stinky-fuck-swag

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Paladin Tourney - Submissions OPEN closed, preliminary polls will be up soon!

Welcome, one and all, to the Paladin Tourney! Here, we will pit our beloved knights in shining armor against each other to determine who is Tumblr's favorite paladin!

I'm loosely defining "paladin" as any character who is, or who resembles, a paladin or knight, in either appearance or personality. They may wear the iconic shining armor, have an oath that they're fiercely determined to keep, or just have the vibes.

Tourney rules:

Be kind. You're welcome to make propaganda for or against characters, but don't attack people over who they vote for. Being racist, ableist, homophobic, or otherwise bigoted gets you blocked.

Please don't submit characters from Harry Potter, Attack on Titan, Vivziepop, or South Park. No OCs either, sorry. I probably won't accept submissions from real life unless you can make a good case for them in the propaganda section.

You can submit multiple characters, but please don't submit the same character multiple times unless you need to add or change something. Fill out the form separately for each character unless you want them to go together as a team.

If there's something wrong or you have tips for improving the tourney, please let me know! I've never run a Tumblr tournament before so I don't really know what I'm doing.

Submissions are closed, and polls will be up soon!

Inspiration/Tagging for exposure (I'd appreciate it if you reblogged but of course you don't have to!): @tournament-announcer @wearepaladin @pinkhairswagtourney @annoyingblondebracket @the-ballerina-battle @bnuuy-bracket @stinky-fuck-swag @cringefaillosersummit @jerktournament @fictional-actors-bracket @platonic-pals-punchout @overworkedblorbobattle @spookygirlautumnbracket @battleoftheicyfreaks @battle-of-the-bowlcuts @retirement-home-rumble @our-favourite-orcs @besttropeveershowdown @best-bff-brawl @generic-anime-boy-bracket @arrowtossingtournament @elementspecificcharatourney @doomed-bythe-narrative @transhet-tourney

#other polls

[stinky-fuck-swag]

cant give a solid date for any polls bc i amm not doin well and this week will be busy n draining as fuck agaiin! theyll either be posted this weekend or next week, sorry-

#mod rambles #not a poll #polls arent hard to make but they do take a lot of time to get thru andi dont have time

[stinky-fuck-swag]

wait how do you actually spell michael aftons name

is it el or al?????? what??? help?

google says micheal but the submitter says michael?? this is so minor omg i am going insane

#not a poll #mod rambles

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Anders and Isabela have tied and will move on to Round 2 as a duo!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 3

Anders (Dragon Age) VS Isabela (Dragon Age)

Propaganda under the cut!

Anders:

he lives in a sewer and we have no proof he bathes.

Isabela:

Quote #1 "What's that foul smell? Is that you? No, wait... That's just me." Quote #2 "I think I need a bath. Do you think I need a bath?" Canonically stinky and does not bathe enough. Also, unrelated, but she's a pirate :]

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

WELL THAT WAS A LITTLE LONGER THAN 2 HOURS WHOOPS BUT! Looks like any ties from now on will have the characters team up!

I'll consider any polls that end with 50/50 a tie, though if it does come to it, something like 49/51 may be considered a tie too!

uhh... well?

We have a tie! Anders and Isabela tied! Wasnt expecting any ties in round 1, but here we are!

#mod rambles

[stinky-fuck-swag]

ill probably only let this poll go for like an hour or two and then take whatevers winning at that point as the answer!

Bracket A side B will be coming out today or tomorrow!

uhh... well?

We have a tie! Anders and Isabela tied! Wasnt expecting any ties in round 1, but here we are!

#mod rambles

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Spamton G. Spamton, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 16

Spamton G. Spamton (Deltarune) VS Susie (Deltarune)

Propaganda under the cut!

Spamton G. Spamton:

dude lived in a dumpster for who knows how long. his shop is at a trash pile. i refuse to believe he somehow isn't the stinkiest darkner

Susie:

she's a teenage probably-delinquent who's implied to not have a good home life she probably showers like once a month at most. she has stinky bastard energy.

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Berdly, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 15

Elon Musk (real life) VS Berdly (Deltarune)

Propaganda under the cut!

Elon Musk:

He is super stinky, he buys things and then runs them to the ground

Berdly:

His gamertag is SmartGamer. He wants to turn the world into a Smartopia. He's not even that smart. He's a teenage boy. You already know he uses 3-in-1.

#poll results #LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Jotaro Kujo, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 14

Tokkori (Kirby right back at ya) VS Jotaro Kujo (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

Propaganda under the cut!

Tokkori:

Because they are a bird and he doesn't shower, plus he is very rude

Jotaro Kujo:

He spend 50(ish) days traveling from Japan to Egypt and ONLY wore his school uniform. Also he doesnt wear socks with his shoes.

#poll results #have fun against gyro buddy

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Gyro Zepelli, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 13

Gyro Zepelli (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure) VS Guido Mista (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

Propaganda under the cut! (Possible spoilers)

Gyro Zepelli:

He goes on a horse race across america and doesnt take a shower for i believe the whole time and he decides to bring a teddy bear to the race instead of toilet paper because he thinks he can use leaves instead. he also just got those stinky vibes while still being pretty which i think is a true achievement

Guido Mista:

Canonically stinky. At one point he swaps bodies with another character, who comments on how bad he smells. His entire thing is being really good with a gun and being able to redirect bullets. He is injured 38 times throughout Golden Wind and somehow 35 of those injuries are from his own bullets. Incredible.

at one point the characters body swap and the character Mista swaps with (Trish) says he's stinky

he's canonically stinky. I love this man so much I love every bit of him. his stand. his goofiness. his fear of the number 4. I love him

Canonically smells. During a bodyswap scene the character that got swapped into his body talks about how bad he smells and unhygienic he is. Literally no reason to be like this either he just chooses this life. Also he wears a cashmere crop-top sweater and leather pants in summertime Italy which really amplifies the stink.

