starkitten

[starkitten]

2023

Hello again! So it's the time of the year again to reflect on what happened this 2023

I have to admit, this year has been a difficult year again, especially in terms of my work life. I won't dwell on it too much here so I guess this post won't be too long.

But despite of all the difficulties encountered during the year, I realized that there are still things to be thankful for. As I went along in this 2023 journey, I realized that I've been surrounded by good friends.

Earlier this year, I had a chance to catch up and bond with choir batchmates (Ate Liza and Theo) before Ate Liza moved to their province. I also had a chance to a reunion and bonding with college friends with Ate Ai who went to Manila for a few months (she's now based in Japan). I also had a chance to a reunion with my former teammates in NCD unit. While we don't really have that deep friendship, I do feel that our bonding is real and genuine. We even had an out of town trip. It wasn't perfect but at least I learned about them a little more on travelling with them. I also had a reunion with my friends at the choir, with one of us returning to the choir after being inactive for a few years. While I don't want to expect anything from my choir friends anymore, I still appreciated that our friendship revived somehow. This also goes to other old friends who are still up for casual online catch ups.

I also realized that rapport with the other associates in our Division has been established already somehow. And they remind me that I'm not alone in experiencing difficulties at work.

So God has still been good to me as he answers my prayers in being surrounded with good friends.

While my head is telling me that I will still encounter difficulties in 2024, I still welcome 2024 with hope.

Let's go, 2024!

[starkitten]

2022

Hello! So currently it's the first 48 minutes of 2023 as I type here, and another year has passed.

2022 is, I don't know. At first I call it as so not my year, but I guess I can say it's not as good as the previous years. I don't think this blog post would be long as I admit I haven't been very reflective. And I meant to start my reflection at the final week of 2022 but got distracted with family things.

First off, I lost my boyfriend. I don't want to dwell on the details here as I've already opened this up to a few friends and to a certain Facebook group that I found.

That being said, this has been a turning point for me to at least stand up for myself and not to suck up to everything that my mom wants.

Second and after the breakup, I also got disappointed with one of my old friends whom after being reminded a few times of online catch up and have been confirming that she will join, she just begged off at the agreed meeting time. Okay, I know I shouldn't even be expecting all my old friends to show up. But it's another thing if that friend confirms then suddenly not show up at the time of catch up.

Third, I'm surrounded by people with high level of attitude problems at work and treat me as invisible at times. Okay, I know people with certain attitudes are always present in any workplace, but like I said, I'm talking about people with high level of attitude problems.

I try to let them serve as lessons or challenges for myself. For my lost boyfriend, may the underlying reason for our breakup serve as a lesson to improve myself. And while we agreed that we can remain friends, communication may still not be possible this year.

There were also specifically 2 prospective guys whom I think I can date. It will be a long way to go for either of them. But I'm working on it.

As I've been sucking up to each words that my mom wants me to do up to the smallest things, perhaps it's time to stand up for myself even with baby steps for now, which I started trying to do after the breakup.

For old friends who disappoint and antagonists at work, may this serve as a lesson to continue being understanding and patient.

Despite these things that happened, I'm still thankful for 2022 for these things.

I'm thankful for the group of my old friends who continue to show up whenever I call for a catch up. The feeling is always good when catching up with them.

I also felt happy that one of my friends at our choir came back, and hope to catch up with her this year.

Despite being surrounded by people at work who make me feel that I'm invisible and inferior, I'm thankful for 2 of my colleagues who made me feel that I'm not alone and share my sentiments. And share laughter at work. Special mention to Ms Judith and Misa :)

I also got a chance to experience face-to-face graduation for finishing MBA at De La Salle University. Finally, a memorable graduation to remember :)

I also resumed doing song covers. This time, showing my face on Facebook.

And what do you know, I survived New Year's eve without wearing a headset. And what a way to end 2022 and begin 2023 with a few shots of strawberry soju. Yum :)

This 2023, now I don't know what to type haha. I actually don't believe in finding the words in a puzzle that would define my year. But I guess if all else is down, the only way is up. To more catch up with old friends. To those adventures I've been thinking of once COVID-19 cases become more stable. And to all those experience that are yet to come.

Let's go 2023!

[starkitten]

2021

Less than an hour left before 2022, and here I am reflecting on all the things that happened this 2021.

2021 in general is a year of rising up.

In the beginning of the year, I feel a little lost in my life.

