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happy birthday to my lovely wife!

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its a very special day

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happy 47th !!

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happy birthday gerard 🔥❤️🌹🥀🙏❤️

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reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney

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my bitch wife took my mortality in the divorce and now I am cursed to walk the earth a shambling husk forever trapped in the gray nothingness between the beauty of life and the release of death 👎👎👎👎

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pssssst hey. hey. free and expansive database of folk and fairy tales. you can thank me later

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It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

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there should be a hotline for me to call autistic people with specific hyperfixations every time i have a question

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Sometimes, when you play dnd, the question isn't "Is this an effective and economical use of my limited spell slots?" but rather, "Would this be really fucking funny?"

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Glasses people love to make you try their glasses on to see how fucked up their eyes are. It's a sign of respect in their culture.

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“let’s run away together” trope fucks me up bc it’s almost always doomed. but what if it’s not this time.

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So we're supposed to look straight at it?

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the scientific name for the grackle is gracula quiscula so now next time i see a grackle i will call it count gracula

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Solar Eclipse Shadows

These solar eclipse shadows form due to the distance between the sun and the leaves on the trees. The distance and the proximity of the leaves to one another cause for a "lensing" type effect, making the eclipse shadow clearer to the human eye.