(Mod note: One of the submitters, when asked for an image of Guido, said "brother use whatever image you find on google that ur heart desires. they’re all equally bad" and that is genuinely one of the funniest things you couldve said bestie. thanks for the laugh)

#poll results #you guys do know hes going up against Jotaro next right?

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Shinjiro Aragaki, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 12

Shinjiro Aragaki (Persona 3) VS Ryuji Sakamoto (Persona 5)

Propaganda under the cut!

Shinjiro Aragaki:

He had a dorm room reserved just for him, but he willingly chose to live in the shady back-alleys behind the train station instead. He never wears literally anything except for the same exact sweater, jacket, and hat, and he spends most of his time around smokers and drinkers. Also, the only friend he talks about from the streets is literally the owner of a shady nightclub. What I'm saying is that he absolutely stinks like sweat and cigarette smoke and alcohol and garbage and I don't feel bad about saying that because he was never actually homeless. He could've gone to do his laundry at the dorm at any time, even if he didn't want to sleep there. But no.

Ryuji Sakamoto:

Always works out!!! Always on that grind!!! Sweaty stinky man!!!!!

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Caleb Widogast, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 11

Dob the Half Orc Bard (Oxventure Dungeons and Dragons) VS Caleb Widogast (Critical Role campaign 2)

Propaganda under the cut!

Dob the Half Orc Bard:

He cannonicaly rarely bathes and it is mentioned many times he carries an odor with him. Also he has to spend a lot of time around lakes to dump gold in them.

Caleb Widogast:

In one of the first episodes (the first? It’s been a while) another character points out that he smells really bad. Full out just says “you should take a bath.” They don’t know each other. Also, he’s covered in grime as a defense mechanism because he’s a big criminal. So people think he’s just a homeless dude but actually he’s on the run.

Deliberately smelly king, to help him in hiding from the government.

It started out as a "Why did you mention a shower, something modern which I wouldn't know, in a medieval fantasy world?" joke, but him not bathing and being filthy became a running joke. He even carries around bat guano in his pockets! Sure, he needs it to cast spells, but still, it does not help your case, Caleb. Also he once smeared said bat guano all over his face to prove a point.

Lived on the streets for years after running away from the prestigious academy he was attending. Never bathed and another member of the party brings up how bad he smells a lot.

literally wore the world's nastiest coat filled with bat shit & sulphur. canon stinky man

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Shaggy Rogers, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 10

Yoda (Star Wars) VS Shaggy Rogers (Scooby Doo)

Propaganda under the cut!

Yoda:

Lives alone in a bog

Shaggy:

just look at him

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Lt. Columbo, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 9

Link (Breath of the Wild) VS Lt. Columbo (Columbo)

Propaganda under the cut!

Link:

Never bathes, outside fighting things most of the time, and smells like a monster (according to Kilton). He never bathes, unless swimming in pond water counts. He gets covered in sweat and dirt and Hylia-knows-what from the monsters he kills every day. When he approaches Kilton's shop, Kilton assumes it's a monster based on the smell. Overall just a very smelly little man. Stinky Linky.

Lt. Columbo:

he looks like shit he eats chili all the time he probably sleeps in his car with his big ass dog and he keeps boiled eggs in his raincoat pocket (that's literally true) he smells so fucking bad I just know it

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Moonbeam McSwine, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 8

Moonbeam McSwine (Li'l Abner) VS Marc Spector (Marvel Comics)

Propaganda under the cut!

Moonbeam McSwine:

Her whole deal is that she's a beautiful but filthy and lazy woman who lives in in a pigpen with the pigs and refuses to ever bathe.

Marc Spector:

Because he hasn't showered for weeks, hasn't took care of his hair, hasn't shaved WHILE WEARING A SPOOKY GHOST COSTUME AND CRIME FIGHTING, he also lived in the sewers (And yes, this is all canon material)

#poll results

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Dimple, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 7

Reigen Arataka (Mob Psycho 100) VS Dimple (Mob Psycho 100)

Propaganda under the cut!

Reigen Arataka:

Stinky personality boy. You know him you hate him stinky as fuck boy

Dimple:

I know he is a ghost and not a corporeal living being but i'm positive he stinks. He looks like a fucking fart cloud

#poll results #wasnt expecting this but it makes sense

[stinky-fuck-swag]

Congratulations to Stunky, who will be moving on to Round 2!

Stinky Fuck Swag Bracket A Side A: Round 1, Match 6

Stunky (Pokemon) VS Stinkeye (Yo-kai Watch)

Propaganda under the cut!

Stunky:

Skunk Pokemon! Pokedex entry says its spray smells so bad that it drives away people and pokemon within like a mile. my starter got beaten up by this fuck once. and now shes the one beating them up.

Stinkeye:

Literally a skunk. Its weakness? If someone farts in its face it passes out. Fuckin weirdo I love it.

#poll results