other’s likes and dislikes. Individuals need to meet certain expectations or people may decide not to continue the relationship. For example:  When hanging out with your new friend, you may ask questions to learn more about them. What do they like to do for fun? Favorite television show? What do they want to do after they graduate? These questions will help to discover if the two of you are compatible and have similar interests and goals. In sports this will be when a new team is formed and the coaches need to decide how to use each member of the team. As seniors graduate and there are new members of the team, they will have to see how each piece fits together and how they will succeed in the long run. It is also like new free agents going to a team and seeing how they gel.

Stage 3: Intensifying- In this stage couples start sharing personal information to one another. Couples are more willing to make statements of commitment and say I love you. The partners are highly attracted to each other and they find themselves thinking about each other all the time. For example, they may give each other nicknames and call a favorite restaurant “Their place.” In sports this will be when you earn playing time after showing the coaches you deserve it. It takes a little bit of time but the coaches will notice and trust you on the field to make plays when it matters.

Stage 4: Integration- This is the time when the two individuals become a couple.  They begin to do things together and let others see them as a pair. They begin to join their friend groups and spend time with other couples. For example, they may go out on a double date with another couple. In sports this will be solidifying a starting spot on the team. It will take awhile to get there but continuous improvement and commitment will get you there. Once you get to the starting spot you still need to work hard to take it to the next and final level.

Stage 5: Bonding- This is the final stage in making a close and lasting relationship. In this stage couples make a public commitment to each other in front of their friends and family. The two people are publicly tied to one another and hopefully forever. For example, the couple gets married. In sports this will be you becoming the star player and leader of the team. The coach may also give you the honor of being captain as you have earned it. The coach is now able to publicly announce you as the face and leader of the team. The trust is earned and the relationship is at its peak. The relationship can take two directions at this point. It can continue to stay at bonding or in most cases it can go down and the relationship begins to get lost. This will be the player graduating and moving on from the high school program and on to something else. They will each day drift further apart until that player is forgotten by the coaches and program.

These are the five stages of developing a close relationship. Some relationships may not progress past stage one (Initiation). However, keep in mind that first impressions are important, but there is more to just looks.  If you want to know if you are compatible with a person you need to invest the time and get to know them by going beyond the physical appearance. You may just find the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This is like choosing a college to play for, you want to be certain which college you choose because you will be there for 4 years so you want to be at a spot where you are comfortable. You may be impressed with the initiation of the process but you will want to go through all 5 stages to be certain this is the place you want to be.

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The Whole Nine Yards of Communication

Interpersonal Communication on the field:

Dynamic: The communication on the field is always changing throughout the game based on the mood. If you are smacking a team by a lot, the energy and mood of your team will be very high. If you are losing by a lot to a team the energy of the team is going to be low and they will start to get frustrated and turn on each other.

2. Transactional: This is like calling plays in football. The coach will call the play to either straight to the quarterback or someone else running in from the sidelines. This will then be communicated to the players in the huddle. It is when there is a sender and receiver in communication.

3. Dyadic: This is like trash talking on the field. It is an exchange of dialogue between a pair of people. Say one kid makes a good play and he tells an opposing player like “hey your garbage bro” and the other kid responds “just wait till next play”. This is an example of Dyadic communication. Not all dyadic communication is negative though, just in this example I explained it is just a pair of people having a back and forth conversation.

4. Impact: Impact communication is communication that creates bonds between people. This for example is like meeting your teammates on the first day. You know you are stuck with them for the rest of the season so you are forced to make bonds between them. You are going to be going into battle with these kids the rest of the year having each others back so might as well be good friends with them. The closer you are to your teammates the more of the impact it is going to be. The closer you are the more you are going to fight for each other.

Relationships Type 1: Role Relationship

The role relationship is like referees in a game. You aren’t best friends with them but they are always there and you need to communicate with them. They are temporarily in your life for the duration of the game. Referees sole purpose on the field is the officiate the game and not to build relationships with the players or coaches.

Relationship Type 2: Interpersonal Relationship

Interpersonal relationships are most closely related to the relationships that players have with their coaches.  As the players and their coaches get to know each other better over time the coach may start trying to instill more than how to play the game. Coaches not only try to get their players to perfect the game but, they try and get them to carry these traits in to everyday life to make them better gentlemen and over all good people. For example, a coach more often than not will instill discipline and hardwork into their players every practice. They tend to carry these traits into the classroom with their studies to help them do better in school since their coach has driven into them that they must reach to be the best they can be. These types of people help mold and steer you in the right direction in life.

Relationship Type 3: Close Relationships

The close relationships are like your MVPs. These are your teammates. This is who you go into war with single game. You guys are with each other every single day of the year. You are making each other by going to the weight room. During the season you are with each other every single day for practice and games. You guys will have each others backs no matter what. You cannot replace your teammates and you are forced to be connected. These types of friends tend to be in your life for many years down the road and create a very tight bond with each other. They are the most important people in your life during games and during the season.

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Blog #1 - Hello Blog Followers:

The goal of this blog is to help college students like ourselves “tackle” relationships and friendships old and new. All the players involved in contributing to this blog are here to help you reach the “finish line” by fostering healthy positive relationships. To learn more about us you can view our stats by reading our bios. We really hope that this blog will help you “score” friends that can be part of your team. We will be updating this blog periodically in order to provide our followers with helpful tips and information.

Thank you for being part of our team and we are in your corner.

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Meet the Players

Hi my name is CJ Mason. I am a blogger on this website. I am from Hilton NY. Hilton NY is about 15 minutes from Brockport. I have had plenty of friendships that have came and gone so I know a lot about meeting new people. I work as a stagehand at Blue Cross Arena and CMAC so I meet new people everyday and have met a bunch of people with completely different personalities. I played football and hockey for my high school. I now attend SUNY Brockport and study Sports Management. 

Hi my name is Derek Perrotto and I will also be posting on this blog. I am from Hilton, NY, which is about 15 minutes from Brockport. I played varsity tennis primarily in doubles, so I know how to communicate well in a partnership. I work at Carbones Pizzeria where I work well with customers and coworkers. I attend SUNY Brockport majoring in Business Administration.

Hi my name is Josh Rubin I’m a 19 year old sophomore majoring in Marketing. I live in Plainview, New York with my parents and brother and sister. I comes from a very close supportive family. Growing up Josh played football, soccer, and wrestled. In addition to participating in sports I enjoyed cheering on my favorite teams with his family.

Hi my name is Jacob Cogswell, I am 18 years old and a business administration major and will be one of the bloggers is this group. I am from Constantia, NY and went to Central Square highschool. Growing up I had a strong passion for football. I played from the time I was 4 until my senior year of highschool. I played as an inside linebacker and fullback. Every summer off from school I would work in my grandfathers wire mill where they worked for companies like Boeing, Martin Guitar, and SpaceX. I have an older brother, Joshua, and an older sister, Ashley. They both have 2 kids which makes me an uncle of 4 children. My main goal for this blog is to try and give you a better understanding of relationships by relating topics through sports and how they correlate.

Hi my name is James Altenburger and I am one of the people who will be posting on this blog to help you with your relationships. Here’s some information about myself. I am from Clifton Park, NY, which is about 3 and a half hours away from Brockport. It is a suburb about 30 minutes north of Albany.  I have 3 older sisters and 15 cousins so I know how to deal with people and the relationships that come with it. I went to Shenendehowa High School which is one of the largest high schools in NY. I had a graduating class of 760 people. I played Varsity football and basketball for 3 years. I played tight end and defensive end in football and center in basketball. I hope to use the time I’ve spent playing sports into helpful analogies and metaphors for your relationships.