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still-worship-this-love · 6 months

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Swiftgron Shows Up, Liz Spirals (March 2012 - September 2012)

This is not going to be a timeline of Swiftgron and their relationship. For that, you can go to the @swiftgronmasterpost. This is just to show how, when things got serious with Dianna, things deteriorated between Taylor and Liz:

25 March 2012 - Swiftgron go watch the Hunger Games together. Taylor follows Dianna on Twitter afterwards. This is likely their first actual date:

27 March 2012 - Liz tweets this:

Was this in response to Swifgron’s first date? Maybe. Was Liz jealous Taylor had pulled the exact same move on Dianna that she’d pulled on her back in 2009 when she took her to Valentine’s Day? Also maybe. But also maybe not. Still, #Lizgototherapychallenge.

30 March 2012 - Taylor introduces Dianna to her mom, they all get dinner together:

12 April 2012 - Dianna blows a kiss to Taylor on Jimmy Kimmel.

18 April 2012 - Mutual friend Chantelle tweets that she spent the night and early morning hanging out with TayLiz.

Chantelle will post a picture of her, Taylor and Liz hanging out in a kitchen together almost a year later – when the girls don’t seem to be on speaking terms – making me think this picture was taken on this night:

24 April 2012 - Swiftgron Shirley MacLane party happens:

27 April 2012 - Taylor and someone (possibly Liz) are papped getting lunch together in LA. The secret message for the song “The Last Time,” which will be written in a few months, is “LA On Your Break.” They’re certainly in LA, and the tour is certainly on break. Perhaps this is Taylor finally ending things with Liz.

Liz tweets at Taylor about Skittles later that day, making me think it was her at lunch.

28 April 2012 - Dianna’s birthday party. Taylor dresses as a tiger and leaves a note on the door with a joke they’d made that reads “I’m a little kitten and I need to nurse because I’m a runt and I’m likely to fall victim to predators.”

10 May 2012 - Taylor posts on Instagram “Going back to Nashville. Thinking about the whole thing. Guess you gotta run sometimes.”

This is from the song Nashville by David Mead. Other interesting lyrics include:

You’re a distant memory, you’re an exit sign I was talking crazy on the driver’s side

I was talking crazy on the driver’s side I will always love you like a long goodbye

The driving references are interesting, considering that Red has the theme of driving all over it. “I will always love you like a long goodbye” also seems to support the theory that Taylor has just finally broken things off with Liz.

15 May 2012 - Taylor finishes writing Everything Has Changed with Ed Sheeran then gets dinner with Dianna Ashley and Claire. The original lyrics of Everything Has Changed talk about “falling for a Gemini,” which describes Gemini Liz, but Taylor seems to have re-fitted the song to be about Dianna and removed those lyrics:

27 May 2012 - Liz’s birthday. Taylor does not tweet at her. No pictures are posted of the party, if there is one.

28 May 2012 - Taylor and Ed record Everything Has Changed:

Late May 2012 - Taylor writes The Last Time:

Here’s what she had to say about the inspiration for the song:

The Last Time is a hard song for me to analyze, not because I don’t have theories about what it means, but because I think Taylor is oversimplifying the story here. To me, looking at this song, assuming it’s about Liz, it reads less like a pleading “baby I want you back” song, and more like an “I’m losing you to addiction song.”

We haven’t fully gotten into this yet, but Liz was dealing with a lot of mental and internal shit at this time. According to rumor, she’s about to be let go from The Agency due to getting “out of control,” and the songs she writes this summer, including Wreck of Who I Am, definitely seem to imply she was trying to claw her way out of a spiral here. When I listen to The Last Time through this lens, it feels more like a last chance, pleading intervention.

Wreck of Who I Am:

And the tide is strong that it keeps me from the land

And I’m low on faith and I pray with shaky hands

Well it hurts like hell tryna tell myself

This ain’t the only thing that’s meant for me

Gotta piece back together the wreck of who I am

The Last Time

This is the last time I’m asking you this

Put my name at the top of your list

This is the last time I’m asking you why

You break my heart in the blink of an eye

And there’s also the fact that The Last Time seems like it was written on if not around Liz’s birthday (May 27).

