‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.
but see, you promised. you said you’d never get tired of the bad poems or the ten-page stories that never go anyplace, you said you’d always make time to read what i wrote for you because nobody else ever did, you said that you’d never get tired of my passion. you said that every morning would be a good morning if i was beside you. you said that my constant chatter was okay because you liked hearing me talk and besides, without it the silences would get so long. you said it was alright that i’m sort of a mess and kinda lost a lot and generally pretty useless.
i guess you lied about that. i guess you lied about a lot of things, like being okay towards the end when we both know stuff wasn’t okay at all. like how you found me attractive. even hot. even beautiful.
i wish you hadn’t said forever. i wish you had told me that you’d eventually get tired of me like everybody else does. i wish you hadn’t let me put all of my faith into your palms because i swear i honestly believed in you, in the future, in all of it.
but see. you promised.
Moving out to California I met my dear friend Ashley who happens to be deaf. I am super into music and it’s crazy because you connect and feel certain ways because of the things you hear but you don’t realize that some people don’t get that connection so now I blast my favorite songs with her with the bass up high so that she can feel the bass. I just started signing but I try to learn every song so that she can see and feel what I’m feeling. This is us today to AMTRAC - You Haunt Me. We are crazy.
One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.
A year ago, everything was different .
I wouldn’t have pictured myself like this ,
And now that I look back, I have realized that a year can do a lot to a person .
(via latterman)
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