In terms of family, I almost thought of moving away from my mom. Especially there are still times where she controls how I should decide and act on my life. But when she started accepting again my boyfriend to visit me and that the controlling episodes rarely happen, I thought that I should still stay.

In terms of work, I was still feeling really bad about what happened to our team. But it wasn't as if I could do anything with that. So I just continued with my work as usual.

And then my life started rising.

Since late 2020, I was working on revising my MBA Action Research paper and I continued working on this at the start of the year, then re-enrolled for the following school term. After revision, my Action Research paper eventually was endorsed for defense then eventually passed the defense. I've finally completed my MBA, and I've graduated from De La Salle University.

It was also in 2020 when I submitted a job application for a higher level position in my current organization. I thought that application was not successful as I haven't heard about that after a few months. But earlier this year, I was invited for exams and interviews for that application. A few months after that, I got a job offer for that. Since that is a promotion for me, I accepted the offer. I got promoted. I've also taken the job offer as a sign to really move on from what happened to my team last year.

Aside from obtaining a Master's Degree and a promotion, there were also a few other little achievements and joys that I had.

After getting a Master's Degree, I had more rest times during the weekend.

I thought of reaching out to all old friends that I had, from grade school friends to work friends, if I'm still their friend. I was very glad to hear from old friends who responded to my message and showed up at the online catch up that I proposed per friend group. I do hope I could still maintain old friends

I've also had time to watch series and movies in Netflix. So cool.

I've finally learned how to ride a bike. This is amazing because I thought I never will be able to learn how to do that. I learned with the help of my boyfriend of course, who is a legit biker.

I also got fully vaccinated from COVID-19 vaccine. But of course I should still observe minimum health protocols. Of course coming from me who is very conscious of getting any disease even during the pre-pandemic times.

Lastly, my boyfriend and I are still going strong for 4 years now. <3

I am very thankful for 2021 as this year helped me rise again.

I wish that 2022 will give us more blessings. Let's go 2022 :)

[starkitten]

2020

So here I am again. A few hours from now and it’s already 2021. But here I am again to reflect on what happened during the year.

This year has been a terrible year. And I guess it’s a terrible year for everyone since the COVID-19 pandemic started.

In terms of family life, I’ve been having thoughts of moving to a home separate from my mom. I’ve thought of that because I realize that I’m kind of sick and tired of my mother dictating each and every move and decisions that I make. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, I still want to rely on her if I wear my clothes right before going outside. That’s also the reason why I decided to suspend communication with my dad for 2 more years for dictating what I should do with my life (example: getting an MBA was purely my parents’ choice). I’m also getting sick and tired of my mom being angry if I make mistakes or if I answer her back in an argument, to the point that it’s as if I’ve never done anything right. And there are times I feel that our relationship is not a mother-and-daughter anymore but a boss-and-staff. But then again, the decision to move to a separate home doesn’t happen overnight and a lot of things need to be considered before deciding. Also, I believe there may still be ways to sort things out with my mother.

In terms of love life, I’m thankful for my boyfriend that he still stays with our relationship even in this difficult time. Especially now that he is the only friend that I have. Despite all the disappointments that I’ve been through this year, he has always been there for me.

In terms of friends, it was a bit surprising that some good friends from Save the Children kept in touch. And I did appreciate that they listen to how I’ve been and cheered me up. We may not be always in touch but it’s good to know that I can still approach them whenever I need them.

In terms of work life, things were initially in place. Our unit finally settled in the Division where we were transferred. Our boss invites the team to have lunch together again, and even a monthly dinner. I even started building relationships with the new Division where we transferred. Until the pandemic came. Initially, I thought this was a blessing in disguise. Due to travel restrictions brought about by the pandemic, the duty travels of my boss and the rest of the unit were cancelled and I get to see them in the office everyday. Then the pandemic in the country worsened. Public transportation and international travels were restricted and we were forced to work from home. The unit returned to their respective home country/province. Then one day, my boss decided to resign. If he leaves, the contracts of the rest of the consultants are in question if there would be another contract. And at the end of the year, I feel like I didn’t really have a team after all, and I’m left all alone, with a new staff. The reason why I feel bad about this is because there’s an unfinished business and we didn’t even have the chance to meet in person to say goodbye. I know no one from the unit wanted this to happen. But then again, I am still grateful that I still have a job, and my contract was renewed. And even if the dinner proposed by my boss never happened before he resigned, I would still consider myself lucky the fact that I did not need to make an effort to see my boss in the office everyday, unlike the other girls in the organization who would go lengths just to see him and make the first move on him. At least that’s what I know. If there is a lesson to this experience, I guess it’s to cherish moments with the people around me while the are in my present life, which I think I was able to do in the best way that I can.