3 June 2012 - Dianna jokes at the GLAAD Awards about having kissed girls before:

4 June 2012 - Liz does some songwriting of her own with Seth Jones and Megan Mace:

Taylor and Liz’s dresses from Mean are placed next to each other at the Speak Now Tour Exhibition:

10 June 2012 - Taylor diaries about recording 22, and IKYWT, says she’s already written WANEGBT:

Story behind WANEGBT: I wrote it with Max Martin and Johan Shellback who are two of my songwriting heroes, they’re amazing. And we were in the studio, and we were writing a different song and this guy walks in who I- was- A friend of someone I had previously… dated. And he comes in and he’s like “Oh, I hear you and [redacted] are getting back together” and um that was like his opening line. And we weren’t. We’d done that whole like on/off on/off just the worst. Bleh. And um… And so when he left I just turned to Max and I was like “We are never getting back together. What? That’s ridiculous!” Um and I told them the whole situation as I do ‘cause I tend to share, as you know. And so uh he just looked at me and he was like “I know the song we’re writing today. Let’s start a new one.” And so I got the guitar and it just sort of happened and so uh this is that song.

So what we know from this is that it is HIGHLY more likely that a friend of Liz just happened to walk into the studio that day than a friend of either Jake or Dianna (I’m guessing someone from The Agency maybe? Taylor seems to fumble when choosing how to describe them)

Martin and Shellback are credited on three songs on red – WANEGBT, IKYWT, and 22. We know Taylor wrote 22 here. She also says she “came back to trouble.” From that I can assume they were trying to write IKYWT when this story took place.

The secret message for WANEGBT is “When I stopped caring what you thought.” To me, this really signals things have broken down between them. Rather than the pleading in The Last Time, this is song is much more distant and moved on, where Taylor is able to have a sense of humor about the breakup.

18 June 2012 - A friend of Liz’s tweets this at Taylor (am I the only one sensing some shade??):

1 July 2012 - Liz does some songwriting in Nashville:

Between this session and the session on the fourth, presumably the songs she’d release later that winter (One Hand On the Wheel, Wreck of Who I Am, and Blessed Are the Brokenhearted) are written here, making it seem like Liz is processing both some depression and a breakup of some sort.

8 July 2012 - Taylor takes pictures with a fan at a coffee shop (presumably in Nashville). According to the fan’s account, Liz was also there, sitting at the table behind them. The fan ends up taking pictures with both Liz and Taylor:

I’m not entirely sure what this means for them. Obviously Taylor has just written The Last Time (presumably about Liz) and then gone off to Hy(i)annis port with Dianna to go frolic in the waves and all that, so I don’t think this means TayLiz is back on. However, we know from fan accounts (which I’ll get to in a second) that Liz thought she was going to be coming on the Red Tour until she was let go from The Agency in September. Perhaps this is some amount of reconciliation? A check in? An ultimatum to get her act together or she won’t be allowed on tour?

Truthfully, we can’t know for sure. But this is one of their last hang outs together (that we know of) this year.

13 August 2012 - Taylor’s Red Youtube Webchat. She describes what some of the songs on the album are about

22: This is a song that I wrote with Max Martin and Johan Shellback and it’s a song about the way I spent my summer when I was finishing this album. Kind of hanging out with my friends all the time and I really decided that I love being twenty two. It’s um kind of my favorite age that I’ve ever been. I kind of have like different theories of the years in my life and like what they meant and 22 has been so much fun. It’s- it’s been so much fun and I decided to write a song about that and just all the ridiculous nonsense that my friends and I got into. And, um, so this one’s called 22.

Treacherous: This is a song that I wrote with Dan Wilson… I’ve always wanted to work with him. So I called him and um it turned out that he was into the idea of working with me. And um so I went in with this idea and uh we wrote a song about when you’re falling for someone and you know that it’s dangerous. And you know that it could really really really really really just annihilate you if it were to not work out and it could possibly not work out and it probably won’t work out, but you go for it anyway. And so this is called Treacherous.

