ssuperman571

[ssuperman571]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[ssuperman571]

[ssuperman571]

Taken from @marvelmemesforever on Instagram

[ssuperman571]

[ssuperman571]

So, with all the nightmarish tech bills that’ve been going around in the US (Including one I haven’t even made a post on yet), I figured I might as well use this opportunity to give a breather by showing off an opportunity to fight for good things.

Specifically, they’re using April 4th as a day of action to get people to try and fight for major antitrust bills in Congress. You know, to deal with the horrible; horrible monopolies that have been actually screwing up the internet rather than; say; Too Much Free Speech or Not Enough Punishment of Piracy like the jerk brigade is pushing.

The link shows you the steps you need to do for the sake of getting Antitrust Day rolling, and this is important because, in an inverse of the bad laws we’re fighting, while this antitrust push is targeted at big tech, it sure as shit isn’t going to stop there.

In other words, Today Facebook, Tomorrow Disney. And I think that’s sure as hell worth fighting for…

[ssuperman571]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[ssuperman571]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[ssuperman571]

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[ssuperman571]

i think its fine for straight actors to play gay characters but if they do it they have to actually get into it and give us good convincing kisses. if elliot page can suck passionate face with michael cera in 2007 u can kiss another man like u fucking mean it for 5 seconds

[ssuperman571]

Buck: I wanna go to the liquid zoo.

Eddie: What?

Buck: I forget what it's called... like the actual zoo, but with liquid animals.

Eddie: You mean the aquarium?

Buck: I guess

[ssuperman571]

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

[ssuperman571]

last night in oslo, legend 💙

[ssuperman571]

blogging from the contraption

[ssuperman571]

Where has this been all my life?

[ssuperman571]

You know what. DON'T let men be masculine. Men, put on your cat ears and little jingly bell collars this INSTANT. PAINT your nails

[ssuperman571]