In terms of school, I consider this pandemic as a blessing in disguise. Due to the pandemic, the church decided to move the pilgrimage to next year, which means I could enroll for Action Research again during that period. In addition to that, mass gatherings were not allowed, to the point that church and choir activities were cancelled and the upcoming concert proposed in June 2020 was indefinitely postponed. So yay, no rehearsals and more time for my Action Research. So I was able to enroll again for the month of October. But my adviser provided comments for major revision of my research paper. But it was okay and that was expected. I just didn’t expect that it would take more time to revise the research paper. But I can still say that there is progress, which is good.

Even if 2020 was a terrible year, I’m still thankful that I am still alive, still has a family and boyfriend, and still has a job. I still welcome 2021 with hope.

I still hope that my relationship with my family would improve.

As to my boyfriend, I’m just not sure how long our relationship would last even if we’ve been talking about getting married and having a simple life together until we grow old. Because of the current pandemic, movements are restricted. And visitors are discouraged. Although we’ve already seen each other after quarantine measures are slightly lifted, we cannot deny the fact that the threat of the virus is still present. And because of that, I’m uncomfortable seeing him and violating minimum health standards. But I still hope that he would understand and we could still work out our relationship given the limitations.

Though I don’t have much friends, I still hope for possibility of meeting true and good friends. Not necessarily in 2021 but in the future years.

In terms of work life, there’s nothing I can do about what happened. But I can do something to boost my motivation at work, and will stick to my plan. Just not sure if it will work as opportunity to do my plan is scarce, but it’s worth the try.

In terms of school, I am positive that there’s a high chance of finishing my Action Research and eventually my MBA for this year.

What do you know? It’s already 2021. Happy new year everyone! 2021, let’s go!

[starkitten]

2019

Okay. After a lot of attempts to access my Tumblr again to write my 2019 reflections, I needed to go and refresh my Tumblr using my 2 laptops, which for some reason is not cooperating (I also had difficulty accessing Facebook through these 2 laptops since yesterday). Not sure why. But I don’t wanna emphasize that and I don’t wanna be negative as we’re welcoming 2020 in a few minutes. Anyways, I’m here now :)

2019 was rather a busy year, and a year full of challenges but a year with opportunities as well.

Earlier this year, we brought my mom to the hospital and was found to have high Sodium levels in her blood, which may lead to coma and further to death. Given this incident and in addition to the departure of our aunt in this world a year ago at the age of 70, I realized that I can never really tell until when I will be with my mother. So I decided to break my personal rule of not organizing family trips unless I’ve already finished MBA, and pushed through with the Bohol trip this year, so I could at least bring my mom to another town at least once in her lifetime. Achieve!

That brought a bit of consequence on my studies as it decreased the time for me to work on my Action Research. The progress in my Action Research is still slow. In addition, just when I’m about to aim to enroll again in my Action Research on September 2020, our church announced that there will be a pilgrimage in Italy on October 2020, and my mom wants us to join. This will cause delay again in my enrollment. I don’t want to be enrolled while I cannot work with my adviser on my Action Research as I’m out of the country for 2 weeks. There is still progress somehow, as I’m just lacking one chapter in the research paper, and I’m done. (Just don’t ask me how I did it this time). The actual implementation itself is kind of slow too, which is beyond my control, I guess. I don’t know if I can finish my Action Research, and eventually MBA in 2020, but I still do the best I can.

I also find it hard to allot time for my Action Research because of my work. But don’t get me wrong because I also need a work as my source of income. But there are times that workload was too much, to the point that I even work on weekends. But at the same time, I see it as an opportunity. Currently I’m supporting the Mental Health and Substance Abuse unit while the recruitment of their support staff is in process, On top of my main job in supporting NCD management. It is an opportunity in a way that I’m learning to do the scope of work that I could not do in NCD management.

Miraculously, both Denise and Charm showed up early this year and one catch up pushed through. Unfortunately, that was no longer followed later in the year, and sad to say that I don’t know if there will still be another catch up for the three of us in our lifetime. I also tried to organize a reunion with my former colleagues at Save the Children, but I guess it was too late and that they have moved on with their lives.