31 August 2012 - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is released as a single. The MV features the rest of the Agency, but not Liz. Fans take notice.

13 September 2012 - The news breaks that Liz is leaving The Agency and will not be on the Red Tour:

Interestingly enough, according to the L Chat, Liz had been telling fans that she was planning on going on the Red Tour before this point, so something must’ve happened:

And because of this fan encounter below, we have somewhat of an idea of what it was:

So from the combined events of this summer we know this about Liz being let go:

1) Liz wrote songs that summer about having a hard time and trying to claw her way out of it.

2) Taylor and Liz met up twice that summer, and Taylor did not acknowledge Liz’s birthday publicly.

3) Taylor may have written The Last Time, a song about begging someone to choose you over other things (possibly addiction) on Liz’s birthday.

4) Liz thought she was going on The Red Tour.

5) Liz was fired for “getting out of control.”

The picture this paints to me is that, while Liz was spiraling, Taylor was trying to help her, using coming on the Red Tour as a reward for getting her act together. When she ultimately couldn’t, presumably after that meeting in July, Taylor had no choice but to ask her to leave the Agency, since hardcore intense tour life is likely the last thing Liz needed to get better. This is a really difficult and hard situation, regardless of whether or not the two women were ever sexually or romantically involved.

Fortunately, as we’ll see moving forward, this seems to be the wake up call Liz needed to start the process of getting back on her feet. However, it’s clear that for at least a little bit after this, Taylor became a taboo topic around Liz. But ask anyone who’s dealt with addiction or helped a friend/family member through it – there’s some resentment that’s bound to happen, even towards the people trying to help.

20 September 2012 - Liz spends “quality time” with Claire and Taylor:

I personally read this as one last hurrah of the trio after Liz was not asked back for the Red Tour. The “not mad at this day” feels a little weird to me too, and I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be shade or not. Either way, this is the last major interaction between Taylor and Liz for a while.

IN CONCLUSION: Liz had her demons. Whether this is what caused the end of her and Taylor’s relationship or something else, it’s almost certainly what caused her to not be asked back on the Red Tour. In the winter, she would release the music she was writing over the summer, making it clear she was going through some shit, probably not helped by seeing Taylor so obviously move on with Dianna. But this is the low point. Things with Liz can only go up from here.

Liz After the Agency (September 2012 - September 2014)

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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“I like cancelled plans. And empty bookstores. I like rainy days. And thunderstorms. And quiet coffee shops. I like messy beds and over-worn pajamas. Most of all, I like the small joys that a simple life brings.”

— Unknown

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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MBTI : lovers edition

INTJ: falling for them, like falling into the first page of a book you know is going to be your favourite. you'll be taken into a mind, a world, a story, a mind, a world you can't help but choose to dive into again and again, again (again like in mitski's pink in the night again like Taiga to Ryuji after they kiss). you fall like rain (and you know there'll be thunder and lightning if they fall too)

ENFP: fighting over who gets to lick the spoon clean of cake batter, a little naive but strong-hearted, nicknames and inside jokes, road-trips with best-friends, lazy laughter and a crooked smile, staying up late talking to someone and realizing it's already morning only when the hazy sunlight peeks through the blinds at dawn, you find yourself loving life.. but you wonder if thats simply because they're in it

INFJ: you didn't know you were waiting until you met them and now they're everything , they're the warmth of your skin under the golden sun-rays , cold feet curled under a cozy blanket, the fresh smell of spring rainfall , kisses on birthmarks, soul gazing into soul , languages spoken with a mere touch , long car rides with windows wound all the way down just to feel the wind in your hair and the joy of life , with them you're infinite ,to you they do what the spring does to the earth ... make you feel a l i v e , they're a breathe of life and your constellation that guides the way to heaven and back , its an intertwining love that grows like a rose vine over your stone walls and blooms into a eternal spring .., youve found the peace that many seek yet few find and you'll feel like the luckiest person alive.. treasure them

ENFJ: cooking up late brunch together , dancing to the music still in pyjamas , hersheys kisses left under pillows , they'll never hold anything back ..in love , life and even in fights- they'll never back down when it comes to you

ISFP: honey coated lips and a face gifted by the moon, kissing in the rain kissing to rid the pain, they remind you of sunsets, warm days at the beach , hand in hand with your lover, under blue skies and witnessing an even bluer ocean , candid photos of loved ones with an silver birch frame , tucking flowers behind their ear, their name engraved in your heart

INFP: soft calm evening lulling you into sleep , nuzzling into their side, surrendering to their warmth ..hands tangled into the sleeves of their sweater and breathing in their scent, with them the shields come down and the laughter comes unbounded , leaping out and taking flight like an eagle soaring in the sky freed from gravity and from the noise of the world that compares nothing to the one you have with them..and in moments with them you'll find happiness come to rest by your side

ISFJ: hummed melodies , touring around the streets of Paris and have crepes by the Seine, shy glances, sneaking into the kitchen at night and kissing the powdered sugar off their lips after a midnight snack of doughnuts , hearts carved in a tree - eyes on me

ISTP: their presence is all you need to shield you from the moments you'd rather forget, a hidden passion that burns fierce like forest fire and heart as warm as a hearth

ESTP: falling in love with them is falling in love with a storm a whirlwind of emotions mesmerizing yet chaotic you'll never let go , a love that consumes you , a tumult of emotions as gripping as it it chaotic , if grounded will climb up a tree and knock on ur window at 4am cause in their defence 'a whole day without you is a whole day too long'

INTP: will make you question all the universe with a most wonderful sense of doubt., a glow of warmth under a cold exterior ,you never need to pretend with them ..with them you can be whoever you want to be , they'll never feel like a stranger but perhaps one day they'll never feel like someone at all (they'll feel like everything)

ISTJ : museum dates and art gallery rendezvous, the cold expressions mask a hopeless romantic, sudden and intense bouts of Feelings at 2 a.m, likes to think they're tough but melts in your arm when you hold them

ISTP: They walk in and smile at you and suddenly you're ready for an adventure, a motorcycle ride at 1 am and you've never felt more alive. when their arms around you though.. you've never felt safer. There's a whole lot to them under their cool but sturdy exterior , a raging storm or perhaps a calming lake just like the ones where they first taught you how to skip stones.. strong arms around you their face right next to yours hearts racing and fluttering. Theres something inexpressible about them...perhaps thats what makes you turn to them every time.

ENTP: falling in love with them is falling in love with a storm and you'll find yourself falling faster than the torrential rain you're under , drowning yet floating , theres lightning within you and the thunder is the command of fate to never let go , love is one never-ending game, love isn't just love for them , its everything , it a adventure , a journey , a surprise , a game , the feeling of coming home , night vs day , all of it transpiring between the moments spent with you and thinking of you, type to say "do you trust me" with gleaming eyes and a mischievous grin as they hold out a hand so you can go with them to do something rebellious (you rlly shouldn't trust them but you always do anyway)

ENTJ: they dont yearn they want..and want gives way to desire..and to desire is to need, competitive but will let you win just to fondly watch you rub it in with glee (theres the most tender soft smile on their face but theyll never admit) , hard to fall in love with them but even harder to fall out , hickeys hidden under Dior scarves , whispered propositions on necks , hiding the smile playing upon your lips by sipping coffee gone cold , possessive arms wrapped around your waist

ESFP: makes you a playlist when they can't find the right words to convey their feelings, "so many things to do with you but so little time," wears their heart on their sleeves, falls fast and might get hurt in the crash but would do it all over again for you, they're unapologetically themselves and you love them for that, you just hope they love you as much as you love them

ESTJ: They've got your back, always. Sometimes you need it, sometimes it's even before you realise: they're the cup of coffee placed into your hand when you have to work a late night, they're the advice you didn't know you needed. More than anything, they're the place you can finally relax, because they'll hold everything together for you. They'll hold you up. If you're lucky, they'll let you hold them up too. Stronger, together.