I’m still grateful and thankful for my boyfriend for always being there for me.

I think I still need to write more but I would have to stop here. But despite the challenges that I went through in 2019 and will still go through in 2020, I still welcome 2020 with hope.

Here we go 2020!

[starkitten]

2018

Whoa! What do you know? Minutes from now and 2018 will end.

2018 was overall a great year. I started the year by saying goodbye with Save the Children Global Fund colleagues and rest, coz end of contract means being unemployed, which was fine because there was no such thing as rest when I was working there. In case you haven’t noticed, I was not able to post a year-end reflection for 2017.

And then, I received a request from WHO to work as temporary staff, and I started working a month after I ended work with Save the Children, which I am thankful because I did not stay jobless for long.

For this year, I still struggle in finding time to work on my Action Research, which is needed for me to finish my MBA. But I will work on this for the next year.

Also for this year, I find it kind of sad as I feel like our friendship with Family Choir beshies (Denise and Charm) is dying. Charm has never showed up to our get togethers this year, and Denise may be physically present at our catch-ups, but starting to be mentally absent and virtually present somewhere else (she’s focused on her phone instead of conversing with me, which I think is kind of rude).

Despite these, I’m still thankful that I still have Aran, my boyfriend, who stays by my side regardless of my mood and regardless of what I’m going through. So far, he’s the only real friend that I have now. Of course, he is a best friend aside from a boyfriend.

And of course, always thankful for my mother who has been there for me since birth.

The greatest blessing that I received for 2018 was when I received the Fixed-term appointment for the position that I was temporarily working at WHO. I will forever be thankful for this blessing, because I found a long-term job, and long-term career at WHO.

This 2019, I will improve on finding more time to work on my Action Research and eventually finish MBA but at the same time still find time with my mother, and of course maintaining my performance at WHO for continuity of my contract. I will also maintain my relationship with my boyfriend and best friend.

Let’s go 2019!

[starkitten]

Happy birthday i know na maeenjoy m ng sobra ung special day m spend some quality time with ur family. Im so sorry di ako makakajoin sa birthday m. Alam m naman if bakit. Well first of all sobrang thankful ako na naging special part ako ng buhay m. Hindi ko man masabi sau personally how u much u mean to me. Kung gaano ka kahalaga. Kung gaano ako kasaya. I will do my best para maging masaya ka. Alam ko hindi ako perfect na boyfriend marami kalokohan madalas may misunderstanding. Promise i will be your Kuya, Kaibigan, Bestfriend, Tatay, Workmate and most of all your Boyfriend. I will be here anything happens when u need someone to talk to, to be with u. Andito lang ako. Sana ikaw na ung maging Last ko. Sorry minsan nadidiktahan kita. (hindi naman bawal magreklamo :)) love u so much wishing u all the best blessing and strength from god. Always pray ask guidance in ur everyday life. I LOVE YOU.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. 🎂🎂🎂💕❤️💓

Birthday message from my boyfriend

[starkitten]

2016: year of change

So I took an exam on nametests.com via Facebook this time last year to find out what is the word for me for the year. And said that

“Joanne, your word for 2016 is: Change. Your next year will be founded on change. New challenges will bring you much happiness!”

And I was like, I’m always open to it. Bring it on!

And indeed, 2016 was a year of change for me.

Change in employment status. Yes, so many changes have been made in my employment status, literally. I have only worked for 3 months in 2015. I welcomed 2016 unemployed. Followed by being contacted by 4 organizations in January. Two of them have contacted me for interview. One of them asked me if I’m still available to work (I was contacted by them late last year, but it’s only a short-term job good for three weeks). DepEd asked for my availability if I can provide support to another one of their workshops, which conflicted my three-week job. Then I was eventually hired by UP Manila NTHC to work as a Senior Administrative Officer (wow! bigtime position!), where I had a rollercoaster ride in my career life. It was the first time that I managed 2 Project Assistants. But I never thought managing people was that hard, more especially if their attitude is out of control and resistant to change. And unfortunately, it came to a point that I realized that working there is not worth it. Sleepless nights, outside noises, pressure, toxicity, crying while eating breakfast, forgetting myself, and all that will not do anything right to the organization and to my professional growth. Fortunately, a job opportunity at Save the Children opened up for me with a somehow more comfortable working conditions. But unfortunately again, my post got abolished so my contract ended earlier than expected. I felt sad because of that. But I guess it was a blessing in disguise as my load at graduate school during that time was unexpectedly too heavy. And I’ve ended 2016 unemployed. Whoa! What a rollercoaster ride there!