ESFJ:theres something about them , maybe its the way they look at you with eyes full of childlike wonder and joy and trust , the way they make everyone else in the world dissapear so you know as long as you have them you have it all , maybe its magic maybe its fate or maybe just maybe its something called Love ..maybe thats the feeling you have right now , what it feels like to be in a sunflower's dream, lost in the waves with a pearl in your hand ...or what it feels like to finally finally have something to lose, something thats yours, its not a case of loving them so much youd die for them ..its a case of loving them so much youd l i v e for them

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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i wanna commit some lesbianism

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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moongazing

patreon // check more of my work on instagram // buy prints here

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still-worship-this-love · 7 months

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Show me love (ep.7)

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still-worship-this-love · 9 months

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MBTI : lovers edition

ISTP: their presence is all you need to shield you from the moments you'd rather forget, a hidden passion that burns fierce like forest fire and heart as warm as a hearth

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still-worship-this-love · 9 months

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estj

- smiling in public, frowning when alone - appreciative of the art in movies and songs - never off social media - has trouble not seeing people as uncooperative chess pieces - big spender - says yes to every party and isn’t shy to contact friends, aka a networking god - beauty enthusiast but prefers natural and professional-looking stuff - actually tries to complete bucket list - hard to please, has clear preferences and never settles

esfj

- considers eating the main event of every getaway - throws the best parties - ‘golden retriever’ strategy for making friends: “just jump them” - works hard when not distracted by coworkers - remembers everything everyone has ever said and is touchy about dates - patiently explains to everyone why what they’ve said was socially unacceptable… ok, maybe just to me? - likes the idea of charity but isn’t idealistic about it - knows you’re around by the sound of your footsteps, like a puppy

istj

- works hard to hide weeaboo side - finds work relaxing - would probably enjoy the challenge of being a castaway - the kind of parent that scares away boy/girlfriends - has THE nerdiest hobbies - attempts professional fashion - probably the most reliable person in everyone’s lives - likes being pushed to improve and to be supported more than comforted - always happy to info dump - love language is being given their favorite coffee blend

isfj

- claims to dislike ‘messy animals’ but lives for their pets - loves action movies with big battles - work-oriented but easily distracted by gossip, as is esfj - always the voice of reason - pretends to not be a hopeless romantic - cautious to the point of anxiety; would, however, survive the apocalypse - despises gaudy, likes natural tones and classical fashion - nice but easy to offend and disappoint - dog-lover that can easily be made a crazy cat person - can’t watch nature documentaries without feeling sorry for the planet/prey

entj

- almost always dressed for a job interview - can’t work in a messy room - obsessed with life hacks and goals - preoccupied with drawing the potential out of things and people - jokes without smiling. good at poker - can be surprisingly reckless and hot-headed - likes fancy stuff and doesn’t mind paying for it - other than 'studying’, hobbies are traveling and exercising. cannot relax - cynical when young, now likes the idea of spiritualism - selective about the people they spend time with

entp

- knows the solution to all problems but still has many problems - can’t help but worry that they talk too much and too quickly - literal pyromaniac. likes the color red as much as enfp - lights up every room they’re in… - takes nothing seriously, except video games. judges people who skip cutscenes and name their characters badly - soul leaves body during boring activities - criticizes action movies’ physics and combat - considerate but doesn’t hold back during arguments - attached to weirdly specific things and moody about them - irritatingly decent at everything - at risk of laughing during a funeral

intj

- pretends to not care but has secret vent blogs - blog/avatar/website is minimal and monochromatic OR sparkly and rainbow - seems shy from a distance but really isn’t - bitter about lots of things; chooses to cope alone in 'rational’ ways - religiously relies on to-do lists, which i find adorable - practices fiction writing by roleplaying and creating characters - hides nerdy side by acting professionally - uses fashion to make a statement - likes cute-creepy things - researches everything about a place before visiting - doesn’t mind friends who show up twice a year