Change in school environment. At the start of 2016, I have been studying at De La Salle University for over a year already. But I have always attended classes at Makati Extension Campus. I also wanted to attend classes at Taft Campus so I could somehow feel that I’m studying in a “university”, meaning, in a university environment. For the record, I rarely drop by Taft Campus when I want to attend seminars, and that’s it. But for this year, I had the opportunity to study at Taft Campus. Studying in a big school never felt so good. Hooray!

Change in squadmates (newfound friends). So I’ve met a lot of new people this year. Starting with my workmates in my three-week job. Well we did kept in touch with each other even after our contract, but like the usual people separating ways, we’ve parted ways as well. We do have a common chatroom in case of anything. I’ve hang out with the Family Choir at the start of the year, but I never thought I’d also find close friends with them. Special mention to Denise and Charm. Well we may not be as close as a real squad yet but I hope our new found friendship will last long.

Change from puppy love to road to real love. Since 2014, I have prayed to meet “the one”, but to no avail, even until the first half of the year 2016. I tend to like and be attracted to guys, who turn out to be either in a relationship or married. Earlier this year, I was interviewed and hired at UP-NTHC, thanks to Sir. Emman. He was nice and kind, to the point that he did not need to be that kind that appeared to be more than a professional relationship. I found out as early as possible that he’s in a relationship, but I guess it was too late. I liked him already but I just held my feelings back. I told this to some of my teammates and slaps me verbally to reality every now and then but it didn’t fully help. I felt bad whenever they talk about him and girlfriend at my hearing distance, but I couldn’t do anything but cry deep inside and just maintain a friendly professional relationship with him. I thought, “Oh well! I guess this is just another episode of liking a taken guy”. It was as if a spell was cast on me to be attracted to taken guys through the years. But I guess it’s a blessing in disguise that he left NTHC in the middle of the year, so I would eventually snap out of it. So I lived my life without him, moved on, and focused on how to improve my work, and meet other guys, like the one I’ll be talking about next.

During the time that Sir. Emman was leaving slowly but surely at NTHC, there was this developer guy whom I thought was kind as well and could be my friend. His name is Elvin. I think our first conversation was last June when I was working on his contract. Then followed by short moments like when he added me as a friend on Facebook and asked me to eat breakfast with him during an NTHC event. He did have some sweet tongue, which can make you fall for a guy but more or less it’s just a joke. But I didn’t mind as I know most guys are like that. We had our first date which he shouldered (as unexpected). From that time on whenever he reports to work, he eats lunch with me and takes me to the terminal on my way home. I enjoyed his company since then. But one time, he held my hand and kissed it. I thought he was only offering friendship. I’ve confirmed with him that he was courting me. Honestly, that was one of the happiest days of my life for this year. He’s been courting me for about 4 months now. Now I feel like the spell of being attracted to taken guys is now broken.

I thank God for these changes this year, as I believe I receive all these blessings for me to grow.

This 2017, I’ll continue to search for job opportunities. I also wish I could land a job with at least a medical insurance.

This 2017, I’ll do my best to maintain the newfound friendships that I have in the year 2016.

This 2017, I could have my first boyfriend.

And This 2017, it is estimated that I will be able to technically complete and finally finish MBA.

So help me God.

2017, here I come!

[starkitten]

Phone convo with Mr. UP

me: Nasa byahe ako ngayon

Mr. UP: Sino kasama mo? Parents mo

me: Oo. Kasama ko mom ko

Mr. UP: Ah! Good morning ma!

[starkitten]

2015

So hi guys! Here I am again reflecting on what the year 2015 has been for me.

2015 was another year of ups and downs. I can start with the downs so this journal entry will have a happy ending.

This year has reminded me that there are three things and people that are hard to find in this world: true friends, true love, and stable job, which I guess is a reality in this world.

I have looked forward for The One since the start of 2014, but to no avail until now. Well during those years, I did experience crushing on someone and had the feeling of “butterflies in my stomach” (kilig in tagalog haha), but I can’t proceed to the next level with that guy because he’s taken, and I’m looking for someone who’s not. To make this possible in 2016, I guess I’ll just have to continue doing what I have learned in one of the books by Bo Sanchez, and just stay positive.

On the challenge in finding true friends, I won’t drop names and elaborate the experience in detail because I want to minimise negativity in this post (besides, I already have a rant bag through one of my other accounts). There are these “friends” whom I have already sensed that will forget me once I’m gone in their work life, but I didn’t expect that they will forget me that soon, to the point that I was gone for a while but forgot about me the next minute. In addition to that, I felt alone during this month. I tried to contact past and present friends but to no avail. With this, I guess there will really come a time when I just have to let them go and move on with life. It’s better that way than wonder why things have changed among them. Well, letting them go in a way that I should no longer put much effort in reaching out to them when I know I’m doing my best to reach them but the feeling is not mutual on their side.

2015 also seemed a hopeless year for me to find a stable job. Well in reality, there’s no such thing as a stable job. What I mean here is that a stable job where I could at least be given a regular employment. I’ve applied to more than 20 vacancies but I rarely receive notifications from companies.

Just to add. This year, it came to a point that I think that I should not have taken up MBA as a graduate degree. It’s not because the course is difficult (well it is given that MBA is difficult. Nobody said it’s easy). It’s also not because I’m not happy with the school life (I’ve made a few friends, well not that solid, but potentially solid friends. And hello! That’s De La Salle University, can’t I be more proud of that?!). You wouldn’t believe. I took up MBA just because my parents told me so (I know. It’s so undergrad haha), and I agreed with them just to replace my stupid undergraduate profile the soonest possible. But I should have taken a degree where I could be employed in the development sector. I just realized that’s the career path that I want to take. Sadly, it’s hard to shift because my parents might kill me if I do (but maybe not because they aren’t supporting for the tuition fees anyway). Besides, I might not be accepted by other schools if ever (if I had the chance to shift, I would choose between International Health at UP Open University or Community Development at UP Diliman).

However, 2015 was still a year of blessing. First, because I’m still alive. Second, I was more alone in the previous years. Third, God gave me work during the time when I really needed a job.

DLSU has shifted its academic calendar this year. So with this, term break from SY 2014-2015 to SY 2015-2016 would have a gap of 3 months. And I thought to myself, “So what am I gonna do for 3 months? Goof around?!”. But 2 weeks before the term ended, I was notified by my Unicef colleagues that they will contract me for a work for 3 months, which was very timely to fill that 3-month vacation from school. And also just recently when the term ended, I was hired by DepEd to provide support in their workshops and conferences. And I thank God for this blessing.

Fourth, during the times that I felt so alone, I realized that I can also hangout with my choirmates. Before the year ended, I was invited by some of my choirmates to watch a movie. Well it was not perfect, but somehow it made me happy because I realized that I'm not alone. And looking back at hangouts with friends this year, I realized that I really had a few true friends.

Before I forget, looking back at my reflection last year, I said that I didn't know how to face 2015 being a flunker in one of my MBA subjects. But I don’t know. I just looked at my grades one time and found that the failed grade has changed to passing grade. Maybe the special project was worth it.

So this 2016, to make up for what happened to me during the previous year, I’ll just aim to do these things. I’ll just have to stay positive and smile no matter what happens.

For my employment challenges, I’ll just continuously pray for a stable job because I’m already doing my best to apply for as many vacancies as possible. God knows what’s best for me.

For my graduate studies dilemma, I’ll just finish MBA so my personal goal would be met, then apply for at least a Diploma degree on development-related courses.

For my remaining challenges in finding true friends and true love, I’ll just have to continuously pray for it, and like I said, continuously promote good vibes and smile.

2016, let’s go!

[starkitten]

[starkitten]

Birthday greeting (121014)

Benedick: happy birthday!

Me: thank you

Benedick: Rex, halika dito. Usap tayo

Rex: (approached Benedick's work station)

Benedick: maglulunch tayo. Kasama natin si birthday girl

Me: (hurrying to walk away before he finds out that I celebrated my birthday)

Rex: birthday girl? (Joanne,) birthday mo?

Me: nung Saturday

Rex: belated!

Me: thank you

[starkitten]

Vanbreda chat (10/14)

Rex: neneng nene yung picture ah

me: nene parin naman hanggang ngayon eh! haha chos! :D

Rex: o sige na! pagbigyan :P

me: pinagbigyan nalang hahaha

[starkitten]

I'm quite sleepy now haha but I'll take this time to blog about what happened today.