intp

- has considered going to jail for alone time - routinely baffled by people - can’t play horror games, gets too much into it - unintentionally offends everyone - feared until seen as a dork, then is never again taken seriously - dreams of uploading the internet into brain and vice-versa - minimalist to maximize free time; wastes it by daydreaming - always late, starving, and sleep-deprived - can’t enjoy anything without also criticizing it - slow to understand dirty jokes - could spend whole life studying everything and achieving nothing - rebellious, always trying to 'hack the system’

enfj

- adores art in general; singing, writing, sewing, acting, painting… - makes getting along with everyone at work a priority - jokingly? uses terrifying memory to emotionally blackmail people - often stressed juggling many projects, lives on coffee - cheerleader sort. will fight you for wasting your potential - probably the most extrovert person everyone knows - more cunning than they present themselves - dresses to impress

enfp

- shows up with a meme after 6 months of radio silence - can’t stop talking yet insists they’re shy - has too many interests and projects. finishes anything by divine intervention - fascinated by fire and the color red, same for entp - acts like a dork but is sharp and opinionated - can’t do anything soulless, has to have ‘willpower’ and ‘inspiration’ - can’t see their natural talents - has serious regrets for someone still reckless - will name their children after videogame characters - Sinammon roll

infj

- piercing gaze is somehow also dreamy - trust issues. likes gathering intel before 'investing’ on someone and to have the upper hand - perfectionist whose work is never done - researches a lot before buying something expensive and then cherishes it - worries about seeming unapproachable - puts too much effort into planning their house decor - diplomatic as possible just before door-slamming people - never deletes anything from computer - surprisingly hard to please - loves shipping characters and people and analysing their compatibility

infp

- clumsy, may apologize to inanimate objects they bump into - loves photography/cosplaying/fashion but shy to expose themselves - idealized future is a coffee shop AU - serious fangirl/boy but dislikes shipping wars. has fanart folders - listens to surprisingly edgy music - surprisingly good with details, remembering dates, being on time, etc. but room is messy - people-pleaser but not a doormat; has a strong sense of justice - cherishes gifts forever - doesn’t like killing bugs but is fine with gory movies - kinda bonkers about cats

estp

- ambitious and restless, always looking for fun, opportunities, and shortcuts - has many friends and enemies - “hands off” kind of boss but overly critical when bothered - can’t end the day without pushing someone’s buttons - confidence is a two-edged sword - secretly soft for sweet people - too generous with their time and money - hates hypocrisy, but judges rule-breakers while being one themselves - blames the world when feeling stifled. sometimes disappears - reckless to the point that death/jail time would surprise no one

isfp

- wants fame but avoids attention like the plague - shares about 15% of their artsy side - great at being sneaky - collects pretty little trinkets - hopeless romantic. has stashes of love letters/novels/manga - loves animals but would rather die than touch a slug - loves fashion but is too shy to wear anything daring, slowly works on confidence and external identity - can be surprisingly cold - hates stress more than anyone - seen as a cinnamon roll even when being rude

esfp

- lives for the memes - gets away with everything. would probably get away with murder. - cannot hurt a fly (unless drunk and doing stupid shit; actually, sometimes bites) - never seen truly angry, ever - ideal habitat is hippie/surfing camp with a nearby nightclub - loves all animals, especially silly-looking ones - becomes driven when the situation requires and when stressed - always moving and meeting new people out of boredom - good at games and plays for fun

istp

- likes the idea of the military/police but has trouble following orders - oblivious when being flirted with - carefree but reliable when it counts (and not pranking you) - quiet and even quieter when moody. hates failing and being unable to fix a situation - a genius at whatever they put their mind into (for two days tops) - wears the same jacket everywhere, sometimes doesn’t comb their hair, sleep schedule is nonexistent - good at games and plays to win

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