Glad I met these 2 high school friends of mine again. We had our reunion and celebrated Joshua's passing in the Nurse Licensure Exam. We've talked about a lot of things actually. I didn't like it though when the topic of bullying during our high school days was brought up coz it was all in high school. It was nice catching up with them. We've updated ourselves with each others' lives. Though Nina's having a hard time with her family right now, I'm happy for her that her mom has fully recovered.

It was also an honor for me to bring good vibes to our conversations :D

Yup it's only 3 of us now (well it has always been the three of us since high school graduation haha) but who cares? Better to have only 2 quality true good high school friends than to have 10 of them but of no quality at all. I'm glad to have friends like them who never left. Now matter how long we haven't kept in touch with each other, I can always go back to them and they love and understand me whoever I am. I hope it will always be like that

This post is so messed up I'm at a loss for words haha. I'm just so glad that we've met again after around 2 years I think

[starkitten]

My 2014 year

Finally, I had the chance to reflect on the year 2014 and finally welcome the year 2015. The end of the year was too busy for me so there.

Anyway, now let's see what the year 2014 brought me.

Year 2014 was a year of success, joys and challenges; and another year of lessons learned in life.

Last year, I found out that my medical condition wasn't that bad, but I had to comply with a maintenance medicine. At the end of the year, my condition has finally improved. My polycystic ovaries have already reduced and my period has become regular even though I already stopped my maintenance. So now I thank God for my improving condition, but I know I still have to maintain healthy lifestyle if I want more improvement on my health.

This was the year when I met a lot of new people in my life. I was able to join a church choir, Family Choir actually through my one of my mom's church organization. From there, I met lots of people from different walks of life, mostly high school students. And I also found new friendships through co-new members (or whatever you call it haha). Through this choir, I am also able to continuously practice my singing skills, coz I learned in the past that no matter how good you sing, if you rarely use it, it will not be effective. So it was a good thing that I was able to join in this choir.

This was also the year when I thought I wouldn't succeed on some things, but I did.

I mentioned in my last year's blog that my contract in Unicef would be until February only, but guess what? I got a contract from February to June at first, then got extended until December. And I really thank the Lord for that.

Then my parents pushed me to apply for MBA at De La Salle University. I was hesitant at first because I remember not being accepted at UP and UST when I was entering college, and I had a history of not being able to do 2 things at the same time. I remember way back in high school when I was studying and practicing for a musical play at the same time and my grades went down a lot. But at the same time, I have always dreamed of studying in one of the 4 big schools in the Philippines, and I haven't tried applying to DLSU yet. So this must be the time. So I worked on my application requirements (which took time for me to complete), then took the entrance exam (which I am so not sure if I'll pass coz I really had no idea if I'm able to answer the questions correctly), then underwent an interview (which was the most difficult by the way, way worse than job interview experiences). After the application process and while waiting for the result if I'm accepted or not, I thought that I won't be accepted because  of the challenges that I faced during the process. But when I checked one time on the approval of my application status, I got accepted. And I really thank the Lord for that.

But life after those successes were not always bed of roses.

My stay in Unicef made me realize a lot of things that I did not realize in MediCall. Way back in MediCall, we were hesitant to follow up on some things relating to our tasks as per our client's protocol, and apparently it was okay to hesitate on following up, and following up every 3 days is acceptable. But when I entered Unicef, I realized that being hesitant (to follow up) has a minimum room in the workplace, and following up every 3 days will take so long to get things done. So looking back at MediCall days, I was so mediocre way back, which is so not acceptable at Unicef. I learned to be more assertive and learned to have a sense of urgency (which my job at MediCall doesn't have). I've also learned by experience at Unicef that there is no such thing as over communication. My performance was once questioned for not over communicating. I've also learned one more lesson that until now is difficult for me to apply: just be honest and maintain integrity at all times. Just because you tell your boss that you haven't done a task yet doesn't always mean that he'll get mad at you. It may just mean that you don't need to do that task because there were change of plans. I also learned from a prof that no matter how good you are at work, if you don't have integrity, then you are nothing. And life after being extended for a year is not easy when I was told that my stay in Unicef for next year may no longer be possible. But still thanks to my friends and colleagues who are still positive that I will be rehired by Unicef for the year 2015.

In addition to that, there were also times when I felt like I don't belong. I don't wanna elaborate those things in this blog post since experiencing pirated friends last year 2013 was still the worse one compared to this year.

So far, I am enjoying my stay at DLSU because of my classmates and new friends that I met there. However, it was not always easy. I had to face the world of failing quiz scores, failing midterms and mediocre recitation grades. I was able to succeed in those subjects so far. However, life after being accepted at DLSU is not easy when I got a failed grade in one subject (which I asked for reconsideration and got a response to resubmit a project but I got the response too late but I responded and resubmitted the project anyway and I don't know if it will still be accepted for reconsideration), which is a difficult way for me to learn one lesson: if someone tells you don't enroll with that prof, SERIOUSLY, DON'T.

This was also the year when I know I've lost a friend, for real now, Alvin. I posted a note on my realisation from my bittersweet memories with him. Then he reacted like I never treated him the way he treated me and that I was selfish according to him. He even blocked me on Facebook but then unblocked me afterwards. Not exactly the closure I was expecting (if that was already the closure since he said that that would be the last time that he'll chat with me) but I guess that was really goodbye.

But while there was one who unfriend me, there is a friend who I thought have lost forever but here she is again, Gela. Well, she just chatted with me again on FB and asked me how I am. I said I was fine and asked her if she isn't mad at me anymore. She just told me that our last fight was just a kid fight and should be forgotten. Well, we weren't as close as we were before but I'm just glad that we're in good terms now.

This was also the year when I was able to travel and explore outside the country, Singapore. I was able to appreciate this country's order and discipline. And I was also able to appreciate one of their tourists spots, Gardens by the Bay, where they emphasize the importance of being environment friendly to reduce global warming. I believe that our country can also imitate Singapore's order and discipline in the future.

I also learned one more lesson: be careful what you wish for, because you just might get more than what you wish for. You'll find out why at the end of this paragraph. You see, I was also looking forward to meeting "the one". But unfortunately this year, every guy that I meet and like is taken. But despite that, I still got lucky somehow in my crush life. I guess it was love at second sight when I saw his picture in an email announcement that Rex is the new HR team member. Too bad that for unknown means, the HR team found out immediately that I was crushing on him (well bad for me at least). And too bad that he's taken. But I guess it's not so bad because his behavior doesn't intend to catch me when I fall, but at the same time nice enough for me not to be put to shame in front of many people. During Unicef's Christmas Party, I decided to sing a song coz I wanted him to greet me that I'm a good singer. He greeting me that I'm a good singer would be more than enough for me. But this is what happened. After singing a line, people pushed me and him to dance with each other. It was a point of no return, so we danced. It was an awkward moment, but it was the first time that I danced with a guy that I really like, and I liked it. I've never even encountered a dance with my first love. Too bad encountering with him for next year is uncertain, but at the same time I feel lucky I met someone like him.

Overall, it had been a wonderful year. I would like to thank God for another year that He has given me and the people who had been with me for this year. They know who they are.

At first, I didn't know how to face 2015 unemployed and a flunker in one of my MBA subjects. But I still have to stay positive and apply the lessons that the year 2014 has taught me.

I'll use this year 2015 to redeem myself, at work and at school. I've done my best to make myself available to everyone at Unicef if ever they will be needing additional people. I'll also find a way on how to rise from my failed grade in one of my MBA subjects. These are my priority for now. So help me God.

Let's all face 2015 with hope and love in our hearts. Happy new year everyone! :)

[starkitten]

[starkitten]

Just started with the first week of the second term and I just attended the Business Law class. Since it was the first day, we were asked to introduce ourselves, including our undergrad course and school. Then I realized that majority of my classmates came from UP, DLSU, and UST, while I came from a school which is not one of them (I'm not from Ateneo, so I'm not a graduate of those 4 big schools), and I felt kind of degraded because of that. But that realization also broke one of my previous mentalities, that DLSU Graduate School accepts all students, and I'm just part of that "all". And I got accepted just because my dad helped me get accepted; though I try not to say that he's my father, I can't hide my surname when I was applying. So maybe I got accepted because I also had the potential to study in one of the 4 big schools in the Philippines after all. So maybe I'm also as great as a UP or DLSU graduate after all. So maybe I got accepted at DLSU because of my own effort and not because my dad is a part-time professor there. I thank the Lord for this wonderful blessing :)